Quote Of The Day

"Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake - Chessmaster Savielly Grigorievitch Tartakower (1887-1956)"

Tuesday, August 31, 2004

Back to work...
On Friday afternoon I was having a bit of a crisis at work. A crisis that was entirely in my head probably. I was utterly stressed out. Taking over my boss's job, a co-worker's, doing my own and running a building project was just proving too much. Things had got beyond, and out of, my control. I'd just been working too hard and just needed a break.

So on the spur of the moment at 1pm on Friday afternoon I navigated my way to EasyJet.com, bought myself a (ludicrously expensive) return ticket to Barcelona, popped home for my passport plus a few clothes and I was all set. Sitges was my destination - three days of sleeping, relaxing and being pampered by Paul and Simon.

I'm now back in the UK and feeling 100% better. I just needed to get away and it's done me so much good. I wouldn't say I had early nights exactly (Day One we were up until 6 in the morning) but a change is as good as a rest.

So what have I missed since I've been away? Posh is pregnant again, Radcliffe drops out again, Holmes wins gold again, Dyke hits out at Blair again, Robson's been sacked again and Laura Branigan died in her sleep. Not much then.

Friday, August 27, 2004

Red and Proud...
Darren WardAs many of you may know I have a thing for redheads. So imagine my... er... joy at visiting the site Red and Proud - a celebration of all things redheaded.

Special favourites on the site are the two fully phototastic lists of redhead footballers A-L and redhead footballers M-Z.

Pictured here is a fine example - the rather lovely Darren Ward.

[Thanks to Marky for the link]

[Thanks Rog]

Thursday, August 26, 2004

Welcome to weird world of Zombo.com. Welcome. Welcome. Welcome. Welcome to Zomco.com.
(work-safe but needs sound)
Block Death - A Museum Of Horrors...
An horrific collection of horrors - all made out of Lego! Welcome to Block Death - A Museum Of Horrors. My favourite is Domestic Incidents - Disgraceland.

Wednesday, August 25, 2004

Staff Notice...

[Thanks Rog]
The Weird World of Ofcom...
Jesus fucking Christ! on Hell's Kitchen is a no-no, but Jesus shitting Christ! on Footballers' Wives is OK. Ofcom said: "Research indicates that the combination of strong swearing coupled directly with holy names is found highly offensive by believers."

Tuesday, August 24, 2004

It's A Scream...
Bids anyone?
[Thanks Guy]
Gay Fuel...
How have we lived without this up till now? Gay Fuel
[Thanks to Mark for the link]
“Never Use the Cell Phone While It's Recharging”...
This arrived in my inbox this morning - from our MD of all people.

To: All Staff
Importance: High

Please share the subject reported safety hazard on using the cell phone during recharging.

Dear All, I send this message to make you aware of the danger potential of the commonly used cellular phone. A few days ago, a close relative of mine was recharging his cell phone at home. Just at that time a call came and he attended to that call with the instrument still connected to the mains. After a few seconds electricity flowed into the cell phone unrestrained and the young man was thrown to the ground with a heavy thud. His parents rushed to the room only to find him unconscious, with weak heartbeats and burnt fingers. He was rushed to the nearby hospital, but was pronounced dead on arrival. The Cell phone is a very useful modern invention. However, we must be aware that it can also be an instrument of death.

Laugh? I also most wet myself.

Thursday, August 19, 2004

Never Put Your Picture On The Internet...
Otherwise everyone will have a go. The original picture is at the top - the rest just take the piss. Apologies for slow loading times.

Wednesday, August 18, 2004

Brain Teasers : The answers...
Well done Luca. Well done Geri.

1. Since the ladder will rise with the boat, the water will never cover the rungs.

2. 15 times - 3, 13, 23, 30, 31, 32, 33 (twice), 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 43

Tuesday, August 17, 2004

Things I hate at the moment...
Windows XP SP2
Our neighbour effing and jeffing at his wife at half past 11 last night and the police turning up at 2am
Subbing for both my boss and a co-worker this week
Our cleaner being away so I've got to do my own sodding ironing
Running a building project with precious little thanks
Having to organise an entire office move this week single-handed
Being ill
This shitty weather
Brain Teasers...
1. There is a ladder hanging over the side of a boat in a dock. Ten rungs are showing above the waterline. The rungs are 1 ft apart. If the level of the water rises at 6 inches every minute, how many rungs of the ladder would be covered after 10 minutes?

2. How many times does the digit 3 appear between 1 and 50?

Monday, August 16, 2004

Sunday, August 15, 2004

Sick and tired...
I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. My cold started to come on on Friday and by Saturday it had taken a firm grip and I was bed-ridden. I hate summer colds, they're the worst. And this one is a bad 'un. I've had to spend the whole bloody weekend in bed; canceling plans for coffee, dinner, a barbecue / fancy dress party and birthday drinks (God, I must be ill!). Mark's been an angel though; providing me with bedroom food, drinks and drugs as necessary. Tip: Day Nurse, Night Nurse and zinc make a great combination. As luck would have it I'll probably be feeling well enough to go to work tomorrow. Just. Typical.

Friday, August 13, 2004

I've got a cold (sneeze) and I'm feeling really lousy (cough, cough) and I've taken lots of Day Nurse. So I'm feeling really light headed and crappy jokes are making me laugh (and are about all I can manage at the moment). Feel free to tell me any more to cheer me up.

Groucho Marx: Marry me and I'll never look at another horse

What's a specimen? -> An Italian astronaut

What's a hospice? -> About 1 & half gallons

What do you call an Italian with a rubber toe? -> Roberto

What's green and runs around your garden? -> Your hedge

Thursday, August 12, 2004

Brigton Pride Pictures : My regular family...

Here are some more pictures from last weekend's Brighton Pride. Click on images for bigger versions. [Thanks to David for some of the snaps - especially the final one with Ian with, as David so accurately puts it, his "Hoxton fin"]

Wednesday, August 11, 2004

Brigton Pride Pictures : My adopted family...

Here are some pictures from last weekend's Brighton Pride when I got split up from my friends and was 'adopted'. Click on images for bigger versions. More Pride pix tomorrow. [Thanks to David for some of the snaps]

Tuesday, August 10, 2004

Scary Movie...
Last week The Shining was named the perfect scary movie according to boffins at King's College, London. The formula they used to work this out was:

(es+u+cs+t) squared + s + (tl+f)/2 + (a+dr+fs)/n + sin x - 1

es = escalating music
u = the unknown
cs = chase scenes
t = sense of being trapped
s = shock
tl = true life
f = fantasy
a = character is alone
dr = in the dark
fs = film setting
n = number of people
sin = blood and guts
1 = stereotypes "

Monday, August 09, 2004

A Great Day Out: Brighton Pride...

And what a great day out it was. It was Saturday morning and the trains were overflowing as they left London; expectation was high and we were not to be disappointed. All manner of queens and dykes and poofs and fag-hags and straights and friends and family were descending on Brighton for the day. The day of Brighton Pride. When we got there the weather was scorching, the parade long and disheveled and the park packed. So many people, so many fresh faces, so many men. Just before getting to the park I'd gotten myself separated from buddies Ian, David, Andy, Kevin and Pano only to be adopted by the super-sexy crew: David, Blake, Donald and Andy. My newly adopting parents looked after me in the only way they knew how; copious amounts of alcohol, repeated rides on the bumper-cars and general minkering about in the sunshine. I got numerous texts from Ian and David ("we're by Wild Fruit", "we're sitting under a tree" etc) but making plans was madness in such glorious chaos. In the end we were all reunited for finale of the Dame Edna Experience show in the Revenge Variety tent. DE took the place by storm as she had done last year (much to the other drag queen's thinly-veiled envy!) It was a fitting end to a great Brighton Pride. David and I took the train back to London where I joined Paul and Michelle for a blow-out at Duckie. By 2:30am I was a little worse for wear but got a lovely welcome home from Marky (who I had all but deserted for the day). A great day out, but so nice to be home at last. [I'll hopefully have some pictures later in the week]

Friday, August 06, 2004

12 years...
It's Marky and my anniversary today.

Anniversary's are odd things. Odd because the unspoken word that proceeds them is often assumed to be "wedding". Your wedding anniversary. And I guess for many married people that is exactly what it means. They go out together for a year or two, set a date and then get married. The marriage is the thing that they celebrate once a year. Their wedding anniversary. But for me (and many of my friends both straight and gay) that doesn't quite work out.

Many couples that I know are not married - either because they are gay couples or just because they just choose not to marry. So what anniversary do they choose to celebrate? For example, our GLA partnership registration was nearly 10 years after we started dating so it doesn't seem to really reflect the time we have spent together.

Some married friends of mine have a been together far longer than they have actually been married. They lived together you years and got married to have kids. So when should they celebrate their anniversary?

I guess it's a matter of choice. Arbitrary, even. Pick a date that you both agree is a significant date. The first time your eyes met across a crowded room. A first dinner date. A first chaste kiss. The day you moved in together.

Well, Marky and my anniversary is perhaps a little more... er... carnal.

It was on our first anniversary that I was chatting to my mother on the phone. The subject came up that Marky and I were going out for a romantic meal for two to celebrate our anniversary. "Anniversary of what?", my mother asked. I paused perhaps a little too long. "Oh", she said. I could feel her cheeks flushing 35 miles away in Welwyn as it dawned on her. Sons can be so cruel.
What To Be Millionaire?...
A woman answered the following six questions live on air and won £1,000,000. Do you know the answers too?

1. What is the most expensive property in the UK edition of the board game Monopoly? - Mayfair
2. Nigel Kennedy is famous for playing which instrument? - Violin
3. Which boxer was defeated by Danny Williams in Louisville at the weekend? - Mike Tyson
4. What is the name of Europe's highest active volcano? - Mount Etna
5. Smiley's People and Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy are novels by which author? - John Le Carre
6. What was the maiden name of the former first lady Jacqueline Kennedy? - Bouvier

The answers are 'hidden' at the end of each line

Thursday, August 05, 2004

Misguided Star...
Early editions of today's The Daily Star newspaper run with four pages (with photos) of Shell being evicted from the Big Brother house: Shell has become the latest to be evicted from the Big Brother house after receiving the least number of votes from viewers. At 9pm last night Shell was called to the diary room where a secret side door waited for her. She was told she had to leave immediately in a shock eviction, without the chance of saying goodbye to the four remaining housemates. The four who remain are Nadia, Stuart, Jason and Daniel.

Only it never happened. It was Stuart who was evicted last night. Opps. I bet there are a few people with egg on their faces at Ludgate House this morning. Hastily compiled later editions corrected the mistake.

Newspapers, eh? They just make it up.
Revenge : Photo #4...

Wednesday, August 04, 2004

Last night Ben, Sarah, Mark, Paul and I went to see Air perform at the Royal Festival Hall. Great gig. Bit hot. Fab lights. Big sound. Very big sound. Bit prog rock, though. Rick Wakeman wouldn't have felt out of places. Or Peter Gabriel. Set The Controls For The Heart Of The Sun, eh boys?
Power Cut...
There was an electrical storm over central London yesterday afternoon. Quite a few tube stations were flooded and there was major disruption on the tube network. And at 5pm there was power cut in most of Mayfair that continued until well after midnight. Naturally everything went off at work. So guess who was in at 6am this morning powering everything back up again?
Revenge : Photo #3...

Tuesday, August 03, 2004

Brighton Pride - Google Images...

It's Brighton Pride this Saturday 7th August. That big annual outing to the seaside for we Londoners. Should be a lot of fun. Now if you put Brighton into Google and check out their images... you can see Ian and me in Brighton 2002! Ah, happy days. It was raining rather hard as I remember. How else can we explain dearest Ian looking like a drowned rat!
Revenge : Photo #2...

Monday, August 02, 2004

Soho Pride...
Yesterday was Soho Pride in sunny London town. 100,000 odd poofs flooded the West End for one big street party. It was great fun and a chance to bump into a few names and faces from the past. Highlight for me was the girl at the Lube Up stall. She happened to mention that the lube she was selling was actually edible and amazingly, low carb. Low carb?! You mean Atkins-friendly? Moments later I was helping her shout out the fact to any passing punters who looked like they were in need of lubrication. We sold loads.

I spent most of my time outside Comptons though with names too many to mention. The laughter came and the beers flowed. And flowed. A great day out. I was planning to be home by 9. Was.

My better judgment took a flying jump when at 8:30 I got a call from the lovely Bobby (Pete's boyfriend) saying "Come to the RVT! We're on the grass" - how could I resist, especially from one so sweet? Ian and I jumped in a cab and when I got there David, Bobby and Pete were true to their word, perched atop the grassy knoll. Sitting right beside David and Roberto. We chatted and later danced the remains of the night away. Well, it should have been the remains of the night. Somehow I ended up in Horsemeat Disco too. Deary me. When someone asked me if I was OK as I looked a bit trashed I knew it was time to leave. Now that tube journey home was a blur I can tell you.
Revenge : Photos #1...