Quote Of The Day

"Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake - Chessmaster Savielly Grigorievitch Tartakower (1887-1956)"

Friday, September 28, 2007

Sickipedia v2.0...
The sickest joke site ever gets a makeover. McCann jokes, Jacko jokes, Glitter jokes... all of human low-life is there.

Here are a couple of the tamer ones:

I said to the wife, "I thought I saw your name on a loaf of bread today, but when I looked again it said 'Thick Cut' "

Little Johnny walks into his parents bedroom to find his Dad giving his Mum one. His Dad smirks and throws a pillow at the door saying, "Get outta here, you little shit!" A couple of hours later Dad hears a whole lot of commotion coming from little Johnny's bedroom. He goes up to find little Johnny giving his Grandma a right royal seeing to. Little Johnny smiles, "It's not so fucking funny when it's your Mum, is it?"

And of course there's the sickest joke ever... but I'll let you find that one yourselves.

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Birthday Drinks...
Thanks to everyone who came out last night. It was lovely to see you all. And thanks for my cards, presents and good wishes.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Happy Birthday...
Happy Birthday to me.
Happy Birthday to me.
Happy Birthday to meee.
Happy Birthday to me.

Beers in Comptons 7pm tonight if you fancy it.


Last night Stu and I went to see Erasure at the Royal Albert Hall. We met up with uber-fan Guy and Cesar for a bite to eat first in South Kensington and then headed up the road to see the boys. OneTwo were on first (the bar was full but for me and few other people in the auditorium). I like them though. I went to Erasure's first every gig way back when (1985?) at The Bell in Kings Cross. And it was as fun last night as it was then. Happy uplifting tunes. Great show. And Andy's voice was as good as I've ever heard it. Fab.

Tuesday, September 25, 2007


Last weekend we went away to Bournemouth for the weekend to celebrate my parents 50th wedding anniversary. Obvious my mum and dad were there, as were my brother and sister with their families so all told we were thirteen. We all stayed in the Royal Bath Hotel (looks nice but the food was terrible) which was right down on the sea front. We spent the time wandering around and generally hanging out which was great fun actually. And on the Sunday drove along the coast a bit to Mudeford to revisit some of the places we used to go as kids when my granddad had a flat down in the area. It brought back memories of forty years ago when our sole two week summer holiday was to stay at 16 Bure Park. Below are a few  snaps.

Monday, September 24, 2007

Friday, September 21, 2007

The Artist formerly known as The Artist Formerly Known As Prince...
Tonight we've got tickets to go to the last night of TAFKATAFKAP. I've not been to the Dome O2 (apart from a brief look round in 1999 while it was being built) before so that should be fun. And everyone says the gig is fun so that'll be good too. Bet he goesn't play my favourite Prince track though... Mountains (which seems to have been all but deleted from his back catalog).

Update: the tickets fell through so we didn't get to see him. D'oh!

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Arsenal 3-0 Sevilla...
Last night Paul and I went to see Arsenal start their Champions League campaign. And what a start it was. We whopped their Spanish behinds 3-0. Come on you Reds!

And adding to our joy was the sound of the bubble bursting over at Chelsea.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

100 Movies, 100 Quotes, 100 Numbers...
Very clever film clips mentioning all the numbers from 100 to 1.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Lofty Notions...
I moved to my flat about ten years ago and something that's always been in the back of my mind is to get a loft conversion. What with urban life being what it is there's always the need for more space. As sadly I don't have a garden I can't extend backwards there are but two choices; move or expand upwards.

I had thought about moving but to be honest I like it where I live. I'd be hard pushed to afford one the houses in my area and I'm not sure I want the hassle of moving. Mind you having the builders in for three months (that's three builders 'months') may not be the easy or sanest option either.

Anyways, the folks next door, Simon and Annabel, are getting their loft done so I decided to do the same. Islington Planning application forms aren't the easiest to navigate and I need much help from my friendly neighbours. But guess what? Last week I got approval with conditions. So next step is to try and work out what all the conditions mean ("fenestration treatment" anyone?) and get someone round to quote.

Then there's the months of dust and scraping around to pay for it. 'Deep breaths', 'eye on the prize' and all that.
Slow Kylie = George Michael...
In case you haven't seen this before; Slow Kylie = George Michael.

Monday, September 17, 2007

On Saturday Stu, Paul and I all went to Duckie. All the usual lovelies were there and all three of the acts were fab; queercore Jean Genet, burlesque troupe Scarletine Delight and brilliant comedienne Jessica Delfino. Fab.

Friday, September 14, 2007

Oh Brother!...
My brother Simon and I went out for a quiet beer and chin-wag last night. But the Brothers Green being who we are we soon fell in with the wrong sort (Hi Laura! Hi Richard! Hi Maura!). Drinks were bought, taxis were flagged and before we knew where having heart to hearts and doing tequila shots off the Walkabout in Upper Street. Lordy! Great fun.
Kiki & Herb - Stick the Yule Log in the Shepherd's Bush...

Kiki & Herb - Stick the Yule Log in the Shepherd's Bush. One night only, Weds 19th December at the Shepherds Bush Empire.
[Thanks Kevin]

Thursday, September 13, 2007

My Europe...

Psst! Wanna save some money on mobile phone calls while you're away? O2 (and all the other UK mobile telecom providers) have been forced by the EU to cut their roaming charges. Hurrah I hear you cry. And the savings really are quite substantial. With O2 receiving or making a call used to cost you 99p a minute with Pay&Go when you're away. Now it's just 35p to call and 18p to receive regardless of whether it's a landline. mobile or whatever. Cool. The only catch, if you can call it a catch, is that you have to register first. Simply call 2266 free from your O2 mobile or text MYEUROPE to 21300 for free. My Europe includes the following countries: Austria, Belgium, Bulgaria, Croatia, Cyprus, Czech Republic, Denmark, Estonia, Faeroe Islands, Finland, France, Germany, Greece, Guernsey, Hungary, Ireland, Italy, Isle of Man, Jersey, Liechtenstein, Malta, Monaco, Netherlands, Norway, Romania, Poland, Portugal, San Marino, Slovakia, Slovenia, Spain, Sweden and Switzerland.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Davidson exits after TV gay row...
It's not like anyone was actually watching the show but good riddance you homophobe.
Doctor Who series five not until 2010...
Alerted by the Register is a press release from the BBC: "Doctor Who is one of the BBC's best loved and most successful dramas. Its journey over the past three series has been one of the most ambitious and exciting that we have had, and I'm delighted to be able to confirm not only three exciting specials for 2009, but a fifth series in 2010." Apparently David Tennant won't be in series five - just the specials in 2009.

Monday, September 10, 2007

Martha Reeves and The Vandellas...
On Friday night Stu, Darren, Chris and I went to see Martha Reeves and The Vandellas at the Jazz Cafe. We had a good time rocking and bopping around to (Love Is Like A) Heat Wave, Nowhere to Run, Jimmy Mack and of course Dancing in the Streets but basically it was a triumph of style over substance. Frankly Martha has lost most of the voice she once had. Mind you she was never the #1 vocalist but last night she sounded like Tina Turner with tonsillitis. Still, as I say, we had fun. The stars of the show probably being her Vandellas - two of her sisters Lois and Delphine.

Friday, September 07, 2007

The fun has continued in Spain although now we are ready to come home. We are currently sitting at Barcelona airport staring at a large 'Endarrerit/Retrasado' sign at our gate. Which I'm guessing ain't good news.

We decided to spend the day in Barcelona itself. We got the train to Gracia and walked down to the main square. We rambled down Las Ramblas, wandered around the Royal Square and went up on the roof of the main cathedral. Then we sat on the top deck of a tourist bus and took in the delights of Gaudi's architecture including the Sacra Familia and the parks to the north. Suitably tour guided out we met us with Moo and have coffee and beers in a café and indulged in the favourite Spanish pastime of people watching. We headed back to Sitges early for pizza and bed.

The last day of our holiday we took it easy. A wander down to the beach and a spot of lunch. We bumped into Patrick in El Horno happy hour, had a great steak at Buenos Aires and an early night.

Up at 7am we were packed and at the airport nice and early...

That 'Endarrerit/Retrasado' sign still hasn't shifted so looks like we may be here from some time yet.

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Well, it's been a fun few days in Sitges.

Having recovered from the flight we got a swift taxi to Simon and Paul's place, dropped off our bags and headed out to see Simon in Bears Bar. We saw our German friend Rene on the way. We just stayed for a couple, bumping into Rod, Frank and Jim.

We had a bit of a lie in and then popped out for some posh brekkie at Al Forno Café. We had to leg it to the supermarket to get stocked up with supplies for later (shops in Spain always seem to be just about to close just when you want them to stay open). Then Stu and I went to the nudist beach in town (not that we stripped off you understand being the shy, and let's not forget pale, English boys that we are). We bumped into Marcus who had been there since eleven and settled our newly bought mats and sun brolly next to the lovely Marc, Bernd, Rene and Tomas. We chatted, swam and read our books soaking in the warm sun and equally warm company. Later that evening we decided to both curl up on the sofa with a good bottle of wine rather than undo all that good in a bar crawl.

We got up early, cooked ourselves breakfast and headed to the supermarket to stock up for lunch. In true British style we were planning to cook a big roast on a hot day. So we had a fun afternoon preparing the veg while watching Arsenal thrash Portsmouth. The roast was pretty scrumptious though I say so myself. The girls were coming in from Barcelona later so full of good cheer we headed off to the beach to meet them. Emma, Moo, Georgie, Nerylene, Ping and Meco were all there. We went for lesbian beers and then posh nosh on the front. Stu was particularly taken with the black paella (squid ink, yuck!). We rounded off the lovely evening with a bevy or two in XXL.

Paul had arrived the previous night so after breakfast in Al Forno Café he, Stu and I went for a walk along the front. Down on the gay beach we bumped into Marc, Bernd, Rene, Tomas et al. Later that evening we headed up into the hills to the Germans' gorgeous apartment for a barbecue. We had a great time - they are all such lovely guys and they couldn't have made us feel more welcome.

We had another lie in. It's really hot here and unfortunately Stu hasn't been sleeping too well. Added to this we discovered that Stu is allergic to cats! And Simon and Paul have two very long haired moggies. So we've been dosing him up with antihistamines on top of everything else for the past few days. It's just been nice lots of nothing here actually so lazy days here have been the norm. In the evening we did head out for happy hour at Al Horno though. Rammed into a tight space with gorgeous bears and cheap booze? What's not to like? Back to the apartment for cava sangria we were joined by Marcus before we all went out for Argentinean steaks at Buenos Aires. Lovely.

Saturday, September 01, 2007

Things that go bump in the night...

I hate flying. But a drink before the flight usually helps. And so I had a pint of Stella Artois to relax me before Stu and I jetted off to Sitges last night.

Well, it turns out the only good thing about being at Luton Airport is you get a chance to have a second pint of Stella before the flight to (really) steady the nerves. On this occasion it turned out there were further delays so Ms Artois came to visit a third time too. So as you can imagine I was positively beaming with joy as Stu and I strode towards gate 15 and joined the Speedy Boarding queue for EasyJet flight 2269.

The joy was short lived however. The takeoff was fine as was most of the flight (apart from Little Miss I Can't Stop Talking in the row behind us). No, it was the landing that got me going.

The approach to Barcelona Airport seemed smooth enough as we gently descended. However just as we touched down on the main runway we were all thrown back into your seats as the plane shot forward. The engineers screamed and we soared up into the night sky again.

What we didn't know then, but the captain confirmed a few minutes later, was that there was another plane on the runway and we'd had to perform an emergency takeoff.

Everyone else on the plane just tutted, carried on chatting to their neighbours or continued to read their books and magazines.

I clutched my knees, rocked backwards and forwards and started to cry.

I hate flying.