Some of my favourite malapropisms:
Living in ivory towels
A damp squid
On tender hooks
Nipping it in the butt
A mute point
Card shark
In lame man's terms
Let's cut to the cheese
The feeble position
You're soaping wet
Dance a flamingo
Giving up the goat
Getting your nipples in a twist
Chickens coming home to roast
From tiny eggcorns mighty oaks do grow
The very pineapple of politeness
Just desserts
A germ of endearment
Sixteenth Chapel
You lead the way and we'll precede
A rolling stone gathers no moths
Flat as a parrot
Sick as a pancake
The world is your lobster
I'm not the sharpest tool in the book
An escape goat
Going off on a tandem
Keeping me in suspenders
Smoking like a trooper
If daggers could kill
In Dorset tones
I wouldn't trust him with a bargepole
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