Laos: Waterfalls and Water-Buffalo...

Since we were up early to give alms to the Lao monks we thought we'd head over to the early morning Luang Probang market afterwards (cue: lots of fresh produce; chickens killed to order, live frogs by the box, freshly peeled guineapigs - that sort of thing.) Feeling slightly bilious we quickly whizzed out into the countryside to steal a march on any other early-bird funseekers heading to the beautiful Kuang Si waterfalls. Rising 150m up from the forest floor the impossibly cute waterfalls tumble down a limestone outcrop into the pale blue pools below. We were indeed the first to arrive so had the beautiful place to ourselves for a while at least. After taking a few snaps we ate a locally sourced fruit picnic for breakfast at the base of the cascades, climbed up the waterfalls to take in the view over the forest tree-tops from the top and then descended again to swim in the clear blue waters to cool off. The only thing to disturb us was those little fucking fish that nibble at your toes. Be gentle my little nibblers! Still, we had damned clean feet when we got out!

We then dried off and walked through the forest to a nearby black bear sanctuary full of rescue bears (bless) and then headed towards the river where we chartered a boat to take us upstream along the mighty Mekong River for a couple of hours back to Luang Prabang proper. En route we saw lots of fishermen wobbling in their flat-bottomed boats casting their nets wide to earn their keep, some water-buffalo wallowing in the glorious mud to cool off from the late morning sun while we just laid back and drank in the views of the lush green forest as it ran all the way from the river's edge up to the mountains in the distance. Everyone we passed on the riverbank waved to us and beamed their ivory smiles. Such friendly people the Lao.

Back in town with our interest piqued from what we'd seen earlier... we had water-buffalo burgers for lunch! The circle of life, eh?

Earlier on we'd asked our guide about the elephant "sanctuaries" nearby. We had no intention of going to one BTW but he enforced this view by saying, "Please do not go. Yes, you get to ride an elephant but they treat the animals very badly. They work them too hard, don't feed them enough food and hit them with sharp iron hammers on their heads to control them." The dark side of tourism I guess. Poor Nelly.

So it was a waterfalls and water-buffalo kind of a day.

Laos: Monks...

We got up at 5am this morning to give the local monks some food. I think they needed it.

Monks here are not allowed to buy their own food food - they have no money anyway - so rely totally on alms from the locals every day to eat. So Stuart and I sat by the side of the road at some Buddha foresaken hour handing out what we thought they might want; sticky rice and some chocolate bars. They seemed happy enough with it. We soon ran out though.

It seems every other boy here is a monk. Why? Well, it seems education isn't free here in Laos so the only way to get schooling is to take Holy Orders and join a temple as the monks do provide basic free education. The upside? You learn your ABCs for free. The downside? You have to shave your head, beg for food every day and wear an orange dress until you are 16.

Later on we saw quite a few of these young monks in groups with mobile phones in their hands. When I asked our guide about this he said, "it's not a problem, they keep them switched to 'silent'" (Boom, tsk!)

Incidentally there is no universal healthcare in Laos either. I also asked our guide how people cope with no medical help.  "Large families. Seven kids is usual", he replied. "That way, at least some of us make it to be adults." Gulp!

Laos: Those First Impressions...

It was a long flight to Laos; 11 hours Heathrow to Bangkok, a 4 hour stop over and then another 2 hours in a tiny plane up into the Laos mountains. Needless to say when I saw the size of the final plane I took a valium and had a couple of beers to steady the nerves. So by the time we arrived in Luang Prabang we were pretty exhausted. 

Our guide, Saeng Touly, and driver picked us up from the airport and drove us the short distance to our hotel, Maison Souvannaphou (Champa room - breakfast is included). 

Luang Prabang is a beautiful little town sitting beside the mucky brown Mekong river. It used to be the capital city of Laos and is now an UNESCO site. 

The weather is hot, humid and when it rains it simply drizzles for a short while and then stops. 

We spent the first afternoon sleeping but then got up for cocktails by the pool before going for a walk along the peninsula and settling on a restaurant for a steak. 

We took a sleeping pill to help readjust to local time.

On the Tuesday morning we had breakfast by the pool and then meet up with our guide again to Explore the town further. We took in a few magical temples and the ancient crafts museum. The tour included visits to the Royal Palace Museum, Wat Xieng Thong and the `Water Melon` Stupa and the 319 step walk up the Pousi hill to see the commanding views from the top. Phew!

First impressions? Laos is a beautiful lush country, mainly forests but has a repressive one party government and we heard some chilling stories of fathers and sons from Hmong families (one of the many ethnic minorities here) just 'disappearing'.

Aladdin...

Last night Stuart and I went to see the London transfer of Disney's musical version of their 1992 animated film Aladdin at the Prince Edward Theatre in London's glitzy West End.

With music written by Alan Menken and lyrics by the late Howard Ashman, Tim Rice and Chad Beguelin this show was quite, quite brilliant; the score, direction, choreography, staging, lighting, design were all magnificent.

From the opening song Arabian Nights I was hooked. We were treated to a feast of colourful, whirling, dancing and singing characters that just took my breath away. By half time my face was aching from smiling so much.

Dean-John Wilson as a muscular Aladdin was fantastic, Jade Ewen as Jasmine a delight but the stand-out performance for me was Trevor Dion Nicholas as Genie.

This Genie was big, black and camped it up something rotten. He sang up a storm and basically upstaged anyone else who had the misfortune of being on stage with him. Marvellous.

Particular noteworthy production numbers were One Jump Ahead, Prince Ali and, of course, A Whole New World (complete with wobbly magic-carpet).

And although new song Proud of Your Boy brought a tear this old cynic's eye the stand-out number of the night (that had the audience on its feet and stopped the show) was Friend Like Me. Taking place in the glittering, golden Cave of Wonders it was simply wonderful. A real wow moment in a wow of a show.

Go see!

Gay Gooners on The One Show...

The One Show | BBC 1 | The Real North London Derby | 2016 from Tom Pursey on Vimeo.
Following the Proud Lilywhites and the Gay Gooners in the run up the North London Derby at White Hart Lane.

Tim Minchin...

Last Sunday night I went to see Tim Minchin at the Old Vic Theatre in London's increasingly glitzy Waterloo.

Performing for no other reason than he enjoys it we were treated to some of his best stand-up comedy and some of his funniest songs as well as a couple of new songs from his upcoming musical Groundhog Day.

I've always been a fan of Mr Minchin - combining as he does a healthy mix of cynicism, scepticism and atheism that I find very appealing.

I laughed pretty much from start to finish.

The setlist included:-
Beauty
Rock 'n' Roll Nerd
Woody Allen Jesus
Drowned
You Grew On Me
I Love Jesus
Cheese
F Sharp
The Good Book
Prejudice
Seeing You
When I Grow Up
Darkside

Billie Ray Martin...

Last Friday night Darren and I went to see Billie Ray Martin at the newly reopened Jazz Cafe in London's glitzy Camden.

We started the night at The Hen and Chickens meeting with Tim and Andy for a beer or three where we also bumped into Mark and Jane and Sarah which was nice. We then headed over to Camden Town for some nosh, knowing as we did that Billie wouldn't be on stage on time. And we were right - 45 minutes late. But it was worth it. Ostensibly promoting her new album The Soul Tapes we were treated to Billie's hits old and new.

Billie Ray Martin describes herself as “a kid from Hamburg’s red-light district, who wanted to be a soul singer, but ended up playing repetitive machine music, while still trying to be a soul singer".

Billie has never been easy to categorise. Clearly a soul singer, her career however has seen her mostly as a pioneer of house and electronic music, most notably her ground-breaking work with Electribe 101 and her seminal hit Your Loving Arms. Her explorations have led her further into the worlds of ambient music and drum & bass among other areas of electronica.

Her 2001 album 18 Carat Garbage had found her in Memphis, recording with Al Green’s and Aretha Franklin’s musicians, then adding cutting edge electronic sounds and textures to the production once back in Hamburg. The album was released in Germany, and on UK import sold several thousand copies in the first week of release alone. This current work continues that journey.

The Soul Tapes is the natural conclusion and a ‘first’ for Billie: no electronic music this time. Billie realised her long-held dream of recording an album that is equally influenced by Hi-Records (Al Green, Ann Peebles, Willie Mitchell) as it is by ’60s garage records. It is also not devoid of a certain country twang, and even Bo Diddley peeks through the door on one song.

So there we were at the Jazz Cafe appreciating Billie's soulful voice and her journey through all things soul and rhythm & blues. But nothing quite compared to the reception that greeted Your Loving Arms or Talking With Myself.

Afterwards Darren and I danced the night away at the Bloc Bar crawling in at some un-Godly hour.

Top night.

The Crystal Maze...

On Saturday night Oliver, Marcin, Steve, Jorge, Stuart, Luca, Stuart and I went to do The Crystal Maze game in London's glitzy Angel.

Lovingly recreated Aztec, Industrial, Future and Medieval worlds lay before us. And it was bloody brilliant!

The production values were very high with a great deal of attention paid to detail, the games were fiendish yet fun and the Maze Masters got the tone just right - telling jokes, giving clues and keeping the excitement levels at 100%

As we ran from world to world we each got to play two games - choosing from physical, mental, skill or mystery. If we solved the clues or climbed the wall or whatever we then unlocked one crystal. If one of us ran out of time and were locked in the room we needed to spend one crystal to release our team mate. Each crystal rewarded us with 5 seconds in the Crystal Dome grapping gold tickets at the end.

So we played 16 games, won 13 crystals, lost 3, won some bonus ones along the way so ended up with 15. Which bought us 75 seconds.

We beat all the other teams to get the most golden tokens but because we did so well they thought we must have been cheating so disqualified us just in case (!)

So technically, which is my favourite kind of truth, we won!

Well done boys! Start the fans!

The Taming of the Shrew...

Last night Stuart and I went to see The Taming of the Shrew at the Globe Theatre on London's glitzy Bankside.

And I left the place in a raging fury.

This production of one of my favourite plays cleverly had a comedic Irish twist which worked rather well. All the characters had Irish accents and there was Irish dancing. The show also subverted many of the norms of acting in Shakespeare's day by having some of the servants played by women. But, as is the Shakespearean comedic way, these 'servants' were generally all pretending to be the 'masters' so this was quite a clever device to get women into the leading roles.

That said, the production had one major flaw. So abject and serious was this flaw that it completely ruined the evening for me. So glaring, so objectionable was this mistake that I left the theatre very angry. I was completely incensed that they had turned a comedy that at its best is a battle of the sexes played out through a battle of wills into The Utter Humiliating Abuse of the Shrew. Yes, the story contains a sexist 'hero'. But to not explore this sexism and simply present it as entertainment is as complicit in the abuse as it is deeply offensive.

In the play said hero Petruchio attempts to "tame" his feisty shrew of a wife Kate in a variety of ways. He yells at the servants and prevents her from eating by insisting that the dishes are not good enough for her. He loves her 'too much' for her to eat substandard food. He then offers Kate presents of dresses and jewellery, only to return them saying that they too weren't good enough for her. He kills her with kindness. And this is very funny. Or it should be because Kate fights back against these absurdities. She doesn't just take it lying down. Only here it isn't funny at all, because she doesn't fight back. In this production they present Petruchio as simply being a cruel abusive bully and Kate a passive victim. It's a complete misstep and very uncomfortable to watch. It's a battle of the sexes where only one side is fighting and the other gets starved, stripped and molested as the audience watched in stony silence. To neuter Kate like this is to misrepresent one of Shakespeare's strongest women. Even though in this particular battle of sexes the man 'wins' to give Kate no fight back, to strip her of all her pride this production turns one of Shakespeare’s funniest comedies into an utter tragedy. And it was awful to watch.

Don't go. The funny bits are completely over-shadowed by the complicit sexism.

Laurie Anderson Slideshow...

Last night Paul and I braved the Southern Trains strike to go down to Brighton to see the world premiere of Laurie Anderson's Slideshow as part of the Brighton Festival... at the Brighton Dome... in glitzy Brighton. Did I mention it was in Brighton?

As it turned out the trip there and back couldn't have been easier. Strike? What strike? The show itself however was less smooth.

We are both big fans of Laurie Anderson and would both travel a very long way to see her perform but this show was woefully under-rehearsed. Laurie kept referring to her written notes while umming and ahhing (erring?) Which was ironic as the theme of the show was Plan B - what to do when things go wrong.

All that said, the pieces that did work were great; the live video projection of the prisoners into the museum and the pillow speaker in her mouth turning her voice into a violin were of particular note.

Good show but (with some rehearsal) could be a great show.

Gay Gooners...

The Caretaker...

Last Friday night Stuart and I went to see Matthew Warchus's production of The Caretaker at the Old Vic Theatre in London's getting-a-bit-more glitzy Waterloo.

Now Harold Pinter plays are not to every one's taste. Not least because the... long... pauses... can... drive... some... people... nuts. Aaand... eeeven... seeeend... theeem... tooo... sleeeep. And what with this production clocking in at 3 hours 10 minutes coupled with the notoriously warm Old Vic auditorium this was an evening that might challenge even the most ardent of Pinter fans to stay alert throughout. That is if the performances hadn't been quite so electrifying.

Timothy Spall, whether as Peter Pettigrew in the Harry Potter films or as JMW Turner in the Mike Leigh biopic, specialises in characters outside the social norms. Here he plays the titular tramp cum caretaker Davies superbly as a shaggy-haired wreck, who looks as if he might have been dragged through a hedge backwards.

In the course of the action, Davies meets and is befriended by the kindly Aston (Daniel Mays) but brutally exposed as an artful dodger by Aston’s leather-jacketed brother, Mick (George MacKay).

The three performances were all excellent, full of menace, very funny and at times heart-breaking. Daniel Mays speech about with violent electro-therapy is especially moving.

So (with a strong cup of coffee at interval number two) highly recommend.

Happy St Totteringham's Day...

Frank's Canteen Supper Club...

Last night Jane, Sarah, Stuart and I double-dated at the marvelous Frank's Canteen Supper Club. The theme was USA! USA! USA! with fantastic spicy wings, pulled beef, slaw, corn, bean salsa with all the trimmings and popcorn ice cream. To top it all it was BYO with no corkage. 

Classic Gingerline...

Last Saturday night Stuart and I went to weird immersive gastronomic event called Classic Gingerline at a secret location somewhere along the old East London line (now the Overground).

We had to dress in black and gold with a hint of glamour, take a gift for our hostess and wait for a text message at 6pm on the night for directions to our venue.

I won't give too much away other than to say that the excellent five course meal was heavily themed, the entertainment a good mix of high- and low-brow and after word got out about it being our 10th anniversary we were made to feel very special.

I probably enjoyed last year's Gingerline Chamber of Flavours more as it was a bit more like You Me Bum Bum Train with food. But this was good too - just a little more static.

Doctor Faustus...

Last Thursday night Stuart and I went to see the gorgeous Kit Harington in Christopher Marlowe's Doctor Faustus at the Duke of York's Theatre in London's glitzy West End.

The story tells of Doctor F selling his soul to the devil, writing the contract in blood and then living for the next 24 years as a Las Vegas magician. No really. They rewrote the middle bit.

To call this thing a mess would be to down play the word 'mess'. It is vulgar, chaotic, visceral, offensive, stupid, popularist, funny, rude, sacrilegious, ridiculous, and at times plain crap. People walked out at the interval. Which was a shame as they missed the on-stage karaoke.

We were treated to two and half hours of impenetrable dialogue, full frontal male and female nudity, rape, a dancing chorus line of devils, and blood. Lots and lots of blood.

It really was a mess.

On the up side we got to see lots and lots of Kit Harington. And nice to hear Kylie Minogue's Better the Devil You Know and Meatloaf's Bat Out of Hell sung at the interval.

Hard to recommend. Unless you like things really, really messy.

Real Life Dalek...

Vote Early! Vote Often!...

Tindersticks...

Last Friday night I went to see Tindersticks at the Barbican Hall in London's glitzy Brutalist Barbican.

Stuart Staples and the Nottingham songsters were there to promote their new album The Waiting Room. The first half of the gig was a sort of 45 minute greatest hits package with each dream-state song receiving more rapturous applause than the last.

Then in the second half the guys performed their new album in its entirety - each track being accompanied by its own short film. The music was excellent, the short films were brilliant.

Highlights for me were the pounding driving film to Were We Once Lovers? and the marvelously melodic We Are Dreamers!

As an encore we were treated to another 20 minutes of the bands hits.

Great stuff.


The set list was as follows...

First half:
Johnny Guitar (the Peggy Lee cover)
Keep You Beautiful
Medicine
She's Gone
Boobar Come Back to Me
The Other Side of the World
Sleepy Song
My Oblivion

Second Half (each track performed in front of its own film):
Follow Me (video projection)
Second Chance Man
Were We Once Lovers?
Help Yourself
Hey Lucinda
This Fear of Emptiness
How He Entered
The Waiting Room
Planting Holes
We Are Dreamers!
Like Only Lovers Can
Closing Titles aka Follow Me

Encore:
Show Me Everything
Slippin' Shoes
A Night So Still

The Toxic Avenger...

Last night Stuart, David and I went to see campy rock 'n' roll musical comedy The Toxic Avenger at the Southwark Playhouse in London's anything but glitzy Elephant and Castle.

Drawing very heavily on both The Rocky Horror Show and The Little Shop of Horrors for inspiration this bit of madcap nonsense is set in New Jersey and tells the story of a down at heel guy who gets pushed into a vat of toxic waste and returns a green mutant super hero. His blind girlfriend is none the wiser as he battles the evil Mayor to save the city and the planet from the toxic waste all around.

It's all great fun. The songs are good, the jokes suitably un-PC and the performances universally excellent. Much is made of the quick changes that the cast have to make as they play dozens of roles. It's literally a running gag that is a joy to behold.

Top marks and highly recommended if you want to laugh at silliness for two hours. Which we did.

Elegy...

Last night Stuart and I went to see Elegy at the Donmar Warehouse in London's glitzy West End.

Written by Nick Payne, whose previous play Constellations was a box office smash, this work was rather more pensive - rather less interesting - and mercifully very short.

Starring Zoë Wanamaker it tells the medical story of how a woman with a progressive brain disease opts to have her malady cured but at the expense of 20-30 years’ worth of recent memories. This changes who she is and effectively ends the marriage to her wife played by Barbara Flynn.

Think a lesbian version of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind but not quite as good.

The play is told in reverse which was to begin with a little confusing but ultimately did allow us to arrive at the situation where the couple are initially considering the treatment and what long term affects it will have on their relationship.

I almost expected to hear Sting singing If You Love Someone Set Them Free. But there was no music in this production. And precious little engagement with the emotions of the characters to be honest. You could see they were upset as the acting was superb but you didn't really feel for them. The dialog was all a little under-written and repetitive at times. In fact the opening scene is repeated verbatim at the end a little pointlessly. Yes, we get it. We were here the first time remember?

A shame really as all the elements were all there - a great playwright, a great cast and a great venue. Just not a great play.

Oh and the doctor is played by Nina Sosanya - so there were three Doctor Who actresses in one show! Which for me made a rather disappointing night a bit more fun.

Life / Balletboyz...

Last week Stuart and I went to see the all-male Balletboyz perform their show Life at the Sadler's Wells Theatre in London's glitzy Islington.

The night consisted of two short-ish pieces by Pontus Lidberg and Javier de Frutos.

The first piece saw our ten athletic chaps prancing about to the rites of spring wearing giant rabbit heads. It was good but perhaps a little unfocused - a little meaningless. Not that dance has to have meaning of course but I'd rather have meaning than plain meandering.

The second piece was far better. Set in an undressed dance studio complete with ballet bar it saw our intrepid ten dancers rehearse to the reading of an imagined eulogy to Javier de Frutos. Voiced by the likes of Derek Jacobi and Downton Abbey's Jim Carter the team re-enacted some of de Frutos’s autobiographical moments in a very funny, carefully choreographed yet delightfully chaotic way. Oh and Donna Summer's Last Dance makes a triumphant guest appearance.

Great fun.

Myrtle Post-Op...

Looking spritely after her big operation. Gotta love my mother.

Junior Doctors' Strike...

My mother has cancer. She was recently diagnosed with it and today, the first day of the junior doctors' strike, she is due in hospital for an operation to have a large tumour removed from her colon.

I was chatting to her last night. Is she worried about her operation? Sure she is. We all are. Is she worried because of the strike? Absolutely not. She is 100% behind the strike. She knows she'll get great care no matter what.

She brought me up to have a strong sense of fairness and despite being a bit of a Tory thinks that junior doctors are not being treated fairly by the new contract being forced upon them by the Government.

So there you have it. Someone at the sharp end. Someone who is having life-saving/life-threatening surgery today. Someone who you might expect to be thinking "why are they striking today of all days?" but isn't. Someone who thinks that the Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt has got it wrong.

And I couldn't be more proud of her.

Jeff Lynne's ELO...

Last Friday Stuart, Paul, Simon and I to see ELO, sorry, Jeff Lynne's ELO at The O2 Arena in London's far from glitzy North Greenwich.

Ostensibly promoting the Alone in the Universe album it was basically a greatest hits show. Jeff Lynne's massed musicians played us all his hits with total precision and we all sang along.

There wasn't much spontaneity but the light show was fab and everyone seemed to be having a great time.

All the hits and (two) more were:
Tightrope
Evil Woman
Showdown
All Over the World
When I Was a Boy
Livin' Thing
Ain't It a Drag
Can't Get It Out of My Head
Rockaria!
10538 Overture
Secret Messages
Steppin' Out
Shine a Little Love
(band introduction)
Wild West Hero
Telephone Line
Turn to Stone
Don't Bring Me Down
Sweet Talkin' Woman
Mr. Blue Sky
Encore:
Roll Over Beethoven (the Chuck Berry cover)

Prince RIP - Mountains (Extended Version)...

My favourite Prince song was, I'm told, Prince's least favourite song. As a single Mountains failed to perform and Prince has kept it off all his greatest hits albums since. But to me it is a wonder - it is joyous, it has a driving beat, at times it soars and at times it pumps away at your brain like any great disco funk record should. In particular the 10 minute version is wonderful, hynoptic and dissolves into an extended funk session that reminds me of my mispent youth on the dancefloor. RIP Prince

Victoria Wood RIP...

Seven years ago Guy and I went to see Victoria Wood's play Talent at the Menier Chocolate Factory. Vic was gracious enough to pose for photos. Bless her.

She was so nice when we met her. She said, "put your bloomin' arm round me then if you're going to!"

How To Fix Any Computer...

Leigh on Sea...

Last Saturday Stuart and I had a lovely day out in Leigh on Sea. We met up with Kerry, Monica and Denise at The Peterboat for lunch and then did a mini pub crawl to The Crocked Billet, The Mayflower and Ye Olde Smack. Great fun.

The Flick...

Last Friday night Stuart and I went to see Annie Baker's The Flick at the Dorfman Theatre on London's glitzy South Bank.

The play was set in a small American cinema auditorium and told the story of three bored and boring ushers.

They go about their daily lives as very little changes. Digital projection is coming... there might be a new owner soon... they don't get paid much so they fiddle some 'dinner money' from the till...

It was all rather Pinteresque - but not the good Pinter, the bad Pinter. We suffered three and half hours of these mundane lives, these mundane conversations and... the... very... long......... mundane... pauses. It relies heavily on the now standard theatrical trope of having your characters waiting for something. And as they wait through their inane chatter they gradually reveal some truth about their lives or their situation. Only here we learn very little and care even less.

Worthy? Yes. Worth it. No.

Nell Gwynn...

Last night Stuart and I went to see the Shakespeare's Globe transfer of Nell Gwynn at the Apollo Theatre in London's glitzy West End.

Written by Jessica Swale and starring Gemma Arterton the play is a witty telling of the story of the coquettish Gwynn who was to become not only the mistress of Charles II, mother of two of his children but also instrumental in changing the theatre of the 17th century. It cleverly weaves in the vital story of how the term actress was born when Charles II grants permission for women to act. Women playing female roles. Fancy!

The play is a riot from start to finish. Funny, bawdy and very knowing it plays to the crowd like a first class pantomime, a top-notch Carry On film and one of the better Shakespearean comedies all rolled into one.

If you get a chance to see it, do. It's great fun - not least to see little Milly, who almost steals the show as a cute King Charles spaniel called Oliver Cromwell.

54"...

"...an incredible 54" living area"

Ladies Garden...

We had a nice day out on Sunday with Tim and Andy. We walked up to Highgate and visited some of the local hostelries - The Gatehouse, The Prince of Wales, The Lanseer and The Swimmer at The Grafton Arms. This sign made us laugh though:

Boy...

Last Thursday night Stuart and I went to see Leo Butler's new play ‎Boy at the Almeida Theatre just off Islington's glitzy Upper Street.

Set on a travelator that weaves its way around the theatre the large cast, props and action all moved before our eyes as we followed a 17 year-old boy's 24 hours in London.

It was funny, powerful, moving, clever, thought-provoking with an outstanding cast. And the invisible chairs were a hoot.

Simply put, it was everything theatre should be in 2016.

Paul and Simon Wedding 9th April 2016...

A fantastic day! So happy for my best friend to finally get hitched. Not sure if my speech was a a blaze of comedy glory or an offensive cringe-fest though! (More pics to follow)

Hot This Weekend...

My grandad said, "It's going to be hot this weekend."
I said, "Tell me something I don't know!"
Grandad replied, "Your Nana's arse can take my whole fist."

Sunset Boulevard...

Last Thursday night Stuart and I went to see the wonderful Glenn Close in Sunset Boulevard at the London Coliseum in London's glitzy West End.

Sunset Boulevard is a musical with book and lyrics by Don Black and Christopher Hampton and music by Andrew Lloyd Webber. Based on the 1950 Sunset Boulevard film, the plot revolves around Norma Desmond, a faded star of the silent screen era, living in the past in her decaying mansion on the fabled Los Angeles street. When young screenwriter Joe Gillis accidentally crosses her path, she sees in him an opportunity to make her comeback to the big screen. Romance and tragedy follow.

Ok Ms Close may not quite have the voice that equals the best of them but she sure makes the role her own. Her Norma Desmond is just wonderful. She simply outshines the rest of the cast. You just can't take your eyes off her. Even if Stuart did say she's been made up like Regina Fong!

Ultimately the only mild disappointment is that the musical itself hasn't really held up as well as I'd hoped it would have. Perhaps Lloyd Webber has been rather cruelly exposed by his flop Stephen Ward recently and it will take something special to recover from that particular disaster.

My only other minor quibble is that the semi-staging doesn't really do justice to the star that we have all come to see and adore. Ms Close perhaps deserves a little better for her London debut. And being in such a large venue as the Coliseum we never really get to enjoy the final line as much as might... the final single spotlight on her face... as she says the immortal...  "All right, Mr. DeMille, I'm ready for my close-up."

Brilliant show though. Go see.

Well Done...

I cooked for Stuart's parents for the first time last night. As I handed out the rarely cooked steaks his father said, "I like it well done." 

I said, "Thanks, that means a lot."

Eskimo Feet...

If you go over to YouTube and search for 'Eskimo Feet'.There's loads of really cool footage.

(Yes, it's joke week here on overyourhead folks. Bear with me - normal service will be resumed.)

Human Torch...

At petrol station earlier I saw that Human Torch guy off of Fantastic 4. Stuck up git - I tried to get his autograph but he just kept rolling around on floor screaming.

Thief...

The thief who is stealing T-shirts in order of size is still at large.

X...

Last night Stuart and I went to see Alistair McDowall's new play X at the Royal Court in London's glitzy Sloane Square.

What a load of old codswallop. Boring, childish, trite, derivative, repetitive, unengaging, disappointing... I could go on.

"People abandoned on a space station on Pluto all go mad and end up killing themselves, you say? Okay... well it's been done a million times before. What's the fresh angle? How can you make it speak to a new generation and not just seem like a sub-par rip off of Event Horizon without the thrills or like a rubbish episode of 1980s Dr Who?"

"I can't"

"Oh"

"Well, can you at least make the play over-long and fill it with really annoying and unsympathetic characters?"

"That I can do"

"Great"

Save your money.

Let's Cut to the Cheese...

Some of my favourite malapropisms:

Living in ivory towels
A damp squid
On tender hooks
Nipping it in the butt
A mute point
Card shark
In lame man's terms
Let's cut to the cheese
The feeble position
You're soaping wet
Dance a flamingo
Giving up the goat
Getting your nipples in a twist
Chickens coming home to roast
From tiny eggcorns mighty oaks do grow
The very pineapple of politeness
Just desserts
A germ of endearment
Sixteenth Chapel
You lead the way and we'll precede
A rolling stone gathers no moths
Flat as a parrot
Sick as a pancake
The world is your lobster
I'm not the sharpest tool in the book
An escape goat
Going off on a tandem
Keeping me in suspenders
Smoking like a trooper
If daggers could kill
In Dorset tones
I wouldn't trust him with a bargepole

Wind Turbines?...

University Challenge:
Paxman: Who or what were created in Bristol in 1994?
Student: Wind turbines?
Paxman: Only in a manner of speaking, they were the first female clergy.

People, Places and Things...

Last week Stuart and I went to see Jeremy Herrin's electrifying production of Duncan Macmillan's new play People, Places and Things at the Wyndham's Theatre in London's glitzy West End.

Wow! What a show!

Fresh from its transfer from the Dorfman Theatre the play stars Denise Gough as an actress, Emma, checking herself into rehab. It's a rollercoaster ride of addiction, emotions and intoxicating action. I won't give the game away but things go very wrong, very quickly. If the first step is to admit you have a problem then Emma is in trouble from the get-go.

And if Ms Gough doesn't win Best Actress and Mr Macmillan Best New Play at the Olivier's this year I'll eat my hat.

Go see.

Easter Sunday...

We do dinner in three phases: serve the food, clear the plates, bury the dead.

Rainbow Theatre...

I first came to the Rainbow Theatre in Finsbury Park almost 40 years ago to see... The Darts.

A Moveable Feast...

Why is Easter so early this year? Well, it's a moveable feast.

Last Sunday was the first full moon after the March equinox (when the Sun appears more North than South from Earth). The Sunday that follows that is therefore Easter Sunday. That means that Easter Sunday could fall as early as 22nd March and as late as 25th April.

Bonkers? Yes. Blame the First Council of Nicaea in 325. They came up with the rules.

Back in 1928 the UK brought in the Easter Act which fixed Easter Sunday in the UK as the second Sunday in April. However, the legislation has never been implemented, although it remains on the Statute book. It needed the Church's say so. The sticking point? Various Christian churches fear that if they approve it then other Christian decisions may be 'up for grabs.'

Yes, people it's 2016.

Kate Bush Covers and Samples...

A while ago I did some research and put together a list of the commercially available tracks I could find that were sampled by or covered by Kate Bush. I also tried to find all the samples of and covers of Kate Bush tracks. This is what I discovered. There are lots of covers done on talent shows but I tried to restrict it to commercial releases only where possible. Any additions suggestions are more than welcome.

Tracks sampled by Kate Bush

The Dreaming (1982) sampled ORCH5 by David Vorhaus (1982)
Hello Earth (1985) sampled Tsintskaro by Traditional Folk (1700) and STS-1 Landing by John W. Young and Robert

L. Crippen (1981)

Tracks that have sampled Kate Bush

Wuthering Heights (1977) was sampled in...
Wuthering Heights by The Good 2 Bad and Hugly (1993)
Bad Dreams by DJ Isaac (1995)
Cockney Medley by Bill Bailey (2003)
Mainstream Killah by Beatstream and Radiate feat. Mike Redman (2010)
Ca Fait Un Bail by Dabaaz and DJ Pone (2010)
Free by Natalia Kills (2011)

Don't Push Your Foot on the Heartbreak (1978) was sampled in...
Tonight by Fonky Family (2001)

Wow (1978) was sampled in...
Big Up Your Chest by Ellis Dee (1995)

L'Amour Looks Something Like You (1978) was sampled in...
El Meu Paradís by At Versaris (2009)

The Man With the Child in His Eyes (1978) was sampled in...
I Hear Him by Todd Edwards (2003)

December Will Be Magic Again (1980) was sampled in...
The Opener by Skyzoo (2009)

Army Dreamers (1980) was sampled in...
Jeg Har en Ven by Pede B (2005)
On the Grind by Supersci feat. Chords (2006)
Lovacke Price by Bolesna Braca (2006)

Babooshka (1980) was sampled in...
Pushin' by Dumbfoundead and Wax (2010)

Blow Away (1980) was sampled in...
Love and Music by Kyza (2009)

Breathing (1980) was sampled in...
Una Volta Sola by Club Dogo (2006)

Night Scented Stock (1980) was sampled in...
Les Enfants Du Paradis by Loopzone (1990)

And Dream of Sheep (1985) was sampled in...
Deeper by Rabbit in the Moon (1997)
I Wake Up by Blu Mar Ten (2003)

Cloudbusting (1985) was sampled in...
Something Good by Utah Saints (1992)
Bastard / A****** by Hard Creation (2001)
Something Good 08 by Utah Saints (2008)

Hello Earth (1985) was sampled in...
Hyperspeed (G-Force Part 2) by The Prodigy (1992)

Running Up That Hill (1985) was sampled in...
00:20 - Need You This Way by The Kleptones (2006)
Tipa by Emily Karpel (2008)
Det Bedste Til Sidst by Linda Andrews (2009)

Covers By Kate Bush

Lord of the Reedy River (1981) is a cover of Lord of the Reedy River by Donovan (1971)
Un Baiser d'Enfant (1983) is a cover of The Infant Kiss by Kate Bush (1980)
Let It Be by Ferry Aid (featuring Kate bush) (1987) is a cover of Let It Be by The Beatles (1970)
Rocket Man (1991) is a cover of Rocket Man by Elton John (1972)
Candle in the Wind (1991) is a cover of Candle in the Wind by Elton John (1973)
The Man I Love by Kate Bush and Larry Adler (1994) is a George Gershwin cover (1924)
Mná Na HÉireann (Women of Ireland) (1996) is a cover of Women of Ireland by The Chieftains (1973)
Running Up That Hill (2003) is a cover of  Running Up That Hill by Kate Bush (1985)
Sexual Healing (2005) is a cover of Sexual Healing by Marvin Gaye (1982)

Covers of Kate Bush Songs

Wuthering Heights (1977) was covered by:-
Wuthering Heights by Pat Benatar (1980)
Wuthering Heights by White Flag (1992)
Wuthering Heights by Mr Floppy (1993)
Wuthering Heights by Angra (1993)
Wuthering Heights by Kate Project (1993)
Wuthering Heights by Ukulele Orchestra of Great Britain (1994)
Wuthering Heights by China Drum (1996)
Wuthering Heights by Chuck White (1997)
Wuthering Heights by Hayley Westenra (2003)
Wuthering Heights by Susan Egan (2005)
Wuthering Heights by The Puppini Sisters (2006)
Wuthering Heights by The Sweptaways (2006)

The Saxophone Song (1978) was covered by:
The Saxophone Song by Nora O'Connor (1998)

The Kick Inside (1978) was covered by:
The Kick Inside by Julie Covington (1978)
The Kick Inside by Thomas Eklund (1997)
The Kick Inside by Victoria Storm (1998)

Moving (1978) was covered by:
Moving by Alan Tignanelli (1997)

Oh England My Lionheart (1978) was covered by:
Oh England My Lionheart by John Anthony James (1997)

The Man With the Child in His Eyes (1978) was covered by:-
The Man With The Child In His Eyes by Dusty Springfield (1978)
The Man With the Child in His Eyes by Hue & Cry (1995)
The Man With The Child In His Eyes by Syd Straw (1998)
The Man with the Child in His Eyes by Maria Friedman (2006)
The Man With the Child in his Eyes by Natalie Cole (2006)
The Man With the Child in His Eyes by Tina Arena (2007)

L'Amour Looks Something Like You (1978) was covered by:
L'Amour Looks Something Like You by Shelley Doty (1997)
L'Amour Looks Something Like You by The Aluminium Group (1998)

Coffee Homeground (1978) was covered by:
Coffee Homeground by Mouse (band) (1998)

Kashka from Baghdad (1978) was covered by:
Kashka from Baghdad by Plunging Necklines (1998)

Army Dreamers (1980) was covered by:
Shem Baheven by Mazi Cohen (1987)
Army Dreamers by Mary Dillon (2010)

Babooshka (1980) was covered by:
Babooshka by Plunging Necklines (1998)

Delius (Song of Summer) (1980) was covered by:
Delius by Heavy pet (1997)
Ran Tan Waltz (1980) was covered by:
Ran Tan Waltz by Brian Wright (1997)

Breathing (1980) was covered by:
Breathing by Big City Orchestra (1987)
Breathing by E-Clypse feat. Jemma Price (1999)
Breathing by B.E.F featuring Andy Bell (2013)

Sat In Your Lap (1982) was covered by:
Sat In Your Lap by Violet (1997)

Suspended in Gaffa (1982) was covered by:
Suspended In Gaffa by Rhythm & Dreaming (1997)
Suspended in Gaffa by My Scarlet Life (1998)
Suspended in Gaffa by Ra Ra Riot (2007)

There Goes a Tenner (1982) was covered by:
There Goes a Tenner by J. Davis Trio (1998)
There Goes a Tenner by J. Davis Trio (2001)

Cloudbusting (1985) was covered by:
Cloudbusting by Two Librarians On The First Floor (1997)
Cloudbusting by Novembre (2001)
Cloudbusting by Wild Nothing (2011)

Hounds of Love (1985) was covered by:
Hounds Of Love by Moviegoers (1998)
Hounds of Love by The Futureheads (2004)
Hounds of Love by The Church (2009)

Running Up That Hill (1985) was covered by:
Running Up That Hill by Blue Pearl (1990)
Running Up That Hill by Elastic Band (1994)
Running Up That Hill by Levy 9 (1995)
Running Up That Hill by Lochinvar (1997)
Running Up That Hill by Baltimores (1998)
Running Up That Hill by Badlees (1999)
Running Up That Hill by Kiki and Herb (2000)
Running Up That Hill by Faith and the Muse (2001)
Running Up That Hill by The Baltimores (2001)
Running Up That Hill by Within Temptation (2003)
Running Up That Hill by Infusion feat. Kate Bush (2003)
Running Up That Hill by Placebo (2003)
Running Up That Hill by Danielle French (2003)
Running Up That Hill by Icon & the Black Roses (2004)
Running Up That Hill by Claudia Brucken (2005)
Running Up That Hill by Chromatics (2007)
Running Up That Hill by Club for Five (2009)
Running Up That Hill by Gregorian (2009)
Running Up That Hill by The Very Best (2011)
Running Up That Hill by Will Young (2011)
Running Up That Hill by Starlab vs Sonatron ft. Belle Erskine (2014)

Don't Give Up (1985) was covered by:
Don't Give Up by Willie Nelson and Sinéad O'Connor (1993)
Don't Give Up by Gregorian feat. Sarah Brightman (1999)
Don't Give Up by Dave Warrin feat. Jody Watley (2001)
Don't Give Up (Africa) by Alicia Keys and Bono (2005)
Don't Give Up by Herbie Hancock feat. John Legend and Pink (2010)

Mother Stands for Comfort (1985) was covered by:
Mother Stands For Comfort by Murder Of Crows (1997)
Mother Stands For Comfort by Brian Seabolt (1997)
Mother Stands for Comfort by Jane Birkin (2006)

And Dream Of Sheep (1985) was covered by:
And Dream Of Sheep by Violet (1997)
And Dream Of Sheep by Thomas Negovan (1998)

Jig of Life (1985) was covered by:
Jig of Life by Catherine Smitko (1998)

Under The Ivy (1985) was covered by:
Under The Ivy by Philip Caldwell (1997)
Under The Ivy by Tracey Thorn (2014)

Under Ice (1985) was covered by:
Under Ice by Violet (1997)

Waking The Witch (1985) was covered by:
Waking The Witch by Violet (1997)

The Morning Fog (1985) was covered by:
The Morning Fog by Particle Salad (1997)

Not This Time (1986) was covered by:
Not This Time by Tom Dunning & Your Boyfriends (1998)

This Woman's Work (1988) was covered by:
This Woman's Work by Maxwell (1997)
This Woman's Work by ACO (2001)
This Woman's Work by Greg Laswell (2009)
This Woman's Work by Gwyneth Paltrow (2011)

Reaching Out (1989) was covered by:
Reaching Out by Chris Spillios (1997)

The Sensual World (1989) was covered by:
The Sensual World by Mark Ozdoba (1997)
The Sensual World by Susan Voelz (1998)

Love and Anger (1990) was covered by:
Love And Anger by Trinkets Of Joy (1998)
Love and Anger by Nada Surf (2010)
Love and Anger by Bright Light Bright Light (2014 and 2016)

Home for Christmas (1993) was covered by:
Home for Christmas by Diamond Jim Greene (1998)

You're the One (1993) was covered by:
You're the One by Justin Roberts (1998)

Why Should I Love You? (feat. Prince) (1993) was covered by:
Why Should I Love You? (feat. Prince) by Mike Scott (1997)

The Patriotic Traitor...

Last Friday night Stuart and I went to see Jonathan Lynn's The Patriotic Traitor at the Park Theatre in London's unglitzy Finsbury Park.

The action charts the friendship-turned-enmity between Tom Conti's Philippe Pétain – the French general and hero of Verdun, who would go on to sign the infamous armistice with Nazi Germany – and Laurence Fox's ambitious Charles de Gaulle, the soldier who would rescue France and have Pétain tried for treason. It's old warfare versus modern warfare. Patriot vs Traitor. And it's a fascinating story.

The acting was top-notch and we were gripped from start to finish.

One person’s patriot is someone else’s traitor, and it’s ultimately circumstance, time and history that decides whose view wins.

If You Kiss Me, Kiss Me...

Last night Stuart and I went to see Jane Horrocks' theatre show If You Kiss Me, Kiss Me at the Young Vic in London's glitzy Waterloo.

It was a night where Ms Horrocks puts her own twist on the New Wave sounds she grew up with in the Northwest. And God I so wanted to like this show.

But what a strange, distant night it was. Mercifully it was just 60 minutes long. I can sum it up by saying it was strange mix of over-confidence in the concept but under-confidence in the execution.

So what was it? Well, it was a hybrid show - part gig, part dance piece, part theatrical mash-up - which was performed on stage by not only the lovely Jane but also a four-piece band and four jerkily energetic dancers.

As I've hinted, the show didn't really work. It fell between the three wobbly stools of being a rather insipid gig, unremarkable dance show and banal theatrical piece. Also fundamentally the thirteen or so song choices were just too obscure to be recognised by a modern diverse audience. A track-listing better suited for a Duckie night or a Retro Bar Pop Quiz perhaps? That said many of the (re)interpretations were wonderful (more on that later).

Ms Horrocks was strangely distant as a stage performer and there was virtually no audience engagement which was a real shame. The few bum notes we suffered would have been easily forgiven if she had remained true to her Debbie Harry / rock-chick platinum blonde look and aimed to get everyone on their feet in a rabble-rousing performance. But no, she just sang, shuffling around the stage a bit much as we just sat there, shuffling in our seats a bit. We even felt cheated out of being able to applaud the end of any given song as she would quickly start another. Doesn't Gig 101 teach you the rhythm is pause-applause, pause-applause, pause-applause?

The setlist was:-
Anthrax by Gang Of Four
Atrocity Exhibition and Isolation by Joy Division
Fiction Romance and What Do I Get? by Buzzcocks
Nag Nag Nag by Cabaret Voltaire
Empire State Human by The Human League
Hot On The Heels Of Love by Throbbing Gristle
My New House by Fall
Memorabilia by Soft Cell
I Know It’s Over by The Smiths
Temptation by New Order
Life Is A Pigsty by Morrissey

The three stand-out performances for me were the slowed down What Do I Get?, the epic Empire State Human and the manic Memorabilia which were worth the ticket price alone. Perhaps the reason I liked these particular performances so much though was because I liked these three particular songs so much. Which is a sad indictment on a night that had a great idea at its heart but you only liked the songs you knew. What it needed was sharper song choices (or the personal reasons behind why those thirteen were chosen) and a more personably singer to sing them.

Sorry Bubble, just an E for Effort.

Get It Wrong...

It's a bit like flying a plane. Get it right and nobody really notices. Get it wrong and everybody notices.

Akhnaten...

 Last night Stuart, Paul and I went to the English National Opera to see Philip Glass's Egyptian opera Akhnaten at the Coliseum in London's glitzy West End.

The opera is based on the life and religious convictions of the pharaoh Akhnaten and is the third of a trilogy of biographical operas, the others being Einstein on the Beach (about Albert Einstein) and Satyagraha (about Mohandas Gandhi).

These three people — Akhnaten, Einstein and Gandhi — were all driven by an inner vision which altered the age in which they lived, in particular Akhnaten in religion, Einstein in science, and Gandhi in politics.

Unlike Glass's other two operas however Akhnaten is less hardcore minimalist than Einstein and less oratorio-like then Satyagraha. Akhnaten is perhaps more accessible for the Glass virgins.

The story concerns Akhnaten attempts to convert his kingdom to monotheism using Egyptian texts of the period such as a poem of Akhnaten himself, from the Egyptian Book of the Dead.

Act 1 concerns Year 1 of Akhnaten’s reign in Thebes, Act 2 covers years 5 to 15 in Thebes and Akhnaten, and Act 3 is about year 17, his death and the present day.

The music is of course sublime and is perfectly complimented by director Phelim McDermott's production. Once again he has stepped up to the plate as have designers Tom Pye (sets) and Kevin Pollard (costumes). The lighting, the shadows, the movement, the chorus, the jugglers all contribute to the wow factor.

The trio of protagonists, Anthony Roth Costanza as Akhnaten, Emma Carrington as his wife Nefertiti and Rebecca Bottone as his mother Queen Tye, are excellent, even if Costanza’s rather shrill counter-tenor voice won’t be to everyone's taste. Though this production may not quite be the revelation that Satyagraha was (how could it?), it is still on its own terms an excellent piece of work, both theatrically and musically.