Anchors Away…

We flew to Malta yesterday. To start a 10-day  family Mediterranean cruise. Those who know me know how much I like cruises. Which is to say not at all. Zero. Less than zero in fact. I hate them. 

So why did I agree to come? Well, it’s Myrtle’s 90th birthday trip. So of course I had to come. And my brother Simon and sister Joanna are here too. So there’s that. Oh and my (fairy) godmother Carol and her daughter Vanessa are onboard. So maybe it won’t be that bad after all. Maybe. 

Shoulders back, chest out, big smile. 

Things didn’t start that well though. We sat on a foggy Gatwick tarmac for two hours in a cramped EasyJet non-recliner waiting for the Great British weather to allow us to take off. Foggy start. 

And just when we thought we’d got the all-clear to fly, some old boy at the back of the plane was taken ill and needed to be taken off the flight. I felt sorry for his wife. Everybody was staring at them as they stool in the aisle giving them evils while we waited for what seemed like hours for the jet bridge to be reattached.

EasyJet Saga-louts are a force of nature. Much akin to fireworks - it doesn’t take much to set them off but when they do, they tend burn bright before dropping like stones. 

Anyway, we were eventually on our way.  And after five hours of sitting in an uncomfortable 2A window seat we had landed, been whisked through the airport, onto our transfer bus and off to Valletta port. 

The Balmoral is small by comparison to other cruisers, but still pretty big.  1300 odd passengers.  600 odd crew.  Very odd. 

I’m sharing a room with my brother Simon, and to be honest, the room is pretty big. A nice balcony.  And lots of space to store our clothes.  

We met up with the others for some afternoon tea after unpacking before changing for dinner.  Food was really nice.  Basic wines included.  

After supper, we went to go and watch “the show”.  Let’s just say it was interesting.  More of that another time.  

The ship set sail about 10pm as it was cruising overnight. The sea was a little bit choppy so we were rolling around causing a few of the cabin’s internal furniture doors to fly open. They probably thought it was a really good idea to put internal lights in the cupboards. But when it’s pitch black and you are at sea and random cupboard doors fly open and the lights come on you do feel a bit like you’re in a ghost ship.  

Still, I slept ok. 

As we are at sea, there’s obviously no mobile data.  But they do have (rather pricey) Internet access on board. So all is not lost.

But sadly it won’t let me buy any Arsenal tickets as the Arsenal ticket hub is rejecting connections from the ocean! 🌊 It must think I’m a pirate! 🏴‍☠️🤣 Shiver m’Timber! 

Maybe it’ll be a good opportunity for a digital detox.  Let’s see.