Quote Of The Day

"Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake - Chessmaster Savielly Grigorievitch Tartakower (1887-1956)"

Thursday, May 31, 2001

That Fat-Tongued Mockney Wanker...
I've published a link to the gallery of old Fat Tongue before. But this made me fall off my chair.
Publishing that fat tongued git as we speak, darling
1. I've been a contestant on a TV game show - TRUE...
TVS used to produce a show for ITV called Tell The Truth. A panel of three plebs (us) versus three celebrities (them). The host was Fred Dinenage (remember him from 'How'?) We all had to pretend to be the same person and convince the celebs. They then each tried to find out who was the one real McCoy and who were the two Jeffrey Archers. We were up against Barbara Windsor (before Eastenders, darling), Leslie Crowther (arsehole before his Roller crashed, arse after), Peter Davidson (who was then Dr Who!). We all pretended to be an Eco-merchant from Cornwall. We tried out best but needless to say they weren’t fooled for a minute. I mean I ask you, do I look like a hippy?!
Last night was different fun. Bit like a blind date you're not sure what to expect. Will there be anyone cute? Will there be enough to say? etc. Remi and David have written it up well so there's little for me to add, except that on the way home I was a bit worse for wear and sent myself eight SMS messages which I piece together below in order. I think they were meant as some sort of aide memoire. No offence intended guys!
plasticbag - tom impish greymatter
8letters - iain irish marathon us marines
brainsluice - davo bright bt contractor
idiote - remi french cap gemini
scally - david broken arm rowdy
blogadoon - ian wisely nodded & looked on knowingly
swishcottage - david smiled and wondered who to fancy
zerocrop - mark looked a bit bemused dr who

Wednesday, May 30, 2001

Play that funky music white boy...
Ann Widdercombe dancing to Eminem, Tony Blair jiving to Hear'Say or William Hague getting down to S Club 7? Thanks to Mike via Mark for this fabulous download of the Stereo MPs. It's from the MTV UK web site and it's well worth the 1Mb wait. Enjoy.
Oh oh...
My boss has just asked me out to lunch. He has never done this before (in the 7 years I've know him). Down the pub in fact which considering he doesn't drink is even stranger.
a. I've got the sack
b. he's got the sack
c. he fancies me and is trying to get me in the sack
Being mildly paranoid I shall assume the worst until proven otherwise - stick to orange juice and watch where he puts his hands.

Tuesday, May 29, 2001

As it seems to be the popular thing to do…

One of these is false:
1. I've been a contestant on a TV game show
2. I've got a degree in General Relativity
3. I've got a bottle of whiskey with my name on it behind a bar in Tokyo
4. My favourite food is bread
5. I've had sex at the Vatican
6. I can juggle & unicycle at the same time
7. I have a fear of flying
8. I think red-heads are the sexiest people on the planet
9. I won first prize in an amateur striptease competition
10. I've sung professionally on stage
11. I'm a happy homosexual

I’ll buy a drink* to anyone who can spot the porky?

*(Terms and conditions apply. The terms ‘happy’ and ‘homosexual’ have been changed for legal reasons)
Popex nicked my wad...
Popex have sold all my shares and nicked 1,000,000 quid off me. I feel like I've been nationalised. OK, they gave me a silver disc but it's small consolation I can tell you.

Monday, May 28, 2001

Big Brother 2...
Started on Saturday night. It's fun, it's funky and I'll be glued. Naturally we have one gay house member - Brian, a trolly dolly. What's a bit more interesting is that after the first eviction in two weeks time an eleventh house member will be added as voted for by the great unwashed. There are three to choose from - my favourite is Soho-living, gym-bunny Josh. Sure enough this being the new millenium he has a web site to promote his bid to win the vote by Friday called Josh and Pecs. Is he gay? Probably. Is he cute? Definitely. Vote now on 09011 15 44 12.

Sunday, May 27, 2001

The weekend so far...
Many thanks to Jason Witcher on the UK Bloggers list who sent me a great piece of code that does automatic redirection. I published it to my old Blog*Spot site (which is now up and running - but who cares!) and now visitors to that site get forwarded straight to here. Fab. Just what I wanted. You're a star Jason.

Friday was dinner at Moro with Christopher New (a belated birthday present). It's a great restaurant - relaxed, trendy, lovely food etc. I'd recommend it for a special occasion. Afterwards we went to The Eddie for a few jars and then on to the Artful Dodger. I was bit too smashed to play pool so I danced a bit and hung out. Thank you to Michael and Guy. :)) In bed 3pm. Opps!

Saturday my sister, Jo-Jo, and my niece and nephew, Charlotte and William, came up to town and we did a bit of shopping in the West End. Then we raided Pret A Manger and we sat in Highbury Fields and had a picnic. We had a really nice day and it was great to see them.

I then had a disco nap and Mike and Tony came round at 9pm to watch Big Brother 2 launch episode. After that we went to the Sex and The City party. It was great fun. Meeting lots of new people and a few old friends. A perfect mix. Big up to Gary and Richard to being the hostesses with the mostess. Big up to Gregory (cute doctor) and Olaf (cute German) too. I'll be seeing you soon.

This afternoon we're off to a picnic at Vauxhall - might be a bit cold so I'm taking a thick sweatshirt. After that it'll be DE at the RVT and then who knows?

Saturday, May 26, 2001


Please pass this on.

There is another scam going on out there. You should send this to any
men you know and care about. I don't normally forward warnings about
scams, but this one looks important.

If a man comes to your door and says he is conducting a survey and asks
you to show him your dick, do NOT show him your dick.
This is a scam. He is only trying to see your dick.

Thanks Drew, I am now forwarned.

Friday, May 25, 2001

Soft Cell Groupie Tour 2001 (Boston)...
I've just booked myself and David a return flight to go and see Soft Cell (along with The Pet Shop Boys, Sinead O'Connor, The Magnetic Fields and Rufus Wainwright.) performing live in Boston, MA on 20th July 2001 at Wotapalava (Bank Boston Pavilion). I can't wait! Details to follow.
Soft Cell Groupie Tour 2001 (Madrid)...
I've just booked myself a return flight to go and see Soft Cell (along with Utah-Saints-U-U-U-U-Utah Saints and The Orb) performing live in Madrid on 23rd June 2001 at Astronet Live (Plaza de Toros Cubierta de Leganes). Paul (my ex who emigrated to Spain last year) is flying in from Sitges to meet me. I can't wait! Details to follow.
If you're Google mad like me why not add a Google Toolbar to your browser?
A little boy comes into the kitchen one day and says to his mum, "Granny's got a prawn!" The mother says, "What on earth do you mean?!" The boy takes his mother into the front room and shows him Granny, stark naked asleep on the sofa. He points to Grandmas protruding clitoris and says, "Granny's got a prawn!" His mother whispers, "That's your Grandmother's clitoris son!" To which the little boy replies...."Well, it tastes like a prawn!"

Thursday, May 24, 2001

I don't believe it....
I've actually managed to setup a new site for blogging! It took me three hours but finally I managed to do it. And I know diddly squat about any HTML, scripting or anything like that. I'm really pleased with myself. :)))

What with blogspot being down (again) and a bit of encouragement from David and the ukbloggers list I decided to try and publish to my own site. I have some commercial web on Demon's servers as part of my ADSL account. Never been used. Why not I thought? Nothing to lose.

First I checked that the space was up and running. It was. Then I tried to publish something to http://www.overyourhead.co.uk manually as a test. One call to Demon later to check my user name and password I was in. Demon do something odd with their web pages. You have to publish to a \docs directory. So I had to modify the blogger template settings to take this into account. Also the archive folder needed to be created manually and again this new path needed to this added to the template settings too. It took me three attempts to publish (examining the FTP error logs each time to make small corrections). The last hurdle was those wretched "canEdit undefined" errors but a quick check on Blogger's help files sorted that one out.

So here I am. Up and running. Hurrah! Drinks all round!

Wednesday, May 23, 2001

Whatever happened to the word 'gay'?...
You can buy tickets for 'the event formally known as Gay Pride' (aka Mardi Gras) on Ticketmaster. Not one mention of the word gay on the site I notice.
This came today...

Sex & The City

On your nightstand, one would most likely find:
O A pack of cigarettes and a half-eaten orange
O Black's Law Dictionary
O Handcuffs and Viagra
O A bowl of rose petal potpourri

The men you date all seem to be:
O Tall, dark, handsome and emotionally unavailable
O Short, four-eyed and frisky
O Rich and raunchy or at the very least, wearing fireman red
O Well-bred, well-read with a few roman numerals after their names

Your idea of a fashionable ensemble is:
O A vintage 50s slip paired with Manolos and a Fendi bag
O A crisp pant suit and tie
O A trench coat with nothing underneath
O A Cynthia Rowley satin dress and matching mules

In a relationship, you are:
O the 'abracadabra'... the 'poof'
O the big, mean Mommy
O In control
O Counting the days till 'I do'

Your idea of a 'score' is:
O A reservation at a hip new restaurant
O Squeezing in step-aerobics, the dry-cleaner and the New York Times crossword before noon
O The entire defensive end of the New York Giants
O Italian shoes, half-off

The one thing you can't live without is:
O Your laptop computer
O Your Palm Pilot
O Your copy of the Kama Sutra
O Your Martha Stewart Living subscription

Your motto could be:
O 'Why go forward when you can go backward?'
O 'Don't mess with me. I'm a partner'
O 'I'll try anything once'
O 'Nice girls do sometimes'

You wouldn't be caught dead in:
O Pantyhose and hair scrunchies
O A 'Mommy and Me' class
O New Jersey
O A compromising position

What: Party (Fancy dress if you like, but not necessary)
Where: (address withheld to protect the innocent! - let me know if you want to go)
When: Saturday 26 May 2001 from 8.00 pm until...
Why: House warming / Spring has sprung (Garry thinks it's summer anyway!) / Sex & the City celebration

You (and guests) are invited to celebrate the beginning of spring with Richard and Garry. The first cosmopolitan will be free, maybe the second as well, who knows you may be lucky. All you have to bring is your gorgeous self and a bottle of bubbly (nothing cheap please, the hosts will take care of that). Please complete the above questionnaire to determine which Sex & the City Character you are most like. Your analysis will be available on the evening at the party.

RSVP Please
"Are you gay (or cute enough to try out for the team)? Are you a blogger (or thinking of starting one)? Do you live in London (or anywhere near by)? If so, come and join us upstairs at Compton's on Wednesday 30th May from 8pm onwards for London's 1st Gay Bloggers Meet."
Always the bridesmaids...
Pop Quiz was set last night by someone called Rupert. We bear-ly knew him (geddit?! 'bear'-ly? Rupert? Rupert the Bear. Oh, please yourselves!) Wendy had said she thought the quiz was easy. But what did she know? It was tough. David, Darren and I sat on three stools by the fag machine and waited out fate. Round one was a who's covering Bowie round. We got 'Heroes' but not that is was being sung by Nico. We got Lulu but not that she was singing 'Watch That Man'. Spectacularly (thanks to Darren) we got 'Life On Mars' being sung, in her native Norwegian, by Frida (the less attractive of Abba twins). The next round was 80's instrumental B-sides. David and I shall be handing in our Soft Cell Fan Club membership cards shortly for incorrectly guessing the Human League when we were hearing Soft Cell's 'So' (the B-side to 'What'), we should all be shot for allowing the suggestion that the The Smith's 'Money Changes Everything' (the B-side to 'Big Mouth Strikes Again') was performed by Dire Straits. We redeemed ourselves at the end of the round however with correctly identifing New Order when we heard 'Hurt' (the B-side to 'Temptation'). Spot the connection round was Barbara Windsor, Noele Gordon and Adam Rickett (all soap stars). Bette Midler performing 'Movin' Out' was the observation round. Yes, he should take up with the baker's wife instead, yes he has 61 cassettes and but no we didn't think he should leave a copy of Lorna Doone behind. Half way through the quiz we had just six points (yikes!).

Luckily Dave showed up at this point so we swelled to be a team four. We also moved to a recently vacated table so things just had to get better - and they did. David was the only one in the pub that spotted Gary Numan singing a 6ths' song which was pleasing. The next round was TV themes. Follyfoot, Ask The Family (I used to love that show) and Eldorado. Then we had a Bowie does covers round. 'I Can't Explain' by The Who and 'Let's Spend The Night Together' by The Rolling Stones caused us no grief. But the Velvet Underground's 'Venus In Furs' did. Anthony Newley anyone? The final round was chart hits. The answers were 'Pete Heller's Big Love' by Pete Heller, 'Boom Boom Boom Boom!!' by the Vengaboys and S Club 7's 'Bring It All Back' Could you guess the year they were all hits? We did. For a change.

There was a bit on haggling over the Vengaboy's title. Rupert insisted it was three Booms not four. The extra Boom was confirmed by Marky on the phone later though. So we should have got fifthteen then. Lost by a point and a half. The winners (surprize, surprize) were the Reader's Wives but they won the booby prize of the remixes of Geri's CD single (ha! bloody ha!)

Tuesday, May 22, 2001

And he drove the fastest milkcart in the West...
Dear Bondholder
Congratulations. One of your Premium Bonds has won a prize and a warrant for the money is enclosed. Please pay it into a bank or building society.
Hurray, hurrah and good cheer! I've won on the Premium Bonds! Will I be retiring early on the money? I doubt it. Will I be splashing out on a fast car or a glamourous holiday? Probably not. I won the minimum amount. So I shall bank it and buy myself a Mars bar instead. Thanks anyway, Ernie.

Monday, May 21, 2001

Me? Transparent?...
Both Tom and Iain are making blatant attempts to pump up their hits by using "top ten" words from search engines. I think the practice is shameless and I would never consider such an act. No, I would never use the words National Lottery, Maff, Foot and Mouth, Exchange rates, Eminem, Inland Revenue, SMS, text messaging, EastEnders, West Ham, PlayStation Cheats, Westlife, Alton Towers, Harry Potter, Arsenal FC, South West Trains, UCAS, Eurovision, Buffy, Revision, London Eye, Route planner, Big Brother, survivor, sex, naked, lesbian, Microsoft, election, Nintendo, blog, fun, love, Manchester United, Liverpool, cricket, Beckham in one sentence. It would seem so... transparent :)

Sunday, May 20, 2001

Closer to Heaven review (no plot spoilers in case you wanna see it)...
So was it any good? To be honest no. I so wanted to like this. Bits were OK but I just never felt engaged. I never connected or felt any sympathy towards any of he characters - I just didn't care whether they fell in or out of love. Whether they lived or died. It had all the right ingredients - Pet Shop Boys' music, Jonathan Harvey as author, a cast and crew with a good reputation. But even my low expectations were sadly misplaced. Billie Tricks (Frances Barber) plays an aging pop star with a past. In many ways she holds the whole show together as the confidente of the other leading characters. But despite punchy lines like, "Love? That was like Vietman. After a lot of protesting it ended in the Seventies" her Eartha Kitt growl and Gabriel looks began to grate before long. Her Billie's Babes were little more that Hot Gossip in day-glo. Things looked up a bit half way through the first half with the appearance of Bob Saunders (Paul Boughton) a thinly veiled Tom Watts character as a fat, gay, hideous record producer. But he was bearly used beyond his first half success. The music was generaly OK. The previously written PSB songs such as Shameless and Closer to Heaven sounded adequate live but just like Mamma Mia some songs were shoe-horned with amazing crassness into the plot. In Denial was a good example. It's reprise in the second half was only slightly better. The only moving part in the whole show was a dramatic rendition of Vampires by the father character Vic Christian (David Burt). This consisted of him singing stage right while the two main gay characters had sex in a bed naked stage centre. Sadly the rest of the second half was trite to the point of boredom. On the whole the show was too 'gay'. Not camp enough but too 'gay'. Homosexuality was not only a given of ever male character but their only characteristic. They had no other qualities. I can't see it running as a musical. A straight audience will find nothing to identify with. It'll close at the end of the summer at the latest. Closer to Heaven - your fifteen week's of fame starts now.

Star Alert: Neil Tennant sat in front of us. I chatted to him a bit on the way out - he's going every night. Why torture yourself, love?

Saturday, May 19, 2001

Amazing, sensational, dramatic, heart wrenching...
Publishing as we speak, darling Publishing as we speak, darling
Last night's Goldfrapp concert at the Union Chapel was one of the best, if not the best concert I have ever been too. And judging by the roars from the packed pews I wasn’t alone in that view. I’m a fairly recent convert to Goldfrapp’s individual style of trip-hop, orchestral, landscape music. Many have likened Alison Goldfrapp’s voice to Shirley Bassey – to be honest I don’t see the connection. She has a multiple octave range and a delicious sexiness that would put Ms Bassey to shame. Alison is understated, almost shy on stage. She often would face sideways or towards the rest of the band, which only added to the mystery of her performance. She was dressed in an outfit that looked like a grey BOAC airline stewardess’ uniform from the 60’s. She drifted about the stage and struck the occasional pose that wouldn’t have looked out of place in Cabaret. A very enigmatic performance only made more wondrous when we realised that the sound coming over the speakers was actually coming out of her mouth and not from some synthesizer. She could in turns scream, soar, scale and boom in perfect pitch. The dreaminess of the songs and brilliance of the vocal performance from the outset told us we were in for something special. There were nine members of the band in total; a stringed quartet, an Irish fiddler, a drummer, two keyboards (one being Will Gregory) and Alison. Their music has an art house movie / east European freak show dramatic richness that any film score composer would be proud of. Impossibly deep organ riffs swelled and fell and echoed round the chapel with eerie effect. They performed every song from Felt Moutain to a rapt crowd. The light show transformed the chapel from late night smoky jazz room on Pilots to the magical dreamscape evoked by Utopia (the new single). Alison’s dusty vocals on Paper Bag brought a tear to my eye. Well actually tears were streaming down my face by the end. It was a very special moment. They did two encores. The much anticiapted cover of ONJ's Physical and Horse Tears which brought the house down. If ever you get the chance to see them live. Go. I’ll be there.

Star Alert: Simon and Yassim Le Bon were snogging in a row but one behind us. Steven Tyler (that Aerosmith singer) and Chrissie Hynde tried to nick my seat while I was at the bar with Colin. Mark fought them off valiantly.

Goldfrapp interview here.
The Erasure revival starts here...
My friend Andy went for an audition a few years back. Three months later I was first in the queue to see his first live gig at the Mean Fiddler and first in the queue to see his second live gig at the Bell in King's Cross. He introduced me to his partner in crime Vince shortly afterwards. Some years later Vince and I went to Amsterdam on an infamous holiday (even PopBitch wouldn't publish the details!) We've lost contact recently though. Imagine my surprize to see that Wheatus have covered A Little Respect as their follow up to Teenage Dirtbag. My flabber has never been so gasted.
Get ready for a big blog about last night's concert.

Friday, May 18, 2001

The world's longest chain...
People are either linking to it or talking about other people linking to it so I shall too. Why girls are evil.
Closer and Closer To Heaven...
Friday night: Goldfrapp at the Union Chapel with Tony, Gordon, Nikki, Colin, Marky and me. Can't wait. Will blog about it tomorrow.
Saturday daytime: Dunno, housework probably.
Saturday evening: Closer to Heaven with David, Dave, Ian, Marky and me. No doubt we will all rush to blog our (re)views.
Saturday night: Not sure, may stay in (gasp!)
Sunday: No plans - but a trip to the RVT is long overdue.
An oldie but a goody...
The urinal game
Top night...
We went to the Gaydar Radio launch party at Heaven last night. It was one of those anyone-who-is-anyone kinds of bashes. The cute boys were out in force. Champagne and vodka flowed freely. A little too freely in my case. At least I wasn’t as bad as some people though… (feeling a bit rough are we, Mike?) Apologies to Henry and Cam for any leering and groping that might have gone on. I have no excuse but a lusty eye and a belly full of Dutch courage. We may be living in a high-tech era of chat-rooms and e-mail and but put a group of gay men together with free alcohol and you have a dynamite mix.
Note to self #1: When I tell myself to not drink any more. I shouldn’t.
Note to self #2: Neat vodka should be sipped not quaffed.
Note to self #3: Buy more Neurofen Plus – we’re running dangerously low.

Thursday, May 17, 2001

Still laughing...
Pssst! Wanna see a porno version of your favourite site? Just visit Pornolize and put in your URL.
Laugh? I haven't stopped...
Oh, poor little John, did some nasty man throw an egg at you?
It reads like the rambling screeds that paranoids scrawl with crayons...
Dave Sim is a mad, mad bastard. Now, let me reassure you right from the outset. This column is not going to be a point-by-point rebuttal of Sim's increasingly bizarre public statements. That could be a complete waste of my time and yours. I am not interested in Sim's ramblings. Not in that way, anyway. But what interests me is the number of people who still are interested. Sim has been cultivating a reputation as a seriously warped mind for a few years now, but in recent months he's excelled himself.
Oh no, I though. What has David done to deserve this? But then soon realised it's not our David Sim but that David Sim, the Cerebus guy. Full rant here.
North / South Divide...


NAME _________________________
NICK-NAME ____________________
GANG NAME ____________________

1. Deco has 0.5 kilos of cocaine. If he sells an 8 ball to Vinno for 300 quid and 90 grams to Tomo for 90 quid a gram, what is the street value of the rest of his hold?

2. Anto pimps 3 brassers. If the price is 40 quid a royde, how many roydes per day must each brasser perform to support Vinno's 500 quid a day crack habit?

3. Whacker wants to cut the kilo of cocaine he bought for 7,000 quid, to make a 20% profit. How many grams of strychnine will he need?

4. Christy got 6 years for murder. He also got 350,000 for the hit. If his common law wife spends 33,100 per month, how much money will be left when he gets out?

Extra Credit Bonus: How much more time will Christy get for killing the slapper that spent his money?

5. If an average can of spray paint covers 22 square meters and the average letter is 1 square metre, how many letters can be sprayed with eight fluid ounce cans of spray paint with 20% extra paint free?

6. Liamo steals Eamo's skateboard. As Liamo skates away at a speed of 35mph, Eamo loads his brother's armalite. If it takes Eamo 20 seconds to load the gun, how far will Liamo have travelled when he gets whacked?





(if longer, please continue on separate sheet)
DADDY'S COMPANY___________

1. Julian smashes up the old man's car, causing x amount of damage and killing three people. The old man asks his friend who's a JP to intervene in the court system, then forges his insurance claim and receives a payment of y. The difference between x and y is three times the life insurance settlement for the three dead people. What kind of car is Julian driving now?

2. Chloe's personal shopper decides to substitute generic and own-brand products for the designer goods favoured by her employer... In the course of a month she saves the price of a return ticket to Fiji and Chloe doesn't even notice the difference. Is she thick or what?

3. Roly fancies the arse off a certain number of tarts, but he only has enough Rohypnol left to render 33.3% unconscious. If he has 14 Rohypnol, how is he ever going to shag the other two-thirds?

4. If Savannah throws up four times a day for a week she can fit a size 8 Versace. If she only throws up three times a day for two weeks, she has to make do with a size 10 D&G. How much does liposuction cost?

5. Alexander is unsure about his sexuality. Three days a week he fancies women. On the other days he fancies men, ducks and vacuum cleaners. However he only has access to the Hoover every third week. When does his Sunday Independent column start?

Wednesday, May 16, 2001

I'm currently listening to R.E.M.'s newie Reveal. It's actually quite good (this from someone who thinks REM did one good song.) I was amused to see something about Mr Stipe on Popex today.
Oh no! My world has been turned upside down!
Wanting some free publicity, which oddly coincides with the release of REM's new album, Reveal, Michael Stipe has finally come out of the closet. He tells Time magazine he's a "queer artist" who has been "in a relationship with an amazing man" for the past three years. As the world is taken aback by this startling revelation, Stipe also adds, "I was being made to be a coward about it, rather than someone who felt like it really was a very private thing."
In other news, Shit Found in Woods. Police blame Bears.
And David had suggested the Black Cap...
After the quiz Ian, Carl, (insert name of manager of Compton's here) and I had fun putting the world to rights at Bar Code. Carl waxed lyrical about Cole Porter. INOMOCH waxed lyrical about Malta. Ian nodded. I nodded*. We both drank. By 2am I'd found my way home. Just.

* Oh dear. I just read Ian's take on last night. I see the words 'heated discussion' and realise that I probably wasn't nodding my head (as I remember it) but shaking it violently and arguing the toss (as Ian remembers it). Alcohol can prune the memory so effectively I find. Unless I'm very much mistaken we've both come up with acronyms for the same guy at the same time. ALF = INOMOCH. This must be like when women synchronise their cycles.
Lions and Tigers and Bears, oh my...
At the Retro Bar's Pop Quiz last night Wendy's outfit was a picture. Bunches, cowgirl jeans, faded blue gingham cotton shirt. See looked just like Dorothy from the Wizard Of Oz. So naturally our team name was... Friends of Dorothy. We teased her a bit during the quiz but she didn't cotton (geddit!!) on until the end. Out team had the full compliment of David, Dave, Juggy and me so hopes were high. Wendy tried to stir up a bit of friendly rivalry between us and The Reader's Wifes team which wasn't really there. That's to say the 'friendly' bit wasn't there. The rivalry was there in spades. The quiz itself had a theme. The alphabet. So answers were:-
Name the members of Dee-Lite (Lady Miss Kier, Towa Tei and Dimitri)
Aretha Franklin
Serge Gainsbourg
Lauryn Hill
Name the year Chris Isaak's Wicked Game was a hit (we got this wrong dropping a full point with 1991 - it was late 1990)
Johnny Cash / Grace Jones
Ronan Keating - Lovin' each day
Led Zeppelin - Black Dog (we got the band but not the song so dropped a half point)
Barry Manilow / Frank Sinatra
Stevie Nicks
Definitely Maybe
Perez Prado - Guaglione
Freddie Mercury, Brian May, Roger Taylor, John Deacon
Michael Stipe
The Sopranos
The The - Matt Johnson
Ultravox - 1980
Robbie Wiliams - Supreme
X-ray Specs - Germ Free Adolescent
Yello - Shirley Bassey
Zombies - She's Not There
So we got twenty-two and a half out of twenty-four. The Reader's Wifes got twenty-three pipping us at the post (yet again). Luck smiled on us at the end though. They got the booby prize of Ronan Keating's CD.

Tuesday, May 15, 2001

Round the bends...
We have an entry in the from-an-original-idea-by-David-to-fit-as-many-album-titles-by-an-artist-in-a-single-SMS competition (did I mention it had become a competition?).
Pablo, honey, what's up with the Kid, a case of the bends maybe? I forget - I'm an amneisac! Still, found an OK computer as you wanted, but no radio head phones.
This from Tom. Who I'd not heard from before but who lists his likes as his red hair which wins an automatic inclusion in my blog list.
BTW: Guy, I'll keep your entry quiet - for a small wad of used fivers Friday latest :)
PSB-SMS (Pet Shop Boys' - Short Message System)...
David's challenge on Saturday was to get all the Pet Shop Boys' album titles into one SMS message (i.e. less than 160 characters including spaces). As a prize he would get me a copy of the free PSB promo CD from the Daily Telegraph / HMV offer. He seemed happy with what I came up with but it's only now I realised that I missed one out. Relentless. So here's a rejigged one to included that too. Phew! It took some shoe-horning!
Being bilingual my behaviour’s introspective. My life's discography isn't just relentless Disco. Actually my nightlife’s very alternative. Can I Disco 2 please?
This could start a trend. All the album titles by a given artist into one SMS. Any suggestions?
I've been playing Goldfrapp's Felt Moutain on continous play at work. I just love it. It's my album of the year. Whatsmore they're touring. We're going to see her on Friday night at the Union Chapel at the end of our road. Can't wait.
Bit of blurb:- Bath's singer/composer/keyboardist Allison Goldfrapp began exploring music as a part of her studies as a Fine Art Painting major at Middlesex University, mixing sound, visuals, and performances in her installation pieces. While she was still in college, she appeared on her friend Tricky's 1995 debut Maxinquaye, which led to appearances on albums from other cutting-edge electronic artists, including Orbital's Snivilisation and Add N to X's Avant Hard. By the late '90s, Goldfrapp began honing her own compositions; one of her friends passed some of her demos on to composer Will Gregory. Finding much in common in their musical tastes and approaches, the duo took Allison's surname as the name for their collaboration. After signing to Mute in 1999, Goldfrapp delivered their debut album, Felt Mountain, in Autumn 2000.

Monday, May 14, 2001

TW3 (that was the weekend that was)...
- Had a great night's sleep on Friday (due to new duvet, new pillows, clean sheets)
- Saturday afternoon Arsenal lost 1-2 to Liverpool in the Cup Final. Arrrrrrse!
- Missed the best bit of Eurovision (i.e. the songs) that evening as we were at a pub near by brother's waiting for food that turned up 90 minutes late. Double-arse!
- Had a crap night's sleep on Saturday at my brother's as the countryside at dawn is too fucking LOUD for my liking.
- Rushed back to compete in the Pink Angels charity pool competition on Sunday afternoon at Krystals. Got to the Grand Final but lost out to Central Station Walthamstow. We were representing Freedoms. It took 5 hours to play our way through all the qualifying rounds. Rather tired and emotional by the end. :)

Friday, May 11, 2001

This has been posted but not published. Must be me.
Phew, what a scorcher...
Yesterday and today our transportation services department have been interviewing for crewmen to work on our ships for either 3 or 6 month contracts. Candidates have to be male, fit and young (18-25). In total, 40 cute young, tattooed crew-cuts have been to our office one after the other, sitting in reception for 20 minutes and then being interviewed in the room next to mine. I think I need a cold shower.
This weekend...
No plans as yet. The sun is shining. Bar Code is tempting - except I have armfuls of Hungarian goose bedding (see below) so I guess that's out. Maybe go out later instead as I'm not working tomorrow. Hurray!
Bit of house work. Cup Final on telly Go! Gooners! Go! Then to my brother's in Watton-on-Stone, Hertfordshire for the night. Pub meal in the evening followed by Eurovision Song Contest on TV. Should be laugh. I've a pop quiz lined up too if we're up for it.
Travelling back from Watton-on-Stone and straight to Krystals for a charity pool competition in aid of Pink Angels. Starts at 1pm so if we get knocked out early (quite likely) we'll be off to the RVT.
It's the geese I feel sorry for...
Having spent ages this lunchtime with Marky in John Lewis I know all there is to know about mattresses, pillows and duvets. We chose the matteress first. It was fun lying on each bed in turn, rolling about and bouncing about and generally embarrassing other customers and the staff by equal measure. Not that two queens shopping in John Lewis is an unusual sight of course. The mattress we eventually ordered was some posh thing that takes eight weeks to be delivered and that claims to have a double-helical super-duper whatsit system. The sales guy blushed when I asked him if it would take three comfortably. Well, you've got to ask! The duvet we chose was stuffed with Hungarian white goose down. My dears, no one buys Siberian any more, white is the new black, feathers are so last century and duck is positively dead in the duvet world. The four pillows we bought were again Hungarian white goose down but we bought two with Hungarian goose feathers for added weight. So we're all set. And we have 350 bald geese to thank.

Thursday, May 10, 2001

The most fun you can have with a flash movie...ever!
Go to this site and watch this. Go on. Now. Go. It's fab. GO!
The Lion Sleeps Tonight...
Having lived on the floor for 6 months we finally got our act together and bought a bed. Glad to see the picture shows a bed surrounded by a mess. It'll feel right at home chez nous.
Pet Shop Boys...
As Closer To Heaven rolls ever nearer The Telegraph is giving away a free PSB CD to help promote it.

Closer to Heaven promo CD
On Saturday, May 12, the Daily Telegraph will feature an interview with Neil and Chris and also a voucher which can be taken to HMV shops in the UK and exchanged for a free CD of Pet Shop Boys performing four songs from "Closer to Heaven", including two new tracks. The four tracks are: 1. Closer to Heaven (slow version) 2. Friendly fire 3. Shameless 4. Closer to Heaven (Album version) The sleeve will be designed by Farrow as with all official PSB releases. Neil and Chris have begun working with Stephen Hague on the cast album to be released over the summer.
NOTE: There was a special 5 trk CD released earlier last week for Journalists only. This 5 trk CD is NOT the same CD being release through the Daily Telegraph.

We've got tickets for the first Saturday so we shall reserve judgement until then.

Wednesday, May 09, 2001

Death and taxes...
In the post I just got this.

60 Cross Street
N1 2BA
Date: 07 Apr 2001
Veterinary Surgeon: Claire Lang
Item: Oliver
1.00 Euthanasia Only Cat (Incl Consult Fee) CL 23.50 VAT 4.11 TOTAL 27.61
1.00 Cremation Cat CL 11.00 VAT 1.93 TOTAL 12.93
07 Apr 01 CL 34.50 VAT 6.04 TOTAL 40.54

And I was looking at the amount and thinking. Why do I have to pay tax to the Government when one of the closest things to my heart is dead? How cruel VAT is. It doesn't discriminate between life and death. Someone kills my cat and I pay the Government money. Someone burns my cat to a crisp and I pay the Government money. I hate VAT. And I'm not too stupid to realise this is all transference. I'm feeling sad at the loss of my cat and irrationally transferring that to anger at the tax man. All the same I think in my considered opinion ALL VAT MUST DIE. KILL! KILL! KILL!
DJ Jazzy Jonce...
Setting the quiz last night was great fun. Quite a few people came up to me afterwards and said that they had enjoyed it a lot which was great to hear. Wendy was pleased too and said I could do another one anytime I wanted which again was nice to hear; but I don't think I'll do another one anytime soon. It was fun and exciting - but also rather stressful. To be honest it must be a strain for her to come up with fresh quizzes week after week. The boys seemed to enjoy it too - even though they should have won (just like every week, eh boys!). I'd spent a lot of time checking and rechecking the answers. So luckily there wasn't too much controversy. Just the fact that there was no George Martin in the quiz at all (sorry Ian) and the fact that Wendy added Nicky Chinn to an answer where only Mike Chapman should have been. But, hey, what would a pop quiz be like if there were no niggles? Whatsmore what would a quiz be like if Strawberry Switchblade's Since Yesterday wasn't in there somewhere? I'll never know because it's always in mine! Playing the music before the quiz, in the interval and after was great fun too. Now I sort of see the kick that DJs must get from playing music live.

Tuesday, May 08, 2001

Pop Quiz goes all 'Cloak and Dagger'...
Just spoke to Wendy at the Retro Bar and I'm definitely on for tonight. The questions are all typed up, the answers double-checked, the clues cross-referenced and running order colour-coded. All the answers have been put into an envelope marked 'Top Secret' and will be delivered by two burly security guards just moments before the quiz begins. The tunes have been burnt onto fresh unmarked CDs without track listings and are being stored at a secret location. Even the half-time music is encrypted in case it gives any clues to the nature of the quiz. Secret tie-breaker songs have also been prepared and tested on industrial strength quiz teams for robustness. Mulitple endings have been shot so even the cast don't know the outcome... (OK, I'll stop now this is getting silly!)
New Top, New Bottom...
I have a new MD starting today - needless to say the internet anagram engines have been working overtime on that one. Also I have a new secretary starting today, June. They both seem nice. Only time will tell. They both passed the first test without a hitch though: "Hello, I'm Jonathan. Welcome to the company. Before anyone else tells you: the water cooler's on the blink, internal calls are a bit crackily at the moment and I'm gay."

Saturday, May 05, 2001

Slapton Sands...
Friday afternoon we set off for Devon. Stuart and Chistopher have a beautiful cottage down in Slapton that we go down to every now and again. The journey was fine - if a little long. Friday afternoon traffic coupled with the Bank Holiday crowd meant that we were competing with home counties finest caravans for motorway space. We arrived late, ate late but rose early. Sun bathing in the garden was followed by a marvellous pub lunch in the open air, followed by a leisurely walk along Slapton Sands beach to the 'gay bit' at the end. Needless top say with all this parading about semi-clad I got a little sunkissed. Or should that be son-kissed. Fabulous supper cooked on the arga awaits so I shall sign off now. Early to bed tonight. Sea air and country cooking take it out of a guy.
The weekend starts here....
Thursday night was a top night. Started off at Bar Code with David, Dave, Ian, Stuart, Marky, Carl and Richard. Then Carl, Richard, Marky and I went to Yo! Sushi for food. Then Broken Hearts Club at the Warner West End with a crowd full of e-mail friendly poofs. Then Bar Code again. Then Central Station. That Richard is such a bad influence on me. I love him!

Thursday, May 03, 2001

The message is the medium...
Pls, stop sendg msgs2ths
no, i am not linda,
I hv not slept w/yr sis,
+i wd nvr call any1's ma a slag.
Gd luk w/viag.
Luv, yr wrong no. xxx

I think this one should have won. Full results here.
Money For Nothing...
I forgot I opted out of SERPS yonks ago (1988?). Someone at work had suggested it might be a good idea. It'd mean my state pension would be lower but what the hell. What did I know? I signed a form and that was that. Well it turns out that unbeknownst to me the resulting contributions were being put into a pension fund (well three separate funds actually) with Friends Provident. I got a letter today saying that FP is going to demutualise and I'm in line for a windfall. Might be quite a bit of money. Yipeee. Double-yippee 'cos Mark has a FP account too! We're gonna go S-H-O-P-P-I-N-G.
Track-by-track review of Geri Halliwell's new album here. Everyone seems to descibed as 'very Shirley Bassey' these days. No one holds a torch of course.
3, 2, 1...
Ted Rogers is no more. 3-2-1 was a strange quiz show. Perplexingly difficult questions for what were trashy (geddit?) prizes. Still, back in 1978 when it started it was fresh, brash and unmissable Saturday night viewing. The playground became full of people trying the three finger fiddle. Rest is peace, Ted.

Wednesday, May 02, 2001

The Tube strike has been called off. Looks like I'll be in work as usual tomorrow. Sorry Ian, won't be joining you at The White Swan tonight. Bum.
The A-Z of Perverted Sex...
This week's Popbitch is very funny (subscribe, I urge you). Highlights are links to a lovely picture of Debbie McGee, a nice story about those S Club 7 girls, the Gay Dictionary and a nice picture of a man with a yo-yo.
Good news about the tube strike tomorrow...
It's ON. That means I can 'work from home'. Hurrah!

Bad news about the tube strike tomorrow...
But oh dear, I forgot. How are we going to get into town tomorrow night? We have freebies to go and see a special preview of The Broken Hearts Club at the Warner West End. We entered the first-100-people-to-email-us competition in Boyz a few weeks back and got a bunch of tickets. We saw the film last year at the London Lesbian and Gay Film Festival and want to see it again. It's fab. It's got Dean Cain and John Mahoney in it. A kind of gay Diner. Heart warming stuff.

(PS: do you like my new pop up text? Thanks to matteecentral for the idea)

Tuesday, May 01, 2001

Underground, Overground Wombling Free...
+++ 17:23 Wombles have broken through police lines to the west of Oxford Circus, supported by at least 1000 protestors. Confusing situation: in some cases protestors out manoeuvring police.
+++ 17:30 North of Oxford Circus: atmosphere still festive despite cold and wet.
+++ 17:33 Around Oxford Circus police are still in control, but the 50 or so Wombles who broke through the police lines and around 1000 protestors are now in West End/ Mayfair area, laughing, celebrating and enjoying their freedom. The few police in this area are leaving.
Blow by blow account from IndyMedia.
Borrring, borrrring....
We can see the so called 'riot' in Oxford Circus from here. Damp squib if you ask me. C'mon lads and lasses. Put some feeling into it. I think it needs some crowd rousing songs. Something to ring in the changes and a need caring society. We're here! We're Queer! And we're don't like global capitalism - in particular Starbucks, Nike or MacDonalds! - ok, I'd be the first to admit that needs a bit of work. And suggestions?
Another Fair Lady bites the dust...
Thanks to the Guardian for this.
Last week another episode was added to the soap opera that, appropriately enough, surrounds the National Theatre's My Fair Lady, when Martine McCutcheon's understudy was herself replaced by an understudy. To lose one Eliza might be considered an accident, but to lose two - well ...
It fell to Jonathan Pryce, McCutcheon's co-star, to nail the absurdity of the situation. "This will be your first Eliza," he told last Wednesday's sell-out crowd, "but it is my second of the day - and my third this week. Any member of the audience interested in playing Eliza can find applications at the door."
OK, I'm hooked...
I wrote about this a while ago. The hype is now in hyperdrive. Even the Guardian's involved.
Clavius Base
Jeanine Salla
Evan Chan
Fuller details from The Trail
Original story "Super-Toys Last All Summer Long" by Brian Aldis here.
Preparation for Mayday riots...
Berkeley Square (where I work and the nightingales used to sing) is all boarded up. Well most of it is. Interesting to see that Starbucks just off the square has decided to remain open. I hate Starbucks. Shame there are no protesters here (hint, hint). Maybe if Berkeley Square were a proper place on the Monopoly board rather than just the generic 'Mayfair'...