Hairdressers….

 At Hairdressers. She starts talking. 

Where are you going on your holidays?

• Italy, I said. 

It’s awful there. Who are you flying with?

• BA

Their trolly dollies are all sluts. Where are you landing?

• Rome

It’s packed there. Horrid airport. Where are you staying?

• The Treksi Hotel

A dump. Stinks. What are you hoping to see?

• The Vatican

Packed. Rude people. Avoid. 

Two weeks later back at hairdressers

How was you holiday?

• Amazing. Italy lovely. BA gave us an upgrade. Rome was beautiful. Treksi Hotel lovely. Got an upgrade there too. Penthouse. Vatican was empty. Swiss Guard said I was 100,000,000th visitor. Got to meet the Pope. Private audience. As we were leaving he whispered something in my ear. 

What was it?

• I can’t say. It was private. 

What?! WHAT?!!

• I really can’t say.

TELL ME!  WHAT DID HE SAY TO YOU!!

• Who did your fucking hair?