Quote Of The Day

"Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake - Chessmaster Savielly Grigorievitch Tartakower (1887-1956)"

Wednesday, April 14, 2004

Money, money, money...
Bank teller: Next!
Me: Hello.
Bank teller: Hello.
Me: I'd like to buy some Turkish Lira, please.
Bank teller: Italian Lira.
Me: No, Turkish Lira. Turkish.
Bank teller (slowly): Turkish... Lira...
Me: Yes.
Bank teller: You... want... to.. buy... some... Turkisk... Lira...
Me: Yes...
Bank teller: You can't buy it, sir. You mean you want to exchange it. You want to exchange some Turkish Lira.
Me: Well, Ok. Yes. I want to exchange some Turkish Lira. Well, I actually want to exchange some pound notes into some Turkish Lira.
Bank teller: Pound... notes...?
Me: I give you stirling, you give me Turkish money. Yes?
Bank teller: And how much would you like to exchange, sir?
Me: Half a billion, please .
Bank teller: Half... a billion...?
Me: Yes, I want half a billion Turkish Lira. 500 million.
Bank teller (sniggering): Wait a minute please, sir.
(Bank teller disappears for long period of time. Eventually returning with bank manager)
Bank manager: Can I help you, sir?
Me: Yes, as I was explaining to that chap there I 'd like to get some Turkish Lira. About 500 million if you've got it.
Bank manager (eying me suspiciously): Do you bank with us, sir?
Me: Yes, I do.
(pause)
Me: You do know that 500 million Turkish Lira is only about £200, don't you? Two and half billion Lira to the pound. 25% annual inflation.
(pause)
Bank manager: I'll have to check.
(Bank manager disappears, bank teller asks me to move to one side so he can serve next customer)
Bank teller: Next!
Next customer: Hello.
Bank teller: Hello.
(Some time passes before bank manager returns)
Bank manager: I'm sorry sir we don't hold that sort of amount here. Have you tried a Bureau De Change?
Me: Not I haven't. No.
Bank manager: Your best bet I think, sir.
Me: Oh, OK. Thanks. Goodbye.
Bank manager: Goodbye, sir.

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