Boom, boom...
A plane was about to crash and there were 5 people still on board but only 4 parachutes. The first person said. "I am Roy Keene, one of the best footballers in Ireland. I am worth a lot of money and my fans need me so I think I should be saved." The others agreed and gave him one of the parachutes and off he went.
The second person said "I am Gerry Adams, a radical Irish politician who can really help my country and I think I should be saved." The others said."OK" and gave him a parachute.
The third person said, "I am David Beckham, captain of the English National squad. I have a wife and 2 sons. Everyone knows I am a really nice guy and everyone thinks I am stupid, but I'm not, so I am taking a parachute." and off he went.
There were two folk left - the Pope and a 10-year-old schoolgirl. The Pope said, "child I am old and frail and have lived my life while you are young with everything before you. You take the parachute and I will stay with the aircraft and take my chance and make my peace with God."
"It's OK.." said the girl, "there are still two parachutes left. David Beckham picked up my schoolbag."
overyourhead - some irreverent musings by a gay London guy - crawling though technology, love and life... so you don't have to.
Friday, October 04, 2002
Thursday, October 03, 2002
Tube Strike...
I worked from home yesterday as the second strike hit the tube. I got quite a lot done though.
[Picture from Guy]
I worked from home yesterday as the second strike hit the tube. I got quite a lot done though.
[Picture from Guy]
Wednesday, October 02, 2002
BBC4...
There is a new television channel being broadcast by the BBC called BBC4. It is a bit more high-brow than either BBC1 or BBC2 (and certainly more so than BBCChoice 3). A typical evening's listing will include programmes about literature, travel and the arts. The tag line for the channel is "Everyone needs a place to think."
And to help with the advertising campaign for the channel there are billboards all over the country with famous people pictured in remote, solitary locations looking pensive (or perhaps just looking blank). Very deep, Auntie Beeb.
Funny then that on the way home last night I caught sight of one of these billboards with a red dot-matrix advertising screen just below it. The red screen usually has scrolling adverts on it but it had obviously crashed and was displaying the error "READY!!! MEMORY EMPTY"
Poor Ian McEwan. I hope you get your memory back.
There is a new television channel being broadcast by the BBC called BBC4. It is a bit more high-brow than either BBC1 or BBC2 (and certainly more so than BBC
And to help with the advertising campaign for the channel there are billboards all over the country with famous people pictured in remote, solitary locations looking pensive (or perhaps just looking blank). Very deep, Auntie Beeb.
Funny then that on the way home last night I caught sight of one of these billboards with a red dot-matrix advertising screen just below it. The red screen usually has scrolling adverts on it but it had obviously crashed and was displaying the error "READY!!! MEMORY EMPTY"
Poor Ian McEwan. I hope you get your memory back.
Tuesday, October 01, 2002
Die Another Day...
I just heard Madonna's new single - Die Another Day - from the latest James Bond film of the same name. More plinky-plinky-plonky from Mirwais, I'm afraid. My only comment is: It's not Music.
I just heard Madonna's new single - Die Another Day - from the latest James Bond film of the same name. More plinky-plinky-plonky from Mirwais, I'm afraid. My only comment is: It's not Music.
Monday, September 30, 2002
A History Lesson:...
Next time you are washing your hands and complain because the water temperature isn't just how you like it, think about how things used to be....
Here are some facts about the 1500s:
Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath about May and still smelled fairly good by June. However, they were starting to get a little pungent, so the bride carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odour.
Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the children - last of all the babies. By then, the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it - hence the saying, "Don't throw the baby out with the bath water."
Houses had thatched roofs - thick straw piled high with no wood slats or sheathing underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the dogs, cats and other small animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof. When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip off the roof - hence the saying, "It's raining cats and dogs."
Since the ceiling was straw, there was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings could really mess up your nice clean bed. Hence, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top afforded some protection. That's how canopy beds came into existence.
Beds were made from straw, which of course is a home for insects of all kinds, particularly fleas, lice, and tics. These beds weren't very nice. The original meaning of the word 'lousy' is 'full of lice' (lice is the plural form of louse). As a result, everyone had lice and fleas. Rats also were common, and diseases spread from the rats to humans, through the lice and fleas. Moreover, any sort of minor injury here the skin got broken often led to death due to infection. This helps explain why life expectancy was only about 30 to 40 years.
Every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables and did not get much meat. They would eat the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold overnight, then start over the next day. Sometimes the stew had food in it that had been there for quite a while, hence the rhyme, "Peas porridge hot, Peas porridge cold, Peas porridge in the pot nine days old."
Sometimes they would be lucky enough to be able to buy pork, which made them feel quite special. When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off. It was a sign of wealth that a man "could bring home the bacon." They would cut off little chunks to share with guests and would all sit around and "chew the fat."
Those with money had lead-based pewter plates. Unfortunately, food with a high acid content caused some of the lead to leak onto the food, causing lead poisoning and death. This happened most often with tomatoes, so for the next 350 years or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous.
The floor was dirt. This gave real meaning to the expression 'dirt poor'. Only the wealthy could afford something better, which was often slate. But slate gets slippery when it's wet, especially in winter, so a layer of straw (thresh) was placed on the floor. As the thresh got dirty, more and more layers of straw were added throughout the wet season. The straw, or thresh, was held in place at the doorway by a piece of wood , called a 'thresh hold' ... from which we get the term for a doorway, 'threshold'.
Most people didn't have pewter plates, but had "trenchers", a piece of wood with the middle scooped out like a bowl. Often trenchers were made from stale bread that was so old and hard that they could be used for quite sometime. Trenchers were never washed and a lot of times worms and mould got into the wood and old bread. After eating from wormy, mouldy trenchers, one would get "trench mouth."
Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or "upper crust."
Lead cups were used to drink ale or whiskey. The combination would sometimes knock them out for a couple of days. Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial. They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up, hence the custom of holding a "wake."
Graveyard overcrowding was a problem even in those days. So they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a "bone-house" and reuse the grave. When reopening these coffins, nearly 1 out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realized they had been burying people alive. So they thought they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night (the "graveyard shift") to listen for the bell; thus, someone could be "saved by the bell" or was considered a "dead ringer".
[Culled from various "Isn't history wonderful?" type sites]
Next time you are washing your hands and complain because the water temperature isn't just how you like it, think about how things used to be....
Here are some facts about the 1500s:
Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath about May and still smelled fairly good by June. However, they were starting to get a little pungent, so the bride carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odour.
Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the children - last of all the babies. By then, the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it - hence the saying, "Don't throw the baby out with the bath water."
Houses had thatched roofs - thick straw piled high with no wood slats or sheathing underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the dogs, cats and other small animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof. When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip off the roof - hence the saying, "It's raining cats and dogs."
Since the ceiling was straw, there was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings could really mess up your nice clean bed. Hence, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top afforded some protection. That's how canopy beds came into existence.
Beds were made from straw, which of course is a home for insects of all kinds, particularly fleas, lice, and tics. These beds weren't very nice. The original meaning of the word 'lousy' is 'full of lice' (lice is the plural form of louse). As a result, everyone had lice and fleas. Rats also were common, and diseases spread from the rats to humans, through the lice and fleas. Moreover, any sort of minor injury here the skin got broken often led to death due to infection. This helps explain why life expectancy was only about 30 to 40 years.
Every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables and did not get much meat. They would eat the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold overnight, then start over the next day. Sometimes the stew had food in it that had been there for quite a while, hence the rhyme, "Peas porridge hot, Peas porridge cold, Peas porridge in the pot nine days old."
Sometimes they would be lucky enough to be able to buy pork, which made them feel quite special. When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off. It was a sign of wealth that a man "could bring home the bacon." They would cut off little chunks to share with guests and would all sit around and "chew the fat."
Those with money had lead-based pewter plates. Unfortunately, food with a high acid content caused some of the lead to leak onto the food, causing lead poisoning and death. This happened most often with tomatoes, so for the next 350 years or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous.
The floor was dirt. This gave real meaning to the expression 'dirt poor'. Only the wealthy could afford something better, which was often slate. But slate gets slippery when it's wet, especially in winter, so a layer of straw (thresh) was placed on the floor. As the thresh got dirty, more and more layers of straw were added throughout the wet season. The straw, or thresh, was held in place at the doorway by a piece of wood , called a 'thresh hold' ... from which we get the term for a doorway, 'threshold'.
Most people didn't have pewter plates, but had "trenchers", a piece of wood with the middle scooped out like a bowl. Often trenchers were made from stale bread that was so old and hard that they could be used for quite sometime. Trenchers were never washed and a lot of times worms and mould got into the wood and old bread. After eating from wormy, mouldy trenchers, one would get "trench mouth."
Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or "upper crust."
Lead cups were used to drink ale or whiskey. The combination would sometimes knock them out for a couple of days. Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial. They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up, hence the custom of holding a "wake."
Graveyard overcrowding was a problem even in those days. So they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a "bone-house" and reuse the grave. When reopening these coffins, nearly 1 out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realized they had been burying people alive. So they thought they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night (the "graveyard shift") to listen for the bell; thus, someone could be "saved by the bell" or was considered a "dead ringer".
[Culled from various "Isn't history wonderful?" type sites]
Saturday, September 28, 2002
Curried favour...
It has been revealed that Edwina Currie and John Major had an affair between 1984 and 1988. Oh my God! The hypocrite (not her, him). After all that 'back-to-basics' nonsense he came out with after he became PM two years later.
Mary Archer, my ex-chemistry tutor and wife of disgraced Tory peer Lord Archer, said that she was surprised to learn of the affair. "I am a little surprised, not at Mrs Currie's indiscretion but at a temporary lapse in John Major's taste". Bitch!
It has been revealed that Edwina Currie and John Major had an affair between 1984 and 1988. Oh my God! The hypocrite (not her, him). After all that 'back-to-basics' nonsense he came out with after he became PM two years later.
Mary Archer, my ex-chemistry tutor and wife of disgraced Tory peer Lord Archer, said that she was surprised to learn of the affair. "I am a little surprised, not at Mrs Currie's indiscretion but at a temporary lapse in John Major's taste". Bitch!
Friday, September 27, 2002
T-Bird or a Pink Lady?...
Strangely - despite releasing a karaoke DVD version of Grease in 1998 - Paramount have never agreed to do a Sing-a-long-a Grease in the same mode of Sing-a-long-a Sound-Of-Music. Until now that is.
Tonight Darren (who is the new manager at the Prince Charles cinema - the home of Sing-a-long-a Sound Of Music) is hosting the UK launch party of the Grease DVD re-release and Paramount have specially agreed to a screening in the Sing-a-long-a format as a one off. Hopefully if it's a success it might become a more permanent feature.
And the wonderful Darren has promised that I can sit in the balcony and watch from above. Watch and sing. And dance. So what should I dress as for the big night ahead - a T-Bird or a Pink Lady? On second thoughts. Don't answer that!
Strangely - despite releasing a karaoke DVD version of Grease in 1998 - Paramount have never agreed to do a Sing-a-long-a Grease in the same mode of Sing-a-long-a Sound-Of-Music. Until now that is.
Tonight Darren (who is the new manager at the Prince Charles cinema - the home of Sing-a-long-a Sound Of Music) is hosting the UK launch party of the Grease DVD re-release and Paramount have specially agreed to a screening in the Sing-a-long-a format as a one off. Hopefully if it's a success it might become a more permanent feature.
And the wonderful Darren has promised that I can sit in the balcony and watch from above. Watch and sing. And dance. So what should I dress as for the big night ahead - a T-Bird or a Pink Lady? On second thoughts. Don't answer that!
Grease is the Word...
When Grease first came out as a film it created a storm.
Released in 1978 in the UK it was not just the number one film that summer but John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John's You're The One That I Want and Summer Nights between them dominated the top of the UK charts for 16 weeks. The film itself became a cultural phenomenon.
I went to see it 7 times that year. I have friends who saw it 13 or 14 times. We were that hooked.
The acting may not have been up to much but the music was fantastic - here are just the first 8 songs on the soundtrack album.
1. Grease - Frankie Valli
2. Summer Nights - John Travolta & Olivia Newton-John
3. Hopelessly Devoted To You - Olivia Newton-John
4. You're The One I Want - John Travolta & Olivia Newton-John
5. Sandy - John Travolta
6. Beauty School Dropout - Frankie Avalon
7. Look At Me, I'm Sandra Dee - Stockard Channing
8. Greased Lightning - John Travolta
The film was actually released in 1977 in the States and to mark the 25th anniversary Paramount have (re)released Grease on DVD. You can watch the 20th anniversary release Grease trailer here.
When Grease first came out as a film it created a storm.
Released in 1978 in the UK it was not just the number one film that summer but John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John's You're The One That I Want and Summer Nights between them dominated the top of the UK charts for 16 weeks. The film itself became a cultural phenomenon.
I went to see it 7 times that year. I have friends who saw it 13 or 14 times. We were that hooked.
The acting may not have been up to much but the music was fantastic - here are just the first 8 songs on the soundtrack album.
1. Grease - Frankie Valli
2. Summer Nights - John Travolta & Olivia Newton-John
3. Hopelessly Devoted To You - Olivia Newton-John
4. You're The One I Want - John Travolta & Olivia Newton-John
5. Sandy - John Travolta
6. Beauty School Dropout - Frankie Avalon
7. Look At Me, I'm Sandra Dee - Stockard Channing
8. Greased Lightning - John Travolta
The film was actually released in 1977 in the States and to mark the 25th anniversary Paramount have (re)released Grease on DVD. You can watch the 20th anniversary release Grease trailer here.
There Are Worse Things I Can Do...
My favourite character in Grease was always Elizabeth 'Betty' Rizzo (Stockard Channing). I almost cried when she first sang There Are Worse Things I Can Do. I wonder why? :-)
There are worse things i could do
Than go with a boy or two
Even though the neighbourhood thinks I'm trashy and no good
I suppose it could be true
But there are worse things i could do
I could flirt with all the guys
Smile at them and bat my eyes
Press against them when we dance
Make them think they stand a chance
Then refuse to see it through
That's a thing I'd never do
I could stay home every night
Wait around for Mr Right
Take cold showers every day
And throw my life away
On a dream that wont come true.
I could hurt
Someone like me
Out of spite or jealousy
I don't steal and I don't lie
But I can feel and I can cry
In fact I bet you never knew
But to cry in front of you
That's the worse thing
I could... dooooooo!
My favourite character in Grease was always Elizabeth 'Betty' Rizzo (Stockard Channing). I almost cried when she first sang There Are Worse Things I Can Do. I wonder why? :-)
There are worse things i could do
Than go with a boy or two
Even though the neighbourhood thinks I'm trashy and no good
I suppose it could be true
But there are worse things i could do
I could flirt with all the guys
Smile at them and bat my eyes
Press against them when we dance
Make them think they stand a chance
Then refuse to see it through
That's a thing I'd never do
I could stay home every night
Wait around for Mr Right
Take cold showers every day
And throw my life away
On a dream that wont come true.
I could hurt
Someone like me
Out of spite or jealousy
I don't steal and I don't lie
But I can feel and I can cry
In fact I bet you never knew
But to cry in front of you
That's the worse thing
I could... dooooooo!
My birthday dinner...
Thank you everyone who came last night to my birthday dinner and thanks for all the presents. I'm sure I'd only had one glass of wine so I cannot quite explain or excuse my rambling soliloquy about how I met Mark. I hope I didn't make anyone's toes curl. Can I just state publicly that Mark's remark about me sounding like my father was something I shall be hard pushed to ever recover from - you bastard! (And yes, Drew, that was my favourite T-shirt you were wearing and yes I do want it back, you minx!)
Thank you everyone who came last night to my birthday dinner and thanks for all the presents. I'm sure I'd only had one glass of wine so I cannot quite explain or excuse my rambling soliloquy about how I met Mark. I hope I didn't make anyone's toes curl. Can I just state publicly that Mark's remark about me sounding like my father was something I shall be hard pushed to ever recover from - you bastard! (And yes, Drew, that was my favourite T-shirt you were wearing and yes I do want it back, you minx!)
Killer Queen...
This is a genuine psychological test.
Read the following....
It is a story about a woman.
Whilst at the funeral of her own mother, a woman met a man who she did not know. She thought this guy was amazing, so much her dream guy she believed him to be, that she fell in love with him there and then but after the funeral forgot to ask for his phone number and then... A few days later the woman killed her own sister.
Question: What is her motive in killing her sister?
Give this some thought for a while before you scroll down.
Answer: She was hoping that the guy would appear at the funeral again.
If you answered this correctly, you think like a psychopath. This was a test used by an American psychologist to test if one has the same mentality as a killer. Many arrested serial killers took part in this test and answered it correctly. If you didn't answer correctly - good for you. If your friends hit the jackpot however, may I suggest that you keep your distance.
[Thanks to Hanko for the original]
This is a genuine psychological test.
Read the following....
It is a story about a woman.
Whilst at the funeral of her own mother, a woman met a man who she did not know. She thought this guy was amazing, so much her dream guy she believed him to be, that she fell in love with him there and then but after the funeral forgot to ask for his phone number and then... A few days later the woman killed her own sister.
Question: What is her motive in killing her sister?
Give this some thought for a while before you scroll down.
Answer: She was hoping that the guy would appear at the funeral again.
If you answered this correctly, you think like a psychopath. This was a test used by an American psychologist to test if one has the same mentality as a killer. Many arrested serial killers took part in this test and answered it correctly. If you didn't answer correctly - good for you. If your friends hit the jackpot however, may I suggest that you keep your distance.
[Thanks to Hanko for the original]
Thursday, September 26, 2002
Donkey Kong jumps ship...
Microsoft have bought video games developer Rare - with Nintendo selling their 49% stake. Rare is one of my favourite software developers - and whatsmore their British.
In the past they have come up with such great games such as Donkey Kong Country, Donkey Kong 64, Banjo-Kazooie, GoldenEye 007 and Perfect Dark all for the big N - but now will be developing exclusively for the Xbox. Next year they are launching Kameo which at the moment looks like a well above average Zelda clone.
Microsoft have bought video games developer Rare - with Nintendo selling their 49% stake. Rare is one of my favourite software developers - and whatsmore their British.
In the past they have come up with such great games such as Donkey Kong Country, Donkey Kong 64, Banjo-Kazooie, GoldenEye 007 and Perfect Dark all for the big N - but now will be developing exclusively for the Xbox. Next year they are launching Kameo which at the moment looks like a well above average Zelda clone.
Born on the 26th September...
I share a birthday with a number of 'famous' people. Many of whom I have never heard of. But the ones that always stick in my mind are generally from the world of entertainment: Linda Hamilton, Julie London, George Gershwin, T S Eliot, Winnie Mandela (er, OK she's not really in the 'entertainment' camp - more tyre-burning perhaps), Anne Robinson and Will Self (who was born on the exact day I was).
Closer to my heart though are two particular people who I greatly admire and who I am proud to say I was born on the same day as them both. And they are Bryan Ferry (I have always been a big Roxy Music fan) and the ever youthful Olivia Newton-John. Hopelessly devoted to them both.
So who do you share a birthday with? Anyone really embarrassing?
I share a birthday with a number of 'famous' people. Many of whom I have never heard of. But the ones that always stick in my mind are generally from the world of entertainment: Linda Hamilton, Julie London, George Gershwin, T S Eliot, Winnie Mandela (er, OK she's not really in the 'entertainment' camp - more tyre-burning perhaps), Anne Robinson and Will Self (who was born on the exact day I was).
Closer to my heart though are two particular people who I greatly admire and who I am proud to say I was born on the same day as them both. And they are Bryan Ferry (I have always been a big Roxy Music fan) and the ever youthful Olivia Newton-John. Hopelessly devoted to them both.
So who do you share a birthday with? Anyone really embarrassing?
The Forty-One Club...
Happy Birthday to me
Happy Birthday to me
Happy Birthday to me-e
Happy Birthday to me!
Happy Birthday to me
Happy Birthday to me
Happy Birthday to me-e
Happy Birthday to me!
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