As I was watching the rioting spread across London last night with cars and buildings set alight on a third night of unrest I mused a few things to myself:
Just turned on the TV. Blimey tonight's EastEnders has got a bit edgier...
If Tottenham is on fire, do police suspect Arsène?
Oh, if anyone is going looting in Islington tonight we need some pimento and some sun-dried tomatoes...
Sky News have much better coverage than the BBC News. They have adverts for Currys every few minutes so you can pick out what to loot...
If a gang couldn't pull off a robbery or looting tonight of all nights they should should give up their criminal career and get a proper job. Oh wait...
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