Fascinating Aida...

Last night Paul treated me to a night out in Stevenage's glitzy Gordon Craig Theatre to see the rather wonderful Fascinating Aida in concert.

Paul and I have been fans of FA for over twenty years and the girls haven't lost any of their charm. It was a riotous evening from the queens of topical satire, cabaret and musicality mirth. Their songs are at times witty, coarse and thought provoking; B celebrities, the nanny state, political hypocrisy and sex are favourite topics. Long may their reign. Here are some more snaps I took that evening.

Best new song: The Markets (a Gilbert and Sullivanesque romp through derivatives, hedge funds and arbitrage.)

Here is one of their songs as performed at Edinburgh last year.

Shoe-rage...

Grief's a funny old thing. My shoe was really hurting on the way home from work tonight and so I took it off and threw it across the street. I had to hobble home in a sock. The shoe-rage was I'm sure related to the news that my uncle died earlier today. When I heard the sad news about my uncle it didn't make me cry at first. But losing the shoe did. Transference I guess.

Disney Reject...

"

Women do not do any of the creative work in connection with preparing the cartoons for the screen, as that work is performed entirely by young men. For this reason girls are not considered for the training school."

How mean. Although when you look near the signature at the bottom of the rejection letter from Walt Disney Productions 'mean' doesn't even begin to cover it!

Your Starter For Ten...

The BBC has disqualified the winners of University Challenge for breaking the rules by using a contestant who was no longer a student. Tsk, tsk. I do love that programme though. Maybe this will increase the audience next time round and help secure it's commission for the future.

Tilt-shifting...

Fancy doing a bit of tilt-shifting? Tilt-shifting is a simple modification of a photo to make the person in it look like a 'model' with a bit of blurring and ramping up the saturation. The trick is to either use a special camera, some paid-for photo-editing software or (even more simply) this handy, miniature free online tool called tiltshiftmaker.

The effect is subtle but affective. The one of the left is the BEFORE. The one on the right is the AFTER.

Arsenal 0-0 Fulham...

Paul and I went to the Grove on Saturday. What a dire performance we put up against Fulham? Our hopes of qualifying for the Champions League were dealt another severe blow with our fifth successive league draw.

BBC Loves U2...

Can the BBC licence payer be expecting to share in some of the profits from U2's new LP? What with all this free, blanket, uncritical promotion they are receiving across all the BBC brands this last week; BBC1, BBC2, Radio 1, Radio 2, BBC News, news.bbc.co.uk etc. I do like U2 - or I did! The supersaturation by the BBC is making me review that.

I love the BBC - or more accurately, I love many of the programs they make. It's just that some of the current custodians of that wonderful organisation seem to like shooting themselves in the foot.

This isn't an issue of self-censorship or running scared of the The Daily Mail. It's just plainly a wrong call. How can wall-to-wall U2 promotion on a public service broadcaster such as the BBC not be seen as advertising?

Mayflower…

On Sunday Andy and Kev came round to see Stu’s place and we headed off to the Mayflower pub on the Thames for a spot of posh Sunday lunch. The food was excellent, the wine flowed and we swapped stories, picked the boys’ brains about Cuba and general had a good old chin wag. Not wanting the afternoon to end we moved up river a bit to the Angel pub when we settled in for the rest of the afternoon and what turned out to be most of the night. Great views, great company and some filthy stories. A lovely day out. More snaps here.

Jonny’s 40th…

Last Saturday Stu, Jo and I headed to Shepherd’s Bush to help Jonny celebrate his fortieth birthday. We had a rare old time – me being introduced to some of Stu's work colleagues and many of Jonny’s friends. This is one of the snaps I took and here are some others.

Plague Over England…

Last Friday Stu and I ventured to the Duchess Theatre in London’s glitzy West End to see Plague Over England. Written by Evening Standard theatre critic Nicholas de Jongh, it tells the story of Sir John Gielgud’s arrest for importuning for immoral purposes (cottaging) back in 1953. Facing personal and professional ruin after the story is splashed across the national press the story wittily recounted by de Jongh explores the court case, the theatre-going public’s reaction, the institutional homophobia of the time, the occasional self-loathing of mid-century homosexuals and ultimately how Gay Lib affected the lives of all homosexuals twenty years later in 1973. It’s funny, sexy and well worth seeing. 4 stars.

Arsenal 1-0 Roma...

Paul and I watched a frustrating night of football at the Grove last night but also a rewarding one. We missed many, many chances - too many really, especially in the second half. But the result, coming from Robin van Persie's penalty in the first half, seemed appropriate. This was the first leg of our Champions League battle with Roma. Stadio Olimpico here we come.

No Injection Necessary...

I am now the owner of one matt white filling. I'm really happy it's all over. But I have to say, it wasn't such a big deal. I had butterflies in my stomach on the way to the dentist and was really very nervous sitting in the waiting room. But once I got in to the dentist's chair it was fine. She put my mind at rest and gave me the option of an injection to kill the pain or not. I decided against that. I didn't really want to have a numb mouth for three hours and I don't mind a little pain. So it was just me, the dentist and the drill. I watched her write NIN in my notes. "No Injection Necessary".

The dentist did say that if I started to feel any pain during the drilling I should raise my hand. I joked, "what? raise my hand as a fist and punch you in the face?" I laughed. She laughed. But not as convincingly as I did.

Five minutes later it was all over. I'd been drilled out, stuffed with some white stuff and had ultraviolet shone in my gob to make it harden. It took a few more sessions to file the filling down to the correct level though. But fifteen minutes after walking into the dentist's surgery I was walking out again. Job done.

And you know what? I might even go back for another check-up in six months. Heavens. That'd be *two* check-ups in thirty-one years. My mother will be pleased.

Now Spit!...

I'm doing something later today that I've never done before. Or to be more accurate I'm having something done to me that I've never had done to me before. I'm having my first filling. Yes, after forty-seven years I'm going under the dentist's drill. I really don't know what to expect either when I get there. People have such horror stories of going to dentists. But not me. I've been so rarely - only once in thirty-one years - I don't really have any deep rooted (fnah!) fears to draw on. I'm not exactly expecting fluffy pink cushions and a warm head rub but do you think it'll be like Steve Martin's sadistic dentist Orin Scrivello in Little Shop Of Horrors? I shall find out later this afternoon.

Arsenal 0-0 Sunderland...

What a crap match it was on Saturday. Sure it was great to witness Andrey Arshavin's debut - and don't get me wrong, he looks like a real star - but the game was frustrating in the extreme. We just couldn't score. The hopes of a Champions League place are fading fast.

Your Disco Needs Hula Hoops...

At Duckie on Saturday night was a fantastically camp hula hoop act. Here are the last few moments to give you a flavour.

Pet Shop Boys at The Brits...

So it's congratulations to the Pet Shop Boys for their well deserved Outstanding Contribution To Music Award at The Brits. They played a 'Pet Shop Boys on 45' mix of Suburbia, Love etc., Left To My Own Devices, Always On My Mind, Go West, What Have I done To Deserve This? (with Lady Ga Ga), Domino Dancing, I'm With Stupid, Being Boring, It's A Sin (with Brendan Flowers), All Over The World and finally West End Girls (Lady Ga Ga and Brendon Flowers). Well done Boys.

And they are on tour (pre-sale here)!

When A Bird Breaks A Blade In A Jet Engine...

One of the many reasons I don't like flying; start jet engine, insert dead bird and stand well back.

Arsenal 4-0 Cardiff...

It was a rough night at the Grove last night for our FA Cup fourth-round replay. Not the football, mind you. That was fine. On the pitch Eduardo scored a couple just under a year since breaking his leg and Bendter and van Persie made the total four. So it was a convincing win against a rather crap Cardiff City.

No, the roughness was outside the ground. I counted eight police vans, six snarling police dogs with handlers, a circling helicopter and wave after wave of riot police. And that was just on my particular route away from the ground. Goodness only knows how many there were in all the other directions.

Duckie @ Bexhill On Sea...

Last Friday Simon, Paul, Stuart and I went down to stay with Charlie in St Leonards on the south coast. Charlie had organised tickets for us to go to Duckie's 13th birthday bash at the De La Warr Building at Bexhill On Sea and was letting us stay. Charlie was a brilliant host - so much so that Stuart and I stayed on until the Sunday.

Duckie was great fun; six hours of Amy Lame, Miss High Kick, a fire eater, a local opera singer, dancers, a hula hooping sailor, the Readers Wives spinning the tunes and much else besides - all the usual nonsense that we know and love.

Below are some of the snaps I took from the weekend. You can see many more by clicking here.

Spotify...

I love Spotify. It doesn't have the biggest range of music ever but it's still quite big. And it's free if you don't mind an advert every 30 mins or so. The sound quality is pretty good and it's very responsive. Faster than playing a locally stored track on iTunes I'd say. Great if you want to listen to that one track without actually buying it. Kind of like our own radio on last.fm.

Microsoft Tag...

So this is mobile tagging with Microsoft Tag. You take a picture with your iPhone say. It decodes the symbols and takes you to a URL. This tag take you to this site.

Here's the blurb: Microsoft Tag creates unlimited possibilities for making interactive communications an instant, entertaining part of life. They tranform physical media (print advertising, billboards,product packages, information signs, in-store merchandising, or even video images)—into live links for accessing information and entertainment online. With the Microsoft Tag application, just aim your camera phone at a Tag and instantly access mobile content, videos, music, contact information, maps, social networks, promotions, and more. Nothing to type, no browsers to launch!

Get it at http://gettag.mobi/.

Entertaining Mr Sloane...

Last night Stuart and I went to see Entertaining Mr Sloane at the Trafalgar Studios in London's glitzy Whitehall.

It starred Imelda Staunton as the sex starved sister Kath, Simon Paisley Day as the gay brother and Mathew Horne as the eponymous bisexual anti-hero Mr Sloane.

Originally staged way back in 1964, Joe Orton’s wickedly biting comedy sparked controversy at the time with its mischievous peep at the hypocrisy behind the new permissive society of the 1960’s and the British fascination with sex. And it hasn't lost any of it's comic value. We laughed like drains.

Horne was a tad miscast although the savagely sexual Staunton and 'liberal' Day were excellent.

Best line: "It's what is called a dilemma, boy", Ed explains, "and you are on the horns of it."

Code...

 

To keep anonymous happy...

1. New PSB single "Love etc." is 'quite good' to quote a Popjustice phrase.
2. New Torchwood trailer less good.
3. Girls Aloud song is tepid at best.

Star Trek Communicator...

Trekkies, to the bridge! Gadgeteers Dream Cheeky have come up with a VoIP/Skype speakerphone that looks exactly like a Star Trek Communicator.

It uses Bluetooth and will be launched to coincide with the arrival of the new movie.

I want one!

Tottenham 0-0 Arsenal...

He had has to go.

Stephen Hawking...

He was one of my tutors at university. And now true fame at last: being immortalised in Lego.

Just Can't Get Enough...

British-Irish girl group The Saturdays will be releasing a cover of Just Can't Get Enough (the Depeche Mode song written by Vince Clarke) as their fourth single. It will be the official single for Comic Relief 2009, with the proceeds being donated to the charity.

Sunset Boulevard...

Last night Stu and I went to see the Watermill Theatre's diminuitive production of Sunset Boulevard at the Comedy Theatre in London glitzy West End. Sunset Boulevard is a musical with book and lyrics by Don Black and Christopher Hampton and music by Andrew Lloyd Webber. Based on the 1950 Sunset Boulevard film, the plot revolves around Norma Desmond, a faded star of the silent screen era, living in the past in her decaying mansion on the fabled Los Angeles street. When young screenwriter Joe Gillis accidentally crosses her path, she sees in him an opportunity to make her comeback to the big screen. Romance and tragedy follow. The production uses a brilliant cast who simutaneously act, play musical instruments, sing and dance. An amazing feat which is carried off with much skill. The Olivier Award nods are well deserved. Last night Norma was played by Kathryn Evans (wife of Doctor Who and Blue Peter's Peter Purvis) and she was a revelation. Dramatic, musical and with the grace of a ballerina she pretty much stole every scene she was in. If you get a chance, go see.

Charles Darwin and the Tree of Life...

And on the eighth day, God created Charles Darwin, and behold, he was good. And God said, go forth Charles, be fruitful and multiply, and study the beasts of the earth and the fish of the sea and the fowl of the air. So Charles went forth, was fruitful and multiplied. And he studied the fish of the sea and the fowl of the air and every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth. And then, when his work was done, he returned to his creator ... and only went and killed him. Patricide, I believe it's called.
[Sam Wollaston : Last Night's TV: The Guardian]

Andrei Arshavin...

Andrei Arshavin, or Arse Shovin' as no doubt he will be nicknamed, has finally joined the Gunners.

He'll be sporting the old 23 shirt previously worn by Sol Campbell. Good luck, mate-ski.

We have high expectations of you.

I wonder if Wenger will play you against the Spuds on Sunday or whether he'll wait until Cardiff on Monday week...

Dame Edna Experience...

 

Snow...

 

Arsenal 0-0 West Ham...

Paul and I froze our nuts off at The Grove on Saturday afternoon. It was a dire performance. Our boys had most of the possession but in the end couldn't make it count. So our Champions League hopes suffered yet another dent.

Can You Pass The 11+?...

Try answering questions from a 1976 paper aimed at 11-year-olds. You have ten minutes to answer fifteen questions. I got all of them right but with just 90 secs to spare!

Microsoft's Songsmith...

Arggggh!!!! Kill me! Cut my ears off! Poke my eyes out! Microsoft's Songsmith has arrived. "Songsmith generates musical accompaniment to match a singer’s voice. Just choose a musical style, sing into your PC’s microphone, and Songsmith will create backing music for you."

See the car crash that is the Microsoft Songsmith Commercial here!

Yes, you too can murder the classics! Marvel at Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band by The Beatles! Roxanne by The Police! Wonderwall by Oasis!

And more here.

Grace Jones...

Last night Darren, Mark, Stu and I went to see the star that is Grace Jones burn brightly at the Roundhouse in London's salubrious Chalk Farm. She was magnificent.

The usual twenty-five minutes late, she descended to the stage on a large extensible platform. Bathed in a deep shade of blue the audience gave her a rapturous reception. She then belted out Nightclubbing and the place went wild.

Over the next hour and forty minutes she plundered her back catalog, her new album Hurricane (oddly with the exception of Corporate Cannibal) and our hearts. Every song welcomed a change of lighting, a change of costume and a change of Philip Treacy. It was a bit like a West End show where, "tonight the role of the diva will be played by Miss Grace Jones."

She was exceptionally well behaved too. No tantrums. Although towards the end she was perhaps tiring a bit and rather muddled the words to La Vie En Rose. Still we can forgive here that. She was a star the whole night through. A brilliant star. A brilliant show.

Best bit: The encore. She sang the title track of her new album Hurricane across the stage into a hurricane fan with full-on special effects, lighting, debris and flowing costume blown horizontal by the wind. Marvellous.

Help Desk...

 

In My Day...

My gran said to me, "Young men of today just aren't as polite and charming as they were when I was young".

I had to explain, "That's because they aren't trying to fuck you now, gran."

Three figures in white dresses comb back their long hair, revealing their faces. It is like watching curtains slowly part on lives that have been hidden away from view.

Last night Andrew organised tickets for Tim, Stuart and me to go and see The Idiot Colony at the ICA in London's wet and rainy West End.

The Idiot Colony is a damning indictment of the system which branded hundreds of women in the 1940s and 1950s 'moral defectives' for grievous crimes like homosexuality or having a baby as a result of childhood rape. These women were locked away in institutions on the say so of a single relative and the signature of two GPs.

Set in the hospital's hairdressing salon in the 1980s The Idiot Colony tells three such stories through flashback. The three women are now much older and in between listening to Rick Astley and the Birdie Song they remember the terrible events that caused them to be incarcerated. It is at times moving, at times funny but ultimately the horror comes from the mundanity.

Great show.

Colonel Mustard...

I have a confession to make. I love condiments. Mustard in particular. My eyes start to water... my palate stings.. my nasal passages become inflamed...

In my fridge I currently have twenty or so different bottles, tubs and jars of the stuff. Not only do I like mustard as a condiment to have with meat, vegetables or in sandwiches but also as an ingredient in cooking. Mustard roast, mustard mash and mustard salad dressing are all favourites.

I've loved every mustard I've come across so far in fact; Dijon mustard, English mustard, wholegrain mustard, honey mustard, French mustard, American mustard, hundred's of favoured mustards, horseradish mustard, beer mustard... The list goes on.

My favourite mustard though is an eleven spice French vinegar mustard known as Savora. I have been known to travel back from France with a dozen jars of the stuff. Luckily they sell it in Sainsbury's now (albeit under the Colemans brand and at greatly inflated prices). Amazon.com have started to sell it. I wonder if amazon.co.uk will follow suit?

When we went to Nice a few years back I had the cheek to take some Savora to a restaurant. Another diner saw me put some on my plate and asked if she could have some too. Before we knew where we were half a dozen tables had used it - much to the restaurant owner's dismay. Spread the love, that's what I say.

Dream Casserole...

A short ninety second clip of a dream casserole nightmare. I have nightmares like this too. Fab. (better with sound and it is work safe).

Sign Your Name...

I studied British Sign Language for a couple of years back in the early 1990s and still can hold a half decent conversation with various deaf or partially hearing friends. As some of you may know, if you're around deaf people a fair amount you will get a sign language nickname - it's a necessity to avoid spelling your name out every time you're mentioned. Thing is, you don't get to choose your own sign name. And boy did we know some funny ones; "Big nose", "Neil/Knee" "Dutch", "Bouncer", "Hearing Aid", "Squinty", "Old". Some seemed generic but we all knew who we were referring to. Sign names don't have to be unique just like "Dave" or "Steve" aren't.

Mine is a sort of "grin while shaking your crocked thumb and index finger tips in front of your teeth". Roughly translated it means "ha ha" or "grins a lot".

My nickname at school was also "grinner". Or to be more exact "grinner minimus" as my older brother was at the same school and he was a "grinner" too.

Funny how names stick.

Milk...

Stu and I saw Milk on Saturday. Sean Penn was excellent. It didn't really tell us much more than we knew already from documentary films like The Times Of Harvey Milk but it was so good to see the real events portrayed as a drama. All the key scenes have been recreated but the story has been made more vivid, sadder even and ultimately more inspiring. Milk was an imperfect man, sure, but then aren't all good leaders? They need that spark of ambition, that desire to do good and the clearness of sight to see an injustice.

Milk was a very sexual man in real life of course. And that being the 1970s there was lots of it around. I sometimes wonder how much that influenced his political drive. He really only came out of himself sexually when he turned forty, moved to San Francisco and grew his hair. With this new liberty came the discovery of his political side. This made him realise what the emerging gay community had to offer the out gay man and the economic power it could wield to protect itself. A politician was born. The first and perhaps best proof that a gay man could be himself and succeed. Albeit on the 4th time of trying!

Go see.

Windows 7...

For 'fun' I downloaded and installed Microsoft's much trumpeted Windows 7 beta last week. I installed it on a home PC and also (rather rashly according to my colleagues) on my work PC too. I find Vista a pain in the arse and this was a bit of a last ditch attempt with Micky Mouse Windows before deciding if I should move back to Windows XP or indeed persevere with my recent flirting with Linux.

And do you know what? I was pleasantly surprised. On my home PC Windows 7 is faster than Vista. It seems to do everything I'd want of it and those annoying UCE pop-ups seem to be all but banished.

On my work PC the upgrade was also painless and most things seem way snappier. My performance Index is 5.9 rather than 5.0 and the only slight gripe I have with it is that I have to run anti-virus software AVG (as I do at home) rather than the corporate imperative McAfee but no doubt that will get resolved soon.

So first impressions are good. It's so the operating system Vista should have been.

Pilot hailed for 'Hudson miracle'...

The pilot of an airliner that ditched in New York's Hudson River has been hailed a hero after all 155 passengers and crew were rescued. And you know what? It doesn't make me feel any safer about flying.

F***king Men...

Last night Stu, Mark, Hudd and I went to the Kings Head Theatre in vibrant Upper Street to see a new gay play called F***king Men. Actually I think it was called Fucking Men but the posters were being a little coy.

It was an American story introducing us to the (sex)lives of ten gay men who were all related to each other by sex. A met B, B met C, C met D... ... I met J and J met A to complete the circle. We had a rent boy, a soldier, a teacher, a student, two guys in a relationship (one of whom was a banker), a porn star, a playwright, a movie star and a TV interviewer.

The play was sexy, mildly insightful, risque but never coarse. Oh, and very funny. The mainly gay audience seemed to find themselves reflected up on the stage in numerous scenes.

Best bit: the plainly autobiographical playwright talking about his own gay play.

Nice to go see a gay play which a) is funny, and b) the characters weren't punished for having sex.

Silent Fart...

An old lady turns to her husband at party. "Oh dear", she says, "I seem to have let out a silent fart. What should I do?"

Her husband replies, "Get a new battery for your hearing aid".

The chalice from the palace has the brew that is true...

We watched The Court Jester (1956) on telly the other day. I'd forgotten just how funny it is.

Hubert Hawkins - "I don't want the vessel with the pestle, I want the chalice from the... what?"'
Maid Jean - "The chalice from the palace."
Griselda - "Its a little crystal chalice with a figure of a palace."
Hawkins - "Does the chalice from the palace have the pellet with the poison?"
Griselda - "No, the pellet with the poison is in the vessel with the pestle."
Hawkins - "The pestle with the vessel?"
Jean - "The vessel with the pestle."
Hawkins - "What about the palace from the chalice?"
Griselda - "Not the palace from the chalice, the chalice from the palace!"
Hawkins - "Where's the pellet with the poison?"
Griselda - "In the vessel with the pestle!"
Jean - "Don't you see? The pellet with the poison is in the vessel with the pestle, the chalice from the palace has the brew that is true. It's so easy, I can say it!"
Hawkins - "Well, then you fight him!"

I Love Lloyds TSB...

I love Lloyds TSB. Why (you may ask)? Aren't they one of those slimy banks that we now all own part of? And of course you'd be right. But what have they done to make me break out in this unusual rash of good will towards them?

Well, not only have they yet again cut my mortgage interest payments following the latest Bank Of England interest rate 0.5% cut but I just had a great chat with their insurance people. The reason for my call was that my annual home contents and buildings insurance is up for renewal this month and I needed to let them now that I how have an extra bedroom and bathroom to insure; my new loft conversion. So I was expecting a big jump in my premium. Instead they said that they'd keep it at the same amount as last year. Something about "no increase in square footage" and "maintaining it's multiple use". Fab.

Arsenal 1-0 Bolton...

It was truely freezing at the Emirates yesterday afternoon when our boys took on the increasingly dire Trotters. A fairly hum-drum performance from us wasn't helped by their deep defending. Still, Bendtner did manage to slot one in so we got our much needed three points. Let's hope Europe doesn't drift beyond our reach.

Brian Gittins: Roadside Cafe Owner...

Ben came over last night and we went out for a beer, a bite to eat and to see some stand-up comedy; Brian Gittins: Roadside Cafe Owner at the Hen and Chickens

Here's the spiel: "My name's Brian Dennis Gittins and I run a roadside cafe near Pyecombe. I've been winging it on the circuit for a year or so now, since some of the cafe regulars said I was "quite funny". Anyway, I've done some gigs with Ricky Gervais recently so I can deal with up to one thousand heckles per night. And if it all goes tits up, my mate Angelos Eppethemiu (who does my gutters) will do some magic for ya."

Also on the bill was Tim Key - a comic poet with a nice line in acerbic wit.

Very funny.

Edward Scissorhands...

Last night Stu and I went to see Matthew Bourne's Edward Scissorhands at the Sadler's Wells in downtown Islington.

The story tells of a man named Edward, an unfinished creation, who has scissors for hands. Edward is taken in by a suburban family and falls in love with their teenage daughter.

We'd seen Bourne's The Car Man, Swan Lake and most recently Dorian Gray and were mightily impressed so our expectations were pretty high.

Sadly things weren't quite as good as we'd hoped. It told the story well enough. And what a sweet story it is? Sure, it looked good, especially the set design. And 'lovely lighting' as Andy would say. But there just wasn't enough dancing in it. A fundamental requirement of a dance production I'd say.

Now this was partly due to the fact that Bourne's production stuck so doggedly to the Edward Scissorhands film plot (fair enough). But having a lead whose hands are quite literally scissors inevitably means you can't really hold hands (or indeed even use your hands to do lifts) in any of the romantic dancing duo sequences. At one point, out of frustration I imagine, Bourne actually sidesteps this issue completely and has a dream sequence where Edward doesn't have scissor hands at all but has real hands so he can present us with a more creative dance (with proper lifts).

Having said all that, we did enjoy it. The cast were full of energy and the performances were at times both touching and comic.

The best part of the production? The dancing topiary in the afore mentioned dream sequence.

Apple Introduces Revolutionary New Laptop With No Keyboard...

[Thanks Mark]

Let's Prog!...

Way back in the late 1960s/early 1970s when I was not much older than a nipper I started to listen to my brother and sister's records (not being able to afford many of my own). So from an early age I was heavily influenced by a type of music that was frankly beyond my years; progressive rock. Prog rock (as it was known) became wildly successful throughout the early 1970s and throughout that time was my 'dirty little secret' while I was listening to ABBA and disco. Sadly prog had a rapid decline when punk rock came along in 1976/77.

Over the past week or so BBC Four has been broadcasting a number of programmes about prog rock which have brought back many fond memories from my childhood and teenage years. Last night's live recording of Tubular Bells all but brought me to tears.

For a bit of fun I thought I'd list some of my favourite prog rock tracks/albums (in no particular order);

The Nice - America
The Moody Blues - Question
Jethro Tull - Witches Promise
Wishbone Ash - Vas Dis
Yes - Yours Is No Disgrace / Close To The Edge
Emerson, Lake and Palmer - Picture At An Exhibition / Fanfare For The Common Man
The Crazy World Of Arthur Brown - Fire
Camel - Moonmadness
Caravan - The Dog, The Dog He's At It Aagin
Soft Machine - Fanfare All White
Procol Harum - A Whiter Shade Of Pale
King Crimson - Cat Food
The Who - anything from Tommy
The Byrds - Eight Miles High
Pink Floyd - Piper At The Gates Of Dawn / Interstellar Overdrive / Saucer Full Of Secrets
Atomic Rooster - Tomorrow Night
Deep Purple - Hush / Smoke On The Water
Traffic - The Low Spark Of The High Heeled Boys
Family - In My Own Time
Genesis - I Know What I Like / Selling England By The Pound / Lamb Lies Down On Broadway
Egg - Bulb
Gong - Flying Teapot
Supertramp - Rudy / School
Tangerine Dream - Sorcerer
Queen - Seven Seas Of Rhye
Mike Oldfield - Tubular Bells
ELO - Mr Blue Sky
Rush - The Spirit Of Radio
Focus - Hocus Pocus / Sylvia

Ah, memories.

An Exclusive Chat With Matt Smith...

The BBC Doctor Who web site has an 'exclusive' chat with Matt Smith - the new Doctor Who. Much of it was screened in Doctor Confidential last Saturday on BBC One but this is the full interveiw.

Darren and Mark..

We had a really lovely Sunday roast at Darren and Mark's place yesterday. We were having such a good time we completely lost track of time and ended up staying until 10pm. The sign of good hosts! Thanks guys.

Arsenal 3-1 Plymouth...

It was bloody freezing at the Emirates Stadium on Saturday afternoon but Paul and I braved the elements to watch our brave soldiers trample all over Plymouth Argyle in the third round of the FA Cup. They held us quite successfully in the first half but the floodgates opened in the second. Big up to Nasri and Gallas for their sterling work at motivating the team and to captain Robin van Persie for his two goals.

The 'new' Doctor Who...

So now we know. The eleventh Doctor Who will be Matt Smith. He's worked with Billie Piper (Rose) three times before; in The Ruby In The Smoke, The Shadow in the North and also the first season of The Secret Diary of a Call Girl. He was also in In Bruges.

The TV Doctors Who to date have been:
1. William Hartnell (1963-1966)
2. Patrick Troughton (1966-1969)
3. Jon Pertwee (1970-1974)
4. Tom Baker (1974-1981)
5. Peter Davison - pictured (1982-1984)
6. Colin Baker (1984-1986)
7. Sylvester McCoy (1987-1996)
8. Paul McGann (1996)
9. Christopher Eccleston (2005)
10. David Tennant (2005-2010)
11. Matt Smith (2010 - ?)

Boxing Day in Welwyn...

On Boxing Day Stuart and I went to stay with my folks for a few days. It was a really nice relaxing time. And on the Satruday we went for a walk through the marsh and into the village. It bought back wonderful memories of my childhood and teenage years; working in the local pub, the local bakery, singing in the church... ah, happy days.

Click here for more pix and a closer look

Andrew and Tim's Party...

On Monday night Stuart and I went to Andrew and Tim's party down in Brockley. As at their summer party all the their lovely and gorgeous friends were there. Being a school night we didn't stay too late. Well, midnight.

Click here for more pix and a closer look.

Christmas Eve Drinks at the Welly...

On Christmas Eve we went down to the Wellington in Soho for a few bevvies to celebrate the Yuletide. We had a great time; arriving early and leaving early. After all, we didn't want to miss Santa.

Right Angle...

Do you know a right angle when you see one? Can you tell if something is square or not? Why not try this fab little angles game.

Arsenal 1-0 Portsmouth...

It was a freezing afternoon at the Emirates as we took on Portsmouth. And it was pretty flat game too. Luckily Paul had managed to magic up a hip flask so with a drop or two of rum inside us things looked somewhat rosier. Luckily Gallas managed to rustle us up a goal. But we didn't really deserve it.

Doctor Who: The Next Doctor...

"Christmas Eve, 1851, and Cybermen stalk the snow of Victorian London. But when one Doctor meets another, they must combine forces to stop the rise of the CyberKing."

Hmm. Well, we weren't too impressed with this year's festive Doctor Who. Previous Christmas Specials had been way better. Even the Kylie one last year was more fun. AS for this one, the Cybermen have been scarier, the Cyberdogs were pretty poor and where was the jeopardy? Let's hope the other 'specials' this year are better. Roll on Stephen Moffat.

Happy Christmas From Grumpy Santa...

 

Opposites attract...

A little while ago Stu and I were over for dinner at some dear friends of ours when the conversation drifted round to 'opposites attract'. According to our hostess, one illustration of this phenomenon is that in every happy couple there is always an organised and tidy one (her) and a more spontaneous, less organised one (him). It helps if one partner is more obsessed with tidiness than the other, right? Nods of recognition all round from everyone round the table. "So," she asks brightly, "which one of you two is the anal one?" We needed the Heimlich manoeuvre to stop Stu choking.

Arsenal 1-1 Liverpool...

Paul adn I were at the Emirates yesterday afternoon. In true footie style.. we was Robbied! It was a game that saw seven yellow cards, much booing (mainly of the referee), some jeering and not nearly enough cheering. Robin Van Persie scored a blinder. Emmanuel Adebayor was hashly red carded. Robbie Keane fouled and fluked his way through the match. All fantastic fun!

It's Carpets! It's Madness! It's Carpet Madness!...

As they say on telly: It's Carpets! It's Madness! It's Carpet Madness! My carpets went in last weekend and things are looking good. Just a few more things to polish off and it'll all be done. Yay! And for those of you that have never seen where I live, this is it!

Still Ill...

Still got this lousey cold so at home again today. Bah!

Natural Harvest...

For those of you who don't know about lulu.com: you can write a book, upload it on the website and people can either pay to download it, or order a copy, which is printed on demand so the writer doesn't need to pay any money upfront to have it published.

When writing this recipe book, Fotie Photenhauer was probably not too confident in its success, so lulu.com was the wisest choice. Admittedly, the reviewers have mixed opinions.

Natural Harvest - A Collection of Semen-Based Recipes

[Thanks Ian]

Man 'Flu...

I've got man 'flu. Well actually it might be just a heavy cold. Monday morning I had all the symptoms; sneezing, coughing, aching all over and genreally feeling lousy. By Monday night I was sweating like a pig and last night I was shivering with cold under three duvets. Today I've dosed myself up with Lemsip Max, Strepsils Extra and Nurofen Plus (don't you just love all those Max, Extra and Plus words. Makes it seem like they really work, right?) and crawled into work. Got a big day ahead and can't be sick.

Christmas Party ft the grumpiest Santa ever...

On Sunday Stuart and I went to Upminster to meet up with the gang for Christmas lunch at The West Lodge, Essex. It was great fun; eating, drinking, dancing and 'Pete, the Music Man' (think Raw Sex). To top it off Stuart dressed up as Santa Claus to entertain the kids. He doesn't really like kids which is of course why we made him do it! He is, officially, the grumpiest Santa ever! Needless to say he was brilliant! 

50Mb Broadband...

Yay! Looks like the 50Mb Virgin Media service is on it's way. Costs £51 a month or £35 a month if you take the £11 a month telephone service.

The Woman With Eight Bottoms...

Channel Five documentary title generator. Excellent.

Magic Genie...

Magical genie deduces what character you're thinking of through a series of questions. Great fun.

Classic House...

Here are some of my favourite classic house tracks. Happy days.

Ten City - That's The Way Love Is
Inner City - Good Life
Inner City - Big Fun
Joe Smooth - Promised Land
Sterling Void - It's All Right
Soul II Soul - Back To Life
Bizarre inc - Playing with knives
Candi Staton - You Got The Love
Rhythim Is Rhythim - Strings of Life
Raze - Break 4 Love
Richie Rich - Salsa House
Ralphi Rosario - You Used To Hold Me
LiL Louis - French Kiss
808 State - Pacific State
Todd Terry - Weekend
Bass-O-Matic - Fascinating Rhythm
Xpansions - Move Your Body

You Haven't Got A 404...

You're so Code 11. You haven't got a 404.

"It's just another form of the Queen's English - not better, not worse" - Jonathon Green, slang lexicographer.

118 118...

If you live in the UK you may know about 118 118 - the directory enquiries service. You may also know that you can also ask for telephone numbers and addresses by text. Well they expanded this service a little while ago and now they will answer any questions by text too. They publish these questions and answers as a live feed on their web site and it's really quite hypnotic.

Strumpets Out, Cossacks In...

Our works Xmas party tomorrow night was going to be a Dickensian affair at Shunt, London Bridge. Unfortunately they've failed to get their licence so we've moved to a Russian Nostrovia themed night in Battersea Park. So it's strumpets out, Cossacks in! How corporate.

Black Hole...

Turns out there is not just a black hole in our public finances but also one in the centre of our Milky Way.

"Congrats, I'm just upset that I didn't meet her first!!"...

"I finally did it, married my girlfriend of 5 years. She means the world to me, I cant believe what a lucky guy I am. I never thought I would find true love, but now that I have my life is complete. Here are the pictures from our ceremony."

Thin and Crusty...

The other day I phoned my local pizza delivery firm and asked for a thin and crusty supreme.

They sent me Diana Ross.

Cats Being Rescued by Firemen...

What more can I say? Perfect for a Monday morning. It's cats being rescued by firemen. Bless. Not too sure about evil ice cat #3 though.

Arsenal 1-0 Wigan...

It was a fairly grim performance yesterday afternoon but at least we got the three points we needed from Emmanuel Adebayor's first half winner. Bag-o-shite Emmanuel Eboue's brief appearance in the second half would had been laughable if it hadn't been such a risk. Hopefully he'll be gone in January.

Paul and I went to the Drayton Arms both before and after the match. Great fun.

Nouvelle Vague (gig + a pop quiz all in one)...

Having canceled shows left, right and centre recently we were lucky to see '60s Bossa nova-style funsters Nouvelle Vague last night at the Kentish Town Forum. And lucky was the right word. They were great. Stu, Drew, David and I watched them perform all their 'hits' i.e songs from their first two albums of covers (Nouvelle Vague and Bande A Part) and also stuff from their forthcoming (as yet unnamed) third album. Most of the night was spent playing "name that tune"; a gig + a pop quiz all in one!

The highlight of the night though was the performance of The Dead Kennedys' Too Drunk to Fuck. Mid-song the lead singer took a swig from her bottle of water and then sprayed the rest at the audience. Immediately an open water bottle sail through the air from the middle of the crowd and hit her on the head. It exploded in a shower of water, drenching her. She then spat her mouth full of water back at the crowd again. It was water fight! It all happened really fast and we laughed hysterically. As did she. Still singing she then jumped down from the stage and waded through the crowd to get to the bar. Got a drink. And then waded back again to the stage to finish the song. Bonkers.

Below are the track listings of the first two albums to give you a feeling of what else we listened to:

"Love Will Tear Us Apart" (Joy Division)
"Just Can't Get Enough" (Depeche Mode)
"In a Manner of Speaking" (Tuxedomoon)
"Guns of Brixton" (The Clash)
"This Is Not a Love Song" (Public Image Ltd.)
"Too Drunk to Fuck" (Dead Kennedys)
"Marian" (The Sisters of Mercy)
"Making Plans For Nigel" (XTC)
"A Forest" (The Cure)
"I Melt with You" (Modern English)
"Teenage Kicks" (The Undertones)
"Psyche" (Killing Joke)
"Friday Night Saturday Morning" (The Specials)
"Sorry for Laughing" (Josef K)
"Wishing (If I Had a Photograph of You)" (A Flock of Seagulls)
"The Killing Moon" (Echo & the Bunnymen)
"Ever Fallen in Love (With Someone You Shouldn't've)" (Buzzcocks)
"Dance with Me" (Lords of the New Church)
"Don't Go" (Yazoo)
"Dancing with Myself" (Generation X)
"Pride (In the Name of Love)" (U2)
"O Pamela" (The Wake)
"Heart of Glass" (Blondie)
"Confusion" (New Order)
"Human Fly" (The Cramps)
"Bela Lugosi's Dead" (Bauhaus)
"Shack Up" (A Certain Ratio)
"Let Me Go" (Heaven 17)
"Fade to Grey" (Visage)
"Moody" (ESG)
"Sweet and Tender Hooligan" (The Smiths)
"Blue Monday" (New Order)
"Escape Myself" (The Sound)
"Waves" (Blancmange)
"Israel" (Siouxsie & the Banshees)
"Eisbär" (Grauzone)

ABC3D...

What a fab little book.

[Thanks Iain]

mormonsexposed...

Who knew Mormon's could be so sexy? 2009 "Men on a Mission" Calendar

Cat Bad Hair Day...

TfL Travel Tools...

The TfL web site has some rather super new travel tools; live departure boards for every tube station, live travel news and of course journey planners and maps.

Star Trek trailer...

Here's the new Star Trek movie trailer. Looks good.

Eurostar Ordeal...

Marcus and I went to Paris for the weekend. Only what was meant to be a pleasant trip was marred by a fault on our Eurostar train. Almost half way through the channel tunnel it broke down losing all power. The battery onboard (you mean they only have one?) then ran out and we were then plunged into total darkness. Trapped under the sea for almost three hours. The temperature and carbon dioxide levels rose rapidly and many people where in a panic. We couldn't open the windows or the doors, there were no announcements, no Eurostar staff to tell us that help was on the way, no water, no nothing. Not even International Rescue. Eventually we were towed out to the French side and transferred onto another train at Calais. Five hours late we rolled into Gard Du Nord. Waiting for us was a media scrum where I gave an interview to the television cameras telling them what an ordeal we'd had.

(All CET)
10:40 Left St Pancras
11:55 Breakdown mid-tunnel
12:35 Air con fails. Lights fail. No announcements. Heat rises. CO2 levels rise. Can't open windows or doors.
13:55 Moving again slowly
14:40 Train finally out of tunnel
15:25 Still no air con. No power. No announcements. Towed into station
15:45 First door forced open - hanging roof panel exposes wires
15:50 Policeman finally tells us we will be detrained then go to to Lille then Paris
16:15 Detrained with the army and many police officers in attendance just in case anyone felt like making their dissatisfaction known
16:40 Train sets off for Lille. No bar service or food. They could have told us so we could have bought things at station!
16:55 Announcement about free ticket compensation and free emergency rations to be made available.
17:15 Arrive Lille
17:25 Announcement that we'll be in Paris at 18:25
18:25 Arrived Paris Gard De Nord. Gave press interview.