The following is the transcript of an actual radio conversation in October 1995, between a US Navy ship and the British authorities off the north coast of Scotland. The transcript was released by the MoD on the 10/10/95.
BRITISH: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid collision.
US Navy: Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the North to avoid collision
BRITISH: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid collision
US Navy: This is the Captain of US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.
BRITISH: Negative I say again divert your course.
US Navy: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER 'USS LINCOLN' THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES' ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH, THAT'S 15 DEGREES NORTH, OR COUNTER MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP.
BRITISH: We are a Lighthouse.- F*ck off !!
If only it were true...