Gay Pride 2009...

We had a fantastic gay pride this year as you can probably see from this montage. The weather held out (mostly), the parade was fun (mostly) and we got a chance to take over the streets (mostly). Maybe next year the stewards could be a little bit less dictatorial though! Here are some more pix.

Happy Birthday Stuart...

My lovely, wonder boyfriend. [And thanks for the picture Stu]

Gay Shame ... now with Saint Etienne!

This Saturday it's Gay Pride. And the must-do event is, as ever, Gay Shame. This year it's at the Brixton Academy and the theme is: Gay Shame ... Goes Girly (A Festival of Femininity)

He's the info:

A pro-femme funfair for post-gay chicks and chaps An arty farty party for the clitterati… and a nightclub packed with things to do!

35 side shows - 3500 patrons - 150 artistes

Designed by Robin Whitmore - Hostessed by Miss Amy Lamé
DJs Readers Wifes / Guest DJs Unskinny Bop

With Saint Etienne on the main stage

Tickets: £15 in advance.
www.ticketweb.co.uk 08444 77 2000
Small booking fee online or by phone.
For no booking fee, buy tickets in person in advance from The Retro Bar, 2 George Court, WC2.
Very Limited amount of tickets on the door.
This event will sell out.
Please come early.

Decorate a cake - Multi-Task - Be Hysterical - Paint a gentle watercolour of a front bottom - Get Arrested by the Femme Police – Embroider a Tapestry - Have a Backstreet Abortion - Be a Fashion Model – Be a stereotype - Test your Feminine Qualities - Have your nipples cast in chocolate - Visit the Womyn’s ‘Safe Space’ and worship the Sacred Goddess C**t
Do some low paid factory work - Get wasted at the Hen Party
Duck away from the Yummy Mummys - Put your lipstick traces everywhere
Model naked with your sisters - Show us what’s in your handbag – Hoover
Have a boob job - Smell Mummys Perfume - Breastfeed - Give birth - Arrange Flowers – Clean Toilets – Have a bedbath - Have a Facinator made - Buy some Jam from the Womens Institute
Enjoy Musicals - Watch your weight
But most of all …Go shopping.

The last ever Gay Shame is an indoor po-mo-homo-lesbo playground full of interactive art and alternative ideas.

It is a creative rebellion against the banalities of the mainstream Gay Pride festival and a satire on the commercialisation of our community.

After last year’s comic condemnation of masculinity
comes this summer’s celebration of femininity.

Calling all butches of both genders: stop being hard and let down your guard.

So dress up, enter the entertainment emporium,
collect your currency of green shield stamps
and spend them in our glamorous ersatz department store.

Ladies are powerful consumers!

The Sideshows

Russell Harris & Janine Harrington
The Welcoming Party

Bird La Bird
The Femme Police

Wrench & Franks
Department X

Too Many Divas
The WI Tent

Sue Frumin & Clare Morgan
Fanny's Fancies

Completely Naked
Feminine Tableux Vivants

Tom Mcleod & Susannah Hart
Ten Classic Breasts

Miss High Leg Kick and Steve Nice
The Enchanted Forest - Miss High Leg Kick's Hair Removal Clinic

Roy Kerr
Up Miss Ella Vator

The Sartorial Eventists
Millinery Miss Fits

Howard Hardiman
The Beauty Factory

Nicholas Immaculate
Woman's Work @ The Beauty Factory

Scottee
Abortive Tapestry

Miho Kuramata & Kate Street
Female Stereotypes

Charlie Pulford & Joanna Neary
World of Lipstick

Dr T.Estosterone & Dr S.Punk & Nurse Olgasmic
100% Femme

Ryan Styles
Milk Bar

Thom Shaw & Ryan Ormonde
Eau de Maman

Tim Spooner
Immaculate Childbirth

Lucille Power
Mummy's Little Helper

The Bears
The Care Bears' Girly, Sissy-Play Party

Mitch & Parry
Mitchelino and Parriola - Chocolatier

Timberlina & Hilda Eusébio
Emotional Couture

Brian Lobel
Georgia's O

Lois Weaver
Hitchcock Handbags

Johanna Linsley
House of Hysteria

The Actionettes
Adventures in Ladyland

Hewlett & Eaton
Barbara and Yogashwara's Safe Space

H. Plewis
The Hen Party

Rachel Davies
Yummy Mummys

Sheila Ghelani
Nurse Knows Best

H. Plewis
Breast Feeding

Matthew Robbins
Dolls House Cinema

Jonny Woo
The Misadventures of Wonder Woman

Andrew Humphrey
Tupperware Party

The Muffia
The Makeover

Co-Starring The Stylinquents, Zpark, Neal Medlyn, Dickie Beau, La John Joseph, Russella, Eirini Kartsaki, Olga Raciborska, Geneva Foster Gluck, Harriot Plewis, Francesca Millican-Slater, Heather Long, Claire Nolan, Kris Woods, Louise Mothersole, Jo Palmer, Annabel Lee, Derya Ekinc, James Woods, Sally Marie, Polly Nash, Deborah Penny, Alice Martin, Benjamin Sebastian, Lottie Leedham, Tom Brooks, Tamsin Hull, Lynne Verrall, Kate Rigden, Rosie Cooper, Diana Hill, Elodie Escarmelle, James Gorrett, Lizzie Sells, Louise Tanoto, Liz Watkins, Jinn, Am Elemara, Katy Pearce & Gemma William, Joan Dairy Queen, Nicola Singh, Season Butler, Alun Davies, Johanna Schuster-Craig, Nurse Katherina Radeva, Nurse Jiva Parthipan, Nurse Natasha Davis, Nurse Chloe Dechery, Nurse Hannah Crosson & Nurse Victoria Firth, Officer Mademoiselle Jolie Rouge, Officer Deni Francis, Officer Joy Kahumbu, Officer Rooshka, Officer Ronx and others to be confirmed.

Dress code: radical femmes, first ladies, femme doms, fairies, WI’s, debutantes, dandies, birds, brides, blowzabellas, quentins, spinsters, sissies, suffragettes …and their butch brethren.

Further info 020 7737 4043

Streetwise Safety: police presence at tube and outside venue and changing facilities at venue if needed.

Funded by Arts Council England.

Supported by Diva, The Pink Paper, Gay Times and Metropolitan Police.

Muscle March WiiWare...

This is why I play video games; muscle men, polar bears and hyper-mania.

Torchwood: Asylum / Golden Age / The Dead Line

As a precursor to Torchwood hitting our screens next week there are to be three forty-five minute Torchwood radio plays broadcast this week on BBC Radio Four. They will be broadcast at 2:15pm (the Afternoon Play slot)) and then available for download for seven days after the broadcast.

These three episodes are considered “canon” and will bring the series’ backstory up to date before the première Children of Earth.

Torchwood: Asylum
2.15-3.00pm, Wednesday 1 July 2009
When PC Andy arrests a teenager for shoplifting, he thinks it is going to be a routine case. Then he sees the weapon she is carrying and decides to call in the Torchwood team.
By Anita Sullivan.

Torchwood: Golden Age
2.15-3.00pm, Thursday 2 July 2009
The Torchwood team are led to Delhi on the trail of a dangerous energy field.
By James Goss.

Torchwood: The Dead Line
2.15-3.00pm, Friday 3 July 2009
When a Cardiff hospital is inundated with patients who have fallen into coma – like trances, Torchwood move in to investigate.
By Phil Ford.

Torchwood: Children Of Earth...

All next week at 9pm on BBC One and BBC HD we will have the pleasure of seeing the Torchwood team (Captain Jack Harkness, Gwen Cooper and Ianto Jones) return for a brand-new adventure in Torchwood: Children Of Earth, a new five-part series.

Naked Boys Singing...

On Friday night Sparky and I went to see Naked Boys Singing @ The Kings Head in Islington's glitzy Upper Street.

It basically consisted of naked boys... er... singing. Singing songs about being naked. Songs about boys. And, well, songs about singing. If Ronseal made musicals...

It was also rather witty. We laughed pretty much throughout. How could you not? It was show tunes with a bit of beefcake. A chorus line with a bit of cock.

Once In a Lifetime - Motown Legends Live...

Last week Stu and I went to see Once In a Lifetime - Motown Legends Live at Wembley Arena. It was a bit of a dotch potch of Motown acts touring once again to plunder the pockets of nostalgia hungry crowds (i.e. us).

The night's running order was JR. Walker’s All Stars, The Miracles, Martha Reeves & The Vandellas, Mary Wilson and the Supremes, and The Commodores.

We'd basically gone to see Martha and Mary. The former failed to meet expectations. The latter exceeded them. The rest were frankly poor.

The evening was well put together but ultimately failed to deliver.

Shame.

Michael Jackson Dead...

Songs good. Man bad.

Microsoft Security Essentials...

Microsoft Security Essentials (code name Morro) is now in public beta. I've installed it on a couple of PCs and it seems to be mostly harmless.

For those of you who don't know, MSE is Microsoft's free anti-malware program for Windows. It claims to use a combination of both real-time and scheduled scans to protect against viruses, spyware, pop-ups, Trojans, rootkits et al.

It's replacing their (free) Windows Defender and (paid for) Windows Live OneCare offerings.

It remains to be seen whether it is any good or not - though I don't expect other free antivirus programs like AVG or Avira have much to worry about just yet. No doubt virus writers will be examining it closely for any loop holes as we speak though.

Iron Sky...

In 1945 the Nazis fled to the moon. In 2018 they are coming back. Oh yes, prepare for Iron Sky.

Duckie...

Clogdagh, Colin, Stu and I had a fab time at Duckie on Saturday night. Ursula Martinez was on and on top form and we fell in with The Big Wigs. As the snaps below will testify. More here.

Pet Shop Boys @ O2...

On Friday night Clodagh, Colin, Charlie, Paul, Simon, Darren, Stu and I all went along to the O2 Arena to watch the Pet Shop Boys's sell-out Pandemonium tour.

We had a a rare old time - not least because Paul and I had VIP passes (hic).

The PSBs were good, as ever. The usual mix of dance, relentlessly cubist visuals and mashing up of songs old and new.

Which Is Gayer?...

Me or you? Why, it's you of course!

OK, try this. Which is gayer, Graham Norton or Alan Carr? Graham Norton by a whisker.

And did you know that steak is actually overwelmingly gayer than quiche?

But of course Kylie is way gayer than Britney (but not Madonna).

How do we know these things? Well, if you put "Gay Apple" into google.co.uk you get 30m results, whilst "Gay Microsoft" gets just 12m results. Hence Apple is gayer than Microsoft. Fact. And this little site tests the comparative gayness of everything. With pie-charts for extra win.

The Astounding World of the Future...

A funny mid-20th century newsreel featuring amazingly accurate predictions of the year 2000? Or, just a funny joke that won the Best Short Film at the New York Comedy Film Festival?

iPhone OS 3.0 Software Update (here at last)...

Got it installed and loving it (so far).

iPhone OS 3.0 Software Update

This update contains over 100 new features, including the following:

• Cut, Copy & Paste with shake to undo
• Landscape keyboard in key applications
• Enhanced Messages application
- Send and receive photos, contacts, audio files, and location via MMS*
- Forward and delete single or multiple messages
• Added search feature in Mail, Calendar, Notes and iPod
• Spotlight search across iPhone
• Support for CalDAV and subscriptions in Calendar
• Improvements to Safari
- Performance
- HTML 5 support
- HTTP Streaming audio and video
- Auto-fill usernames and passwords
• New Voice Memos application
• Sync Notes with a Mac or PC via iTunes
• Internet Tethering over USB and Bluetooth*
• Browse and download movies, TV shows, and audiobooks from the iTunes Store**
• Stereo Bluetooth***
• Wi-Fi auto login
• Enhanced Stocks application
• More Parental Control options for Apps, Music, Movies and TV Shows
• iTunes account creation and login**
• YouTube account login and access to subscriptions, ratings and favorites**
• Shake to shuffle
• New languages, dictionaries, and keyboards
• Find my iPhone and Remote Wipe via MobileMe (subscription required)**
• Support for more Exchange policies
• Create and send Exchange meeting invitations
• Search mail on server (Exchange Server 2007 and supported IMAP servers)
• Search LDAP company directory
• VPN on demand and VPN proxy support
• Encrypted configuration profiles
• Encrypted iTunes backups
• 1,000 new developer APIs, including:
- In App Purchases
- Apple Push Notification Service
- Accessories support
- Peer to Peer Connectivity
- Embedded Maps
- iPod Library Access
• Bug fixes

Products compatible with this software update:
• iPhone
• iPhone 3G
• iPhone 3G S

* Compatible only with iPhone 3G and iPhone 3G S and requires support from your wireless provider.
** Not available in all regions or in all languages.
*** Compatible only with iPhone 3G and iPhone 3G S.

For feature descriptions and complete instructions, see the user guide for your iPhone at:


For more information about iPhone, go to:


To troubleshoot your iPhone, or to view additional support information go to:


For information on the security content of this update, please visit this website:

iPhone OS 3.0...

The iPhone OS 3.0 should be out today. Yay! O2 say that they will support picture messaging (MMS) and Internet tethering (using your iPhone as a modem for your computer) on day one.

This tethering lark ain't cheap though. Monthly subscribers will pay £14.68 per month for 3GB and £29.36 for 10GB, with a 19.6p surcharge for every megabyte over their limit! Ker-ching! Business customers will pay comparable rates depending upon the plan they choose.

And it's even worse if you've travelling - surely just the time when you'd want to use it most... It'll cost £2.94 a MB in the EU and a whopping £6 a MB everywhere else.

Hayfever vs a cold...

A few weeks ago I caught a cold. A nasty cold that Lemsip, Day Nurse and all manner of other pills and potions just wouldn't shift. Bah!

It just so happened that that same week I was going to have my eyes tested. "Oh dear", said the optician upon inspecting my peepers. "I can see you suffer from hayfever. You top and bottom eyelids are really red." And being an expert I guess she knew what she was talking about on the red eye front.

I was flabbergasted. I don't suffer from hayfever. Well, I never have done before. Well, I don't think I have. But I know it can develop later in life. So maybe this was it. I would be henceforth forever cursed with sneezing, that bunged up feeling and itchy eyes.

So how do you know if you have actually hayfever or a cold?

The acid test is... do you have green snot?

Hayfever gives every impression of being a cold but WITHOUT the green snot. Hayfever is basically your immune system going into overdrive believing (incorrectly) that your body has an infection so you get all those wretched fever-like symptoms (hence the name) as your body spins it's wheels in the dirt trying and punch thin air as it tries to fight something you don't actually have. It's just as bad as a cold but not actually a cold.

However if you DO have green snot you have an infection i.e. a cold.

AEG L16850...

I've recently bought a new washer-dryer - a free standing 1600 rpm washer dryer in white. The AEG L16850.

It came out as the Best Buy in Which guide's survey with a score of 75% saying, "The Best Buy AEG Electrolux L16850 is one of the best washer-dryers we’ve seen, combining excellent washing results with impressive drying speed."

The cheapest seller (that I had actually heard of) was Sainsbury's. They delivered it on time (two days from ordering it), unpacked it, installed it and took my old one away. So I'm very happy with it. And them.

Now to wrestle with the controls...

As You Like It...

On Saturday night David S, Joao, Pano, David C, Ian and I went to watch As You Like It at The Globe on London's glitzy South Bank.

Admission was just a fiver for standing in the yard and it was well worth it. It was my first time at The Globe and what a great place it is; roomy, welcoming and great sight lines. As we were in the pit we were pretty much right in the middle of the action too.

As the game of love unfolded between Orlando and the disguised Rosalind in the enchanting Forest of Arden we were equally enchanted. The production was excellent; well acted, clearly spoken and convincingly conveyed.

We'll certainly be going back.

Jersey Boys...

Last night Stu and I went to see the musical Jersey Boys - The Story of Frankie Valli and The Four Seasons at the Prince Edward Theatre in Soho's glitzy West End.

We'd got the tickets as part of a meal/theatre deal from lastminute.com which can be quite a cheap way to a) eat, and b) see a show. As long as you don't top load on drinks and buy a theatre program as part of your evening's festivities, of course. The meal was at Bertorelli's in Frith Street and to be honest it was pretty so-so. As Stu's main turned up stone cold we got our drinks for free plus a side order of chips thrown in.

The Jersey Boys show itself was good. Perhaps a little bit too heavy on plot and a little too light on music but enjoyable all the same. For example it took a little under fifty minutes before the first Four Seasons song was performed. I think most people wanted to come and hear the songs - not the history of the group acted out at lightning speed. Still, as I say, it was good.

The story itself tells of Frankie Valli (actually born Francis Castelluccio in 1937) growing up on the wrong side of the tracks in New Jersey. He joined an existing singing group which failed an audition at a bowling alley. They then renamed the band The Four Seasons after that bowling alley and from that point on never really looked back.

They invented their own unique falsetto sound and had a string of hits - going on to become one of the most successful bands in pop music history. Via run-ins with the Mafia, a touch of betrayal, a bit of love and a spot of revenge they made it big. Very big. In fact they sold over 100 million records worldwide and were eventually inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame. Not bad for four New Jersey boys.

Songs included in the show are; Beggin’, Dawn (Go Away), Can’t Take My Eyes Off You, Walk Like A Man, Bye Bye Baby (Baby Goodbye), Sherry, Big Girls Don’t Cry, My Eyes Adored You, Let's Hang On, Rag Doll, Who Loves You, Working My Way Back to You and of course the wonderful December 1963 (Oh, What a Night).

Walk It...

Just recently Stuart has got me into using the Walk It web site. It's an urban walking route planner that works out the best way to walk from A to B with options for less busy routes and lower polution routes.

So a few weeks ago I started walking home from work - just once a week mind you - to see how it went. And do you know what? I really enjoyed it. So much so I'm now walking home two or three times a week. Hopefully I'll start walking to work soon too.

Here are the stats for my journey:

Distance
3.9 miles / 6.3 km / 6930 steps
Time
59 mins (fast) / 1 hr 18 mins (med) / 1 hr 58 mins (slow)
Calories
374 Cal (fast) / 332 Cal (med) / 320 Cal (slow)
CO2 Avoided
0.5 kg tube / 1.3 kg car / 0.68 kg bus

Tube Strike...

I got up early this morning intending to walk to work due to tube strike. However my iPhone app told me that the Victoria Line would be part running so I took a chance on it.

The station was empty, the platform was empty, the train arrived promptly and the carriage was empty. Some stations closed so journey was even quicker than usual.

This pic is a snapshot of what the status was when I was coming to work. Click on the pic and click here for the latest live update.

iPhone OS 3.0 and iPhone 3GS...

iPhone OS 3.0 will be available for free to all iPhone users (3G and original). Available worldwide on June 17th.

The new version of the iPhone -- iPhone 3GS. S stands for speed.

Now featuers 3MP auto-focus camera. Tap on the part of the photo you want to focus, and it automatically does so.

Can be controlled by voice and talk back to its owner about the music it is playing.

Camera application has a switch that lets you swap between still photo to video mode. 30FPS, VGA with audio, auto-focus, white balance etc

Improved battery life. Now up to 9 hrs of internet surfing, 10 hrs of video, 30 hrs of audio, 12 hrs of 2G talk-time, 5 hrs of 3G talk-time.

The iPhone 3GS will be available on June 19th in 16Gb ($199 in the US) and 32Gb ($299 in the US) versions. The old 3G will stay - 8Gb version only - at a much reduced cost ($99 in the US).

100 Movies Lines In 200 Seconds...

Big Brother 10...

And so it begins. Three months of wall-to-wall coverage of the BB10 housemates on Channel 4.

And I have to say, I quite like them this year. They seem more fun, somehow.

Fav to win: Rodrigo "He hugs! He kisses! He touches! It’s a cultural thing. Or so he says…"

Early twat: a tie between Saivash and Angel

The Splits..

I phoned the local gym yesterday and I asked if they could teach me how to do the splits.

They asked, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays or Thursdays."

Boom, boom.

Vote Early, Vote Often...

Apparently I'm a staunch Labour voter. Which is probably about right. So I shall be looking forward to an humiliating defeat later!

Shake Your Tail Feather...

Last night the gang all went to Shake Your Tail Feather down at the RVT. The super sexy DJ Juggy was spinning the discs; Motown, Northern Soul, 60s, Girl Groups, Sixties Soul and Stax.

We had a rare old time and it was good to meet new faces as well as old.

How about a regular SYTF club night Juggy?

Project Natal...

"Introducing Project Natal, a revolutionary new way to play: no controller required. See a ball? Kick it, hit it, trap it or catch it. If you know how to move your hands, shake your hips or speak ..."

Swearing in the Guardian...

The wonderful Tom> has used it's API to search for and show in a graph the rise in the use of swearing in the Guardian newspaper over the past ten years. Excellent.

Jim's 40th...

On Saturday night Stu and I went to help Jim celebrate his 40th birthday at The Brickhouse in London's fashionable Brick Lane.

We had a great time chatting, drinking, dancing and watching the show; aerial circus Leo and Yam and juggler/fire man Dave.

Some snaps are below and more here.

Why Did PSB's Yes *Not* Reach Number One?...

The Pet Shop Boys recent album Yes reached #4 in the UK album charts on March 29, 2009. This was the Pet Shop Boys' highest placing since their 1996 album Bilingual. All well and good. It's a great album and it deserved a high chart placing.

However early sales figures had predicted that the album would actually enter at #1, but a series of blunders by record label Parlophone rendered a number of sales ineligible for the chart. These included allowing 2,500 copies of the album to be bought digitally online three days before release date, as well as stock level problems with a number of suppliers, which affected sales and chart placement.

To add insult to injury Parlophone screwed up on some of the booklets that shipped with the Yes etc. double CD set - it had pages in the wrong order. EMI have set up a website for people affected by this to claim a new booklet. Which did work for me.

So PSB have been cheated out of a #1 album by their own record label. They should cause a pandemonium.

It's A Crime...

Do you live in London and ever wondered what crime might be happening in your area? Well he's a map of notified crimes in London listing what type of crime is was, the crime rate and how it compares to the previous month.

Sleep...

Here are my top ten tips on how to get a good night's sleep.

1. Bath - have warm bath before bed. It's the drop in body temperature that actually brings on sleep.
2. Bedroom - only use the bedroom for sleep. Go to bed and get up at the same each day.
3. Nap - it you want to and work allows it. But for an hour and between 2pm-5pm only.
4. Snoring - over the counter remedies can help. My preferred one is Breathe Right
5. Coffee / Alcohol - avoid both at least four hours before bedtime. Coffee is a stimulant so will keep you awake and alcohol may help you fall asleep but not to stay asleep.
6. Light - keep curtains drawn at night. A good way to wake up is to use blue light; it reduces melatonine (sleep) levels.
7. Food - simple rule: carbs make you sleepy, protein keep you more alert. Don't eat four hours before bed.
8. Jetlag - starve yourself on the flight so your normally dormant hunger clock dominates your body clock. Then eat at normal time to reset body clock. Job done.
9. Stress - tense and release the body muscles one group at a time helps you relax. It works for me and I can get to sleep within minutes.
10. Herbs - lavendar and valerian may help you relax. Use them in that bath I mentioned earlier.

Sister Act...

On Friday night Andy, Kev, Stu and I went to see Sister Act at the Palladium in London's glitzy West End.

When disco diva Deloris Van Cartier witnesses a murder, she is put in protective custody in the one place cops are sure she won't be found - a convent. Disguised as a nun, she finds herself at odds with both the rigid lifestyle and an uptight Mother Superior. Using her unique disco moves and singing talent to inspire the choir, Deloris breathes new life into the church and community, but in doing so blows her cover. Soon the gang are giving chase, only to find themselves up against Deloris and the power of her new found Sister Hood.

Based on the smash-hit movie, Sister Act features a brand new score by eight time Oscar winner Alan Menken whose credits include Little Shop of Horrors, Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin, The Little Mermaid and my favourite The Hunchback of Notre Dame.

It was fab, camp as tits and full of glitter - mixing as it did classic styled show tunes with Motown style disco numbers. A winning combination. A real big girls night out. Go see.

Arsenal 4-1 Stoke...

Paul couldn't make it to the last game of the season so I took Sarah along. It was right old party atmosphere; marching, chanting, riot police, police vans, horses charging, high spirited scarf waving. The full works.

The boys did good too. A good game and a well deserved score line.

Roll on next season.

The Hunt For Gollum...

You're a big fan of The Lord of the Rings books and films, right?

You have no more than £3000 to spare, right?

You'd think about making your own film, right?

Maybe set it between The Hobbit and The Fellowship of the Ring?

Well, it's just what these guys did with The Hunt For Gollum.

Online only. By fans. For fans. And really pretty good.

London Audio Guide...

A reader writes:

Hi Jonathan,
I very much enjoy reading your blog. I have just launched a new website which I think your readers may be interested in. The site provides audio commentary on lots of London's top landmarks and is free to use - visitors use a map of London to pick sites and listen to tips, interesting facts and history. If you would like to check it out the site is at www.ComeAwayWithMe.co.uk/LondonAudioGuide
Kind regards,
Daniel

And very useful it looks too.

Angels & Demons...

On Sunday night Stu and I went to see Angels & Demons at the Vue in Islington.

There was lots of running around in Rome and pointing at statues. It was amazingly implausible. It was popcorn pap. And do you know what? We both really enjoyed it.

Roll on The Lost Symbol.

Star Trek (again)...

Andy treated Kev, Stu, me, Guy, Cesar, David, Ian et al to a night at the movies on Monday night. We went to see JJ Abrams's prequel Star Trek at the IMAX.

It was great to see it again, catching many of the nuances I'd missed at first viewing. Although as I said before:

The plot... fresh from Starfleet Academy, James T. Kirk, Spock, and the rest of the Enterprise crew must stop Nero, a Romulan from the future whose quest for vengeance threatens the entire universe.

Set phasers to... post-modern script, very funny (no really), painfully good-looking and deeply sexy cast, 1960s highly-colourised styling

For the fans... in-jokes aplenty, faithful to (but not constricted by) creator Gene Roddenberry's canon.

For the neo-fans... assumes no previous knowledge, looks a bit like Cloverfield meets Starship Troopers meets X-Files meets Batman TV series

Sequel?... two are due. Can't wait.

Is Zachary Quinto aka Sylar aka Spock Gay?...

A couple of years ago there was some spectulation (not least by this very organ) as to whetherZachary Quinto is gay or not.

I can't say one way or the other for definite but...

My mates Luca and Stuart met him in a gay bar in New York. 


Also a few years back Zachary Quinto starred as Tori Spelling's gay best friend in So NoTORIous - out on DVD or you can download from iTunes.

The episodes that are perhaps of most interst are called Whole and Relaxed. The former is where Zachary Quinto character has a bit of man-on-man action in a sauna. He's a good actor, right?

Oh yes, apparently Chris Pine got the James T. Kirk gig on the new Star Trek film because he goes to the same gym as ZQ. Or as ZQ put it in a recent interview with a grin, "Chris and I met at the gym".

"Would you like some sweets, Willy?"...

Last Friday night David, Ian, Stu and I went to the Bloomsbury Ballroom to see Saint Etienne perform their 1991 album Foxbase Alpha live.

The Bloomsbury Ballroom is a rather lovely art deco venue which is just a perfect size for bands. Not too big, not too small. Now if only the bar hadn't run out of beer...

Saint Etienne were, as ever, quite brilliant. And Foxbase Alpha is, of course, a sublime debut recording. So we were, as you might imagine, pretty relieved that it was so faithfully reproduced for us on Friday - samples and all.

"Would you like some sweets, Willy? Would you like some sweets, Willy?"

"Come on, auntie, we'll miss the bus!"

Foxbase Alpha has been rereleased this week with some extra tracks and b-sides.

Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus...

Stuff Terminator Salvation and Star Trek, this is what true sci-fi movie buffs have been waiting for...Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus. Any film which shows a Mega Shark biting an airliner gets my vote. And it's got Debbie Gibson in it! Straight to DVD sadly.

Pet Shop Boys - Did You See Me Coming?...

Pet Shop Boys release their new single Did You See Me Coming? on Parlophone Records on June 1st. It's probably my favourite track on the Yes album.

The formats of Did You See Me Coming? feature brand new tracks After The event, The Former Enfant Terrible and Up And Down which do not feature on the album.

There is also a new mix of album track The Way It Used To Be by Richard X. The Brits Medley, produced by Stuart Price, which was originally performed in February when Pet Shop Boys received the award for Outstanding Contribution to Music, is also released in one of the digital bundles due to popular demand.

The album Yes has been a top 5 hit across Europe, and has been released in the USA this week. USA Today in its review of the album says: “Pet Shop Boys ‘Yes’ just affirms their greatness”.

Pet Shop Boys kick off their world tour in Russia on June 10th. They play Manchester Apollo on June 18th and London’s O2 Arena on June 19th (we're deffo going to that one!). Both UK dates are sold out. They will be headlining Latitude festival on July 17th.

Tracklistings:

2-track CD
1."Did you see me coming?"
2."After the event"

Maxi CD
1."Did you see me coming?" (PSB 12" mix)
2."The former enfant terrible"
3."Up and down"

12" Vinyl
1."Did you see me coming?" (PSB 12" mix)
2."Did you see me coming?" (Unicorn Kid mix)
3."The way it used to be" (Richard X mix)

Digital bundle 1
1."Did you see me coming?"
2.Pet Shop Boys Brit Awards medley

Digital bundle 2
1."Did you see me coming?" (Unicorn Kid mix)
2."The way it used to be" (Richard X mix)

Digital bundle 3
1."Did you see me coming?" (PSB 12" mix)
2."The former enfant terrible" (Bring it on mix)

Arsenal 1-4 Chelsea...

Paul and I thought we'd mix things up a bit in the second half at the Emirates Stadium last Sunday (shame Wenger didn't do the same).

We swapped seats with a couple of people in block six - the REDAction über-fan area - to see what it was like. We loved it. Better view. Better atmos. Better tattoos. We'll see if the guys want to make it a permanent arrangement for next season.

In prep we'll be practising the chants.

Les Misérables...

On Saturday night Stu and I went to see the phenomenon that is Les Misérables at the Queen's Theatre in London's glitzy West End. We'd both seen Les Mis many times before but as it was our anniversary night out we thought we'd treat ourselves again.

When the show was at The Palace Theatre many years ago it had had a distinctly Gallic feel (hello? it is set in nineteenth century France), a cast of thousands (well, it seemed like it at the time) and rousing anthems sung by the ensemble throughout.

This time around it seemed an altogether smaller production; just twenty-eight in the cast, the accents were slightly more Plaidstow than Paris and the songs seem to have lost some of their shine as the chorus has dwindled. Still, we loved it and I found myself singing along to On My Own, Red and Black and of course the wonderful I Dreamed a Dream. Marvelous.

The Tiger Lillies...

Last Friday night Stu and I popped into London's glitzy West End to the New Players Theatre to see the Tiger Lillies perform Songs of Shockheaded Peter and Other Gory Verses.

We'd seen The Tiger Lillies do a guest spot with Justin Bond last year and a full gig three years ago so we knew what to expect; the white-paint faced, bowler hatted and ear-splitting falsetto voiced singer Martyn Jacques with the saw-twanging and drumming of the two Adrians - Stout and Huge (not their real names, surely.)

The trio's consummate musicianship coupled with their own particular style of Brechtian cabaret meant the night was as entertaining musically as it was shocking for it's content. You see the Tiger Lillies aren't exactly known for their soft choices of subject matter.

Dr. Heinrich Hoffmann, a Frankfurt 'medical man of the lunatic asylum', wrote and illustrated The Struwwelpeter (Shockheaded Peter) more than 150 years ago because he couldn't find anything on the shelves to fire the imagination of (and terrify) his children. And he did a pretty good job too. Martyn Jacques wrote music to this and so was born Shockheaded Peter. It was this that was the core of the material played on Friday night.

A boy who sucked his thumbs had then cut off. A boy who forever gazed skyward fell down a river bank and drowned. A pig who learned to read was slaughtered. A girl of loose morals died of a nasty disease. Call them fables... call them morality tales... they made us laugh and laugh.

Trekkies Bash New Star Trek Film...

News from the Onion News Network - trekkies bash new Star Trek film.
[Thanks Sparky]

Star Trek...

Sparky treated me to a night at the movies last night. And not just any old movie. It was the rebooted, revisited, JJ Abrams's prequel Star Trek at the IMAX.

We both loved it.

The screening... as it was a preview the cinema was packed with geeks (many of them gay) who all duly switched off their iPhones at the last minute (mainly Facebook and Twitter we noticed)

The plot... fresh from Starfleet Academy, James T. Kirk, Spock, and the rest of the Enterprise crew must stop Nero, a Romulan from the future whose quest for vengeance threatens the entire universe.

Set phasers to... post-modern script, very funny (no really), painfully good-looking and deeply sexy cast, 1960s highly-colourised styling

For the fans... in-jokes aplenty, faithful to (but not constricted by) creator Gene Roddenberry's canon.

For the neo-fans... assumes no previous knowledge, looks a bit like Cloverfield meets Starship Troopers meets X-Files meets Batman TV series

Sequel... two are due. Can't wait.

Three Years In...

It's Stu and my third anniversary today. The last three years have flown by.

Bendtner Caught With His Trousers Down...

Bendtner is caught with his trousers down and then makes an apology.
[Thanks Mark]

Kenyan Arsenal Fan Hangs Himself...

Blimey. Kenyan Arsenal fan hangs himself.

Arsenal 1-3 Man Utd (agg 1-4)...

Paul and I had high hopes but low expectations as we made our way to the Emirates last night. Every seat had a flag on it that we waved madly. Sadly eleven minutes later it was all over. Still, we enjoyed it - even in defeat. You learn to do that supporting Arsenal. I took some snaps too.

My First Dictionary...

A child's first dictionary spoof that introduces baby to a world comically full of sadness and woe. My first dictionary. Today's word is 'paste'. Fab.

Bourgeois and Maurice...

On Friday night Stu and I went to see alternative cabaret singer-songwriters Bourgeois and Maurice at the Soho Theatre in London's glitzy West End.

Stu really liked them. I, on the other hand, thought they were laboured and unfunny. The duo are obviously good musicians and they had some good ideas. They just need to be funnier. Their targets were way too broad and their wit, such as it was, utterly misfired. Perhaps they need a skilled director to focus their talents more keenly.

Snooze rating: 8 (I almost dropped off to sleep from boredom surrounded as I was by occasional luke warm applause)

Come back Kiki and Herb.

The Mummers...

Last night Paul treated Simon, Stu and I to a trip to see The Mummers perform at the ICA in London's glitzy West End.

The Mummers whe were there promoting their new, rather fabulous, reissued and reimagined album Tale to Tell. The previous incarnation being Tale to Tell (part one)

The blurb in Time Out says, "Dazzlingly accomplished headline spot from Brighton's orchestral pop outfit The Mummers, whose witty and sophisticated, showtune sounds recall Portishead, Björk, St Etienne, Goldfrapp and Lisa Minnelli and recently earned them a slot on 'Later With Jools Holland'." And I 100% agree. They were brilliant. Think Madonna's Dear Jessie or Prince's Christopher Tracy's Parade.

Marc Almond Tour...

ORPHEUS IN EXILE
Marc has decided to delay the release of his new album, Orpheus In Exile, until September. Marc feels it makes more sense to proceed the Autumn tour with the album for maximum exposure of both album and tour.

AUTUMN TOUR
The Autumn shows will be diverse in the choice of material; Marc will be debuting some new songs from his forthcoming album currently being recorded (due for release in 2010), as well as some back catalogue favourites not played for a while and, of course, some old favourites without which a Marc Almond concert wouldn't be a Marc Almond concert so everybody, he hopes, will be satisfied and enjoy the shows.

The confirmed dates for the Autumn tour are below (please note the new telephone number for Leeds Grand Theatre, the phone number previously sent out no longer works!)

29 October - Birmingham Alexandra Theatre (0870 607 7533)
30 October - Manchester Academy 2 (0161 832 1111)
1 November - London Roundhouse (0844 482 8008)
3 November - Bournemouth Opera House (08700 600 100)
4 November - Leeds Grand Theatre (0113 222 6222)

Tickets available online from www.gigsandtours.com and from the 24 hour credit card hotline on 0871 2200 260.

Please note that tickets do not go on sale until 9am on Friday 1 May - please do not ring venue box offices or ticket lines before this time.

EDF Energy...

EDF Energy deigned to give me a refund to my electricity bill of £265.54 a few days ago. Money that they had overcharged me over the past three months. The swines! (An insult that has some resonance of late).

Jesusophile...

I love his forward head nods at the end of each video as if to say, "I'm right, aren't I?" Got to be a joke right?

If not, he's a sick man. Watch Jesusophile's musing on a vagina full of AIDS and why atheists' arguments don't work.

Swine 'Flu / Overreaction...

The internet has responded to the absolutely positively inevitable pandemic of swine flu with typical restraint and a decent sense of proportion, providing everything from context-sensitive maps to an iPhone application for those preparing to flee for the hills.

The irksome fact that the majority of people who contract the new H1N1 flu strain get a bit peaky and then recover provides no reason not to panic, and Web 2.0 is ready to provide you with up-to-the second updates in case you're starting to get relaxed about the whole issue.

Swine 'Flu / Let's Shoot The Messenger...

Someone on the tube this morning had a face mask on with a Metro under his arm reading 'pig flu could kill millions'. I wanted to punch him.

If the media is to be believed we're in for Black Death 2.0. I have just one thing to say to that. Y2K.

Let's shoot the messenger!

Sky News, BBC News, CNN, ITN, Fox News (especially Fox News!) let's line them all up and shoot them all!

I think there's plenty of guilt to go around. Perhaps BBC Three's 60 Second News team could be spared - to be used later as our Let's Shoot The Messenger Ministry of Information.

I'm too much of a realist to by an optimist and too much of a cynic to be a realist. Life is shit and then you die. On the plus side however death will be slightly more pleasurable than listening to another scare story about swine 'flu!

Let's. Shoot. The. Messenger.

Windows XP Mode for Windows 7...

Techy item to follow so look away now if you're not into that sort of stuff.

Windows 7 is on the way. But what about backward compatibility? Well, Microsoft have a (long over-due) trick up their sleeve: Windows XP Mode (XPM) for Windows 7.

XPM consists of the Virtual PC-based virtual environment and a fully licensed copy of Windows XP with Service Pack 3 (SP3). It will be made available, for free, to users of Windows 7 Professional, Enterprise, and Ultimate editions via a download from the Microsoft web site. (That is, it will not be included in the box with Windows 7, but is considered an out-of-band update, like Windows Live Essentials.) XPM works much like today's Virtual PC products, but with one important exception: As with the enterprise-based MED-V (Microsoft Enterprise Desktop Virtualization) product, XPM does not require you to run the virtual environment as a separate Windows desktop. Instead, as you install applications inside the virtual XP environment, they are published to the host (Windows 7) OS as well. (With shortcuts placed in the Start Menu.) That way, users can run Windows XP-based applications (like IE 6) alongside Windows 7 applications under a single desktop.

Obviously, XPM has huge ramifications for Windows going forward. By removing the onus of legacy application compatibility from the OS, Microsoft can strip away deadwood technology from future versions of Windows at a speedier clip, because customers who need to run older applications can simply do so with XPM. For Windows 7 specifically, XPM is a huge convenience, especially for Microsoft's corporate customers, who can of course control XPM behavior via standard Microsoft administration and management technologies like Active Directory (AD) and Group Policy (GP). And it significantly recasts the Windows 7 compatibility picture. Before, Microsoft could claim that Windows 7 would be at least as compatible as Windows Vista. Now, they can claim almost complete Windows XP compatibility, or almost 100 percent compatibility with all currently running Windows applications.

Now that has to be a good thing. Now where did I put those legacy apps...?

Sniff Swig Puff...

Bea Arthur RIP. I used to love Bea's Dorothy Zbornak character in The Golden Girls. Brilliant. But that was nothing compared to her preceding eponymous Maude Findlay character and it's manic theme music. Sublime. Maude repeats please.

In the meantime, how about this marvellous clip of two gay icons singing about recreational drug use.


[Thanks David]

Arsenal 2-0 Middlesbrough...

It was a lovely sunny day, our spirits were high and the boys didn't disappoint. We outclassed them today. Middlesbrough are going down.

Missing Link Answer...

9p. Break open each one of the pieces of a single three-link chain completely (3p) and rejoin each through two other ends (6p).

Missing Link...

A little quiz for Friday. If it costs a penny to break a link, and two pence to weld it again, what is the least it would cost to join in a single length of chain the five segments shown here?

Mobius Strip...

Why did the mobius strip cross the road?

To get to the other s..., er... oh.

Sellotape on the Door Lock...

How weird is this? I got home last night and the Yale lock on my front door had a piece of sellotape over it. Clear sellotape. That's odd, I thought.

Now this got me thinking. Why would somebody do that? Local kids mucking about? Well, no. I'd have thought they'd do something a bit more 'out there' than tape over a door lock.

Then at 5am this morning it occurred to me. That's exactly what a burglar would do if they were 'casing the joint'. Put a piece of sellotape over a lock and if it's still there a day or so later then the people who lived there must be away.

So at 5am I was bolt upright in bed thinking, "Shit! We're going to be burgled!"

Me being me, I couldn't get back to sleep afterwards so I got up.

So now I'm sort of in two minds. Should I just ignore it or should I perhaps let neighbourhood watch or the local constabulary know? Or am I just being paranoid?

Liverpool 4-4 Arsenal...

What an amazing game it was last night. With a much depleted side we went into the game expecting to lose. And Liverpool were way the better side on the night too. So imagine our surprise when not only did we score any goals at all but four. All coming from the same player, Arshavin. A clasic match.

Nouvelle Vague...

Last Friday Stu and went to the NFT to see a couple of French films in their Nouvelle Vague season.

The first was Zazie dans le Métro (1960). A really sweet (and funny) story of how provincial 12 year-old Zazie stays in Paris with her Uncle Gabriel (a female impersonator) for two days, while her mother spends some time with her lover. Zazie manages to evade her uncle's custody, however, and, métro strike notwithstanding, sets out to explore the city on her own. It is a hilarious story not too distant from a Carry On film at times in it's absurdity. Much of the film is shot as a pastiche of other film styles - slapstick, jump-cut and cartoon being the obvious ones. We loved it.

The second film we saw was And God Created Woman (Et Dieu… créa la femme) (1956) a starlet vehicle for director Roger Vadim's nubile missus Brigitte Bardot. The film tells the story of Juliette, an 18-year old orphan with a high level of sexual energy. Barefooted she captivates all the men around her - jealousy and social commentary abound. Fab. The scene of Bardot dancing barefoot on a table is arguably one of the sexiest scenes put on celluloid.

J.G. Ballard RIP...

One of my favourite authors J. G. Ballard has died. Among many of his wonderful works is one of my favourites, The Unlimited Dream Company.