Day 11: Palenque: Pyramids, Temples, and Jungles...

As our Mexican adventure draws to a close we had one last hurrah yesterday with a five hour drive into the jungle to see the magnificent Mayan ancient city of Palenque. 

Palenque is formed of a series of pyramid structures, a palace, a tower, temples, a ball court, a Mayan hotel(!), buildings where the workers lived, and tombs with colossal burial chambers. 

It is a beautiful place that is still 98% undiscovered. We even saw the archeologists at work. 

In Temple XX they had just discovered an amazing outer burial chamber that is bright red. The dead bodies in the room and everything else in the room were coated in mercury and sulphur. 

Once catalogued they hope to open up the bigger chamber that they have detected beyond.  

Amazing stuff.
 

Day 10: Campeche: Pirates, the Afterlife, and Mario...

After the wonders of Chicken Pizza (the Mexican love this joke - we heard it alot) we drove down further south to the port town of Campeche.

Campeche is a fortified town that the Spanish used as a major export city for the entire Yucatan peninsula thereby inevitably attracting pirates. In this neck of the woods pirates have a very bad reputation. Kids don't dress up as Captain Jack Sparrow round here. He's the baddy in the Pirates of the Caribbean films not the hero. The pirates round here plundered, murdered, stole from, and burned to the ground Campeche and its people. The are still hated. Think Nazis/ISIS hated. 

We got to tour around Campeche city quite a bit and en route found out a lot more about Mayan society and their belief systems.  

Fascination Facts: The Maya never invented or used the wheel. They had no beasts of burden (donkeys, oxen, horses). They had little or no metals. The Spanish were a bit pissed off when they attacked as they had expected to find piles of gold and silver as they had done with the other civilisations they had overrun. 

The Maya believed in an afterlife. It was where they went to be with their ancestors. It is known as the dry underworld. There were two underworlds actually. The dry one had your ancestors in it, the wet one was where you went to be tested. The wet one had rivers of blood, and of hot water and you had to pass the tests to get through to the dry underworld beyond. 

Some people got a free pass straight to the dry underworld though. See if you can spot the politics here:

Rulers/Nobles/the people who made the underworld rules

Soldiers who died in battle (win or lose)

Women who died in childbirth

Any human sacrifice

The unfairness in society wasn't just confined to the afterlife though. Slaves too were randomly chosen. You were a slave if:

You were born from slaves

You were an orphan (i.e. disconnected from your ancestors)

Captured in battle 

A condemned criminal

The tour guides here certainly know their stuff. 

Our guide for the day was rather fat, wrote a bright red jacket and red cap, and short of a moustache had of the air and demeanour of Nintendo's cartoon plumber Mario. I couldn't help laughing when he mentioned A Priness called Peche, talked about stone platforms, told us about how the Maya ate mushrooms, or showed us the stone effigy of an evil God that looked like Bowser. "Let's Go!"

Day 9: Chichén Itzá: Pyramids, Temples, and “Disneyland Mexico”...

Up at the crack of dawn to beat the day-trippers we sneaked in the back way to visit the world famous Chichén Itzá site.

Chichén Itzá is an ancient Mayan city with an impressive array of restored pyramids, temples, and ball courts. It’s considered one of the current Seven Wonders of the World.

The name Chichén Itzá is a Mayan word: CHI (mouth) CHEN (well) and ITZA (of the witch water). Some say this is because people were often thrown into the nearby cenote (sinkhole) as sacrifices, and those who survived were believed to be seers. The site is divided into three sections. The northern group of structures is distinctly Toltec in style. The central group appears to be from the early period. The southern group is known as 'The Old Chichén'.

Impressive though the main pyramid is, we were more staggered by the largest ball court in Mesoamerica, measuring 168 metres in length and 70 metres in width. This is where Mayan men played a game called pok ta pok. Anthropologists believe that the object of the game was to hurl a ball through a ring that was mounted on a wall, seven metres above the ground. Each team had six field players who would attempt to pass the ball - using any body part except their hands - to their captain who would attempt the shot using a racket of sorts. Some believe that the captain of the team that made the first successful shot was then decapitated as a sacrifice to the gods. This was seen as an honour and guaranteed entrance to heaven. 

We also got to see the afore mentioned sinkhole (Cenote Sagrado) that measures 60 metres in diameter. All sorts of treasures have been found here including rings, necklaces, gold and jade objects, as well as the bones of young women who were thrown into the water as an offering to Chaac, the Mayan rain god.

And why “Disneyland Mexico”? Well, the previous evening we had visited the same site to watch a sound and light show. Each ancient monument was either lit up by brightly coloured LED lights or was projected with a hi-def video. This was accompanied with a deafening soundtrack.  Guilding the lily perhaps?

Day 8: Mayan Riviera to Chichen Itza: Get Your Coati, Dancing at the Hacienda...

We planned to have a lie-in this morning but was woken up by something moving in the gloom of the room. I fumbled for my glasses but when I made a move it darted - fast. It really made me jump. It was furry, dark brown and about two foot long with a long tail. It scaled the wall of the room with the fruit from our basket and stolen sugar sachets in its mouth (it left the Splenda though - don't blame it). It then took one look back at me with black glistening eyes and then scurried out through the gap between the top of the wall and the thatched roof.

Later on we discovered it was a coati (a sort of raccoon). Apparently it likes to nick stuff from the rooms. 

(Stuart sympathized, he does the same with the toiletries!) 

After checking out of our hotel we drove up to Chichen Itza to spend the night in a Hacienda. 

The place was rather grand, old style colonial, and pretty stuffy. 

But lucky us we'd been upgraded to a bigger honeymoon suite! So once the door was closed we had a little dance. Only to discover two gardeners were watching us through the back window. Oops.

Day 7: Mayan Riviera: Downtime...

We did very little today. For us.

Cycle ride through the local jungle (the mosquitoes loved us!), tried (and failed) to snorkel off the reef, lazed around on the beach, and then watched the local wildlife guys release 200 baby green sea turtles back into the wild at sunset.

Back on the tourist trail tomorrow. 

Day 6: Merida to Mayan Riviera: Yellow, Deep, and White...

We were collected early from our Merida hotel by the ever-charming Pablo who drove us for the best part of six hours from the wonderful yellow city of Izamal, through to the deep watery sinkholes of Dzitnup Cenote, on to the white sandy beaches of the Mayan Riviera. Quite a daytrip.

Izamal is one of the oldest cities in the Yucatán region. Called the City of Hills (spoiler alert: the hills are actually deserted Mayan temples) Izamal is located right in the middle of the Mexican peninsula. The place was conquered by the Spaniards, and the monks in their eagerness to convert the Indians to Catholicism gave the city its religious distinction. To this day, Izamal's people are obsessively devoted to the Immaculate Virgin - hey, they even have a big wooden doll of her that they dress up each year in fresh clothes. Not weird!

In ancient times, Izamal was a place for the worship of the Maya God Itzamna, and the sun god, Kinich-Kakmo. A dozen temple pyramids were devoted to these gods (see the previously mentioned hills). These bold expressions of religiosity may be the reason behind the Spanish conquistadors choosing Izamal as the site for the enormous Franciscan monastery - The Convento de San Antonio de Padua - which still stands at the heart of the town on top of the main Mayan temple they found there. 

The place is now nicknamed 'La Ciudad Amarilla' (the yellow city) since this is the hue of the majority of the buildings.

After Izamal we headed on to the beautiful Dzitnup Cenote, where you went swimming in a cenote, a natural subterranian sinkhole created from collapsed limestone rock. The place was a bit scary to be honest. Dark, deep underground, full of blind fish, and of unknown depth. But great fun. Hey, I even came across some Mayas(!)

After spending some time there we drove to our beach hotel on the Mayan Riviera. It was a great find. Beautiful white sand and lovely sparkling clear turquoise waters. We might stay here a bit!

Day 5: Merida: Kabah, Uxmal, and Cacao...

Today we explored some of the temples dedicated to the Mayan Rain God, Chaac (he's big round these parts as it doesn't rain often - or so they say), climbed up some Mayan pyramids (even more impressive than the Aztec ones in central Mexico), and sampled some freshly made chocolate. Oh and drank beer too. More of that later. 

Our guide Pablo collected us at 8am sharp and after showing us the local graveyard (for reasons best known to himself - we didn't like to ask) whisked us two hours into the countryside for our first stop - the ruins of Kabah. Kabah is situated to the South of Merida and is "a monumental example of the Puuc style architecture in which each stone element is part of a total, linking men with its universe" (or so Pablo told us). Looked like just a load of rubble to us to be honest. But we could definitely make out the shape of the Mayan River God, the previously mentioned Chaac, in what was left of the temple wall when he showed it to us. We even nodded sagely when we recognised Chaac again on another pile of rubble. But wait. Then it started to make sense. Chaac was everywhere. It wasn't ‘just rubble’ at all. With his huge eyes, elephantine nose, massive jaws and funny ears Chaac was in every pile of rocks. The temple was originally one statue of Chaac mounted upon another reaching up to the sky. It was Chaac on Chaac on Chaac. Only the temple had been plundered by the Spanish and the European archeologists that followed them so that the multilayered Chaac temple was now in ruins. This rain god temple at Kabah had collapsed as the important bits of each Chaac layer had been stolen. These were relics not rubble at all. We were looking at a monument to 2000 years of Mayan civilisation. Destroyed. We were getting the hang of this.

Next up was the delightful ancient city of Uxmal. Unlike Kabah, Uxmal had been restored after the Spanish had 'visited'. And Uxmal was simply amazing. Set in rich green fertile land it provided the perfect setting for some of the most magnificent ancient pyramids, buildings and temples of the ancient world. Uxmal was an important city too; probably built around 700 AD, although inhabitants are thought to have lived in the area as far back as 800 BC - nearly 1,000 years before the city was built. It is a mystery as to why a settlement was ever made here: there are no rivers or local sources of water, and no evidence that they once existed. One of the features of Uxmal are the Mayan chultunes - or cisterns - which held water for the population to live from. Chaac features prominently in much of the architecture's carvings here too - no doubt an important source of water for these people. 

The restored buildings of Uxmal include the curved Piramide del Adivino (Magician's Pyramid) which stands majestically above the other buildings, the Nun's quadrant, the Turtle temple, and the pyramid Cuadrangulo de las Monjas which when we climbed up its central steps offered up spectacular views of the complex. The whole place was breathtaking. Hey, they even had a Quiddich Court. Look it up!

On the way back into town we visited the Cacao-Eco Museum to see how chocolate was made (spoiler alert: slowly), watched a rather smoke-filled Mayan rain ceremony praying to our old friend senor Chaac again, and stopped off for some rather lovely Mexican lunch at a traditional hacienda.

The heavens opened when we finally got home (hey, that earlier rain ceremony must have worked!) so we dived into a local bar to share a few local beers with some of the local barflies. A nice end to an enlightening day. 

Day 4: Merida: Hot, hot, hot! ...

We departed Mexico City and headed to the airport (which was modern, efficient and welcoming) for our trip to the Mayan Reiiera and the ancient city of Merida.

The flight was a little bumpy (a small leftover hurricane maybe) but as we disembarked from the plane the heat hit us, Pow! Right in the kisser (as Peter Griffin might say). 33 degrees in the shade. Roasting hot in the sun. 

Our guide Pablo was there to greet us and as the sweat poured down our faces he explained that we had a day to explore and acclimatise to the city before our touring started properly. And talking one look at our pale skin said we'd probably need buckets of sunscreen, big hats, and plenty of water. 

Our Hotel Hacienda Merida was beautiful and cool with a pool to boot.

Once settled we wandered through bright painted houses and the dusty streets towards the city centre where we picked a traditional Mexican restaurant to dine. Weird and delicious we noshed our way through the feast trying to avoid the hottest of the hot chillies.

We then headed back to our hotel to swim and relax.

A calm day before the adventures (and heat!) to come.

Day 3: Mexico City: The Spanish vs The Aztecs, and Frida Kahlo...

Our second full day in Mexico City was one in full-on tourist mode.

The Spanish vs The Aztecs

Firstly we took a tour of the historic downtown zooming (well, as fast as the traffic would allow) along the main boulevard Paseo de la Reforma to the Centro Histórico. Mexico's explosive past is very well depicted by its central plaza, the Zócalo, which is the third largest plaza in the world. Surrounded by some of the finest buildings of the colonial era lie the remnants of one of the Aztecs' principal monuments, the Templo Mayor - now crushed under foot by the invading Spanish and their Catholic cathedral. 

The pre-Hispanic civilisations that flourished throughout Mexico long ago and most of Mexico’s turbulent history since are beautifully depicted in the murals at the Palacio Nacional, which were painted by the famous Mexican artist and husband of Frida Kahlo, Diego Rivera. 

Afterwards we visited the famous Anthropological Museum. Architect Pedro Ramírez Vázquez's distinguished design provides the proper home for one of the finest archaeological collections in the world. Each salon on the museum's two floors displays artefacts from a particular Mexican geographic region or culture. The collection is so extensive - covering some 10,000 square metres - that you could easily spend a day here, and that might be barely adequate. We headed straight for the Aztec room though - death, decay, destruction, incredible stonework, human sacrifice, and fabulous feathers. What’s not to like?

Frida Kahlo

After our tour finished we headed over to the Frida Kahlo museum - stopping on the way for some classic Mexican street food and coffee as we fought off the last of our jet lag. 

What an amazing woman Frida Kahlo was...? Painter, poet, potter, photographer, and pioneer. Disabled by polio at 6, seriously maimed in a vehicle accident at 18, abused by her husband, she lived a bohemian life of art, politics, and passion. 

The museum is very popular (top tip: buy your ticket online) but very well organised. We didn’t feel crowded out and there was lots to marvel at. Her paintings of course but also her house, her remarkable clothes, and even the mirror and chair wear she painted her amazing self-portraits. 

No trip to Mexico City would be complete without a trip here. 

Day 2: Mexico City: Pyramids, Congestion, and Corruption...

Our first full day in Mexico City was a bit of a whistlestop tour. 

Pyramids

After an earlier Mexican breakfast our guide picked us up at our hotel to take us to the ancient Toltec city of Teotihuacan, where we visited (and climbed!) both the Pyramids of the Sun and the Moon, and walked the Calle de los Muertos (Road of Death). Yes, my friends, we were in human sacrifice territory.

Constructed from two centuries BC Teotihuacan quickly became the largest and most populous urban centre in the New World and the massive pyramids were their defining feature. Each addition platform stage of the pyramids were built every 52 years at the time of each eclipse creating an extra platform upon the last. There are no tombs or graves inside, just monuments to the moon and the sun. And a place to offer up human sacrifice. 

The city seems to have functioned for centuries until its rather sudden collapse, possibly in the 7th century. The place was called Teotihuacan, by Nahuatl speakers, several centuries after the city's fall, but its original name, the language or languages spoken there, and the ethnic groups who built the city are still a mystery. There is prominent sign on display to reassure the idiots - "this place was built by man, not aliens." Ha, ha.

The pyramids of the sun and moon here are said to rival those of Giza in Egypt, and at the city's peak of power, between AD 350-650, it had many influences over other now ancient sites throughout Mexico and Guatemala, especially in relation to the pottery, sculpture and architecture.

The pyramids were certainly amazing and worth the trip to Mexico alone.

Congestion

There are a lot of cars in Mexico City. And that is possibly the biggest understatement of the year. Traffic jams, pollution and crazy driving is a way of life here it seems. A car journey might take 30 minutes or 300 minutes - you have no idea until you hit the road. We spent many an hour sitting in traffic with our tour guide looking at other cars. 

They have tried various schemes here to control the congestion; free bike hire, car-free days, only allowing cars whose number plates end in certain numbers etc. but nothing seems to work. 

As the greater Mexico City population is 21 million people and with such high car ownership I can't see it being solved any time soon. 

Still, with all the extra time in the car our guide got to tell us about a darker side on Mexico City life...

Corruption

Police, local officials, government officials, traffic cops, state politicians... You name it, we heard dozens of hair-raising stories of either bribery, fraud, corruption, intimidation, threats or death. Kick-backs, back-handers, brides, suitcases of cash, the stories we heard varied from simply turning a blind eye to having someone (or their family) killed if they didn't comply.

There is a lot of street crime in Mexico City. When an area is described as 'safe' that word has a lot of positive connotations to it. People live in such and such area because it is 'safe'. They walk along that street because it is 'safe'. You only eat in 'safe' areas. In ‘unsafe’ areas like the lawless shanty areas cars get stripped to their chassis if left unattended. Knife crime and gun crime is rife. But for me hearing of the widespread corruption was the most alarming. Street crime can be addressed. Corruption destroys a country from within. And it seems everyone is at it. 

So sad to hear. 

Day 1: Mexico City: Arrival...

Stuart and I pitched up at Heathrow T5 nice and early on Thursday to take advantage of the free food, drink and spa treatments in the Concorde Lounge. Having collected enough air miles to stun an ox and with a BA companion voucher to boot we'd booked ourselves a First Class return flight to Mexico for a couple of weeks. 

The journey was fine, long (11 hours), nice enough food etc. Stuart dropped his phone down into the gubbons of his seat though and it took hours to get it out. 

Immigration and security at Mexico City airport was fairly relaxed so we were in our tour guide Francisco's car fairly quickly and on the way to our very glamorous boutique hotel. Free bar, high tech room controls and shower that fought you from all sides were just some of the delights.

Today to start exploring.

Sci-fi Films' Key Predictions or Technologies...

Blade Runner 2049 - Not Terrible - @BladeRunner #BladeRunner2049 ...

*** MILD SPOILERS ***
Premise: Set thirty years after the original Blade Runner film, the story depicts a replicant blade runner named K, who discovers the remains of a once-pregnant replicant. To prevent a possible war between species, K is secretly tasked with finding the child and destroying all evidence related to it, leading him to discover that the child bears a connection to missing blade runner Rick Deckard...

Good points: I liked it. The fact that a sequel to Blade Runner even exists and it's good. It looks great. It sounds fantastic. Ryan Gosling is great. Harrison Ford is good. Nice to see 'Pan Am' back. The plot is fine - albeit with a bit of a lame twist - but we've been there before with I Robot, Metropolis, Demon Seed, etc.

Bad points: Over long. Sexist. Very long. Slightly compromised plot. Too long. Takes 1h 45m before Harrison Ford shows up. Did I mention how long it is? Why is Jared Leto even in it? Long.

Overall impression: Relief that it's not terrible. I don't think I'll rush to watch it again anytime soon. Rather like Dune I think I'll catch it on a wet Saturday afternoon in three years time and think, "Oh I quite liked that".

Against @AlmeidaTheatre Meandering and uneven...

The other Friday night Stuart and I went to see Christopher Shinn's Against at the Almeida Theatre in London's glitzy Islington.

Starring the wonderful Ben Whishaw as Luke - a tech billionaire and a man who now hears the word of God - the play was pretty underwhelming to be honest. Great performances from the excellent cast on stage but the central conceit of a man singly charged with curing violence in a violent world seemed a bit of stretch. If the story had the power of its convictions it would have perhaps had stronger religious themes - twelve modern disciples, a doubting Thomas, a traitor, a death... But the uneven tone, the meandering plot, the three hour running time, and the lack of any resolution seemed more like a play that was underwritten or badly edited than one making a point about there being no cure to violence.

Quite a few people left at the interval too (something I really don’t agree with BTW.)