Quote Of The Day

"Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake - Chessmaster Savielly Grigorievitch Tartakower (1887-1956)"

Tuesday, September 24, 2002

Car crash...
Darren and I went to the Royal Festival Hall last night to see A Celebration of Kirsty MacColl. There were a galaxy of stars both on the stage and in the audience (Darren seemed to know them all by sight and gave me a full musical CV of each and every one). Me, I recognised Dot Cotton from Eastenders and that was it. Oh, and Tracey Ullman - who did a blinding They Don't Know and lead an everyone-on-stage There's A Guy Works Down The Chip Shop Swears He's Elvis as a finale. A great gig. Now if only I could remember what happened afterwards...

We had been pre-warned that there wasn't an interval in the show so we'd have to take our pre-show drinks in plastic beakers. As I'm back on my low carb diet I was sticking to wine and after an initial larger and lime Darren decided tro join me. With barely five minutes to go before the start I was still stuck at the bar getting frustrated with the rugby scrum. I eventually got served but ended up asking for an entire bottle of wine. "Don't worry, we'll drink it!", I reassured Darren producing two pint beakers to pour it into. Classy, eh? We took a few large gulps and two minutes later I'd returned from the bar with another bottle to add to the first - well, you wouldn't want to run out, would you? It was about then that I questioned the wisdom of skipping supper before coming out. Wine by the bottle on an empty stomach ain't a good idea. As we went into the gig we got some rather strange looks from the ushers. "Yes, it is a PINT of wine, love", I almost said.

Darren slipped out about half way through the show - to buy a third bottle of plonk and returned with another two full pints of wine. Oh dear, oh dear.

And this is where things start to get a bit blurry. I can only remember snatches. I know we made it out of the RFH OK. But did Wendy at the Retro Bar really refill my wine glass for free? And later on did she really say, "Jon, I've never seen you this drunk. I think you should go home"? I vaguely remember Darren trying to persuade me to go to Bar Code but seeing as I could barely walk at the time that was never really on the cards. Somehow we managed to poured ourselves into a cab and head for home. "chno, chi chon't chink Chentral Schtation chis a chood chidea, Charren. chi chan't cheven chwalk." After that, my mind's a blank.

This morning I had that horrible combination of headache and upset stomach that accompanies the very worst of hangovers. I felt like shit, basically.

And Mark's single comment as he left me in bed today was, "When you got in last night you looked like a car crash." Says it all really.

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