OK I was drunk and it seemed like a good idea at the time.
To explain... it was last Saturday night and we'd had a boozy time at Soho Pride (see below). We'd retired to The Kings Arms in Poland Street to mingle with The Bears and collect our thought (sic). The problem (if making a fool of yourself in public is a 'problem') was that next door to The Kings Arms is a glass-fronted wine bar called The Potters Bar (geddit?!) and that night it was (as Mark soon spotted) holding a straight Speed Dating night. There were 39 women and 35 men all spending three minute dates with each other and then making notes as to whether they would like to see each other again. If you fancied someone AND they fancied you then the organisers would send each of you the other's e-mail address. You only get one e-mail address max. from the night though (you are looking for love, right?).
You may ask yourself how come I know so much about how all this speed dating works. Well, that's because I took part. No, really.
About halfway through the proceedings - after lots of hand-waving and thumbs up / thumbs down to the women through the pavement-facing windows indicating which men we thought were cute and which were not - one of the women, Lesley, came out and said, "there are no cute men in here - why don't you come in and join us?". "But I'm gay", I protested. "We don't care", she replied, "it'll be a laugh" and dragged me in - much to the amusement of my fellow onlookers. Mark smiled and shook his head with amused resignation. He knew better than to protest when I'm on a roll.
So for 40 minutes I chatted to Les Girls, speed-dated three women AND three men and basically had a riot. I asked them their names, what they did for a living, where they lived and whether they were good in bed (hey, I'd had a belly full of beer and wasn't going to mess about with too much chit-chat). On the whole they were surprisingly frank.
Finally Mark came to pull me out of there. He knew when I'd had enough. So I reluctantly bid my farewells. I didn't hand my score card in at the end though as it seemed a little unfair that I hadn't paid my £11 entrance fee. Besides, the option of "wants to date a straight woman and/or man and am in a long-term gay relationship" didn't seem to appear as one of the boxes to be ticked in the "What I'm looking for" section on the back of the profile card.
So wanna know my scores for the six people I dated?
Badge : Name : Comments
17 : Lesley : Fantastic! 34, bit desperate.
18 : Sharon : Again fantastic! BBC.
32 : Andrej : Friendly. Nice arse. Works for AP.
33 : Helen : In the window. Stunner. Too good for me.
19 : Paul : Quite cute. Gay? Stratford :(
14 : Johnathan : Nice packet. Up-tight. Elvis lips.