Wikileaks? Pah! Boiler sprang a real leak this morning. No hot water. No heating. Bucket in hand. Guests arrive this pm. I called a plumber. Busy. So I called another. And another.
Finally I got a booking. He arrived. Fumbled around in his van. Replaced the head of the pump and was gone. He talked about his girlfriend a lot (was it me setting up the video camera that urged his display of heterosexuality?) but now I've got hot water, hot radiators and a £198.32 hole in my pocket. He also recommended I have a Power Flush as I'm suffering from sludge. Missus!