Quote Of The Day

"Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake - Chessmaster Savielly Grigorievitch Tartakower (1887-1956)"

Friday, May 28, 2004

Dot Game...
Here's a bit of fun for a Friday. Can you click on a plain black dot when you see one? I got stuck on level 3.
Cute Kitten...
The cutest picture of a kitten - ever!
Brain Teasers: The Answers...
1. 42 seconds. Travelling at 180km an hour, the train would take 20 seconds to travel 1km and therefore 40 seconds to travel 2km, plus 2 seconds for the complete train to pass any point, making a total of 42 seconds.

2. 37 and 64

Thursday, May 27, 2004

Brain Teasers...
1. A train takes 2 seconds to enter a tunnel which is 2km long. If the train is travelling at 180km per hour, how long with it take to pass completely through tunnel?

2. When you add two numbers their total is 101. When you compare the numbers their difference is 27. What are the numbers?
Brocket Hall...
I'm having to go away on business today for a couple of nights. It'll be a working trip and will cut right into the Bank Holiday weekend (boo hoo); but I could think of worse places to be than let's say, Brocket Hall. I wonder if I can sneak off to the spa while they're off clay pigeon shooting?

Wednesday, May 26, 2004

Doctor Who Companions...
My favourites were Jo Grant, Sarah Jane Smith, Romana and the oh so sexy Adric.

With William Hartnell (November 23, 1963 - October 29, 1966)
Susan Foreman (Carole Ann Ford) (Seasons 1, 2 )
Barbara Wright (Jacqueline Hill) (Season 1-3)
Ian Chesterton (William Russell) (Seasons 1-3)
Vicki (Maureen O'Brien) (Seasons 2, 3)
Steven Taylor (Peter Purves) (Seasons 2, 3)
Katarina (Adrienne Hill) (Season 3)
Sara Kingom (Jean Marsh). (Season 3)
Dorothea "Dodo" Chaplet (Jackie Lane) (Season 3)
Ben Jackson (Michael Craze) (Seasons 3, 4)
Polly (Anneke Wills), (Seasons 3, 4)

With Patrick Troughton (November 5, 1966 - June 21, 1969)
Ben Jackson (Season 4)
Polly (Season 4)
James Robert "Jamie" McCrimmon (Frazer Hines) (Seasons 5, 6)
Victoria Waterfield (Deborah Watling) (Season 4, 5)
Zoe Herriot (Wendy Padbury) (Season 6)

With Jon Pertwee (January 3, 1970 - June 8, 1974)
Liz Shaw (Caroline John) (Season 7)
Josephine "Jo" Grant (Katy Manning) (Season 8-10)
Sarah Jane Smith (Elizabeth Sladen) (Season 11)

With Tom Baker (December 28, 1974 - March 21, 1981)
Sarah Jane Smith (Season 12-4)
Harry Sullivan (Ian Marter) (Season 12)
Leela (Louise Jameson) (Seasons 14, 15)
K-9 Mark I (voice of John Leeson) (Season 15).
K-9 Mark II (voice of John Leeson [Seasons 16 and 18]), voice of David Brierley [Season 17].)
Romanadvoratrelundar ("Romana") (Mary Tamm [Season 16]; Lalla Ward [Seasons 17, 18])
Adric (Matthew Waterhouse) (Season 18)
Nyssa (Sarah Sutton) (Season 18)
Tegan Jovanka (Janet Fielding) (Season 18)

With Peter Davison (March 21, 1981 - March 16, 1984)
Adric (Season 19)
Nyssa of Traken (Seasons 19, 20)
Tegan Jovanka (Seasons 19-21)
Vislor Turlough (Mark Strickson) (Seasons 20-1)
Perpugilliam "Peri" Brown (Nicola Bryant) (Season 21)
Kamelion (voice of Gerald Flood) (Season 20, 21)

With Colin Baker (March 22, 1984 - December 6, 1986) Perpugilliam "Peri" Brown (Seasons 21-23)
Melanie "Mel" Bush (Bonnie Langford) (Season 23)

With Sylvester McCoy (September 7, 1987 - December 6, 1989)
Melanie "Mel" Bush (Season 24)
"Ace" (Sophie Aldred) alias Dorothy. (Seasons 24-6).

Tuesday, May 25, 2004

Honey To The Beeb...
Mrs Chris Evans and singer of such classics as Because We Want To, Girlfriend, Honey To The Bee and Day And Night is now going to screaming at the top of her lungs a different tune... while being violated by the Menoptra, poor gal. Yes kids, be afraid, be very afraid Billie Piper is new Doctor Who assistant.
Who Ate All The Pies?...
The FA Cup Final on Saturday was a sad game. Sad that Millwall didn't win! Ronaldo did look well fit though when he took his top off after shoring his goal. That is he did look well fit... the photos tell a slightly different story.

This from Kevin: Do you think pretty boy Ronaldo has succumbed to English footballing tradition and had a few too many pies? Roy Keane certainly looks appalled at the "wonderboy"s mid-riff bulge. Let's hope José-Antonio doesn't follow suit.

Monday, May 24, 2004

My Weekend...
What a weekend! Paul's sister Anne and her husband Paul came to stay on Friday. Paul is like The Simpsons' Otto Man in every respect. Needless to say we had a blaaaast, maaan. My head is still spinning.

On Saturday Marky and I went to my sister's engagement party out in Benington in deepest darkest Hertfordshire. Joanna and Martin are tying the knot next year and by way of marking the year's build-up Martin threw a lavish engagement party for a hundred of their nearest and dearest - huge marquee, endless drinks, disco, fully catered food, flowers, fireworks - the lot. It was just a shame is was so cold once the sun went down. It was great fun though and everyone soon warmed up once they started dancing. Roll on the wedding itself.

Sunday was a games afternoon, Adrian and Drew came over to play Nintendo. I'd recently bought a projector and after a rushed trip to Wickes and a spot of painting we had a giant white screen to play Mario Kart: Double Dash with three foot high cars. Way cool.

Thursday, May 20, 2004

Simon, Paul, Charlie, Gordon and I went to see the lusciousness and gorgeousness that is Ilya last night at Hoxton Hall. Think Goldfrapp (circa Felt Mountain) meets Annie Lennox meets Air meets Leslie Garret meets Cleo Layne meets Anastasia and you'd be pretty near the mark.

Cool band. Cool crowd. Watch this space, kids. They're gonna be big(ish).

The video to their single Bellissimo stars our own, our very own... Martin Freeman! a.k.a. Ben's cousin! a.k.a. Tim off of The Office! a.k.a. Arthur Dent in a movie version of The Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy!
Dumber and Dumber...

[Thanks to the lovely Guy for the picture]
Purple Haze...
So Tony Blair has to get his suit cleaned. Yesterday Sky News were showing and reshowing the 'purple haze' footage frame by frame : "This is the precise moment where the Prime Minsiter was almost hit" (fast forward video tape) "This is the precise moment where the Prime Minsiter actually was hit." With footage like that I bet they would have loved it if it'd been something some serious than purple flour.
There is loud singing in the tree above me right now and the sidewalk is littered with dead bodies. Sound bizarre, right? Well this was the description by a botanist as America is hit by storm of insects. What next? Frogs? Slaying of first born?

Wednesday, May 19, 2004

Brain Teasers: Answers...
Fellow bloggers Diamond Geezer and Dave were both right.

1. 23 cards are missing. Making 29 left from the pack of 52. 9s into 29 go 3 leaving 2. 4s into 29 go 7 leaving 1. It was a tough rubber.

2. And that lard arse, Betty, ate 40 doughnuts in her final sitting. 1st sittings 22 x 10 = 220; Overall sittings 30 x 34 = 1020; So 2nd sittings was 1020-220 = 800; Making each sitting 800 / 20 = 40

Tuesday, May 18, 2004

Minipops Quiz (revisited)...
There are lots of adverts on the tube at the moment for the Observer's music coverage. They are using minipops (low res graphics of pop stars) and they are pretty much instantly recognisable. Last year David sent me a minipops quiz, it was then and still is fantastic. See how many you can get. Many more minipops at http://www.flipflopflyin.com/minipops/index.html
Brain Teasers...
1. I have a deck of cards from which some are missing. If I deal them equally between nine people, I have two cards to spare. If I deal them equally between four people, I have only one card to spare. There are normally 52 cards in the deck. How many are missing?

2. At a mass doughnut eating competition Elizabeth eats an average of 22 doughnuts in her first 10 sittings. After a further 20 sittings her average increases to 34 doughnuts. What was her average for her last 20 sittings only.

Monday, May 17, 2004

Roger and I had a fantatsic weekend in Birmingham this weekend; Joseph, Donny Osmond, Joan Collins, Mr Egg, Boots, Simon Pegg, the Fountain, the canal, Harvey Nic's, the Nightingale, the sunshine, Dr Aktins, Eurovision, the new bullring - it was almost like Amsterdam. Almost.

Friday, May 14, 2004

Site Feed...
The more eagle-eyed amongst you may have noticed I've added a site feed to my pages. There's a link on the right-hand side bar. If you use a newsreader please let me know if it works for you and if I've set it up right. The default feed for Blogger seems to be Atom rather than RSS so that's what I'm using at first. But if anyone has any suggestions or knows if I can use both please drop me a line.
Naughty Puppy...

Thursday, May 13, 2004

Arsenal Victory Parade...
This coming Sunday at 10:30am Arsenal football Club will be holding a victory parade starting at the Highbury ground and finishing at Islington Town Hall at about 11:30.

It'll be the usual open top bus and if it's anything like last time round, the route will be packed with screaming fans and there'll be a sea of red as far as the eye can see.

The parade is, of course, to celebrate the winning of the 2003/2004 Premiership title - Arsenal will actually receive the trophy after Saturday's game against Leicester City.

Shame I won't be there as I'll still be in Brum.
My Hero...
Last night Emma, Catherine, Paul, Andrew and I went to our local theatre pub, the Hen and Chickens, to see stand-up comedian Ardal O'Hanlon. Ardal O’Hanlon shot to fame after playing the dim-witted Father Dougal Maguire in the classic sitcom Father Ted. His most successful role to date has been that of Thermoman - alias mild-mannered shopkeeper, George Sunday - in My Hero. Ardal was trying out some new material prior to his nationwide tour. He's a very funny guy.

Wednesday, May 12, 2004

Church of Fools...
Today sees the launch of the Church of Fools - the UK's first web-based, 3D church. No, you didn't misread that. It's an internet church. With avatars and everything. It even has a sanctuary and a crypt. And surprise, surprise, it even has details of how you can donate money (£3 by texting "amen" to 83248).
Better Than I Thought It'd Be...
I bought The Streets's new CD A Grand Don't Come Easy yesterday. I've only listened to it once so far: what I hear I really, really like. The Victoria Line was screwed this morning so I got to listen to the album in full. It's a concept album in that it tells a story - albeit with a rather lame twist at the end. But it is fun, street-witty and rings true. Catch it if you can.
Worse Than I Thought It'd Be...
I bought The Magnetic Fields's new CD i yesterday. I've only listened to it once so far: what I hear I don't really like. Which is a shame because I thought 69 Love Songs was simply perfect. Maybe my expectation was too high. I will, of course, give it a 2nd chance.
Happy Birthday to you...
Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday, dear Simon
Happy Birthday to you

Tuesday, May 11, 2004

I Close My Eyes, Drew Back The Curtain...
Roger and I are going to Birmingham on Friday for 'a boys' weekend away; we get on well, enjoy each others company and travel well together. Oh, and egg each other on.

So what will we be doing in the lovely city of Brum for two whole days (and nights)? Art Galleries? Museums? Architectural tours? Not quite.

Friday night: Sing-A-Long-A Joseph And The Technicolor Dreamcoat A chance to singalong with all the well loved songs in this specially subtitled version of the hit musical starring Donny Osmond. So dress up in your brightest clothes and sing your heart out, Any Dream Will Do..." No, really.

Saturday: Find a trashy bar. And get trashed. And watch the Eurovision Song Contest. Can't wait.

Monday, May 10, 2004

Blogger Makeover...
No doubt powered by Google's money, Blogger has had a complete makeover and it look really cool/Mickey Mouse*

There are one or two features that I'd not seen or used before and I might try some of them out over the next few weeks to see how they work. The RSS feed is one and the Blogger comment system is the other.

(*delete as applicable)
Britain's Greatest Mingers...
Last night Sky One had a show called Britain's Greatest Celebrity Mingers. A show title that had us in fits.

For those of you unaware of the term, UrbanDictionary defines a 'minger' thus: A person, either male or female, who is asthetically un-pleasing to the general public. Someone so appalingly ugly, their appearance can cause gastro-intestinal distress, erectile disfunction and/or vaginal dryness.

I tuned in just to watch the top ten count down - all listed below with Google image links.

10. Lisa Riley
09. Elton John
08. Michael Winner
07. Jordan (Katie Price)
06. Andrew Lloyd-Weber
05. Jade Goody
04. Rik Waller
03. Ann Widdecombe
02. Shane McGowan
01. Mick Hucknall

Saturday, May 08, 2004

Brain Teaser: Answer...
4 remain.
(Twice 4 plus twenty is 28. A seventh of 28 is 4. The 4 that were shot remain, the others flew away).

Friday, May 07, 2004

Brain Teaser...
Twice four and twenty blackbirds

Were sitting in the rain;

I shot and killed a seventh part,

How many did remain?
Most Annoying Star Trek Cliche...
Imitating.... Shatner's... delivery...
Sacrificing the red suits
'I'm a doctor Jim, not a...'
That wretched Scottish accent
Setting phasers to stun
'Make it so'
Time travel plot lines
'Beam me up...'

So go vote at BBspot Poll Home Page. And while you're there why not check out the Most Over Used Star Wars Cliche, the Preferred Starship Control System and many other pointless but rather pleasingly geeky polls.

Thursday, May 06, 2004

Death To Smoochy...
A big, big thank you to Hanko for giving me Death To Smoochy as a gift. You're a star.

The film is hilarious.

Basic plot: When he is fired for taking payola, the host for a children's television show played by Robin Williams, plots revenge against his replacement, a purple rhino named Smoochy played by the gorgeous Edward Norton.

Basically it's a satire on kids TV but with lots of effing and jeffing. And any resemblance between Smoochy The Rhino and Barney The Dinosaur is, of course, completely coincidental.

(You can click the image here for a bigger version)
Bridge of Sighs...
I shouldn't take much glee at Chelsea being knocked out of the European Championship last night at Stamford Bridge. I shouldn't...
Big Gay Out......
EPKAMG (the event formally known as Mardi Gras) which took over from EPKALLGTP (the event formally known as London Lesbian, Gay and Transgenger Pride) which itself took over from EFKAGP (the event formally known as Gay Pride) will now simply be called The Big Gay Out and returns to London’s oh-so-rainy Finsbury Park on Saturday 3rd July this year. £15.00. Hmmm. I expect I'll go. But not making any firm plans just yet.

Wednesday, May 05, 2004

The Guru...
We watched The Guru last night. What a load of inane twaddle. I fell asleep. What's the worst film you've seen recently?
The Best Song Lyric Ever?...
I saw a werewolf with a Chinese menu in his hand, walking through the streets of Soho in the rain. He was looking for the place called Lee Ho Fook's, going to get a big dish of beef chow mein.

Do the recognise the song from these opening lyrics? And even if you don't, is this the best song lyric ever?

Well, according to BBC Radio listeners it is. It pipped Every Day Is Like Sunday by Morrissey, Lynryd Skynryd's Freebird and the Manic Street Preachers' Design For Life to the top spot. Wot? No Steps?

Oh, and in case you don't recognise it, the lyric is Werewolves of London written by Warren Zevon when "fuelled by a little too much vodka". A good song, but the 'best ever'? Nah.

Tuesday, May 04, 2004

Are you the weakest link?...
Thanks to Lorayne for sending me these. Of course I got every single one wrong!

Below are four (4) questions. You have to answer them instantly. You can't take your time, answer all of them immediately.
OK? Let's find out just how clever you really are.


GO!!! (scroll down)

First Question: You are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in?

Scroll down for answer...

Answer: If you answered that you are first, then you are absolutely wrong! If you overtake the second person and you take his place, you are second!

Try not to screw up in the next question. To answer the second question, don't take as much time as you took for the first question.

Second Question: If you overtake the last person in the race, then you are...?

Scroll down for answer...

Answer: If you answered that you are second to last, then you are wrong again. Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST person?!

You're not very good at this are you?

Third Question: Very tricky maths! Note: This must be done in your head only. Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator. Try it.
Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000. Now add 30. Add another 1000. Now add 20 Now add another 1000. Now add 10. What is the total?

Scroll down for answer...

Did you get 5000? The correct answer is actually 4100.

Don't believe it? Check with your calculator! Today is definitely not your day. Maybe you will get the last question right?

Mary's father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini, 4. Nono. What is the name of the fifth daughter?

Scroll down for answer...

Answer: Nunu? NO! Of course not. Her name is Mary. Read the question again.

Saturday, May 01, 2004

Welcome to Europe...

Today ten new countries have joined the European Union. I have listed them below. But can you name their capital cities? Cyprus : Nicosia Czech Rep : Prague Estonia : Tallinn Hungary : Budapest Latvia : Riga Lithuania : Vilnius Malta : Valletta Poland : Warsaw Slovakia : Bratislava Slovenia : Ljubljana [Thanks to Mark for the answers. Which you can get at by a bit of nifty mouse-selecting. My geography is crap!]