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Saturday, December 17, 2022

Avatar: The Way (Too Long) of Water… #Avatar2 #AvatarTheWayOfWater Review->

***Spoilers*** (But nothing too detailed, just the basic plot outline)

I should perhaps say from the get-go that I am a fan of Avatar (the 1st film) and was very much looking forward to seeing Avatar 2. Yes, I’d watched the Avatar 2 trailer so more or less knew what to expect and that James Cameron hadn’t really stayed too far from his winning formula from the first one.

And Darce had very kindly bought me a ticket at the Odeon Leicester Square in the glitzy West End of London no less with its posh recliner seats. Fancy.

So, what could be better? As the lights started to dim and the excitement rolled over me - watching a big block-buster film on its day of release, in a big posh swanky cinema, with my buddy bursting with excitement in the seat next to me.

There’s a hush. Then the film starts.

Oh, the 3D looks a bit off. (Adjusts glasses). Hmm. Oh well. But it looks like that setting on modern TVs they tell you to turn off. Only James Cameron hasn’t. “Motion Smoothing” or something. The characters all look like they are performing in different sliced zones layered from foreground into the background. Odd. Oh well. Maybe it’s just me.

But Ok. So here we all are again. Back in blue cartoon land.

And the plot starts. Well, not so much start as slowly move off from a stationary position.

Tall Blue Cartoon People are with their bows and arrows once again swinging through the forest trying to avoid the Sky People with their big guns and big military vehicles. And once again the trees take the lion’s share of the collateral damage. Yes, we’ve seen this all before I think.

All very Avatar. This goes on for about an hour. Where's the water?

Ah. Here it is. The Tall Cartoon Blue People decide to go to the seaside on their holidays. Looks like a nice pace. Blue water. Sandy beaches. Only the Tall Green Cartoon People who live at the seaside don’t seem to be particularly pleased to see them. So, the Blue and Green kids flirt a bit and then all have a rumble.

A sort of Wet Side Story. This goes on for another hour.

Shifting about in my seat now. It’s getting a bit boring. Where's the jeopardy?

Oh. Then a whale turns up that seems to be able to do sign language. That’s fun. And then the Sky People turn up again. Yay! Only they don’t seem to be very happy and everyone shouts at each other. And then everyone shoots at each other. This is better.

Only this goes on for yet another hour. I counted 40 or so baddies but the baddy body count must be over 200 by now. Are they getting up again? Come on guys. Just kill everyone!

And then the film turns into Titanic for 15 minutes. Or is it The Poseidon Adventure? Yes, The Poseidon Adventure but in this instance, I don’t really care if it’s Captain Pugwash and if these Tall Blue Cartoon people live or die because the film has been going on, and on, and on for what seems like days.

And then it ends. Hurray.

Fun. But blimey my bum is aching.

Review Bullet-points: -

- Waaaay Too long
- Wow factor is missing somewhat
- 3D looks a bit weird
- It's a cartoon with live action characters. A sort Who Framed Soggy Rabbit?
- There are lots of nods to Cameron's others work; Aliens, Titanic, and The Abyss which are fun to spot.
- I didn't really care about anyone. I sort of wanted the Talk Blue Cartoon people all to die. Which I really don’t think is what Cameron was going for.
- All least when the Sky People army types with their guns and they’re harpoons were on screen and blowing things up or killing things it got a bit more exciting.
- The experience is a bit like watching someone else play a big flashy video game. Which can be fun. But you end up wanting to say things like - “what do you do that for?” “why didn’t you go there?” “I’m bored now”

So, my advice, if you must see it, is go see it in 2D, don’t have anything to drink for 3 hours before, and expect a very similar film to the first one. And I think you might enjoy yourself.

💧 💧

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