First Entry...
I was born ten years ago today. Hello world.
Not a good start: got my bum smacked straight after coming out, then had the cord to my tummy cut and then some bastard tied a filthy great knot in it. Then when I cried they almost smothered me with towels. Bastards. Still, it got a bit better after that. Some strange woman kept hugging me which was nice. I think I'll call her mother. She would keep thrusting a large wobbly pink thing at me though so I don't think I'll develop much of a liking for those as I get older. It did give me some nice sweet warm milk though when I chewed on it so maybe I'll put up with it for a little while longer. There was a man there too with a cigar in his mouth but I don't expect I'll see much more of him again. He left. Oh well, I'm bored of crying now I think I'll take a nap. If only they'd stop grinning and pulling funny faces at me. Morons.