A big Caribbean smile beamed at us like a lighthouse as we arrived.
“Welcome to the Iberostar Selection Coral Bávaro. Your home from home.
I see you are a Platinum member.
Is this your first time staying with us in the Dominican Republic?”
“Yes, yes it is”
“And what brings you two fine gentlemen here to our lovely tropical paradise? To the beautiful Iberostar Selection Coral Bávaro, your home from home?”
I think, “you said ‘home from home’ thing already”. Anyway…
“Well, Stuart here, he works in a hospice. In London. End of life. People who are dying. So he really needs a break. A ‘do nothing’ holiday.”
The guy at reception smiles an even bigger smile back at us.
“How lovely. So you both came to the Iberostar Selection Coral Bávaro, your home from home, you and your friend, for a break. How lovely.”
Stuart gives me a funny look. He fears what’s coming next.
“And, and, it’s also our 20th anniversary. We are also here to celebrate. 20 years together. Last week.”
The guy looks at me. Then glances at Stuart. Then back at me.
Stuart’s face is a picture. A picture Edvard Munch would paint. Thunder meets inner rage meets terror.
“That’s wonderful. 20 years? Together? How lovely. We will all make sure you both have a very special time here at the Iberostar Selection Coral Bávaro, your home from home. A very special time indeed.”
All the reception staff exchange glances. Each one puts on one of those big smiles where the mouth is smiling but the eyes aren’t.
“Victor will take you to your room. It’s right on the beach.”
As we are taken to our room by golf cart, and slightly out of earshot from our handsome driver Victor, Stuart hisses through his own fake smile with gritted teeth.
“What on earth did you say that for? About our anniversary.”
“Why? They’re aren’t homophobic”
“No. I know that. But if there are fucking rose petals on our bed tonight or sun loungers tomorrow - or worse, a fucking band comes to play at our fucking table like in Mexico - we’re leaving! I mean it!”
“Sorry Stu. It’ll be fine. I’m sure they won’t make a fuss.”
They will. They really will.
Wish me luck. Our very own home from home indeed. And who says romance doesn’t travel well?
