The Triplets...

On Friday I went over to Ben and Sarah's to see the triplets. Now three and half they are all talking, walking, singing, playing and getting up to mischief. It was so lovely to catch up with everyone. We went to Dulwich Park for a picnic and a tough and tumble. The kids seemed to enjoy themselves (but probably not half as much as I did). I took some snaps as you can see below. And lots more here.

Spring Awakening...

Last night Stu treated me to dinner and a show. For dinner we went to Sway (great food and great service). For the show we went to the Novello Theatre in London's glitzy West End to see Spring Awakening, the musical based on Frank Wedekind's groundbreaking 1890s play exploring teenage sexual awakening.

It was fab. It retained it's period setting by way of the set, costumes and language whilst the songs were really quite contemporary. We touched on elements of angst, school pressure, parental pressure, lack of sex education, dating failure, suicide, child abuse, unwanted pregnancy, abortion - all the usual teenage things!

So it was Busted meets Oliver Twist. A sort of 19th Century musical version of Skins - set in Germany.

Ben Goldacre on London Tonight...

My hero Ben Goldacre doing a piece on London Tonight about MMR, Autism and Media Mendacity. Bad Science indeed. It's obviously video week here on OYH.

The Prisoner: A Sneak Preview...

The remake of The Prisoner by AMC will be shown in the States later this year and on ITV1 in early 2010. Here's a sneak preview.

[Thanks Paul]

HD Soft Porn...

With recent revelations about the Home Secretary's husband's Virgin Media viewing habits in the press it will no doubt drive some punters to investigate Virgin Media's cable offering in the belief that it harbours oddles of on demand porn. Sadly they are likely to be a tad disappointed. There's not much. Although much that there is is largely available in high definition (so you can really see that sweat rolling down those backs). In fact, it's an area that seems to be growing whereas other on demand HD content is shrinking. So more proof (if 'twere needed) that sex sells.

Bacon Goes Well With Anthing...

This is mean and unecessary. But also a little bit funny. Bacon on any site you care to mention.

Depeche Mode - Wrong...

Flowchart Of Heavy Metal...

Check out this rather wonderful flowchart of heavy metal band names.

It almost turns naming a heavy metal band name into a science. Almost.

Click for larger image.

Food at Fifteen...

My office is holding a company-wide luncheon in my honour today. Fifteen years working for this particular part of the organisation. Bless 'em. Apparently there's to be a presentation too. Let's hope there are no speeches (cringe).

UPDATE: The luncheon was really nice. The whole office turned up, there was a lovely buffet, I got a very nice speech from my boss and the MD, a signed service certificate, a name etched glass award and £550 of John Lewis vouchers. Result!

Abu Daiby...

Based on an in-depth, highly complex study, involving brain-aching statistical research here is a minute by minute scientific analysis.

Sample: Newcastle v Arsenal, 21st March 2009.

Results:

Minute 1 Sublime
Minute 2 Sublime
Minute 3 Ridiculous
Minute 4 Ridiculous
Minute 5 Sublime
Minute 6 Ridiculous
Minute 7 Sublime
Minute 8 Ridiculous
Minute 9 Ridiculous
Minute 10 Sublime
Minute 11 Ridiculous
Minute 12 Sublime
Minute 13 Ridiculous
Minute 14 Sublime
Minute 15 Ridiculous
Minute 16 Sublime
Minute 17 Ridiculous
Minute 18 Sublime
Minute 19 Sublime
Minute 20 Ridiculous
Minute 21 Ridiculous
Minute 22 Sublime
Minute 23 Ridiculous
Minute 24 Sublime
Minute 25 Ridiculous
Minute 26 Sublime
Minute 27 Ridiculous
Minute 28 Sublime
Minute 29 Ridiculous
Minute 30 Sublime
Minute 31 Ridiculous
Minute 32 Sublime
Minute 33 Ridiculous
Minute 34 Sublime
Minute 35 Ridiculous
Minute 36 Ridiculous
Minute 37 Sublime
Minute 38 Sublime
Minute 39 Sublime
Minute 40 Ridiculous
Minute 41 Ridiculous
Minute 42 Sublime
Minute 43 Ridiculous
Minute 44 Sublime
Minute 45 Ridiculous
Minute 46 Ridiculous
Minute 47 Sublime
Minute 48 Ridiculous
Minute 49 Sublime
Minute 50 Ridiculous
Minute 51 Sublime
Minute 52 Sublime
Minute 53 Ridiculous
Minute 54 Ridiculous
Minute 55 Sublime
Minute 56 Ridiculous
Minute 57 Sublime
Minute 58 Ridiculous
Minute 59 Sublime
Minute 60 Sublime
Minute 61 Ridiculous
Minute 62 Sublime
Minute 63 Sublime
Minute 64 Sublime
Minute 65 Sublime
Minute 66 Ridiculous
Minute 67 Ridiculous
Minute 68 Sublime
Minute 69 Ridiculous
Minute 70 Ridiculous
Minute 71 Sublime
Minute 72 Ridiculous
Minute 73 Ridiculous
Minute 74 Sublime
Minute 75 Ridiculous
Minute 76 Sublime
Minute 77 Ridiculous
Minute 78 Sublime
Minute 79 Ridiculous
Minute 80 Sublime
Minute 81 Ridiculous
Minute 82 Ridiculous
Minute 83 Sublime
Minute 84 Sublime
Minute 85 Sublime
Minute 86 Ridiculous
Minute 87 Sublime
Minute 88 Ridiculous
Minute 89 Ridiculous
Minute 90 Sublime

End of study.

Cuba: Pictures

 

Priscilla, Queen of the Desert...

On Friday night the gang and I went to see Priscilla, Queen of the Desert at the Palace Theatre in London's glitzy West End.

The show is billed as an Australian 'musical' based on the film The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert. I'd stay that this is only partly true - it's probably more of a drag show than a musical. But don't let that put you off. It's probably the best drag show I've ever seen - and I've seen a few.

The show's story follows that of the film fairly closely - three drag queens hop aboard a battered old bus (named Priscilla) and take their show to the middle of the Australian outback travelling from Sydney to Alice Springs (changing from Sydney to Alice, geddit?) They even end up on Ayes Rock in drag - "a frock with a cock on the rock" as they put it.

The three leads (Tony Sheldon, Jason Donovan and Oliver Thornton) give excellent performances as does the £1m scene-stealing bus, the 500 outrageous costumes (from the film’s Oscar-winning designers Tim Chappel and Lizzy Gardiner) and rest of the cast too.

The songs in the show are things like I Will Survive, Girls Just Wanna Have Fun, Shake Your Groove Thing, Don’t Leave Me This Way, Finally... you get the picture, hen night stuff. Although pretty much all of the songs are sung live, there is some lip-syncing (a la drag stylee). Thankfully this lip-syncing itself is done to someone else singing live though (if that makes sense).

The script is pretty spot on; witty, bitchy and at times heart-warming.

Best line: We two are off to have drinks, darling. So if you feel the urge to join us... fight it!

Go see.

Cuba: Cars...

 

BBC Complaints...

From: info@bbc.co.uk [mailto:info@bbc.co.uk]
Sent: 16 March 2009 13:05
Subject: BBC Complaints [T20090228010SS060]

Thank you for your e-mail call.

We're sorry if you feel the BBC has 'promoted' U2 unfairly recently. We take extreme care in making decisions about how we may feature popular artists in our output and in a manner that is editorially justifiable and also accessible to our audiences, especially when the timing coincides with the release of a new album, book or film.

In the case of our coverage of U2 we don't agree with the suggestion that the BBC allowed itself to be used as a commercial vehicle to promote their new album.

It's not uncommon for major artists to appear on different BBC shows and networks wherever it is editorially appropriate. Each appearance or feature on a programme will be judged on its own merits. U2 are one of the world's most popular bands who have a diverse fanbase and we reflected this in our content.
Whilst our audiences like to be kept informed about news in the arts and music world we are careful to ensure all appearances are editorially justified and do not give undue prominence to any product.

All the programmes featuring U2 had a clear editorial justification and had to adhere to the BBC editorial guidelines in relation to the need to avoid undue prominence.

Please be assured, however, that we have registered your comments on our audience log. This is the internal report of audience feedback which we compile daily for all programme makers and commissioning executives within the BBC, and also their senior management. It ensures that your points, and all other comments we receive, are circulated and considered across the BBC.

Once again, thank you for taking the time to contact us.

Regards

BBC Complaints
____________________________
www.bbc.co.uk/complaints

Cuba: Day Nine, Ten and Eleven...

[rant on]
Neither Stu nor I had every been to an all-inclusive resort before. And I don't think we'll be going back to one either. Now, don't get me wrong, Cuba is a lovely place to go for a holiday and Varadero is an ideal spot (22km of white beaches, crystal blue water and azure skies) for the sun-seeker. It's just the implementation of the resort we stayed at was pretty horrible. A decent hotel (Blau Varadero Hotel), great service (even if the staff were a little more tip-hungry than even we had been lead to believe) and fantastic location were all undermined by blaring music piped to the pool area and even to the farthest reaches of the beach. We suffered endless activities organised by ever cheerful activity organisers who misguidedly felt the constant need to make sure we were all "having fun". Argh! Leave us alone! We came here to have a quiet, restful time after staying in Havana. We just wanted to have some food and drink when available and not feel like we're in a Butlins holiday camp. This was such a shame as the place had so much going for it without the lily being so constantly and thoroughly gilded. We couldn't even read our books in peace; not without R&B at levels high enough to shake the sand upon which we were sitting. And don't get me started on the evening entertainment; pool-side ballet, anyone? Oh yeah, and now I come to think about it the buffet food... the coffee... the wine... the bed... all pretty awful. But we could have put up with all these minor niggles if we'd just not been herded around so much and not been given time to relax. If this is what a typical all-inclusive resort is I guess we're now both older and wiser. For us anyway it was both the first and the last resort. Next time, we'll be avoiding the tourist traps we fell into this holiday; and as Jean-Paul Sartre once said, "l'enfer, c'est les autres" (hell is other people).
[rant off]

Having said all of that we did manage to find some quiet corners during the three days in Varadero and steal a bit of time to ourselves. And when we did it was lovely. Once those ruddy speakers had been packed away we were able to walk along the beach, the sand in between our toes and kick through the beautiful warm water. We'd then find a tree to sit under and laze in the late afternoon sun sipping a cocktail and dreaming of nothing in particular. It was times like those that more than made up for the holiday camp madness.

Cuba: Day Eight...

We've had our full week in Havana doing the tourist points as per the Time Out guide and some of the local Cuban hangouts. We're now waiting for our transfer to our resort. So here are some of my musings.

Some of the Cuban places and bars we've been to have been fun; lots of heat, sweat, music and dancing. Some have been deserted. When we have come across locals they have, without exception, been very welcoming. Those Cubans who we have chatted too have not only been friendly but surprisingly well informed about many things - considering the lack of free-press here. When we told a couple of men we were talking to that the press in the UK could freely criticise a politician or official if they believed that they were doing a bad job they were frankly stunned. "That would never happen in Cuba" they said. We weren't quite sure whether they meant that the criticism would never happen in Cuba or whether their officials would never do a bad job. I suspect the former.

These guys were certainly aware of the credit crunch - chiefly because the main income source for Cuba by far is tourism and bookings have been way down this year. We were asked again and again whether our mortgages have been fore-closed.

Another common question was whether we had free health care in the UK and did the state help those who needed help. Many seemed genuinely surprised that the NHS was free at the point of delivery and that we had a social security system. They had thought that this was a uniquely Cuban thing. Their dental and glasses are all completely free though rather than just subsidised as ours are.

If any Cubans do earn money - which they are allowed to do - they must pay tax every month and again at the end of the year. They were cagey about how much this tax rate actually is but when we said how much tax we paid they were very sympathetic.

The impression I get about what's really going on in Cuba is rife duplicity (they all use the black market for TVs, internet access, goods, food) and the feeling that the place is at a tipping point. Cubans are all too aware that the infrastructure in Cuba is poor and they need to look for investment to raise their standard of living.

Almost with one voice they are talking about the China economy as their post-Fidel model.

Chillingly there is an estimated three million tourists a year waiting to Cuba here should the ban on direct American flights be lifted. That will transform this country. Whether this transformation is for the better or the worse is a matter of opinion.

Must dash, our bus is here.

Cuba: Day Seven...

As it was our last full day in Havana we did the last “must see” thing that we just had to do; the rum factory. Well, you come all the way to Cuba – you have to see how the rum is made, right?

Actually we did do a few other things first with our day – take a look round Plaza de Armas, try out an ATM (it worked fine) and have lunch in a Cuban/Italian fusion restaurant – but it was the rum we were really after.

Once we got to the factory we opted to do the tour. Too save you the trouble (and the 7 CUC) here’s the recipe; first squash your sugar cane to get juice => boil off excess water => leave to crystallize => centrifuge off the molasses => add yeast => ferment => distil => filter three times => age three to fifteen in white oak barrel => blend => bottle => pour => drink. At the end of the tour we naturally had ample opportunity to sample the rum too (hic).

Today we’re heading along the coast for three days to stay in an all-in resort so Internet access will probably be non-existed. So I'll be back at the end of the week.

Cuba: Day Six...

We had a bit of lie in as we passed the halfway mark of our Cuban adventure. I guess we’re relaxing into the Caribbean way of life.

For lunch we headed across the Parque de la Fraternidad in front of our hotel making our way for Chinatown. En route we took in the old steam engine graveyard stuffed full of rusting locomotives dating back to the 1800s. Sad to see them decaying away but also somehow a fitting death considering much of their decaying environs.
The Chinese/Cuban fusion lunch we had in the restaurant we eventually settled upon was lovely. I’m not 100% sure I could tell you what was actually in it but it was probably the tastiest meal we’ve had here to date. It was certainly the one with the best flavours.

To say that regular Cuban food is bland would be an insult to bland things the world over. There seems to be no history of cooking here, no traditional cuisine as there is on most other Caribbean islands. The staple diet here seems to be plain old fried chicken or pork accompanied by rice, refried beans and fried vegetables. And that’s just about it. What with the abundance of fruits and vegetables grown here I’m surprised that there are no more interesting signature dishes – and we’ve tied a lot of restaurants and spoken to a lot of locals about this. Most Cubans seem to share our opinion – and I hate to say this - they are just not that good at cooking.

After a bit of lounging by the pool and a (not very well earned) siesta we had another quick bite before jumping in a taxi for what was a very long trip to go to see the ‘must see’ show in Havana – Tropicana. Or so we’d been told. What can I say about Tropicana? We were utterly underwhelmed. It claims to have been running for seventy years – and it shows. Think faded feathers. Think dozens of dancing girls (Fidel’s babes?) Think non-stop mid-tempo mambo / salsa / rumba / cha-cha-cha music. Think awful tourist trap. Ugh!

Still, we knocked back the half bottle of rum included in the price (oh yes, and that crappy glass of wine too) so ended up clapping along with the rest of the crowd by the end. I don’t think we’ll be rushing back there again - certainly not at 80 CUC (£64) a head plus 5 CUC (£4) to be allowed to take photos. Ouch!

Cuba: Day Five...

We made an early start of it yesterday. Our destination was the much talked about Pinar del Río Province, one of the most rural and fertile areas of Cuba, and which contains the showpiece Valle de Viñales.

It took us a couple of hours to get there so we stopped off at a tobacco factory to take a look around. To call it a factory is perhaps rather misleading. It’s basically a sweatshop of thirty or so people sitting at desks rolling four tobacco leaves into a cigar shape and then covering it with a fifth silky leaf. It then gets squashed for twenty minutes, topped and tailed to size and put in a box ready for sale. Rather sweetly someone reads to the workers from newspapers and occasionally from the classics. Hence two of the cigar brands are called Romeo y Juliet and Monte Cristo.
Continuing on we saw fields upon fields of the main crops they grow in the area; sugar cane, various citrus fruits, coffee and the omnipresent tobacco.

Eventually we reached the Cordillera de Guaniguanico mountain range and the breath-taking Valle de Viñales. Its well deserved UNESCO Natural World Heritage Site status comes from the mogotes (tree-covered limestone knolls) that have been left standing proud in a wide flat river basin. The valley is flanked by limestone bedrock mountains that have been eroded by underground rivers producing huge caverns.
The largest cave we went to was Cueva de los Indios which was really quite spectacular. We downed a guarapo or two (sugar cane juice with rum) walked into the cave for about ten minutes and then took a boat ride on the underground river. Lovely.

After lunch we drove over to the Mural de la Prehistoria – a massive primary coloured mural covering an entire cliff face. To be frank it was rather tacky but, hey, Che Guevara apparently commissioned it so we duly took a few snaps.

It took a couple of hours to make it back into town but upon our arrival I was accosted by a beggar. We’d not seen any in Havana up until that point so I was a bit taken aback. He was deaf and very drunk and thrust a piece of paper with some writing on it at me. As I was reading it he obviously decided that it was too risky being seen talking to me and sped off up the road to find someone else to ask for money. Apparently the tourist police could have turned up at any point to arrest him for ‘daring’ to hassle a tourist and if they don’t get money within a few seconds they move on. To be honest I was a bit shaken by the whole thing. It all happened so fast and I felt as if I’d be asked to stand up and be counted but had missed the opportunity.

Stu and I went out for a bite to eat in the Old Town and chatted over our day together.

Cuba: Day Four...

We had a day off yesterday. We slept really late and then hopped upstairs to lounge by the pool and sunbathe. In the evening we popped down the road to a gay-friendly bar Castropol for a cocktail and then for cheap eats at Los Nardos just down from our hotel.

Cuba: Day Three...

Gosh, what a day we had. We certainly packed in a lot. We had decided to take the plunge and arranged for a tour guide for the day. Bang on time Lionel plus the silent one (our taxi driver) scooped us up from our hotel lobby and we dived into the back of the rust bucket that was to be our (seat beltless) chariot for the day.
First off the boys took us to Vedado (trans. ‘forbidden’) – a sort of green belt way back when - which is now a posh area crammed full of embassies. Row upon row of colonial houses, some renovated and some not, stand proudly declaring the opulence of Cuba’s past riches. Sugar cane must have sure brought in the money in its day. That and the gold held in Havana as the shiny stepping stone between Aztec and Spanish coffers.

We then sped up to Plaza de la Revolución to see Che’s famous photographic representation, some of the ministry buildings and the impressive Memorial José Martí.

Whizzing back into town we stopped at the Capitolio (think mini White House) and then took a pony and trap ride to the old town passing by Chinatown and stopping at Plaza de San Francisco. We then set off on an architectural tour on foot taking in many of the famous bars, shops and converted restaurants (pick a style; Spanish, Arabian...). Particular places of note were Café del Oriente, La Bodeguita del Medio and Farmacia Taquechel. We ended up in Plaza de la Catedral before jumping back in our taxi and zooming off under Havana’s tunnel to the Eastern Bay. We then hugged the coast until we reached Ernest Hemmingway’s renovated farm house. It’s a rather marvellous set of buildings high up on a hill with a fabulous view back towards Havana 15 miles in the distance. We ‘did’ the tour which was actually rather charming before careering back to Havana. Stopping just this side of the tunnel we stopped for freshly crushed sugar cane juice (guess who turned the crusher wheel?). Naturally we added a bit of lemonade, a dash or three of rum and some fresh mint to make it look more like a mojito. Well, you would, wouldn’t you?

Refreshed we then toured Castillo de los Tres Reyes del Morro and mounted the 1844 lighthouse which offer sublime views back across the bay.
The tour wasn’t over yet though. Next we were treated to a four course lunch (complete with daiquiri) at El Floridita.

Needless to say after all this running about and after thanking our guides we headed for our hotel for a siesta.

Showered and rested by 8pm we were up at Hotel Nacional de Cuba to see the Buena Vista Social Club perform at the Salón 1930. To say that we were disappointed would be putting it mildly. We had to sit through what felt like Cuba’s Got Talent before just a solitary member of BVSC pitched up to play a couple of numbers with the house band. What a swizz. So we just downed a few more Bucaneero beers (5.4% proof thank you very much) and ended up giggling at the under-rehearsed show-girls with their faded feathers. As we got our taxi back into town we couldn’t decide whether the show was ‘sexy’ or just ‘sexist’. Thinking about it now, it’s probably the latter.

So after a long lie in. I’m sitting by the infinity pool on the roof of our hotel, mojito in hand tapping away on my netbook. It's a tough life, eh? Hasta mañana.

Cuba: Day Two...

We pitched up at the Virgin rep's meeting first thing yesterday morning to see what she had to say and whether she had any interesting exclusions on her books that perhaps we couldn't do better (and cheaper) under our own steam. We ended up booking a few things (more of that later in the week) that seemed like good deals but resolved to do most of the exploring yourselves - on foot. This turned out to be a good idea in that we got to see some places that I suspect a guide would not have taken us. Not that I dislike tour guides per se as they generally know their stuff, it's just I like to get my bearings in the place first. As it turned out our meanderings around Havana old town took us to some tourist traps ("Have your picture taken with the lovely lady, mister", some nice museums (Fidal Castro can do no wrong, apparently) and some back streets where real Cubans live (these were real eye openers and depressingly squalid).

For lunch we found a nice restaurant down by the sea. We had a basic but perfectly decent meal and a couple of mojitos while a Cuban quartet played suitably lively mambo and salsa tunes for us. As I looked across the table at Stu I knew that at this point the holiday had really started for me.

On the way back to our hotel for a siesta we poked around a few more dusty squares, one or two of the shops selling the usual touristy tat and dropped by the chocolate museum to take a look around and sample their wares. My, the chocolate was delicious.

Our siesta turned into a full blown sleep and we ended up sleeping right through until the next morning. We must have needed the rest. And we'll need it as today we have a pretty full itinerary ahead of us so I'd better go jump in the shower.

Cuba: Day One...

So here we are in Havana. The sun is just rising and our room, whioh is on the seventh floor, overlooks most of the city. It's a beautiful way to wake up in our first day in Cuba.

We'd had a early start yesterday - our taxi collected us at 5:30am. "Ah, you're going to Cuba!" said our driver, once he'd established our destination. "Lot's of pretty girls!" "Actually we're going for the music, the sites... the heritage", I said. "Yes" he insisted, "but the GIRLS!" Hmmm.

Gatwick was pleasantly empty (tip: avoid half-term and school holidays for the less crowded, hassle-free airport experience). As we we'd booked through Virgin Holidays we had the honour of using the VROOM (their club lounge.) My, it was a different experience to the BA club lounge. It was clean, friendly, had hot and cold food, looked really cool and was a pleasure to be in. It certainly relaxed me before my flight.

The flight was to last a none too brief 9h 4 mins and turned out to be fully booked - mainly with retried couples and the odd youngster (like ourselves). Take-off was on time and the flight was actually quite smooth. This was perhaps in no small part to the two industrial strength sedatives I took shortly before started taxiing down the runway.

The in-flight entertainment system was as expected; Slumdog Millionaire, Quantum Of Solace, Little Britain USA... On the audio stream they were playing, amongst other things, Lily Allen's "It's Not Me, It's You". They edited out the track "The Fear" due to the swear words in it but strangely not the track "Fuck You". Ha!

Landing in Havana was a breeze too. The scare stories we'd heard about immigration and customs turned out to be untrue. We pretty much sailed through. The carriage carousel took some working out but then what do you expect when these guys work 20 hours a day and get the standard 30 CUCs (about 24 quid) - a month!

The transfer bus was waiting and we drove through the countryside towards Havana city passing horse-drawn carts, brightly coloured 1950s American cars and strangely brutal modern architecture. We passed a particularly run-down building in desperate need of a lick of paint. "That's our teacher training centre," said our guide. "We produce all our Cuban teachers there."

Approaching Havana old town, where our hotel is, we were struck by how run-down *everything* looked. The buildings all looked pretty grand but the plaster is falling off, the windows are dirty or broken and the frames rotten. The paint is peeling off the outside and things look neglected.

Our hotel however was magnificent. We have a lovely room (all mod-cons including Internet access, satellite TV, DVD player), a commanding view and room service.

After checking-in we headed for the terrace on the top of the hotel where the swimming pool is to have our first mojito and some supper. It was simply delightful.

We had a good night's sleep last night and are now preparing to face our first day exploring this wonderful city.

Cuba...

Stu and I are off to Cuba first thing tomorrow morning. We've got a suite booked at the Saratoga Hotel in Havana for a week and then we're moving along the coast to the Blau Varadero Hotel for a few days pampering.

We've starting packing already and on the advice of friends who have been before are taking quite a lot of extra stuff to give away; everything from clothes to shoes, toothpaste to aftershave. Everyone tells us it's the thing to do as apparently the locals just can't buy things out there. Perhaps more importantly though we're also taking extra cash. I'm a bit of a serial tipper anyway but I think if you get good service you should tip - especially in countries that have low wages.

Anyway, we're all set. And getting very excited. Not least because we'll have two weeks away from all the bad news back home! Just so we don't feel too much out of touch though next Friday we're planning our very own 'red nose' day - we'll be overdoing it in the sun and drinking way too many Mojitos! (fnah.)

We're told that the mobile phone and internet connections are way too expensive/hard to access in Cuba and so I'm probably going to have a ten days without phone calls, texts, emails, web, Facebook, Twitter or blogging. How will I cope?!

And below is a little something that has been spinning round in my head. Thanks to Darren for finding the link.

Samsung NC10...

I bought myself a new toy a couple of weeks ago. It's a Samsung NC10 netbook. Sure, it's an inferior laptop compared to the larger cousins but it was fairly cheap, is quite quick and is pleasantly diddy. It also seems to be recommended as the best all rounder in it's class. Even this week's Time Out says it's the one to buy(!)

The battery life is excellent (more than 7 hours between charges) and it happily runs Windows 7 beta and sits on my knee while I'm watching TV just fine. I may yet put Ubuntu on it soon if I'm feeling adventurous.

Fascinating Aida...

Last night Paul treated me to a night out in Stevenage's glitzy Gordon Craig Theatre to see the rather wonderful Fascinating Aida in concert.

Paul and I have been fans of FA for over twenty years and the girls haven't lost any of their charm. It was a riotous evening from the queens of topical satire, cabaret and musicality mirth. Their songs are at times witty, coarse and thought provoking; B celebrities, the nanny state, political hypocrisy and sex are favourite topics. Long may their reign. Here are some more snaps I took that evening.

Best new song: The Markets (a Gilbert and Sullivanesque romp through derivatives, hedge funds and arbitrage.)

Here is one of their songs as performed at Edinburgh last year.

Shoe-rage...

Grief's a funny old thing. My shoe was really hurting on the way home from work tonight and so I took it off and threw it across the street. I had to hobble home in a sock. The shoe-rage was I'm sure related to the news that my uncle died earlier today. When I heard the sad news about my uncle it didn't make me cry at first. But losing the shoe did. Transference I guess.

Disney Reject...

"

Women do not do any of the creative work in connection with preparing the cartoons for the screen, as that work is performed entirely by young men. For this reason girls are not considered for the training school."

How mean. Although when you look near the signature at the bottom of the rejection letter from Walt Disney Productions 'mean' doesn't even begin to cover it!

Your Starter For Ten...

The BBC has disqualified the winners of University Challenge for breaking the rules by using a contestant who was no longer a student. Tsk, tsk. I do love that programme though. Maybe this will increase the audience next time round and help secure it's commission for the future.

Tilt-shifting...

Fancy doing a bit of tilt-shifting? Tilt-shifting is a simple modification of a photo to make the person in it look like a 'model' with a bit of blurring and ramping up the saturation. The trick is to either use a special camera, some paid-for photo-editing software or (even more simply) this handy, miniature free online tool called tiltshiftmaker.

The effect is subtle but affective. The one of the left is the BEFORE. The one on the right is the AFTER.

Arsenal 0-0 Fulham...

Paul and I went to the Grove on Saturday. What a dire performance we put up against Fulham? Our hopes of qualifying for the Champions League were dealt another severe blow with our fifth successive league draw.

BBC Loves U2...

Can the BBC licence payer be expecting to share in some of the profits from U2's new LP? What with all this free, blanket, uncritical promotion they are receiving across all the BBC brands this last week; BBC1, BBC2, Radio 1, Radio 2, BBC News, news.bbc.co.uk etc. I do like U2 - or I did! The supersaturation by the BBC is making me review that.

I love the BBC - or more accurately, I love many of the programs they make. It's just that some of the current custodians of that wonderful organisation seem to like shooting themselves in the foot.

This isn't an issue of self-censorship or running scared of the The Daily Mail. It's just plainly a wrong call. How can wall-to-wall U2 promotion on a public service broadcaster such as the BBC not be seen as advertising?

Mayflower…

On Sunday Andy and Kev came round to see Stu’s place and we headed off to the Mayflower pub on the Thames for a spot of posh Sunday lunch. The food was excellent, the wine flowed and we swapped stories, picked the boys’ brains about Cuba and general had a good old chin wag. Not wanting the afternoon to end we moved up river a bit to the Angel pub when we settled in for the rest of the afternoon and what turned out to be most of the night. Great views, great company and some filthy stories. A lovely day out. More snaps here.

Jonny’s 40th…

Last Saturday Stu, Jo and I headed to Shepherd’s Bush to help Jonny celebrate his fortieth birthday. We had a rare old time – me being introduced to some of Stu's work colleagues and many of Jonny’s friends. This is one of the snaps I took and here are some others.

Plague Over England…

Last Friday Stu and I ventured to the Duchess Theatre in London’s glitzy West End to see Plague Over England. Written by Evening Standard theatre critic Nicholas de Jongh, it tells the story of Sir John Gielgud’s arrest for importuning for immoral purposes (cottaging) back in 1953. Facing personal and professional ruin after the story is splashed across the national press the story wittily recounted by de Jongh explores the court case, the theatre-going public’s reaction, the institutional homophobia of the time, the occasional self-loathing of mid-century homosexuals and ultimately how Gay Lib affected the lives of all homosexuals twenty years later in 1973. It’s funny, sexy and well worth seeing. 4 stars.

Arsenal 1-0 Roma...

Paul and I watched a frustrating night of football at the Grove last night but also a rewarding one. We missed many, many chances - too many really, especially in the second half. But the result, coming from Robin van Persie's penalty in the first half, seemed appropriate. This was the first leg of our Champions League battle with Roma. Stadio Olimpico here we come.

No Injection Necessary...

I am now the owner of one matt white filling. I'm really happy it's all over. But I have to say, it wasn't such a big deal. I had butterflies in my stomach on the way to the dentist and was really very nervous sitting in the waiting room. But once I got in to the dentist's chair it was fine. She put my mind at rest and gave me the option of an injection to kill the pain or not. I decided against that. I didn't really want to have a numb mouth for three hours and I don't mind a little pain. So it was just me, the dentist and the drill. I watched her write NIN in my notes. "No Injection Necessary".

The dentist did say that if I started to feel any pain during the drilling I should raise my hand. I joked, "what? raise my hand as a fist and punch you in the face?" I laughed. She laughed. But not as convincingly as I did.

Five minutes later it was all over. I'd been drilled out, stuffed with some white stuff and had ultraviolet shone in my gob to make it harden. It took a few more sessions to file the filling down to the correct level though. But fifteen minutes after walking into the dentist's surgery I was walking out again. Job done.

And you know what? I might even go back for another check-up in six months. Heavens. That'd be *two* check-ups in thirty-one years. My mother will be pleased.

Now Spit!...

I'm doing something later today that I've never done before. Or to be more accurate I'm having something done to me that I've never had done to me before. I'm having my first filling. Yes, after forty-seven years I'm going under the dentist's drill. I really don't know what to expect either when I get there. People have such horror stories of going to dentists. But not me. I've been so rarely - only once in thirty-one years - I don't really have any deep rooted (fnah!) fears to draw on. I'm not exactly expecting fluffy pink cushions and a warm head rub but do you think it'll be like Steve Martin's sadistic dentist Orin Scrivello in Little Shop Of Horrors? I shall find out later this afternoon.

Arsenal 0-0 Sunderland...

What a crap match it was on Saturday. Sure it was great to witness Andrey Arshavin's debut - and don't get me wrong, he looks like a real star - but the game was frustrating in the extreme. We just couldn't score. The hopes of a Champions League place are fading fast.

Your Disco Needs Hula Hoops...

At Duckie on Saturday night was a fantastically camp hula hoop act. Here are the last few moments to give you a flavour.

Pet Shop Boys at The Brits...

So it's congratulations to the Pet Shop Boys for their well deserved Outstanding Contribution To Music Award at The Brits. They played a 'Pet Shop Boys on 45' mix of Suburbia, Love etc., Left To My Own Devices, Always On My Mind, Go West, What Have I done To Deserve This? (with Lady Ga Ga), Domino Dancing, I'm With Stupid, Being Boring, It's A Sin (with Brendan Flowers), All Over The World and finally West End Girls (Lady Ga Ga and Brendon Flowers). Well done Boys.

And they are on tour (pre-sale here)!

When A Bird Breaks A Blade In A Jet Engine...

One of the many reasons I don't like flying; start jet engine, insert dead bird and stand well back.

Arsenal 4-0 Cardiff...

It was a rough night at the Grove last night for our FA Cup fourth-round replay. Not the football, mind you. That was fine. On the pitch Eduardo scored a couple just under a year since breaking his leg and Bendter and van Persie made the total four. So it was a convincing win against a rather crap Cardiff City.

No, the roughness was outside the ground. I counted eight police vans, six snarling police dogs with handlers, a circling helicopter and wave after wave of riot police. And that was just on my particular route away from the ground. Goodness only knows how many there were in all the other directions.

Duckie @ Bexhill On Sea...

Last Friday Simon, Paul, Stuart and I went down to stay with Charlie in St Leonards on the south coast. Charlie had organised tickets for us to go to Duckie's 13th birthday bash at the De La Warr Building at Bexhill On Sea and was letting us stay. Charlie was a brilliant host - so much so that Stuart and I stayed on until the Sunday.

Duckie was great fun; six hours of Amy Lame, Miss High Kick, a fire eater, a local opera singer, dancers, a hula hooping sailor, the Readers Wives spinning the tunes and much else besides - all the usual nonsense that we know and love.

Below are some of the snaps I took from the weekend. You can see many more by clicking here.

Spotify...

I love Spotify. It doesn't have the biggest range of music ever but it's still quite big. And it's free if you don't mind an advert every 30 mins or so. The sound quality is pretty good and it's very responsive. Faster than playing a locally stored track on iTunes I'd say. Great if you want to listen to that one track without actually buying it. Kind of like our own radio on last.fm.

Microsoft Tag...

So this is mobile tagging with Microsoft Tag. You take a picture with your iPhone say. It decodes the symbols and takes you to a URL. This tag take you to this site.

Here's the blurb: Microsoft Tag creates unlimited possibilities for making interactive communications an instant, entertaining part of life. They tranform physical media (print advertising, billboards,product packages, information signs, in-store merchandising, or even video images)—into live links for accessing information and entertainment online. With the Microsoft Tag application, just aim your camera phone at a Tag and instantly access mobile content, videos, music, contact information, maps, social networks, promotions, and more. Nothing to type, no browsers to launch!

Get it at http://gettag.mobi/.

Entertaining Mr Sloane...

Last night Stuart and I went to see Entertaining Mr Sloane at the Trafalgar Studios in London's glitzy Whitehall.

It starred Imelda Staunton as the sex starved sister Kath, Simon Paisley Day as the gay brother and Mathew Horne as the eponymous bisexual anti-hero Mr Sloane.

Originally staged way back in 1964, Joe Orton’s wickedly biting comedy sparked controversy at the time with its mischievous peep at the hypocrisy behind the new permissive society of the 1960’s and the British fascination with sex. And it hasn't lost any of it's comic value. We laughed like drains.

Horne was a tad miscast although the savagely sexual Staunton and 'liberal' Day were excellent.

Best line: "It's what is called a dilemma, boy", Ed explains, "and you are on the horns of it."

Code...

 

To keep anonymous happy...

1. New PSB single "Love etc." is 'quite good' to quote a Popjustice phrase.
2. New Torchwood trailer less good.
3. Girls Aloud song is tepid at best.

Star Trek Communicator...

Trekkies, to the bridge! Gadgeteers Dream Cheeky have come up with a VoIP/Skype speakerphone that looks exactly like a Star Trek Communicator.

It uses Bluetooth and will be launched to coincide with the arrival of the new movie.

I want one!

Tottenham 0-0 Arsenal...

He had has to go.

Stephen Hawking...

He was one of my tutors at university. And now true fame at last: being immortalised in Lego.

Just Can't Get Enough...

British-Irish girl group The Saturdays will be releasing a cover of Just Can't Get Enough (the Depeche Mode song written by Vince Clarke) as their fourth single. It will be the official single for Comic Relief 2009, with the proceeds being donated to the charity.

Sunset Boulevard...

Last night Stu and I went to see the Watermill Theatre's diminuitive production of Sunset Boulevard at the Comedy Theatre in London glitzy West End. Sunset Boulevard is a musical with book and lyrics by Don Black and Christopher Hampton and music by Andrew Lloyd Webber. Based on the 1950 Sunset Boulevard film, the plot revolves around Norma Desmond, a faded star of the silent screen era, living in the past in her decaying mansion on the fabled Los Angeles street. When young screenwriter Joe Gillis accidentally crosses her path, she sees in him an opportunity to make her comeback to the big screen. Romance and tragedy follow. The production uses a brilliant cast who simutaneously act, play musical instruments, sing and dance. An amazing feat which is carried off with much skill. The Olivier Award nods are well deserved. Last night Norma was played by Kathryn Evans (wife of Doctor Who and Blue Peter's Peter Purvis) and she was a revelation. Dramatic, musical and with the grace of a ballerina she pretty much stole every scene she was in. If you get a chance, go see.

Charles Darwin and the Tree of Life...

And on the eighth day, God created Charles Darwin, and behold, he was good. And God said, go forth Charles, be fruitful and multiply, and study the beasts of the earth and the fish of the sea and the fowl of the air. So Charles went forth, was fruitful and multiplied. And he studied the fish of the sea and the fowl of the air and every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth. And then, when his work was done, he returned to his creator ... and only went and killed him. Patricide, I believe it's called.
[Sam Wollaston : Last Night's TV: The Guardian]

Andrei Arshavin...

Andrei Arshavin, or Arse Shovin' as no doubt he will be nicknamed, has finally joined the Gunners.

He'll be sporting the old 23 shirt previously worn by Sol Campbell. Good luck, mate-ski.

We have high expectations of you.

I wonder if Wenger will play you against the Spuds on Sunday or whether he'll wait until Cardiff on Monday week...

Dame Edna Experience...

 

Snow...

 

Arsenal 0-0 West Ham...

Paul and I froze our nuts off at The Grove on Saturday afternoon. It was a dire performance. Our boys had most of the possession but in the end couldn't make it count. So our Champions League hopes suffered yet another dent.

Can You Pass The 11+?...

Try answering questions from a 1976 paper aimed at 11-year-olds. You have ten minutes to answer fifteen questions. I got all of them right but with just 90 secs to spare!

Microsoft's Songsmith...

Arggggh!!!! Kill me! Cut my ears off! Poke my eyes out! Microsoft's Songsmith has arrived. "Songsmith generates musical accompaniment to match a singer’s voice. Just choose a musical style, sing into your PC’s microphone, and Songsmith will create backing music for you."

See the car crash that is the Microsoft Songsmith Commercial here!

Yes, you too can murder the classics! Marvel at Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band by The Beatles! Roxanne by The Police! Wonderwall by Oasis!

And more here.

Grace Jones...

Last night Darren, Mark, Stu and I went to see the star that is Grace Jones burn brightly at the Roundhouse in London's salubrious Chalk Farm. She was magnificent.

The usual twenty-five minutes late, she descended to the stage on a large extensible platform. Bathed in a deep shade of blue the audience gave her a rapturous reception. She then belted out Nightclubbing and the place went wild.

Over the next hour and forty minutes she plundered her back catalog, her new album Hurricane (oddly with the exception of Corporate Cannibal) and our hearts. Every song welcomed a change of lighting, a change of costume and a change of Philip Treacy. It was a bit like a West End show where, "tonight the role of the diva will be played by Miss Grace Jones."

She was exceptionally well behaved too. No tantrums. Although towards the end she was perhaps tiring a bit and rather muddled the words to La Vie En Rose. Still we can forgive here that. She was a star the whole night through. A brilliant star. A brilliant show.

Best bit: The encore. She sang the title track of her new album Hurricane across the stage into a hurricane fan with full-on special effects, lighting, debris and flowing costume blown horizontal by the wind. Marvellous.

Help Desk...

 

In My Day...

My gran said to me, "Young men of today just aren't as polite and charming as they were when I was young".

I had to explain, "That's because they aren't trying to fuck you now, gran."

Three figures in white dresses comb back their long hair, revealing their faces. It is like watching curtains slowly part on lives that have been hidden away from view.

Last night Andrew organised tickets for Tim, Stuart and me to go and see The Idiot Colony at the ICA in London's wet and rainy West End.

The Idiot Colony is a damning indictment of the system which branded hundreds of women in the 1940s and 1950s 'moral defectives' for grievous crimes like homosexuality or having a baby as a result of childhood rape. These women were locked away in institutions on the say so of a single relative and the signature of two GPs.

Set in the hospital's hairdressing salon in the 1980s The Idiot Colony tells three such stories through flashback. The three women are now much older and in between listening to Rick Astley and the Birdie Song they remember the terrible events that caused them to be incarcerated. It is at times moving, at times funny but ultimately the horror comes from the mundanity.

Great show.

Colonel Mustard...

I have a confession to make. I love condiments. Mustard in particular. My eyes start to water... my palate stings.. my nasal passages become inflamed...

In my fridge I currently have twenty or so different bottles, tubs and jars of the stuff. Not only do I like mustard as a condiment to have with meat, vegetables or in sandwiches but also as an ingredient in cooking. Mustard roast, mustard mash and mustard salad dressing are all favourites.

I've loved every mustard I've come across so far in fact; Dijon mustard, English mustard, wholegrain mustard, honey mustard, French mustard, American mustard, hundred's of favoured mustards, horseradish mustard, beer mustard... The list goes on.

My favourite mustard though is an eleven spice French vinegar mustard known as Savora. I have been known to travel back from France with a dozen jars of the stuff. Luckily they sell it in Sainsbury's now (albeit under the Colemans brand and at greatly inflated prices). Amazon.com have started to sell it. I wonder if amazon.co.uk will follow suit?

When we went to Nice a few years back I had the cheek to take some Savora to a restaurant. Another diner saw me put some on my plate and asked if she could have some too. Before we knew where we were half a dozen tables had used it - much to the restaurant owner's dismay. Spread the love, that's what I say.

Dream Casserole...

A short ninety second clip of a dream casserole nightmare. I have nightmares like this too. Fab. (better with sound and it is work safe).

Sign Your Name...

I studied British Sign Language for a couple of years back in the early 1990s and still can hold a half decent conversation with various deaf or partially hearing friends. As some of you may know, if you're around deaf people a fair amount you will get a sign language nickname - it's a necessity to avoid spelling your name out every time you're mentioned. Thing is, you don't get to choose your own sign name. And boy did we know some funny ones; "Big nose", "Neil/Knee" "Dutch", "Bouncer", "Hearing Aid", "Squinty", "Old". Some seemed generic but we all knew who we were referring to. Sign names don't have to be unique just like "Dave" or "Steve" aren't.

Mine is a sort of "grin while shaking your crocked thumb and index finger tips in front of your teeth". Roughly translated it means "ha ha" or "grins a lot".

My nickname at school was also "grinner". Or to be more exact "grinner minimus" as my older brother was at the same school and he was a "grinner" too.

Funny how names stick.

Milk...

Stu and I saw Milk on Saturday. Sean Penn was excellent. It didn't really tell us much more than we knew already from documentary films like The Times Of Harvey Milk but it was so good to see the real events portrayed as a drama. All the key scenes have been recreated but the story has been made more vivid, sadder even and ultimately more inspiring. Milk was an imperfect man, sure, but then aren't all good leaders? They need that spark of ambition, that desire to do good and the clearness of sight to see an injustice.

Milk was a very sexual man in real life of course. And that being the 1970s there was lots of it around. I sometimes wonder how much that influenced his political drive. He really only came out of himself sexually when he turned forty, moved to San Francisco and grew his hair. With this new liberty came the discovery of his political side. This made him realise what the emerging gay community had to offer the out gay man and the economic power it could wield to protect itself. A politician was born. The first and perhaps best proof that a gay man could be himself and succeed. Albeit on the 4th time of trying!

Go see.

Windows 7...

For 'fun' I downloaded and installed Microsoft's much trumpeted Windows 7 beta last week. I installed it on a home PC and also (rather rashly according to my colleagues) on my work PC too. I find Vista a pain in the arse and this was a bit of a last ditch attempt with Micky Mouse Windows before deciding if I should move back to Windows XP or indeed persevere with my recent flirting with Linux.

And do you know what? I was pleasantly surprised. On my home PC Windows 7 is faster than Vista. It seems to do everything I'd want of it and those annoying UCE pop-ups seem to be all but banished.

On my work PC the upgrade was also painless and most things seem way snappier. My performance Index is 5.9 rather than 5.0 and the only slight gripe I have with it is that I have to run anti-virus software AVG (as I do at home) rather than the corporate imperative McAfee but no doubt that will get resolved soon.

So first impressions are good. It's so the operating system Vista should have been.

Pilot hailed for 'Hudson miracle'...

The pilot of an airliner that ditched in New York's Hudson River has been hailed a hero after all 155 passengers and crew were rescued. And you know what? It doesn't make me feel any safer about flying.

F***king Men...

Last night Stu, Mark, Hudd and I went to the Kings Head Theatre in vibrant Upper Street to see a new gay play called F***king Men. Actually I think it was called Fucking Men but the posters were being a little coy.

It was an American story introducing us to the (sex)lives of ten gay men who were all related to each other by sex. A met B, B met C, C met D... ... I met J and J met A to complete the circle. We had a rent boy, a soldier, a teacher, a student, two guys in a relationship (one of whom was a banker), a porn star, a playwright, a movie star and a TV interviewer.

The play was sexy, mildly insightful, risque but never coarse. Oh, and very funny. The mainly gay audience seemed to find themselves reflected up on the stage in numerous scenes.

Best bit: the plainly autobiographical playwright talking about his own gay play.

Nice to go see a gay play which a) is funny, and b) the characters weren't punished for having sex.

Silent Fart...

An old lady turns to her husband at party. "Oh dear", she says, "I seem to have let out a silent fart. What should I do?"

Her husband replies, "Get a new battery for your hearing aid".

The chalice from the palace has the brew that is true...

We watched The Court Jester (1956) on telly the other day. I'd forgotten just how funny it is.

Hubert Hawkins - "I don't want the vessel with the pestle, I want the chalice from the... what?"'
Maid Jean - "The chalice from the palace."
Griselda - "Its a little crystal chalice with a figure of a palace."
Hawkins - "Does the chalice from the palace have the pellet with the poison?"
Griselda - "No, the pellet with the poison is in the vessel with the pestle."
Hawkins - "The pestle with the vessel?"
Jean - "The vessel with the pestle."
Hawkins - "What about the palace from the chalice?"
Griselda - "Not the palace from the chalice, the chalice from the palace!"
Hawkins - "Where's the pellet with the poison?"
Griselda - "In the vessel with the pestle!"
Jean - "Don't you see? The pellet with the poison is in the vessel with the pestle, the chalice from the palace has the brew that is true. It's so easy, I can say it!"
Hawkins - "Well, then you fight him!"

I Love Lloyds TSB...

I love Lloyds TSB. Why (you may ask)? Aren't they one of those slimy banks that we now all own part of? And of course you'd be right. But what have they done to make me break out in this unusual rash of good will towards them?

Well, not only have they yet again cut my mortgage interest payments following the latest Bank Of England interest rate 0.5% cut but I just had a great chat with their insurance people. The reason for my call was that my annual home contents and buildings insurance is up for renewal this month and I needed to let them now that I how have an extra bedroom and bathroom to insure; my new loft conversion. So I was expecting a big jump in my premium. Instead they said that they'd keep it at the same amount as last year. Something about "no increase in square footage" and "maintaining it's multiple use". Fab.

Arsenal 1-0 Bolton...

It was truely freezing at the Emirates yesterday afternoon when our boys took on the increasingly dire Trotters. A fairly hum-drum performance from us wasn't helped by their deep defending. Still, Bendtner did manage to slot one in so we got our much needed three points. Let's hope Europe doesn't drift beyond our reach.

Brian Gittins: Roadside Cafe Owner...

Ben came over last night and we went out for a beer, a bite to eat and to see some stand-up comedy; Brian Gittins: Roadside Cafe Owner at the Hen and Chickens

Here's the spiel: "My name's Brian Dennis Gittins and I run a roadside cafe near Pyecombe. I've been winging it on the circuit for a year or so now, since some of the cafe regulars said I was "quite funny". Anyway, I've done some gigs with Ricky Gervais recently so I can deal with up to one thousand heckles per night. And if it all goes tits up, my mate Angelos Eppethemiu (who does my gutters) will do some magic for ya."

Also on the bill was Tim Key - a comic poet with a nice line in acerbic wit.

Very funny.

Edward Scissorhands...

Last night Stu and I went to see Matthew Bourne's Edward Scissorhands at the Sadler's Wells in downtown Islington.

The story tells of a man named Edward, an unfinished creation, who has scissors for hands. Edward is taken in by a suburban family and falls in love with their teenage daughter.

We'd seen Bourne's The Car Man, Swan Lake and most recently Dorian Gray and were mightily impressed so our expectations were pretty high.

Sadly things weren't quite as good as we'd hoped. It told the story well enough. And what a sweet story it is? Sure, it looked good, especially the set design. And 'lovely lighting' as Andy would say. But there just wasn't enough dancing in it. A fundamental requirement of a dance production I'd say.

Now this was partly due to the fact that Bourne's production stuck so doggedly to the Edward Scissorhands film plot (fair enough). But having a lead whose hands are quite literally scissors inevitably means you can't really hold hands (or indeed even use your hands to do lifts) in any of the romantic dancing duo sequences. At one point, out of frustration I imagine, Bourne actually sidesteps this issue completely and has a dream sequence where Edward doesn't have scissor hands at all but has real hands so he can present us with a more creative dance (with proper lifts).

Having said all that, we did enjoy it. The cast were full of energy and the performances were at times both touching and comic.

The best part of the production? The dancing topiary in the afore mentioned dream sequence.

Apple Introduces Revolutionary New Laptop With No Keyboard...

[Thanks Mark]

Let's Prog!...

Way back in the late 1960s/early 1970s when I was not much older than a nipper I started to listen to my brother and sister's records (not being able to afford many of my own). So from an early age I was heavily influenced by a type of music that was frankly beyond my years; progressive rock. Prog rock (as it was known) became wildly successful throughout the early 1970s and throughout that time was my 'dirty little secret' while I was listening to ABBA and disco. Sadly prog had a rapid decline when punk rock came along in 1976/77.

Over the past week or so BBC Four has been broadcasting a number of programmes about prog rock which have brought back many fond memories from my childhood and teenage years. Last night's live recording of Tubular Bells all but brought me to tears.

For a bit of fun I thought I'd list some of my favourite prog rock tracks/albums (in no particular order);

The Nice - America
The Moody Blues - Question
Jethro Tull - Witches Promise
Wishbone Ash - Vas Dis
Yes - Yours Is No Disgrace / Close To The Edge
Emerson, Lake and Palmer - Picture At An Exhibition / Fanfare For The Common Man
The Crazy World Of Arthur Brown - Fire
Camel - Moonmadness
Caravan - The Dog, The Dog He's At It Aagin
Soft Machine - Fanfare All White
Procol Harum - A Whiter Shade Of Pale
King Crimson - Cat Food
The Who - anything from Tommy
The Byrds - Eight Miles High
Pink Floyd - Piper At The Gates Of Dawn / Interstellar Overdrive / Saucer Full Of Secrets
Atomic Rooster - Tomorrow Night
Deep Purple - Hush / Smoke On The Water
Traffic - The Low Spark Of The High Heeled Boys
Family - In My Own Time
Genesis - I Know What I Like / Selling England By The Pound / Lamb Lies Down On Broadway
Egg - Bulb
Gong - Flying Teapot
Supertramp - Rudy / School
Tangerine Dream - Sorcerer
Queen - Seven Seas Of Rhye
Mike Oldfield - Tubular Bells
ELO - Mr Blue Sky
Rush - The Spirit Of Radio
Focus - Hocus Pocus / Sylvia

Ah, memories.

An Exclusive Chat With Matt Smith...

The BBC Doctor Who web site has an 'exclusive' chat with Matt Smith - the new Doctor Who. Much of it was screened in Doctor Confidential last Saturday on BBC One but this is the full interveiw.

Darren and Mark..

We had a really lovely Sunday roast at Darren and Mark's place yesterday. We were having such a good time we completely lost track of time and ended up staying until 10pm. The sign of good hosts! Thanks guys.

Arsenal 3-1 Plymouth...

It was bloody freezing at the Emirates Stadium on Saturday afternoon but Paul and I braved the elements to watch our brave soldiers trample all over Plymouth Argyle in the third round of the FA Cup. They held us quite successfully in the first half but the floodgates opened in the second. Big up to Nasri and Gallas for their sterling work at motivating the team and to captain Robin van Persie for his two goals.

The 'new' Doctor Who...

So now we know. The eleventh Doctor Who will be Matt Smith. He's worked with Billie Piper (Rose) three times before; in The Ruby In The Smoke, The Shadow in the North and also the first season of The Secret Diary of a Call Girl. He was also in In Bruges.

The TV Doctors Who to date have been:
1. William Hartnell (1963-1966)
2. Patrick Troughton (1966-1969)
3. Jon Pertwee (1970-1974)
4. Tom Baker (1974-1981)
5. Peter Davison - pictured (1982-1984)
6. Colin Baker (1984-1986)
7. Sylvester McCoy (1987-1996)
8. Paul McGann (1996)
9. Christopher Eccleston (2005)
10. David Tennant (2005-2010)
11. Matt Smith (2010 - ?)

Boxing Day in Welwyn...

On Boxing Day Stuart and I went to stay with my folks for a few days. It was a really nice relaxing time. And on the Satruday we went for a walk through the marsh and into the village. It bought back wonderful memories of my childhood and teenage years; working in the local pub, the local bakery, singing in the church... ah, happy days.

Click here for more pix and a closer look

Andrew and Tim's Party...

On Monday night Stuart and I went to Andrew and Tim's party down in Brockley. As at their summer party all the their lovely and gorgeous friends were there. Being a school night we didn't stay too late. Well, midnight.

Click here for more pix and a closer look.