Quote Of The Day

"Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake - Chessmaster Savielly Grigorievitch Tartakower (1887-1956)"

Tuesday, December 31, 2002

Diana arrossted...
Following on from the dramatic news that Diana Ross has been arrested for drunk driving I think the scenario might have gone something like this:-

Diana Ross is seen driving erratically all over the road in the early hours of the morning. A Police Car gives chase and manages to force her car to the side of the road. The Officer then approaches the car.
Police Officer: Stop! In The Name Of Love.
Diana Ross: Don't you know who I am, Officer! I'm The Boss!
Police Officer: Step out of the car please Ma'am.
Diana Ross: Ok, Ok. I'm Coming Out.
Police Officer: Well, I haven't got all day.
She doesn't move.
Police Officer: I'm Still Waiting
She still doesn't move.
Police Officer: You seem a little drunk, Ma'am. Let me help you out of your seat.
Diana Ross: Don't touch me! No one is allowed to Touch Me In The Morning!
Police Officer: Didn't you see me following you? Didn't you look in the Mirror, Mirror, Ma'am?
Diana Ross: Sure, I saw your Reflections.
Police Officer: You were swerving all over the road. You looked a little lost. Do You Know Where You're Going To?
Diana Ross: Yes, I was Goin' Back home. I wasn't lost, I know this road well, just up there is where I take a right... It's My Turn.
Police Officer: Didn't your driving school ever tell you to Stop! Look, Listen at a junction, Ma'am?
Diana Ross: Can I go now? I don't see why You Keep Me Hangin' On.
Police Officer: You Can't Hurry, Love as I'm Not Over (with) You Yet. Breathe into this.
He breathalyses her which suggests she has twice the legal limit of alcohol in her bloodstream.
Police Officer: Tomorrow you're gonna have a really bad (Love) Hangover, Ma'am.
Diana Ross: I could do with something stronger, actaully. Have you got anything to Take Me Higher? 'Cos there Ain't No Mountain High Enough.
Police Officer: I think you'd better accompany me to the station, Ma'am.
Diana Ross: You have lovely Muscles, Officer. Do you Work That Body?
Police Officer: Thank you, Ma'am, but we have to go now. I'm tired. I've been Workin' Overtime.
Diana Ross: But isn't this the part When You Tell Me That You Love Me?
Police Officer: No, Ma'am, it's not.
Diana Ross: Someday We'll Be Together because I'm Gonna Make You Love Me.
Police Officer: Never gonna happen, Ma'am.
Diana Ross: Where Did Our Love Go, then? I thought we had an Endless Love. You Are Everything to me and you turned me Upside Down when I first saw you. Why Do Fools Fall In Love so quickly?
Police Officer: I think you're living in a fantasy world, Ma'am. You're drunk and I'm arresting you.
Diana Ross: Well I may not have Your Love, Officer, but Remember Me fondly Until We Meet Again.
Police Officer: (under his breath) What a Drama Queen!

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