Hampstead Heath Pool Picnic...

The Footage They Tried To Ban...

The footage the BBC tried to ban: "These have been dramatic and turbulent weeks for the Conservative Party and their dedication to making people's lives absolutely fucking shit."

Star Trek Communicators…

Back in the 1960s these were considered the things of science fiction. I guess we have them now.

I wonder whether the iPhone 4 will look like this when it's launched later today?

Man 2 Man Meets Man Parrish - Male Stripper...

Hi NRG...

I love Hi-NRG music and these are some of my favourite songs:

Hit And Run Lover - Carol Jiani
So Many Men, So Little Time - Miquel Brown
Where Is My Man? - Eartha Kitt
Male Stripper - Man 2 Man meets Man Parrish
High Energy - Evelyn Thomas
Searching (I Got to Find a Man) - Hazell Dean
I like Plastic - Marsha Raven
I Love Men - Eartha Kitt
If You Could Read My Mind - Viola Wills
Love's Gone Mad - Seventh Avenue
I Like You - Phyllis Nelson
Two of Hearts [European Mix] - Stacey Q
One Night Only - Scherrie Payne
Whisper to a Scream - Bobby Orlando (Bobby O)
Savin' Myself - Eria Fachin
Born to Be Alive - Patrick Hernandez
Can't Take My Eyes off of You - Boys Town Gang
Unexpected Lovers - Lime
Voyage, Voyage - Desireless
Voyage - East To West
I'm Living My Own Life - Earlene Bentley
Masquerade - Evelyn Thomas
Love's Gone Mad - Seventh Avenue

Oh and let's not forget...
Love Eviction - Quartzlock
Weekend - Class Action
Break 4 Love - Raze

Joao's BBQ...

 

Kim Peek...

Kim Peek, who died on 19th December 2009 aged 58, was the model for the autistic character Raymond Babbitt in the 1988 film Rain Man, starring Dustin Hoffman.

Hoffman's portrayal of a middle-aged savant's complex interaction with the world through astonishing mental facilities and childlike emotions earned him an Oscar for best actor. But it was Peek, who suffered from Agenesis of Corpus Callosum (a condition similar to autism), whom Hoffman and Barry Morrow – Rain Man's writer, who also won an Oscar – acknowledged as the inspiration behind the performance.

When Hoffman thanked Peek in his Oscar acceptance speech, media interest in Peek's highly unusual abilities was immediate. This prompted Kim and his father, Fran, an advertising executive, to embark on a series of speaking tours throughout America, spreading awareness and acceptance of the "different" and the disabled. The public exposure, in turn, led to pioneering scientific research.

Kim Peek was born on 11th November 1951 in Salt Lake City, Utah – both his parents were Mormons. Despite his mother's uneventful pregnancy, Kim's head was 30 per cent larger than normal at birth. He was a sluggish baby who cried frequently, and doctors soon discovered that he had a blister inside his skull that had damaged the left hemisphere of his brain, which controls language and motor skills. By the time he was nine months old he was expected to be mentally impaired for life. His parents were advised to place him in an institution, but they dismissed the idea, deciding to bring him up normally alongside their other son and daughter.

They were soon astounded by his progress. At the age of 16 months Kim taught himself to read children's books. When he was three he consulted a dictionary to clarify the meaning of the word "confidential"; it was then that his parents realised that he could also read newspapers. Yet for all his brilliance, his oversized head required physical support because of its weight; and, unusually, he was unable to walk until he was four.
When Kim was six, a visit to Utah by the renowned brain surgeon Peter Lindstrom resulted in his being offered a lobotomy. His parents declined, and Kim went on to memorise the entire Bible before his seventh birthday. At this point he was sent to a local school, but was expelled on his first day for being disruptive. The lack of provision in America in the 1950s for special needs children meant that his father had to have him tutored at home by a series of retired teachers. By the time he was 14, Kim had completed the high school curriculum, though the local authorities would not recognise the achievement and refused to award him a certificate.

Before the release of Rain Man – by which time he was 37 – Peek had an insular existence, knowing only about 20 people. Unable to describe his condition, or to dress himself, cook, shave or brush his teeth without help, he was looked after by his mother, Jeanne, until 1981, when his parents divorced. Thereafter his father provided the supervision he required. At 18 he had been given a job working in the accounts department of a community centre. Spare time was devoted to absorbing literature. He read and immediately memorised thousands of texts, including the complete works of Shakespeare and every story in every volume of the condensed Reader's Digest books.

He used telephone directories for exercises in mental arithmetic, adding each column of seven-digit numbers together in his head until he reached figures in the trillions. On a rare excursion away from home in 1984, he attended the national conference of the Association of Retarded Citizens in Arlington, Texas, and it was there that he was "discovered" by Barry Morrow. After spending four hours with Peek, the screenwriter approached Fran Peek, asking him if he realised that his son knew every postcode, area code, and road number in every state across America. He urged Fran to share his son with the world.

Not wishing Kim to become part of a freak show, Fran ignored the request. Two years later, however, Morrow contacted him to explain that a film studio had just bought a script he had written. The story of a selfish yuppie who discovers that an autistic brother he never knew existed has inherited their father's fortune outright, Rain Man put Dustin Hoffman's acting skills to the test in the lead role. To prepare for it he spent time with three autism sufferers, including six hours in the company of Peek. It was Peek's rapid monotone, rocking motions, ability to count cards and childlike emotions that Hoffman copied for the part. The resemblances between Peek and Raymond Babbitt ended there, however, for Peek was many times more complex and prodigious than his fictional alter ego, despite having the mental reasoning of a child of five. A scene in the film in which Raymond is taken to a casino and beats the house with his astounding skills in mental arithmetic never took place – despite the best efforts of Morrow, who asked Peek to read a book about gambling before taking him to a casino to try the experiment. Peek refused to enter the casino, saying he thought it unethical. The success of the film had some beneficial effects on Peek's life. He made many friends, and was awarded the high school certificate he had been denied more than 20 years earlier.

Neuroscientists who conducted tests discovered that he had no corpus callosum, the membrane that separates the two hemispheres of the brain and filters information. This meant that Peek's brain was effectively the equivalent of a giant databank, giving him his photographic memory. He was also the only savant known to science who could read two pages of a book simultaneously – one with each eye, regardless of whether it was upside down or sideways on. His ability to retain 98 per cent of the information he absorbed led to his designation "mega-savant"'.

After the release of Rain Man Peek and his father embarked on a series of public lecture tours, informing students, prisoners, pensioners and politicians of the need to treat all people equally. "Learning to recognise and to respect differences in others and treating them like you want them to treat you will bring the joy we all hope for", read the card that was handed out at each talk. Fran Peek estimated that his son addressed more than two million people.

Wishing to avoid accusations that he was taking advantage of his son's condition, Fran Peek never accepted money for these engagements. The talks were also a chance for Kim to demonstrate his extraordinary memory, including his faultless knowledge of the calendar stretching back 2,000 years.

The five universities which studied him in his adult life decided that he was a genius in at least 15 subjects, including music, geography, history and mathematics. Most savants reach a similar level in one or two subjects. Even more remarkably, doctors found that his powers increased as he aged. In 2004 a Californian hospital which works closely with Nasa persuaded Peek to undergo brain scans in the hope that a detailed map of his mind might allow them to understand more about many disorders, among them vertigo and motion sickness. By tracking the electrical impulses of Peek's brain, they were hoping to discover how people adapt to forces such as acceleration and gravity.

In 1996 Fran Peek published a book about his son, The Real Rain Man: Kim Peek. Never having any romantic inclinations, Kim Peek did not marry and had no children. His favourite possession was the Oscar which Morrow won for writing the Best Screenplay at the 1989 Oscars. Morrow gave it to Peek, who took it with him whenever he travelled. Kim Peek died of a heart attack. His father survives him.

Canadian Alexandre Despatie...

Canadian Alexandre Despatie performs a dive off of the 10-meter platform at the 2004 Athens Olympics.

First They Came...

First they came for the communists, and I did not speak out — because I was not a communist;
Then they came for the socialists, and I did not speak out — because I was not a socialist;
Then they came for the trade unionists, and I did not speak out — because I was not a trade unionist;
Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out — because I was not a Jew;
Then they came for me — and there was no one left to speak out for me.
[Pastor Martin Niemöller (1892–1984)]

My Two Dads...

"Last year mom and dad divorced. Dad now lives with his friend Frank." If you've never read one of these 'homosexuality is a fact of life' kids' books, that The Daily Mail gets ever-so excited about, now is your chance. Not sure why's it's entitled bizarre but nice little book.
http://www.sadanduseless.com/2010/03/bizarre-childrens-book-about-homosexuality/

Museum Of London...

There is a fab new app for the iPhone called Streetmuseum from the Museum Of London. It imagines you strolling through 19th Century London today and can superimpose images on what you see through the iPhone camera.

Old Spice...

Dammit, gotta get me some Old Spice.

How to Store & Organise Cats...

Lost Finale...

You know, there are two types of Lost fans: "journey" fans, and "destination" fans.

The former are those who enjoyed the characters and the act of discovering with them, who appreciated the development of each person we met on the island and their growth as human beings, and who viewed each episode as an experience and a thread in a large, sometimes flawed, usually beautiful tapestry.

The latter are those who merely tolerated the character arcs, who slogged through episodes for no other reason than to learn "the answers" to every question, who maintained a mental tally of every mystery posed by the series and kept score on which ones were fully resolved to their satisfaction and which weren't, and used that as a numerical basis on which to score the show.

I fully expect that the latter group is furious right now. I, as a "journey" fan, loved the finale.

Nike Ad for World Cup...

Road Safety...

The best road safety ad I've ever seen. Beautiful.

Canary...

"Women and gay people are the litmus test of whether a society is democratic and respecting human rights. We are the canaries in the mine."

Last night Darren, Stu and I went to see Jonathan Harvey's Canary at the Hampstead Theatre in glitzy Swiss Cottage.

It was a moving, funny, uplifting and often magical story about gay love, honesty, dishonesty and being brave enough to sing out at the top of your voice. The play spans almost 50 years, taking in the miners' strike, Aids and the legacy of suppressed secrets and lies in a family over two generations. Along the way we come across a primetime TV host, Queen Isabella, Eleanor Rigby, an 'aversion therary' doctor, Mary Whitehouse and those afore mentioned striking miners.

Still in previews the play is at times a little uneven - the first half perhaps being a tad over long - but the second picks up the pace wonderfully.

Highlight: the gay 'zap' of the Festival Of Light meeting.

Not quite Beautiful Thing but worth a night out.

The Habit Of Art...

Last night Stu and I went to see Alan Bennett's The Habit Of Art at Lyttelton Theatre on London's glitzy South Bank.

Starring Richard Griffiths and Alex Jennings the play centres on a fictional meeting between WH Auden and Benjamin Britten. The former is peeing into his washbasin, waiting for a rent boy to arrive in his college rooms and is stuck over his stanzas. The latter is sailing uncomfortably close to the wind with his new opera, Death In Venice.

The play is a play within a play. Auden and Britten, along with their biographer Humphrey Carpenter, are depicted as characters in a play called "Caliban's Day". We see a rehearsal of this play, so Griffiths and Jennings are in fact playing the actors playing Auden and Britten as well as Auden and Britten themselves. The piece is full of ideas, some filthy laughs and great performances. We pretty much laughed throughout. But it is also deeply and unexpectedly moving.

"In the end," said Auden, "art is small beer. The really serious things in life are earning one’s living and loving one’s neighbour."

A Midsummer Night's Dream...

Last Friday Andy, Kev, Ian, Stu and I went to Shakespeare's Globe on London's glitzy Bankside to see the touring production of A Midsummer Night's Dream.

The play features three interlocking plots, connected by a celebration of the wedding of Duke Theseus of Athens and the Amazonian queen, Hippolyta, and set simultaneously in the woodland, and in the realm of Fairyland, under the light of the moon.

It was a very high spirited production; teleporting us to the era of the 1920s Bright Young Things it told the familiar story of love, confusion and mirth. In it we see the lovers Lysander, Hermia, Helena, Demetrius, the Fairies Oberon, Titania and Puck, and of course the workmen Snout, Snug and Bottom all suffer unwanted amorous attentions and mistake each others identities with hilarious consequences. As the Bard puts it in Act I Scene I, "The course of true love never did run smooth."

The performance itself was sexy, slick and funny - as you might expect from such a talented cast. A cast that was small - numbering just eight - but perfectly formed. With so many parts played by so few it might have been hard to follow but it was only on one occasion that the confusion of the characters on stage translated into any real confusion in the audience as to who was who.

If you've not been to Shakespeare's Globe before. Go. It's only £5 to stand in the yard and the shows are excellent.

John Barrowman...

Holding The Man...

On Saturday night Chris, Christopher, Darren, Tim, Andy, Dean, Stu, myself and the rest of the gang went to see Holding The Man at the Trafalgar Studios in London's glitzy West End.

Timothy Conigrave's posthumously published memoir (on which Tommy Murphy's; Holding the Man is based) is highly regarded in Australia. The title derives from Australian Rules Football – “holding the man” is an offence that concedes a penalty. One of the characters in Murphy’s drama plays football, but his use of the phrase is, of course, more complex: it’s both literal and metaphorical. When Tim first makes a move to hold John, his classmate in a Catholic school in 1970s Australia, he initiates a love affair that will last, on and off, for the rest of their lives – and cost them both very dear. By 1994, both will have died from Aids – Tim tormented by the thought that his infidelities might have exposed John to HIV.

The staging of the play was basic but functional and served well. Four of the six-strong cast (including Kath and Kim's Jane Turner) performed impressive quick-change routines in the fast-moving production. The stars of the piece were undoubtedly the two leads though - Tim (Guy Edmonds) and particularly John (Matt Zeremes). They took us on a very funny (both 'peculiar' and 'ha-ha') journey from school-camp circle-jerk to a cringy Gay Soc meeting and a gruesome bar where the stylised conversation raises quite a knowing laugh; "Tee hee, ha ha, Babs, Judy, vagina, Rock Hudson, dizzy bitch, fist."

From this laugh out loud puppy love element in the first act Tim and John's relationship evolves, altering and faltering through separation and reunion. The play deepens just as they do, before the second act brings them face to face with HIV and eventually Aids. Moving though this development is, sadly it threatens to feel a bit dated to my tired old eyes - we had many an Aids deathbed drama in the late eighties and early nineties, from Larry Kramer’s ground-breaking The Normal Heart and Tony Kushner’s Angels in America, to William Finn’s wonderful one-act musical Falsettoland.

On a more positive note (pun intended), if a younger crowd do come to see the play this will be a welcome education to the scourge of Aids in the 1980s and 1990s. And nothing would bring this home better than the deep contrast between the funny first half and the bitingly emotional climax of the second half.

Come and see it. Better still bring your younger gay friends too.

Rugby Player Nick Youngquest...

Straight stable mate of Gareth Thomas at Crusaders RL is the lovely rugby player Nick Youngquest. Here is a photoshoot he did.

T-Shirt War...

A very funny little video of a T-Shirt war.

And I, For One, Welcome Our New Tory Insect Overlords...

"Ladies and gentlemen, uh, we've just lost the picture, but what we've seen speaks for itself. The Corvair spacecraft has apparently been taken over- 'conquered' if you will- by a master race of giant Tory space ants. It's difficult to tell from this vantage point whether they will consume the captive Earthman or merely enslave them. One thing is for certain: there is no stopping them; the ants will soon be here. And I, for one, welcome our new Tory insect overlords. I'd like to remind them as a trusted TV personality, I can be helpful in rounding up others to toil in their underground sugar caves." -- Kent Brockman

No HPH...

Julie Andrews: The Gift Of Music...

Stu, Faye, Andy and I went to see Julie Andrews at the O2 Arena last Saturday in her show The Gift Of Music. Boy, what a let down.

She barely sang all night. She had warned, “I don’t sing the way I used to, so I’m doing everything I can to put the word out that they shouldn’t expect that.” Well, Julie m'darlin' you didn't put the word out enough.

Her first time on the London stage in 30 years, she entered to a standing ovation with The Sound Of Music being screened in the background. Our hopes were high but we should have cottoned on that she wasn't actually singing as she came on stage. And things got worse.

In the first half she was joined on stage by the five beaming vocalists who performed hit songs from Rogers and Hammerstein musicals as Dame Julie mainly just looked on. Dame Julie completed only a handful of numbers on her own, disappeared from the stage for large chunks of the show, and the whole of the second half consisted of her reading aloud from a children's book she co-wrote with her daughter - the dreary Simeon's Gift. We sniggered throughout.

Twelve years ago it was feared Dame Julie would never sing again. She had entered hospital in June 1997 for the removal of a non-cancerous polyp on her vocal chords, but what should have been a simple surgical procedure went dreadfully awry and robbed her of her perfectly pitched singing voice. Devastated and trying to cope with the fact that her four-octave singing voice was destroyed, she underwent grief therapy at Sierra Tucson, an Arizona rehabilitation clinic noted for treating celebrity clients. Since then, with the support of her husband Blake Edwards and her family, and helped by a malpractice lawsuit she filed against the surgeons that was settled in 2000 for an estimated £20 million, she has come to terms with her loss and developed a new singing style. “I hope I’ll have a few surprises up my sleeve for the concert, but basically I have about five good bass notes and I can work my way around them pretty well,” she said. “I also employ that Rex Harrison sing-speak kind of voice. I narrate a lot, I tell tales, I show a great deal of footage, and I’ll be with the London Philharmonic Orchestra and will be helped by five Broadway entertainers.”

So there we have it. A rather pointless show which produced a rather disaffected audience - many of whom walked out in disgust. Oh, did I mention it was £106 a ticket? Shameful.

(See Debbie Reynolds for how to put on a great show if you're voice isn't quite what it was.)

Debbie Reynolds: Alive and Fabulous...

To kick off our anniversary week Stu and I went to see Debbie Reynolds in her Alive and Fabulous show at the Apollo Theatre in London's glitzy West End.

I've not laughed at the theatre so much for ages. She was very, very funny.

The show consisted of a mix of anecdotes, chatting to the audience, showing us film clips and singing. OK, her voice perhaps wasn't quite what it was but she is seventy-eight. Here are some of the things I remember from the show:-

"Thank you for coming. No one here is under fifty. Not unless someone over fifty bought you. Anyway, it was nice of you to come and see me before I die."

"I was born Mary." (Whoops from man in audience). "Oh, are you a Mary too, dear."

"I won a beauty competition at sixteen - I wanted to win the first prize; a scarf and a blouse. I ended up getting a contract at Warner Brothers."

"My first husband Eddie Fisher left me for Liz Taylor - she being three months older than me. I warned him that she'd dump him after fifteen months - and she did!"

"I'm Princess Leia's mother - that makes me a Queen... (eyes front row)... are you all Queens too?"

She showed many film clips such as 'Singing' in the Rain' and 'The Unsinkable Molly Brown' and sang along to all of the songs.

She told a dirty joke: A woman was at a party and said, "If any one can guess what's in my hand they can sleep with me". A man calls out, "an elephant?" The woman says, "close enough!"

She did a lovely 1940s melody and even did a rap to Three Little Fishes and did a bit of Beyoncé's Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It). Stu almost wet himself laughing.

"How do I look from up there?", she asked the balcony. "From down here (pointing to the front row again) I look like Lady Gaga."

She did some spot-on impressions too; Mae West, Jimmy Steward, Ethel Merman, Katharine Hepburn and Bette Davis among others and regaling each with stories from her days in Hollywood. Nice to have someone take the piss who actually knew the originals.

"Judy Garland and I were great friends. I'd put Carrie and Todd to bed and she'd put Liza, Lorna and Joey to bed and I'd go over to Judy's house for a drink. Then we'd wake Liza up and give her some!"

Her impression of Barbara Streisand was something to behold though. She looked, sounded and joked just like her. And it was very, very funny.

All in all Debbie Reynolds is a non-stop all-round old-school entertainer. Real show-biz, with all the razzmatazz of Hollywood. She obviously never wants to leave the stage. Always wanting to be in the spot-light. But it's a spot-light that casts a very long shadow. And I can't imagine how tough it must be having to walk in that shadow all your life (yes, I looking at you Carrie Fisher).

Four Years...

Happy Anniversary to my handsome, funny, sexy better half Stuart - it's been so great to find in you that one special person... to annoy for the rest of my life.

Vote Early! Vote Often!...

Agree/Disagree Crazy/Sensible Graph...

On a graph with the x-axis of agree/disagree and y-axis of crazy/sensible I'd say David Cameron would be in the upper right quartile. Gordon Brown would be in the upper left quartile. And Nick Clegg would making the tea.

Donny and Marie (and Kris) Murder Star Wars...

Cesc Fabregas...

Queen's Day...

We had a lovely long weekend in Amsterdam with Gary, Nau, Tim, Andy, Michael and Andrew. Shame I fell ill on the second day and missed some of the festivities though.

Koninginnedag (Queen’s Day)...

Koninginnedag (Queen’s Day) is celebrated on 30th April in Amsterdam. Actually the birthday of Juliana, mother of the current Queen Beatrix – Queen’s Day is an uproarious madhouse and highlight of the annual calendar. A ‘free market’ is held throughout the city, meaning anyone can sell anything they like, and the vast terrain of pavements (staked out by vendors well ahead of time) becomes a comical open-air showroom of items ranging from precious heirlooms to outright junk. Most people grab their orange wig and tights and hang on tight for musical revelry, rivers of beer and about two million happy visitors. You have to walk everywhere too, as the streets are too packed for the buses and trams to run.

Amsterdam Bound...

We're off with the gang to Amsterdam today for five days. We're going partly to celebrate Tim and Andy's birthday (which is today - Happy Birthday boys!), partly to celebrate the Dutch Queen Mother's birthday tomorrow (Queen's Day) and partly to just have a good time. I'm really looking forward to it as I've not been to Amsterdam for a year or two now.

I used to go there a lot actually. We had quite a few friends there so there was always somewhere to stay and also I had a man there for a while. Which is reason enough to go I guess. He was (is?) an airport security guy.

Thinking about it I've had some wild times in Amsterdam over the years - parties, clubs and just hanging out in bars and coffee shops. I love that city. Small but perfectly formed.

Nicklas Bendtner...

Yes, Nicklas I like tackle (fnah).

My Weekend...

At primary school on Monday mornings we used to have to sit at our little desks and write a tale of what we'd done over the previous weekend. It was called 'composition class' and the piece was always called the same thing; 'My Weekend'.

Friday evening: Out for drinks with Stu and his wheelchair chums in Warwick Avenue - nice guys, nice bar, nice time
Friday later on: Shake Your Tail Feather - Darren's monthly night just gets busier and busier. Great fun.
Friday still later on: Tonker - bumped into Dilwyn which is always a pleasure. Otherwise the club was a yawn.

Saturday afternoon: Duchess Of Kent in Liverpool Road for beers with Paul, Ali and Tom - they need to sort that smokey barbeque out though (cough, cough)
Saturday early evening: Arsenal vs Man City at the Emirates - we drew 0-0 but laughed and teased Adebayor a lot. Tee hee.
Saturday later evening: South Bank for eats at Las Iguanas and then to BFI for beers with Kerry, Shei and Ange - love them Essex girls

Sunday afternoon: Pub lunch with Andy, Kev, Darren and Stu - The Alwyne Castle; slow service but nice food
Sunday late afternoon: Ten Plagues a work-in-progress at The Royal Court with Paul, David, Joao and Darren - dressed in black Marc Almond et al were singing about the great plague. Needs more work done on it as was a bit boring. Marc's comic turn singing The Wig being the high point though.
Sunday evening: Back to the pub with Andy, Kev and Stu - the Hen and Chickens is fast becoming my favourite boozer.

Egyptian Tickets...

Here are some of the tickets we got for various sights on our recent trip travelling through Egypt.

Andrey Arshavin...

McAfee Screws Many of the World's Computers (and Itself)...

Ask most IT admins, computer technicians or power users which virus programs you should avoid, and the big two retail boxed options - Norton and McAfee - will usually be the first two words out of their mouths. In the enterprise, however, the situation is very different. Symantec and McAfee still have pretty strong reputations and a loyal customer base. Or they did.

In McAfee's case that reputation took a pretty big hit yesterday thanks to a major false positive. Their latest updated .dat file wrongly placed svchost.exe in the crosshairs and pulled the trigger rendering tens of thousands of corporate machines dead in the water.

Yes, McAfee has released a fix but it's one that has be applied hands-on at each affected computer. OK, only Windows XP computers seem to be affected but that still a hell of a lot of computers. That's going to create serious pains-in-the-ass for loads of admins and technicians around the globe and pissed off admins are never averse to switching software when it decides to create a titanic load of extra work for them.

So it's bye, bye McAfee. You won't be missed.

Fix here.

A Little Fun With An Office Paper Shredder...

"A little fun with an office paper shredder." Classic prank of the Candid Camera variety, making it look like people's letters are getting destroyed as they post them. Nice.

Tim and Andy's BBQ...

Last Saturday afternoon Tim and Andy invited the gang round for a BBQ in their lovely garden. We ate, we drank, we laughed. Nice to see the gang; Tim, Andy, Mark, Darren, Dean, Ed, Stu and me all having fun.

What's Your Pet Hate?...

Someone asked me the other day; "What's your pet hate?"

I said, "It doesn't really like things shoved up its arse."

Boom, boom.

Laurie Anderson - Delusion...

Laurie Anderson is in London this week for a four-night residency at the Barbican Theatre, where she is performing her latest piece, Delusion.

The show is an intimate, constantly evolving live show using multimedia to tell stories. The idea for the show started out as twenty linked stories but then developed into a play for two people which then iself turned into a picture show and then on to being a performance.

It's a performance. Art. Performance art.

Delusion is a hybrid.

Delusion is sad.

The lights come up on two white screens, one like an open book, the other resembling an upturned bed; on both, flashlit video images of rumpled sheets are being shown.

A bright, pulsing jewel, part heart, part diamond.

Leaves spiraling. Autumnal oak leaves buffeted by a storm.

On a purely sensual level, Delusion ranks with Anderson’s best.

It's a dream-like world.

Stories, poetic anecdotes, observations and meditations.

A camera mounted on Anderson’s microphone transmits two-storey-high head shots of the artist’s craggy visage while slanting strokes of light become an effective rainstorm.

Politicans debate.

John Kerry was asked "Do you love your wife?" He paused and then said, "I married 'up'". Ouch. Then he said "My mother said... On her death bed.... 'Integrity, integrity, integrity'". Needless to say, he lost the election.

Iceland.

Ash.

Part Swedish / Part Irish.

Haunting shrieks, folk-like drones.

Sensational visuals racing across the screens.

The idiot and the odyssey.

A dream sequence in which Anderson gives birth to her beloved dog, Lolabelle, are weird and hilarious and indeed weirdly hilarious.

Text-flecked animated chalkboard drawings of faces and dogs and little houses flow into surreal celluloid dream sequences that in turn become spooky faux graveside tableaux.

Women's second names... They don't have their own; given one by their father, given one by their husbands. Their mothers' name is lost. Yet secret. A secret name. What's is your mother's maiden name? The key to unlock your identity.

Think about your mother. Buddhists think about their mothers. They think about that time when your mother loves you completely. Unreservedly. Now expand that feeling to fill your time. Your mother loves unreservedly all the time.

Dead mother.

Did you ever love me?

Leaves spiraling round a grave.

I cried.

Delusion is smart, funny, emotionally engaging, and flat-out beautiful. In short, everything you’d expect from an artist of Anderson’s stature and reputation.

Pink Floyd's The Dark Side of the Moon on NES...

Or better still try Easy Star All-Stars' Dub Side of the Moon.

HD or not HD...

Have you got an High-Definition (HD) TV? Are you watching HD programs though? According to the latest research from the British Video Association (BVA) more than 6 million Britons think that they are already watching HDTV, completely unaware that they are not connected to the right set-top boxes or Blu-ray disc players that unlock the potential of their brand new HDTVs.

In a study of nearly 10,000 (9,500) respondents commissioned by the BVA, many viewers – over 55% of UK households - revealed that they have spent hundreds or even thousands of pounds on the latest High-Definition TV technology without seemingly having appreciated the experience high definition screens are meant to deliver, even though, in the vast majority of cases, the extra equipment they need is relatively cheap and widely available.

The most surprising finding is that 6.5 million people (1 in 10 of the population) think they are watching high definition content when actually they are not - they are watching Standard Definition (SD). In the survey 28% of people think they can watch movies in high definition with a DVD player when actually a Blu-ray player or a high definition set-top box is needed to do so, and a further 27% believe that an HDTV shows everything in high definition when in fact they need a Blu-ray player to actually view content in the best possible quality.

Mind you, I'm not sure I can always tell the difference between HD and SD. Maybe HD stands for Hardly Different.

Chris Kamara Misses Sending Off...

Marc Almond News...

OPEN ALL NIGHT RE-ISSUE
The first of a series of Marc Almond expanded re-issue CD's will be released
on Monday 12 April 2010 through Cherry Red Records. Open All Night was
originally released in 1999 to much acclaim and it's original and evocative
sound mixes elements of R and B, Gospel, Latin, Trip-Hop and Electronica.
It also contains duets with Siouxsie Sioux and former Sneaker Pimps vocalist
Kelly Ally.

The re-issue comes with an 18-track bonus disc, curated by Marc Almond
himself, of original song demos, film soundtrack rarities and alternative
versions of tracks recorded at the time of the 1999 Open All Night Sessions.
See the News page on the website for the full tracklisting.

MOJO HONOURS LIST 2010 PRESENTS MARC ALMOND
Mojo Honours List 2010 present Marc Almond live at the Jazz Cafe in Camden
Town, London on Wednesday 7 June as part of Mojo Magazine's "Mojo
Presents..." concert series. Tickets are available from 9am Monday 12 April
from www.ticketmaster.co.uk/event/1F004488E6227A74 and are extremely
limited.

Sky's 3D TV Service...

Sky's 3D TV service has gone live, broadcasting live Premier League games. But in which pubs can you watch the matches? Sky has put its promised pub search site on line now, allowing footie fans to key in their post codes and get a list of - hopefully - nearby pubs they can visit to view the action.

http://3d.sky.com/pubfinder

My nearest ones are frighteningly near; The Junction in Corsica Street and Slug and Lettuce on Islington Green.

So yesterday Mark and I went along to The Junction to try it out. Manchester United were playing Blackburn. It cost £5 to rent the glasses (all goes to charity apparently) and £5 deposit. The image was OK-ish I suppose. A bit like looking out of as smallish window at the touchline. It gave me a headache after a while so I don't think we'll be rushing back any time soon.

RIP Malcolm McLaren...

Malcolm McLaren died yesterday. His web site says "Malcolm will return shortly..." Spooky.

Stuart P's Birthday...

 

David Cunningham's 40th...

 

I Did Not Change The Names...

...there are no innocents to protect.

Cardiff...

Hair...

The first proper date Stu and I went on was to see a revival of the 1967 hippy musical Hair at the Gate Theatre in 2005. Twelve years earlier than that coincidentally we'd both seen the same 1993 production at The Old Vic starring Sinitta and John Barrowman. We are obviously both big fans.

So it was with a light heart we went to the opening night of the new production at The Gieldgud last night. Made all the lighter knowing that the entire New York cast had relocated to London for the show.

Hair is undoubtabably a great musical. A rock musical no less. The first of its kind. It explores dramatic themes throughout, most of which are displayed right there on stage; swearing, drug use, overt sexuality, anti-war, anti-racism and nudity. What's not to like?

The songs are great too; Aquarius, Donna, Sodomy, Ain't Got No, Hair, Be-In (Hare Krishna), Good Morning Starshine and of course the seminal Let the Sun Shine In.

This new production did the the material justice. It was active, energetic and enthusiastic. Simply staged it allowed the great singing to come to the fore. The audience were involved from start to finish being encouraged to join in as the action on the stage bled into the auitorium. Climbing over the seating the cast sang, danced, handed out posters and passed round flowers. By the finale the audience were so involved they flooded onto the stage to join in the fun.

Great show. We're going again.

Thief...

The thief who is stealing T-shirts in order of size is still at large.

Live Webcast. Fail...

Sometimes people just get it wrong.

A Sporty Blow-job?...

The London Olympics logo - is it just me of does it look like Lisa Simpson administering a sporty blow-job?

Peter Gabriel @ The O2...

On Saturday night Paul, Simon and I went to see Peter Gabriel perform at The O2 Arena in London's glitzy Greenwich peninsula. My word it was a good night. And The Guardian agrees.

The show was the New Blood Tour 2010 promoting his recent Scratch My Back covers album. The first half was this new album with each track back to back and the second half was all the hits and more (the 'more' being a full orchestra.)

The light show was, as you might expect from the master of the visual, rather special too.

The set list was:

First Half
Sledgehammer (orchestra intro)
Heroes
The Boy In The Bubble
Mirrorball
Flume
Listening Wind
The Power Of The Heart
My Body Is A Cage
The Book Of Love
I Think It's Going To Rain Today
Apres Moi
Philadephia
Street Spirit (Fade Out)

Second Half
San Jacinto
Digging In The Dirt
Downside Up
Signal To Noise
Mercy Street
The Rhythm Of The Heat
The Drop
Darkness
Solsbury Hill

Encore
In Your Eyes
Don't Give Up
The Nest That Sailed The Sky

The Little Dog Laughed...

Last night Stu, Darren, Duncan and I went to see The Little Dog Laughed at the Garrick Theatre in London's glitzy West End.

The play is a comedy and tells the story of an agent who plans to buy a successful Broadway gay play, make it into a film but betray the scriptwriter and give the piece a happy heterosexual ending. She firmly believes its box office chances will be ruined if the actor she has in mind for the main role reveals that he is indeed gay. But the plans start to go ary when the closeted actor falls for a rent-boy - much to annoyance of the former's agent and latter's girlfriend.

As the play progresses we wonder if we might actually be watching the very film script the agent has always secretly been planning.

Tamsin Greig plays the manipulating agent perfectly. Rupert Friend and Harry Lloyd ensure that the love story ot the play's heart doesn't get too lame, while former Bond girl Gemma Arterton turns in a standout performance as the 'Jilted Joan'.

We really enjoyed it.

They're Justified and They're Ancient and They Like to Roam the Land...

Lost Camera...

These are the photos this guy always keeps on his digital camera in case he loses it. That way, whoever finds the camera and looks through the stored photos gets a nice little story with instructions on how to return it to the owner.

Nice idea, huh?

 http://www.andrewmcdonald.net.au/a-pictorial-guide-to-avoiding-camera-loss/

Sometimes I Disgust Even Myself...

I did something so disgusting eight years ago it's only recently I can even bring myself to talk about it. It was so vile, so yucky, so out of character and so outrageous that my then partner Marky almost disowned me on the spot. He was so embarrassed he wouldn't even walk with me on the way home from the incident. I will never, ever, ever be able to go there again. And I'm truly ashamed. I'm blushing even now. OK, I was more than a little drunk. But that's no excuse. No. Really. It isn't.

So what did I do?

Well, we were on our way home from the pub and feeling a bit peckish popped into a kebab house (name withheld) on St Paul's Road for some take-home grub. We got to the front of the queue, placed our order and stepped to one side to let the people behind us get served. So far so good.

Waiting for the food to be ready I rather absent-mindedly wandered over to the mirrored wall opposite the counter. I paused for a moment and then peered more closely studying my face in the mirror. OK, now here's the awful bit... I then reached my hands up to my face and between my thumb tips squeezed a particularly large spot that was all white and ripe for bursting. The entire shop watched as a fountain of white pus spurted all over the mirror in front of me. Seemingly satisfied with this facial fungus evacuation I took one last look in the mirror before turning back round to face the counter. I must has missed the looks of horror on the faces of the other occupants of the shop. A heartbeat later one of the assistants reached down below the counter and withdrew some disinfectant spray and a cloth. He lifted the wooden counter flap, stepped forward and wiped all the mess I'd made off the mirror without saying a word. To my shame I didn't say anything either. I didn't even apologise. I just waited at the counter for our kebabs. By the time we left with our food it was perhaps gradually dawning on me that something might have been up. Yes, Marky had seemed particularly agitated since I'd stepped back from the mirror. And, yes, I think people might have been staring at me. But at the time I didn't fully realise the cause of either Marky's agitation or indeed that those stares were ones of utter disgust and loathing.

Once outside Marky erupted in a fountain of his own. He was livid.

Needless to say, however hungry I've been, I've never had the courage to darken that particular kebab house's door again.

Large Hardon Collider...

Good old telegraph.co.uk

Muscle March...

Category: Action
Players: 1-4
Age rating: 3
Publisher: NAMCO BANDAI Games Europe
Release date: 19/03/2010
Wii Points: 500
Game language: English

Muscle March is the first WiiWare title to offer a polar bear in Speedos.

Charlie Brooker on News Reports...

A good deconstruction by Charlie Brooker on how news reports are put together - might temporarily put you off watching the news as you'll just be spotting the format points for a bit.

The Power of Understatement...

"It is never very difficult to distinguish between a Scotsman with a grievance and a ray of sunshine."
[P. G. Wodehouse]

Satyagraha...

Last night Paul treated me to Satyagraha at the ENO. It was brilliantly hypnotic. Jaw-droppingly wonderful. In has to be in the top ten best things I've seen on stage. Ever.

The opera is in three acts for orchestra, chorus and soloists. It was composed by Philip Glass, with a libretto by Glass and Constance de Jong. It's loosely based on the life of Mohandas Gandhi. The term satyagraha is the philosophy and practice of nonviolent resistance developed by Gandhi himself.

Act I. Tolstoy
On the Kuru Field of Justice
Tolstoy Farm (1910)
The Vow (1906)

Act II. Tagore
Confrontation and Rescue (1896)
Indian Opinion (1906)
Protest (1908)

Act III. King
New Castle March (1913)

Philip Glass's music is simply glorious: those repetitive patternings shifting and shining with ingenious rhythmic and melodic ideas, interlocking, overlapping, yet ever calm. But it was the staging that made the night so wonderful. So enchanting.

The director of the piece was Phelim McDermott (Shockheaded Peter) and Julian Crouch is the assistant director and set designer. Boy, they did an amazing job.

All three acts take place within an arc-like wall of curving corrugated iron. Within the slow waves of music and human movement, an ensemble of acrobats and puppeteers conjure miracle after miracle. Newsprint looms large: there is a ubiquitous whispering of newspaper as sheets are shifted, read (the founding of Indian Opinion was central to Gandhi’s work) — and then, almost imperceptibly, formed into gigantic papier-mâché puppet-figures of gods, beasts and politicians.

High in the iron wall, windows disclose the three iconic figures who watch over the three acts: Tolstoy, Tagore and Martin Luther King.

The beauty of the sung Sanskrit is bewitching: sober sepia projections of key passages replace supertitles; but verbal comprehension isn’t really the point. Although it would be inappropriate to single out individual performances in a work that has so little to do with conventional operatic glory, Alan Oke’s central performance as Gandhi is a masterpiece of compelling clarity and absorption.

As the last act unfolds, the great wall buckles and disintegrates, leaving a miming silhouette of the preaching King high on his plinth, and the diminutive figure of Gandhi below, singing a simple rising scale — no fewer than thirty times.

Stand out moments of the night for me were:
- the amazing floating coat hangers and the equally amazing floating lights lifted up high
- the weaving and crumpling up of a huge web of sellotape to produce at first a barrier, then a giant puppet man then an image of Gandhi himself
- the long newspaper streams across the stage that became first a barrier, then wings for Gandhi and then again sky high banners for projecting words all in one fluid motion.

Image after image is etched indelibly on the memory, in its masterly fusion of the aural and the visual. Go see.

What is hard and seven inches long?...

My pen is.

I Love You Phillip Morris...

Last night Stu and I went to I Love You Phillip Morris. I'd been dying to see this film since I first heard about it and it's trouble in gaining a cinema release.

The film is a comedy-drama film based on the real life events of gay con artist, impostor, and multiple prison escapee Steven Jay Russell and his love for prison cell mate Phillip Morris. And it certainly was an unusual film. An unbelievably twisted story that can only be based on real events. Quite sweet in parts and rather explicit in others.

In fact four people walked out. The frequent blow jobs they were fine with. I don't think they liked Jim Carrey and Ewan McGregor kissing each other. To some, a kiss is far more threatening than a blow job.

If you fancy a diverting trip to the cinema give it a whirl!

Whom The Gods Would Destroy...

'Tis a tough day at the grindstone today. Things generally 'work' or can be 'fixed'. People on the other hand 'don't' or 'can't'. People are cunts. Still, firm hand on the tiller today and full steam ahead. I shall come through this with my sanity intact. Whom the gods would destroy, they first make mad.

10 types of people...

There are only 10 types of people in the world. Those who understand ternary, those who don't and those who mistake it for binary.

In Praise of the Sci-fi Corridor...

There's a moment in every geek's life when one goes for the 'communal hug' on a pet-subject and finds oneself unexpectedly out in the cold. The piano player stops playing. The landlord shakes his head as his eyes head heavenward, and he slinks away to rearrange the crisps. The lonely sound of a misdirected dart is all that haunts the otherwise silent pub. And it's definitely time to get your anorak. "You like what...?"

Corridors in science-fiction movies. This guy loves them.

Egypt Photos...

 

Jordan Photos...

 

Put A Donk On It (signed)...

I love the way the BSL signer gamely enters into the spirit of this frankly ludicrous song. "Big fish, little fish, cardboard box" indeed.

Doctor Who...

The first three episodes of the new Doctor Who have been confirmed as:

The Eleventh Hour, written by Steven Moffat
The Beast Below, also by Steven Moffat
Victory of the Daleks by Mark Gatiss

They will be shown from Easter Saturday.

Carol Vorderman - Swearing!...

The Genius Of Wenger...

Almunia - 2.5mil
Sagna - 6mil
Campbell - free
Vermaelen - 10mil
Clichy - 0.25mil
Song - 1 mil
Diaby - 2mil
Nasri - 12mil
Rosicky - 6.8 mil
Arshavin - 15mil
Bendtner - 0.2mil
Fabianski - 2mil
Eduardo - 7.5mil
Walcott - 9.1mil
Denilson - 3.4mil
Silvestre - 0.75mil
Eboue - 1mil
Traore - 0.25mil
Total cost: £79.75 mil

In the time since we bought these players we have made £140mil in transfers out. Also the average Chelski team (e.g. team fielded against us in November) cost £280mil - check transferleague.co.uk

Wenger is a transfer GENIUS.

Windows 3.1 in JavaScript

Clever reconstruction of Windows 3.1 http://www.michaelv.org.nyud.net/

How To Enjoy A 3D Movie...

Periodic Table...

Do you know what the chemical elements look like? No? Well look no further than here: http://periodictable.com/