My mother, me fairy, and my fairy godmother. 👵🏳️‍🌈👵😂

 

Anchors Away…

We flew to Malta yesterday. To start a 10-day  family Mediterranean cruise. Those who know me know how much I like cruises. Which is to say not at all. Zero. Less than zero in fact. I hate them. 

So why did I agree to come? Well, it’s Myrtle’s 90th birthday trip. So of course I had to come. And my brother Simon and sister Joanna are here too. So there’s that. Oh and my (fairy) godmother Carol and her daughter Vanessa are onboard. So maybe it won’t be that bad after all. Maybe. 

Shoulders back, chest out, big smile. 

Things didn’t start that well though. We sat on a foggy Gatwick tarmac for two hours in a cramped EasyJet non-recliner waiting for the Great British weather to allow us to take off. Foggy start. 

And just when we thought we’d got the all-clear to fly, some old boy at the back of the plane was taken ill and needed to be taken off the flight. I felt sorry for his wife. Everybody was staring at them as they stool in the aisle giving them evils while we waited for what seemed like hours for the jet bridge to be reattached.

EasyJet Saga-louts are a force of nature. Much akin to fireworks - it doesn’t take much to set them off but when they do, they tend burn bright before dropping like stones. 

Anyway, we were eventually on our way.  And after five hours of sitting in an uncomfortable 2A window seat we had landed, been whisked through the airport, onto our transfer bus and off to Valletta port. 

The Balmoral is small by comparison to other cruisers, but still pretty big.  1300 odd passengers.  600 odd crew.  Very odd. 

I’m sharing a room with my brother Simon, and to be honest, the room is pretty big. A nice balcony.  And lots of space to store our clothes.  

We met up with the others for some afternoon tea after unpacking before changing for dinner.  Food was really nice.  Basic wines included.  

After supper, we went to go and watch “the show”.  Let’s just say it was interesting.  More of that another time.  

The ship set sail about 10pm as it was cruising overnight. The sea was a little bit choppy so we were rolling around causing a few of the cabin’s internal furniture doors to fly open. They probably thought it was a really good idea to put internal lights in the cupboards. But when it’s pitch black and you are at sea and random cupboard doors fly open and the lights come on you do feel a bit like you’re in a ghost ship.  

Still, I slept ok. 

As we are at sea, there’s obviously no mobile data.  But they do have (rather pricey) Internet access on board. So all is not lost.

But sadly it won’t let me buy any Arsenal tickets as the Arsenal ticket hub is rejecting connections from the ocean! 🌊 It must think I’m a pirate! 🏴‍☠️🤣 Shiver m’Timber! 

Maybe it’ll be a good opportunity for a digital detox.  Let’s see.  

Nottingham Forest 0 - 1 Arsenal…

A dreadful first half with a stubborn Forest defence. Had to run. Then managed to watch Noni Madueke off the bench saving us from the indignity of a draw. His deflected winner was hardly a work of art, but points aren’t awarded for aesthetics. Six wins from six, and Manchester City still three points ahead. Keep grinding, Gunners!

Onwards and upwards, my friends. 

🥅 #NFOARS #Arsenal #COYG

Forest…

Nottingham Forest, we’re coming for you!

@Arsenal ⚽️

@Regenersaurus 🦖 

#COYG 🔴⚪️

#NFOARS 🥅 

Ilford Boy @donmarwarehouse…

Friday night Stuart and I went to see Ilford Boy at the Donmar Warehouse in London’s glitzy Seven Dials. Danny Lee Wynter’s queer family drama serves up 80s and 90s Ilford with chaos, laughter, tough love and delightful Essexisms. Well written, subtle, sharp and witty. A coming of age story with proper heart.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

@donmarwarehouse #IlfordBoy #Theatre #LondonTheatre

Triumph @almeida_theatre…

Yesterday afternoon Darce and I went to see Triumph at the Almeida Theatre in London’s glitzy Islington. Caryl Churchill’s 15 minute political gut punch, with Matthew Beard and Kate O’Flynn, serves up Roman emperors, a blonde happy press secretary (strike a chord?) at a podium, and authoritarian rot. Suetonius meets today’s news cycle. Grim, funny and alarmingly familiar.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

#Triumph #CarylChurchill #AlmeidaTheatre

Some Woman @ Dorfman Theatre…

Last Friday night Stuart and I went to see Some Woman at Dorfman Theatre in London’s glitzy South Bank. Anne-Marie Duff is superb in Helen Edmundson’s unsettling drama. Everyday misogyny, a legal system primed to distrust women and believe an 11 year old boy, and toxic masculinity chillingly in plain sight. Three stars for a sobering night out.

⭐️⭐️⭐️

@nationaltheatre #SomeWoman #Theatre

Avenue Q @ Shaftesbury Theatre…

Last night Darce and I went to see Avenue Q at the Shaftesbury Theatre in London’s glitzy West End.

The furry little horrors are good fun, with clever songs and some very naughty puppetry. But for a show supposedly shocking enough to scandalise the neighbourhood, it felt rather tame. Sesame Street with social commentary, really. The Bad Idea Bears steal the show.

⭐️⭐️⭐️

#AvenueQ #WestEnd #MusicalTheatre

Happy 90th Birthday Myrtle…

Happy 90th Birthday, Myrtle. I’m very proud of you, you know.  

Proud of everything you’ve done in your life. All the people you’ve cared for; that you have helped. That you have loved. Not only your family, but your wide circle of friends too. 

I love your sense of fun. And that sense of wonder you have at all things new. Your desire to learn, to read, to listen, to study, to understand. 

And your keen sense of humour you have. I don’t think I’ve laughed as hard as I have with you. 

If I just have inherited just a small part of any of your honesty, kindness, and sense of adventure I should feel a very lucky son. 

What I do know is you have given me such unconditional love from the day I was born that I have always felt safe and warm in your arms as a babe and in your smile as an adult. 

You’ve made me the man I am.  And if I don’t say it enough, thank you. 

❤️❤️