The Red Lion...

Last night Roger and I went to see The Red Lion at the Dorfman Theatre on London's glitzy South Bank.

The roar of the crowd, the passion, the glory, the smell of the dank locker-room, the testosterone, the aggression, the corruption, the secrets, the back-room deals - and that was just in the theatre foyer (boom, boom.)

Patrick Marber's three-hander The Red Lion tells the story of small-time semi-professional grass-roots non-league football club, its staff and players. The arrival of a new young player (Calvin Demba) brings out the best and the worst in everyone - not least the wheeler-dealer manager (Daniel Mays) and long serving kit man (Peter Wight).

The locker room is lovingly realised by Anthony Ward, Patrick Marber's script is electric and Ian Rickson's production shines.

Recommended.

Three Days In The Country...

Last Friday night Stuart and I went to see Three Days In The Country at the Lyttelon Theatre on London's glitzy South Bank.

Chekhovian at its melancholic heart the story is one of unrequited love, deep regret and doomed bittersweet dalliance. Oh, and it's laugh out loud funny.

Starring Mark Gatiss and John Simm this freely adapted production is a cut down version of Ivan Turgenev's 1850 comic play A Month In The Country but with more jokes and snappier action. Patrick Marber's fresh English translation has a very contemporary feel and it was only the odd Russian song that pulled the action back to Ivan Turgenev original isolated Russian setting.

Gatiss is a joy as the all too frank doctor and his failed attempts to woe his intended and similarly Simm's sardonic suitor simply smolders.

Recommended.

The Doctor Who connection between these two actors is brought into sharp relief when at one point Gatiss's character exclaims to Simm's character, "Good advice... (pause) from THE MASTER."

The Motherf**ker with the Hat...

Last night Stuart and I went to see the play that dare not speak it's name... The Motherf**ker with the Hat (oh let's give it it's proper title The Motherfucker with the Hat) at the Lyttelton Theatre on London's glitzy South Bank.

And giving it it's proper title is what we must do because the description as, "a high-octane verbal cage match about love, fidelity and misplaced haberdashery" doesn't even begin to describe the level of swearing that this play contains. It f-bombs, it s-bombs, it c-bombs.. like a motherf**cking trouper.

It takes swearing to a higher level. It uses swearing as the oxygen of the characters. It's almost poetic swearing. It is swearing to an epic level.

But the key thing here is it's not swearing for swearing's sake. This is how these characters talk. How they communicate. These are all recovering addicts - some more recovering than others - whose Shakespearean tale of messy misdeeds, mealy-mouthed mistresses and monumental misdirection requires, no *demands* the use of the modern poetry of the streets.

The swearing makes the dialogue seem both raw and genuine and also provides some quite hilarious zingy one-liners.

Here is one example (beware, swearing ahead.) One character makes a quite off the cuff remark saying, "I didn't fuckin' do da shit, don't put da shit o' me, I'd rather spit in a nun's cunt." You get the idea.

If you get a chance, go. It  is very, very funny.You motherf**kers!

Carsten Höller: Decision...

Last Sunday Stuart and I went to the Carsten Höller: Decision exhibition at the Hayward Gallery on London's glitzy South Bank.

The Belgian artist's work was in turn amazing, baffling, funny, clever, odd... but always great fun. 

Upside down glasses, pitch black corridors that you had to feel your way through, virtual reality headsets, pills you eat, giant spinning mushrooms, flying harnesses and, hey, even scaredy-cat me ventured down the giant metal helter skelters down the side of the building.

Recommended!

Rules for Living...

Last Friday night Stuart and I went to see Rules for Living at the Dorfman Theatre on London's glitzy South Bank.

Starring Stephen Mangan as eldest son Adam the play takes place on a Christmas Day with a dysfunctional family assembling. Adam and his wife are secretly living apart, younger son Matthew has bought his new loud girlfriend and father is returning from hospital. Edith the mother is just trying to hold it all together.

The play is strongly reminiscent of the French and Saunders dinner party sketch where nothing is too much trouble and the hostess can't wait for the guests to leave. But in this case everyone is the 'hostess'.

Petty jealousies, random traditions and lasting grudges show these people all stuck in their repetitive patterns of negative behaviour.

As things go from bad to worse the rules of their behaviour get flashed up on screens - "must sit down to lie", "cleans to stay calm" etc.

I should perhaps state that this is a comedy - and a very funny one at that. But it's also a sort of self-diagnosed family cognitive behaviour therapy (CBT) session. The question the play poses is can each character break these rules and 'get happy'?

Not perhaps the riot is could have been but very funny all the same. Painful to watch at times as it perhaps reminds one of family events all too plainly.

3 stars.

JOHN...

Last night Darren, Stuart and I went to see JOHN at the Lyttelton Theatre on London's glitzy South Bank.

A co-production with DV8 Physical Theatre the fascinating story was of a man John - a verbatim piece telling us of his abusive father, his chaotic and frankly shocking family life, his descent into a life of shagging, unplanned kids, drug abuse, crime, the courts, and eventually prison. And then his release on probation and discovery of his awakening sexuality.

The wooden set constantly rotated, as doors were opened and closed to John.

Where the piece perhaps lost it's focus a bit was when it broadened out to let us hear from the customers and owners of a gay male sauna that John frequented. This was in itself a fascinating topic of how the hunt for sex is more exciting than the actual encounter and deserved a show all of its own - but we wanted to hear more from John and his story by this point.

That said, the show was a superb exploration of first a life of abuse, then institutionalisation and then eventually the search for some kind of intimacy. It was in turns funny, moving, preachy, tragic and beautifully performed.

Recommended.

Great Britain...

Last Saturday night Stuart and I went to see Great Britain at the National's Lyttelton Theatre on London's glitzy South Bank. It's a zeitgeist comedy written by Richard Bean about tabloid phone-hacking. Not convinced? Well, it's very funny.

Starring Billie Piper, amongst many other luminaries, it is rude, crude and right on the money. Like a especially good episode of Drop The Dead Donkey it tears into the tabloid newspaper industry, the police and the political establishment. No one comes off well. Not least us as newspaper's readers.

Directed by Nicholas Hytner and designed by Tim Hatley it is a delight of a show - only held back from a launch earlier in the year by a certain court case. Ahem.

If you want to laugh for 2h 45 mins pretty much non-stop this is the play for you! Almost every gag is a winner.

Highly recommended.

Lichtenstein Retrospective Exhibition...

On Sunday Stu and I went to see the Roy Lichtenstein retrospective exhibition at the Tate Modern on London's glitzy South Bank. It was a Wow! It was a Pow! It was a hit! Go see!

Liza Minnelli...

Last Friday night Darren and Stuart and I went to the Royal Festival Hall on London's glitzy South Bank to see the wonderful Liza Minnelli. And she was sensational. Almost as good as she was back in 2002.

The crowd at the RFH had all turned into constantly clapping, constantly standing ovators. They clapped as each song started, the clapped and whooped at each mid-song pause and then they stood and clapped and cheered at the end of each. And I'm sorry to admit dear reader that I was also one of those people.

All the hits and more - Alexander's Ragtime Band, New York New York, Cabaret, Maybe This Time, Say Liza (Liza With A “Z”)... sadly no Money Money Money though.

Half way through Liza's set she performed the gay classic "What Makes a Man a Man?" With a silver sequinned top, a blacked out stage, a trembling voice and a single spotlight... 2500 of us held our breath as she sang. Utter silence. Just the soft sound of tears falling. A heartbeat after she finished... the place erupted. Boy, she knows her audience and milked it to the last drop. Adrella would have been proud.

A great show. A great woman. Show-stoppers every song. Her's to the next ten years until we see you again Liza.

And if I may divert a little, it got us talking afterwards about what actually does make a man a man. And all I could think of was what my Dad once told me, "a man makes decisions and lives with the consequences." Admittedly I was only 8 at the time and wanted to change my plain ice cream cornet for a 99 but I guess he was making a point.

Light Show...

Yesterday Stu and I went to see Light Show at the Hayward Gallery on London's glitzy South Bank.

Optical illusions, shining LEDs and subtle light changes all combined and juxtaposed over 22 pieces made for a short but dazzling show.

Some of the flashing stropes left us somewhat disorientated but all in all a good watch.

Meltdown: Elizabeth Fraser...

A few weeks ago Stu, David, Darren and I went to see Elizabeth Fraser as part of the Antony Hegarty curated Meltdown festival at The Royal Festival Hall on London's glitzy South Bank.. Three stars - and two of them for old times sake. A country and western version of Song to the Siren - oh please. Cheer up, woman!

Meltdown 2012: Laurie Anderson Dirtday!...

A few weeks ago Paul and I went to see Laurie Anderson perform Dirtday! as part of the Antony Hegarty curated Meltdown festival at The Royal Festival Hall on London's glitzy South Bank. The third and last in her series of solo story works, which includes Happiness and The End of the Moon, Dirtday! is the culmination of Anderson's ground breaking work in this genre. Dirtday! sees Anderson present her views on politics, theories of evolution, families, history, and even animals. Set against a detailed and lush sonic landscape, the powerful and soulful collection of songs and stories create a unique picture, a hallucinatory world made of dreams and reality. We simply loved it.

The Last of the Haussmans...

Last night Stu, Ollie, Toby and I went to see The Last of the Haussmans at the Lyttelton Theatre part of The Royal National Theatre on London's glitzy South Bank.

The Last of the Haussmans is a new play by Stephen Beresford starring Julie Walters as the anarchic, feisty but growing old, high society drop-out Judy Haussman who holds court in her dilapidated Art Deco house on the Devon coast. Rory Kinnear and Helen McCrory play her wayward offspring.

After an operation, Judy Haussman’s joined by said offspring Nick and Libby, sharp-eyed granddaughter Summer, local doctor Peter, and Daniel, a troubled teenager who makes use of the family’s crumbling swimming pool. Together they share a few sweltering months as they alternately cling to and flee this louche and chaotic world of all-day drinking, infatuations, long-held resentments, free love and failure.

The play examines the fate of the revolutionary generation and offers a funny, touching and at times savage portrait of a family full of longing that’s losing its grip.

The three main cast were excellent. The play is a little baggy though. Maybe it'll tighten up through the run.

"The only thing to be in life is a rebel."

"Let’s show this younger generation what it’s all about! Shall we get naked?"

Udderbelly...

Stu and I had a really nice night out with David and Andrew on Saturday night. We went to Udderbelly on the South Bank to see the best of the Comedy Store. Great fun. We'd not seen the boys in a while and they had some news. They are returning to Sydney to live. Something that they have been talking about for some time actually. It'll be really sad to see them go - but hopefully gives us a good excuse to go and see them once they're settled.

La Soiree...

Last Saturday Mick Clark, Wyn Blight, Heath McIntyre, Tim Eaton, Johannes Ziehl, Stuart Archer, me, Juggy Jones, Mark Ashley, Stuart Wetherell, Elton Rocha, Andrei Nikulin, Nick Rigg, Ben Burch, Oliver Lan, Jeremy Summerfield, Johnny Woodbine, Robert Wood, Simon Jaffer and our organiser Chris J Davis all went to see La Soiree on the South Bank. Lots of eye-popping cabaret in a circus tent. Go see, go see, go see. It's fab. More snaps here.

Vinopolis...

For my birthday a few months ago Darren and Mark bought me a couple of tickets to go on a wine-tasting trip around Vinopolis in London's glitzy South Bank. A few weeks ago Stu and I booked our visit and headed off to get tanked. We took the sampling lesson and then worked our way around the sampling tables for six wines, two rums, two absinthes, two whiskeys, two beers and a Bombay Sapphire gin cocktail. Great fun. Hic. We even returned to Vinopolis for Stu's Christmas party a few weeks later. Double-hic.

John Waters...

Last Friday Darren and I went to the Queen Elizabeth Hall on London's glitzy South Bank to see auteur John Waters.

JW is a filmmaker par excellence who exercises creative control over his work and has a strong personal style. And what a fantastically twisted, sick, subversive and funny style it is. Be it in his films, his art or his writing.

He was on stage and in conversation with Phillip Hoare to discuss his life, work and his new book Role Models.

He was very funny. Very. All too short at 90 minutes though. 

The Accomplice: London...

It all started with a call.
The deep, calm voice asked if we're alone. We were, so instructions poured forth on precisely where and when we were to meet our co-conspirators. And so began the game-cum-tour experience which is the Menier Chocolate Factory's Accomplice: London, an exercise in immersive theatre.
It was Stu's birthday treat for me and what a treat it was. Right up my alley. Puzzles, team work, a goose-chase around London's South Bank (with occasional stopped for food and drink). We loved it. Strongly recommended.