overyourhead

Bizzarre exchange of e-mails...
From: "Peter Yapp"
To: "Jonathan"
Sent: Friday, January 24, 2003 2:03 PM
Subject: Citroen CX

Dear Jonathan - If you are the Jonathan Hellyer who enquired so entertainingly about my CX, please contact me asap. I regret I have mislaid your phone number.

If you are still interested in the car (price to you nominal - something for the unexpired tax disc I should think) you should know: the clutch is slipping - probably not worn out but damaged by leak from gasket in gear-box. This is in due course an engine-out job. There is also a worn bearing in the gear-box, audible to my mechanic, but not yet critical. Rear wheel-bearings need replacement shortly. Otherwise drives beatifully still. Engine has been detuned to run on leadfree - which may cause problems in the long run. Boot lid and bonnet need extensive cosmetics at front edge of bonnet and bottom of boot-lid. Previous erosion patched inside bottom corner
of driver's door. Otherwise body pretty good, if filthy. MOT to late March. Taxed to August, I think. It still belongs to me but is in a dealer's yard from which it will go to the crusher, probably, in a couple of weeks, if not rescued. At 131,000 plus miles, I decided I could not justify further expense, and have moved on, reluctantly, to a slightly newer Citroen. The car is yours if you want it (I hate the idea of its demise). I have already had a discount equivalent to a part-exchange sale.

My mobile number is probably the quickest way to reach me, but try belt and braces approach in doubt.

All good wishes - and if you are not Jonathan Hellyer, midwife and comedian, please accept my apologies for this contact.

Peter Yapp


From: "Jonathan Green"
To: "Peter Yapp"
Sent: Friday, January 24, 2003 2:08 PM
Subject: Citroen CX

Not me.

Jonathan (Green)


From: "Peter Yapp"
To: "Jonathan"
Sent: Friday, January 24, 2003 2:10 PM
Subject: Citroen error

Whoops, you're the wrong Jonathan (in this instance). Can you give me a clue as to where to find the right one? - Apologies!

Peter Yapp


From: "Jonathan Green"
To: "Peter Yapp"
Sent: Friday, January 24, 2003 2:13 PM
Subject: Citroen error

No, sorry. But being a midwife and a comedian maybe you might find him in the Novelty Acts section of Time Out.

Jonathan (Green)


From: "Peter Yapp"
To: "Jonathan"
Sent: Friday, January 24, 2003 2:15 PM
Subject: Citroen error

Sorry to trouble you.

Peter Yapp


From: "Jonathan Green"
To: "Peter Yapp"
Sent: Friday, January 24, 2003 2:20 PM
Subject: Citroen error

Hang on, you must mean Jonathan Hellyner a.k.a The Dame Edna Experience ex of Bronski Beat. Try the Royal Vauxhall Tavern on a Sunday afternoon.

Jonathan (Green)

UPDATE: I told Dame Edna after he had finished his act yesterday at the RVT to call Peter, which he said he would do.