I had my consultation with a Harley Street neurologist yesterday to try and find out why I'm getting these cramps in my legs that wake me up at night. He suggested more blood tests (calcium, potassium and sodium levels I think). And a drug prescription to take marzipan every night. Sweet. Well it sounded like marzipan but he probably said tamazipan or diazipam or something similar. All sounds horribly addictive.
If the new blood tests don't show up much and I don't find the drugs helping I'm to contact him again. He'll do an EMG (?) which basically means he's going to stick lots of needles and probes in my leg muscles and send electric pulses to test my nervous system and my muscle responses. I have to say I'm not keen. Sounds a bit like Frankenstein. Sounds a bit like aversion therapy.
"So Mr Green. Do you want to take nice drugs that will make you high or do you want knitting needles stuck in your legs and to be electrocuted so you twitch like a laboratory rabbit?"
"Er, I'll take the drugs please"