New York Pix...

A Long Weekend...

It's been a fun few days. People to stay, things to celebrate and stuff to do. On Thursday Marc and Bernd our friends from Cologne came to stay for weekend and it was great to host them. That evening we went out to celebrate my job promotion up and down the strip and got completely wasted. Hurrah!

Friday was a quiet day for me (spent descaling the washing machine and dishwasher if you must know) but by the evening we were ready for more fun so we all went out for drinks and supper in Soho. By Saturday afternoon we had recovered enough to make it to drinks at the OXO tower to celebrate Rod and Frank's commitment ceremony. A very lavish do and lots of fun. In the evening we went to Duckie with the boys to see the The Cholmondeleys & The Featherstonehaughs with music from Yum Yum Band. Weird, funny and compelling. Great fun. By Sunday we were beginning to flag but girding our loins we headed off on an East End escapade - Columbia Road flower market, Brick Lane, brief tour of the environs and then down to Southwark Park to the Cuban festival before heading back to the river for beers. All great fun. But by the evening we were pooped. Not that that stopped us doing cheap drinks last night mind you.

Dr Who at Gay Pride...

Concerns that this month's Gay Pride festival on Saturday 30th June might lose out because it clashes with the season finale of Doctor Who have led organisers to show the sci-fi favourite on giant screens in Trafalgar Square. Fun starts at 3pm. Dr Who starts at 7:10pm.

Microsoft's New Incredible Graphics Apps...

Back in March Microsoft ran a demo of their new digital photo app called Seadragon and coupled with Photosynth it is really quite amazing. You can dynamically browse gigabyte after gigabyte of online photos with the flick of a wrist. A one point during the demo the guy loads every page of Dickens's Bleak House onto his display, then zooms in on a single chapter. And a single paragraph. And a single word. He also creates a 3D image of Trafalgar Square from simple photos. Amazing.

Brain teaser answer...
240mph

Distance = speed x time

Average speed over = s1 = 696
Average speed back = s2 = 145

So if time over is t1 and time back is t2 then distance = s1 x t1 = s2 x t2

Total average speed = (2 x distance)/(t1 +t2) = (2 x s2 x t2)/(t1 + t2) = (2 x s2)/(t1/t2 + 1) = (2 x s2)/(s2 / s1 + 1) = (2 x s2 x s1)/(s2 + s1) = (2 x 145 x 696)/(145 + 696) = 240

Brain teaser...
A plane maintains an average speed of 696mph from London to New York. It then returns from New York to London at an average speed of 145mph. What is the average speed for the entire journey?

Back in the Saddle...

Good to be back in the saddle. Did I say saddle? I meant harness - 1758 unread emails. Yikes!

Notes from New York...
Friday
Smooth flight / US Customs easy / Big Yellow Taxi / Stu's first view of Manhattan skyline / Chelsea Hotel eccentric / Barracuda packed / been awake 24 hours

Saturday
The Dish / 8th avenue walk / Christopher St / Pier 45 / Washington Square / Open air jazz / Rawhide / jetlag / 6pm bed

Sunday
The Dish / Queens' Gay Pride parade / Jackson Heights / Ugly Betty come alive / still lagged / 7:30pm bed

Monday
Raining so shopping / Century 21 / Macy's / Times Square / Virgin Megastore / FAO Schwartz / Abercrombie & Fitch (given resale warning!) / Woof! @ The View

Tuesday
The Dish / Uptown bus tour (Kiki) / Harlem / Downtown bus tour (Stanley) / Hairspray on Broadway (fab) / Rawhide

Wednesday
The Dish / Brooklyn bus tour (Stanley again) / Abercrombie & Fitch (so much for their warning!) / Brooklyn Bridge walk / DUMBO & bar

Thursday
The Viceroy / B & H / Rockerfeller Center observation deck / Grand Central Terminal / train to Connecticut (New Cannan) to see Emma / Southwalk marina for sunset / got v drunk / dancing in tapas restaurant / last train home / Stu falls off the train platform injures his leg / we give false name to guard who thinks we might sue

Friday
Advil to the rescue / All-day Doctor Who marathon in bed / New York Strip house (best steak ever) / Rawhide

Saturday
Circle Line boat cruise / Statue of Liberty / Central Park walking / Strawberry Fields / Metropolitan Museum of Art / Observation deck / Armoury / The Ring / The Dish / Bar crawl (Gym, Splash, Gym, Rawhide, The View, Gym)

Sunday
Coney Island / Check-in / Dinner at The Dish / Gym / Rawhide / Barracuda

Monday
Pack / Shopping / Limo to JFK / Four hours on tarmac waiting for storm to pass

Tuesday
Finally landed and (surprise, surprise) Heathrow Express is suspended / Home and catch up with missed Dr Who

God, I hate the Heathrow Express...
We had left for the airport in plenty of time - what with my nerves at flying - and decided the quickest route was to take the Heathrow Express direct from Paddington to Heathrow. Big mistake.

And it's not like we hadn't been stung by that particular poor excuse for a 'service' before. Last year we'd been caught out by their crappy time-keeping and almost missed our plane.

It's not just the lateness of the Heathrow Express trains I object to ('15 minute journey time'? - really?) it's also the fact that you've been fleeced (59 quid steerage return for us both - ouch!) and the lack of meaningful announcements ("we'll be moving soon, folks" - why not tell us how to get to the ruddy airport quicker? Grrrrr.)

So here we were again - sitting at Paddington Station on an 'express' that was going no where. Just stopped like a chip waiting for vinegar.

And when we did start moving it was slower than walking pace. We may have already checked-in online for our flight but what good was that when we were on a train that crawled a few feet, stopped and crawled some more? A train we couldn't get off I might add.

We got more and more angry as a journey
that should have been taken us a mere quarter of an hour stretched ahead of us like a chasm.

We cursed Heathrow Express as we looked out of the train window realising we had missed the deadline for the last bag-drop for our luggage. So we would have no clothes in New York. Great. But wait, could we stuff what clothes we could into our ruck sacks and throw the rest and our suitcases away? Maybe. Our minds were racing. What could be afford to jettison? That's if we made the flight at all.

This was a nightmare. Not the way we had planned to start our holiday together.

Eventually we arrived. The quarter of an hour journey had turned into an hour and twenty minutes.

We ran from the train to the airport entrance.

Have you ever tried running through an airport? I'd not recommend it. They are big places. And suitcases are heavy things to lug. And when you're in a bnd rush you narrowly miss every lift as the doors close in front of you. And the escalators are all packed. And dazed and confused passengers are trying to find their check-in desks - blocking you at every turn. And security guards hands instinctively reach down to check their guns as they catch you out of the corner of their beady eyes running. No, I'd really not recommend it.

So did we make our flight?

Yes, we did. Thank God for British Airways. "Don't worry, sir, we'll get you on your flight. We'll take your bags to the plane by hand. And here's a Fast Track sticker. Just walk to the front of every queue." So we did. We ran actually. Straight through security. Straight to our gate. And straight onto our plane. Phew!

We were on our way. No thanks to bloody Heathrow Express.

We're Leaving Today...

Our New York flight isn't until 6pm this evening so it's going to be a long day today all told. And of course I've got the whole day to get myself worked up about the flight. Maybe a "small sweet sherry" around lunchtime will calm my nerves.

I wonder what films they'll have on the flight to distract me? Oh blimey, I just checked: Ghost Rider, Shooter, The Number 23, Factory Girl, Music and Lyrics, Miss Potter, The Last Time, My Big Fat Greek Wedding, Bridge to Terabithia and National Treasure. Not much of interest there.

But what to pack? We're going for ten nights so maybe if I take enough for say five nights and then that'll force me to do a bit of shopping. Century 21 here we come.

Anyways, as I'm going to be away for a while I may not be blogging (not sure yet) - so if you don't hear from me I hope you're all having fun.

Start Spreading the News...

Tomorrow Stuart and I are off to New York for ten days. It's Stuart's first time so we're planning on doing the full tourist thing. We're staying in midtown at the Chelsea Hotel on 23rd Street and more or less walking everywhere from there. The last time I was there was with David in 2001. New York (and the world) is a very different place now.

So we would be really interested if anyone has any tips or advice of places in New York that we really must see.

[Thanks to Sparky, David and Oscar for the advice so far]

Big Brother Sister 2007...

Those first impressions. By text:

BB: house weird and colourful. Sink and bath in living room. They have a fish telephone. Oven in bedroom. Four beds - sleep 4, 3, 2 and 1. Fridge in small garden. Astro turf. Small pool. Neon diary room and chair. All girl house mates so far.

1st two in are blond 18 year old pink-loving screechy girlie twins. Then 60 year old posh trout.

Then next was black stroppy jobless IT girl. Then weird druggy hippy pink-haired lezza (loving her!). Then Yorkshire Victoria Beckman wannabe. Then nervy Narinda clone. Then posh blond Tory Peaches clone.

Lastly we have a fat ugly enormous-knockered Welsh embalmer (loving her!, an Indian catholic misery and a old fat ugly political leftie bisexual Eastender (loving her!). So that's 11 girls in, no men. Man Friday?

The Best Disco In Town...

Last Saturday Stuart and I went to see The Best Disco In Town Live 2007 at the Hammersmith Apollo. 70s-fastic disco shakedown with Rose Royce, The Three Degrees, Odyssey, George McCrae, Travares and The Real Thing. We loved it. Even though some of the acts seemed to have few of their original line-up.
High point: Odyssey zipping up their boots
Low point: The Real Thing rapping (!)

The Drowsy Chaperone...

On Friday night Stu and I went to the Novello Theatre to see The Drowsy Chaperone starring Elaine Paige. Written by fans of musical theatre, about fans of musical theatre and for fans of musical theatre. I have to say we weren't impressed. It was a bit of a one joke show. Maybe we just weren't in the mood. It was all very vaudeville. Very razzmatazz. Very trying-too-hard. Apparently it had transferred from Broadway. Hmmm. Lost something in translation me'thinks.
Best bit: It was short. No interval.
Worst bit: The second half

Russians Attacks Gays...

I think this sort of homophobia strikes Russia well and truly off the tourist map, don't you? Disgraceful.

Marc Almond in Concert...

Just in case you haven't heard:

Monday 9th July: Shepherds Bush Empire
Marc Almond returns to the stage this July following the release of his latest record 'Stardom Road' in July. After a near-fatal accident back in 2004, he started recording this musical journey of cover songs that have influenced Marc through his life and his significant growth as an artist.
Tickets available online @ TicketWeb or phone 0870 771 2000

Brain Teaser Answer...

The answer is 379.

They are a series of Happy Primes; happy numbers which are also prime numbers.
[Thanks to Dr Who for the heads up]

Brain Teaser...

What's the next number in the sequence?
313, 331, 367...

[Thanks Dr Who series 3 episode 7: '42']

Simon Amstell...

On Sunday Roger organised tickets for Kevin, Stu and myself to go and see Simon Amstell do a pre-Edinburgh warm up gig at the Pleasance Theatre. He was trying out some new material and it was all most amusing but for his flow. He constantly interrupted himself by writing down a punchline that worked or crossing off one that didn't. Still good though.

A Gay History of Britain: Love and Sex Between Men Since the Middle Ages...

Last night I went to a book reading at Gay's The Word by Matt Cook. Matt was reading from his latest book A Gay History of Britain: Love and Sex Between Men Since the Middle Ages. Fascinating.

The Lord Of The Rings: On Stage...

Last Wednesday Stu, Rog, Kevin and I went to the Theatre Royal Drury Lane to see The Lord Of The Rings: On Stage (still in previews) - the first ever major stage adaptation of JRR Tolkien's classic trilogy The Lord of the Rings.

It was certainly a spectacular show to watch; great set, wind and smoke aplenty, grey and white wizards, flying elves, magic-wielding hobbits, bouncing back-flipping orcs, stilt-walking ents et al.

We lost count of the number of special effects; the flashing lights, the perpetual smoke, the hydraulic spinning stage and the actors on wires.

Oh and it was a musical too. The songs were not very memorable though and so it just served to slow the pace down.

My overall impression is: good show but a tad over ambitious. Needless to say gollum stole the show.

Best bit: the orcs coming out into the audience
Worst bit: the hobbits coming out into the audience

QX...

Guess who's in QX this week? Page 42.

Brian Teaser Answers...

Well done Scott for getting all the answer correct

1. 40 trucks: his original garage could hold 32 trucks. By increasing the size by 50%, the new garage could then hold 48 trucks - which is 8 more than he currently owned.

2. 946

3. Tiptoe through the tulips

BBC in Kylie Minge Shocker!...

Jose Arguing with Police about his Dog...

"A man was arrested on suspicion of obstructing police. He was later cautioned," said a police spokesman. You really couldn't make this stuff up.

Brain Teasers...

1. A haulage contractor did not have room in his garage for 8 of his trucks. He therefore increased the size of his garage by 50 percent, which gave him room for 8 more trucks than he owned altogether. How many trucks did he own?

2. My local greengrocer is a would-be mathematician. He likes to arrange his apples in nice rows. However, when he lays his apples in rows of 3 he has one left over. When he lays them in rows of 5 he also has one left over. Remarkably he also has one left over when he arranges them in rows of 7 and 9. 11 seems to be the magic number, for, in rows of 11 there are no apples left over. How many apples does the greengrocer have?

3. What is represented by these letters?
T T T
U I U
L P L
I T I
P O P
S E S

Scientology vs. BBC...

Panorama last night was way too short. It didn't even begin to air the issues. But John Sweeney's rant was a joy. He loses it big time with this Scientology guy who's been badgering him. Although he did apologise afterwards. A bit of classic TV.

This Is England...

Stu and I went to the movies to see This Is England last week. It was a great film but not without it's faults. I wasn't 100% sure that the characters motivation ran 100% true but it was good to see the subject matter of skinheads' racism tackled head-on. Worth seeing.

Eurovision 2007

Ukrainian nationalists have been complaining about drag queen Verka Serdyuchka representing them at the Eurovision Song Contest in Helsinki on Saturday. So I know you I hope is going to win!

Short clip here.

Obligatory camp video here.

Arsenal vs Chelsea...

It was our last home game of the season last Sunday - shame we didn’t win though. But the score line reflected the play. And it was fun to stop Chelsea's premiership ambitions in their tracks too.

Miss Diane...

Last night Stu treated me to a trip to Wembley Arena to see Miss Diane. No, not her from Crossroads... The fabulous Miss Diana Ross.

She was a diva-esque 25 minutes late on stage but we didn't care. She proceeded to do 100 minutes with no break: four costumes changes and all the hits. Big sound. Big frocks. Big hair. She was fantatsic.

Gilbert and George Art For Free...

Pssst! Wanna own your own Gilbert and George original? For free! You have 48 hours to download it from now.

Marc Almond at Wiltons...

On Friday night we went to see Marc Almond at Wilton's Music Hall. It was good to see Marc back on stage after so long though he was all but crippled by stage-fright at times and, as he himself remarked, the show was all over the place. On Sunday we went to see him again however and it was a show transformed; better set list, better staging and better performance. He was essentially promoting his new album Stardom Road which is out June 4th. The track listing is:
1. I Have Lived
2. I Close My Eyes and Count to Ten (featuring Sarah Cracknell)
3. Bedsitter Images
4. The London Boys
5. Strangers In The Night
6. The Ballad Of The Sad Young Men (featuring Antony Hegarty)
7. Stardom Road
8. Kitsch
9. Backstage (I’m Lonely)
10. Dream Lover
11. Happy Heart
12. Redeem Me (Beauty Will Redeem The World)
13. The Curtain Falls

One Year In...

It's Stu and my first anniversary today. The last year has flown by.

East London Line and Victoria Line...

Changes are afoot at Highbury & Islington station near where I live. The new East London Line to open in 3 years. And then extended to Highbury & Islington a year later. So I'll be able to get the train direct from H&I to Sydenham where Sarah lives.

But… lots of work is going on the tube system in the meantime too. From TfL web site: During 2007/08, major Tube improvement works will include: Victoria line - Over 18 extensive weekend closures for line upgrade work, including two weekends of full-line closures and four partial weekend closures. Additionally, the Victoria line will close at 23:00 every night from Monday to Thursday, between 23 July and 22 November 2007, to assist Metronet with delivery of this major line upgrade. Early closure of the Victoria line will be suspended if it coincides with a Premiership football match at White Hart Lane or Emirates, and if there is a major event at Finsbury Park.
Alternative travel arrangements for the Victoria line early closures will include ticket acceptance on most local bus routes and two special bus services:
From Brixton to Victoria (where passengers will be able to use the Circle and District lines): starting at 23:00 to close of traffic
From Walthamstow Central to Finsbury Park (where passengers can catch the Piccadilly line): starting at 23:00 to close of traffic.

The Ukulele Orchestra of Great Britain - Smells Like Teen Spirit...

[Video removed]

More Ukulele & Synth Nonsense - Are Friends Electric?...

[Video removed]

Stuart Capon RIP...

It was Stuart's funeral yesterday. It's been such a miserable week since his death that I felt compelled to go down to Devon at the end of last week to show some support for his sister Sarah and his partner Christopher. It was good to be able to give some practical help too helping look after Sarah's triplets. I also had the chance to sit in Stuart and Christopher’s garden and make my peace with his passing. I'd known Stuart for nearly twenty years and have such fond memories of all the time we'd spent together. I'll miss him lots.

Stuart used to work in the oil and gas industry like me and was much loved. Last week this email arrived at work.

Dear LPG friend,

Many in the gas market will already be aware of the sad news that Stuart Capon passed away on Friday 20th April.

Stuart will be missed and remembered not just for his good friendship but also in our market for his alert, enquiring, mind which resulted in such a high and longstanding reputation. Stuart never lost his enthusiasm for the marketplace, even after a spell away. It was enthusiasm for LPG... but always with an eye for fun and a very quick wit.

All those who had contact with Stuart over the last 18 months or so have been quite amazed and impressed with his positive spirit and bravery in fighting initially liver cancer caused by hepatitis earlier in life and later by other cancerous complications.

It can not have been at all easy for him but please be HAPPY that Stuart found such fulfilment over this time ! He really did, and so did those he came into contact with.

Lots of people are asking what they can do to show their respects to Stuart and to offer support to friends, family and Christopher, his almost ever long partner.

Stuart's funeral will be held on Tuesday 1st May at 15.30 hrs and will be a private family affair.

However, there will be a opportunity to join his family and friends on Saturday 16th June in Devon to remember his life. It is requested that flowers are not sent but should anyone wish to make a donation in Stuart's memory, it is suggested the hospice that was such a help to him should be the beneficiary of such a thought.

details are
The Triangle Centre
c/o Mr Tony Pithers
Kaywana Hall
Higher Comtour RD
Kingswear
Devon
TQ6 OAY

Devon will be hard to reach for many people. There will be arranged at a later date a memorial gathering in London to celebrate the life of Stuart. We will without fail let you know the details of that in due course.

Qantas to Test in-flight SMS...

Hi hon, I'm on d plane. Qantas has been given the green light to start testing in-flight mobile phone services, but voice services will be disabled. They were given the thumbs-up to a limited evaluation of GSM mobile phones and GPRS devices, but only for one commercial aircraft. According to a Qantas spokesperson, the three-month trial will involve a Boeing 767 plying between domestic capital cities. Qantas has decided to limit the pilot to e-mail and text, and disable voice services. The spokesperson said once the e-mail and SMS evaluation ends, Qantas will decide if voice calls should be tested. Qantas said passengers wanting to send or receive an SMS will need international roaming activated, and a GSM mobile phone. To send or receive e-mail messages, a GPRS-enabled device would do. Great, first the tubes and now the airlines.

Arsenal 3-1 Fulham...

Drew and I went to the game last night. We had the run in the first half but Fulham fought back in the second. It was not their night though and the result was fair. Just two more games to play this season - the next being Chelsea at home next Sunday. Can't wait.

Three Things about me you may not have known...

I got this 'chain letter' from my sister. It's a rather old fashioned thng to do - but great fun all the same. Feel free to forward to three of your mates, answer here etc. Here are my answers

Jobs I have had in my life:
Screwer (AirWick)
Engineer (MOD)
IT (Oil company)

Three Places that I have lived
Welwyn
Cambridge
London

Three TV shows I like to watch:
Simpsons
Lost
Heroes

Three places I have been on holiday
Brazil
Cork
Melbourne

Three of my favourite foods:
Mayonnaise
Mustard
Marmite

Three places where I would rather be right now:
At work (no, really!)
Amongst friends
In a taxi

Three fantastic memories:
A night out in Tokyo
Hearing “I love you” for the first time
Heaven night club one Sat in Nov 1987

Three people I think will respond
David
Guy
Roger

Ohh! The pressure for you three

....
Now, here's what you're supposed to do... And please do not spoil the Fun.
Hit forward, delete my answers and type in your answers. Then send this to a whole bunch of people you know INCLUDING the person who sent it to you. The theory is that you will learn a lot of little known facts about those who know you. Remember to send it back to the person who sent it to you.

Little Shop Of Horrors...

Mum, Dad, Stu and I went to see bit of nonsense that is Little Shop Of Horrors again last night. It's now transferred to the Duke Of York's. Alistair McGowan has now joined the original cast of Sheridan Smith, Paul Keating and Mike McShane.

The transfer has been largely successful. A few more bells and whistles. But the sound was much better when we went to see it at the Chocolate Factory. Still, we enjoyed ourselves.

Credit Card Crazy...

I've gone a bit credit card crazy recently: applying for three of them that is. Why? Well, they all offer such great deals that's why and they're free. (It should also perhaps be noted I collect BA miles.)

With my new British Airways American Express Credit Card each £1 I spend gets me 1 BA mile (3 BA miles if I buy BA flights and products with it).

With my new Tesco Clubcard Credit Card each £4 I spend gets me 1 Clubcard point (5 Clubcard points if I buy Tesco products). And Tesco Clubcard points can be converted into... (you've guessed it) BA miles.

And with my new Arsenal Rewards Credit Card I get... er... well... not much really apart from a few reward points to buy tat (a-hem) but I do get that nice feeling of having a a bit of Arsenal plastic in my back pocket.

I'm not actually planning on running up any debt as such just seeing if I can get some 'points'. And this from the man who has 11,495 Boots points and 34,137 Nectar points unspent.

Happy St George's Day...

St George's Day 2007: Trafalgar Square will host a free programme of classic film and television comedy on Monday 23 April, as part of the Mayor of London's St George's Day celebrations, which will culminate in a special screening of Monty Python and the Holy Grail, and a 'coconut orchestra' world record attempt involving cast members of West End hit, Monty Python's SPAMALOT. The supporting programme from the BFI National Archive will also feature silent films showing London across the 20th century alongside a selection of comedy silents with a Python-esque theme. At 6.45pm, cast members from SPAMALOT will teach members of the public how to ‘clip-clop’ with two halves of a coconut, in time to the Monty Python classic 'Always Look on the Bright Side of Life' prior to the 'coconut orchestra' world record breaking attempt, due to take place at 7pm. The current record holder is New York, where 1,785 people took part in a similar event last year, and at least 2,000 people are expected to help set a new world record in London. The Guinness Book of Records are being invited to verify the numbers taking part - coconuts will be provided! Participants should register by 6.30pm in order to take part in the ‘coconut orchestra ‘world record attempt’. The climax of the evening will be the special screening of Monty Python and the Holy Grail (15 certificate) at 7.30pm. This classic example of Monty Python’s own brand of comic lunacy is a tale of King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table and their quest for the Holy Grail.
Entry: FREE
Information: http://www.london.gov.uk/gla/events/index.jsp

All in TRAFALGAR SQUARE
Classic English Comedy on Screen
Monday 23 April 2007, 12:30pm-9pm
English humour is recognised and enjoyed throughout the world and what
better way to celebrate St George’s Day than with a dose of collective
laughter. See a selection of English comedy shorts compiled by the BFI
plus a special showing at 7.30pm of Monty Python and the Holy Grail (15)
on a big screen in Trafalgar Square. As Monty Python's SPAMALOT delights
audiences at the Palace Theatre, come to the Square and see the classic
film from 1974 that inspired it! Arranged in association with Monty
(Python) Pictures Ltd.
PLEASE NOTE Monty Python and the Holy Grail carries a 15 rating.

*
12.30pm - Classic television comedy clips representing the best
of English Humour. Selected by the BFI

*
1pm-2pm - 'Futtock's End' (1969) written by and starring Ronnie
Barker. With permission from Digital Classics

*
2pm - 5pm - Historic silent films from BFI National Archive
revealing London across the 20th century

*
5pm - 6.30pm - Selection of comedy clips (see 12.30 - 1) and BFI
archive programme

*
6.45pm -7.15pm (Register by 6.30pm)
Monty Python's SPAMALOT, the London stage production inspired by
the 1974 film Monty Python and the Holy Grail will lead on an
attempt to break the world record for number of people playing
in a coconut orchestra, currently held by New York with 1785
people. Registration from 5pm onwards. Coconut Orchestra
rehearsal at 6.30pm. World Record attempt at 7pm. Be there to
guarantee your place in history. Coconuts will be provided!

*
7.30pm – 9pm
Screening of Monty Python and the Holy Grail. (15) With its
byline 'Makes Ben Hur look like an epic', this tale of King
Arthur in medieval England is packed with Monty Python's unique
brand of comic lunacy. (SUITABLE FOR OVER 15s ONLY)

[Thanks Rog]

The Lives of Others...

Last night Stu and I went to see the Oscar winning film The Lives of Others at the Vue N1. It's original title was Das Leben der Anderen i.e it's a German language film (not that it said that on the poster mind you and as a joke some wag in the cinema groaned loudly when it started in German).

It was a good film though in that it seemed a truthful representation of the East German Stasi in 1984 and now they snooped on people all the time. Perhaps the Stasi might have been a little bit meaner though and there was no violence or fabricated evidence which I find hard to believe. There was a little bit of a Hollywood ending too but enjoyable all the same. God, the GDR looked grey back then.

Booze worse than Speed or Acid shocker...

So recent research from the Lancet magazine suggests a better way to categorise drugs is based on the harm they do to the user and to society more widely. The final list put heroin at the top, alcohol was in fourth place, ketamine in fifth, and tobacco in sixth. Cocaine was at number two followed by barbiturates. Cannabis kept its mid-rank position at number 11. Bringing up the rear were khat or qat in 20th place and amyl nitrates (poppers) in 19th. Ecstasy was the third least dangerous drug, according to researchers. So there you go. Think I'll stick to a good strong cuppa.

Gas Bill...

I know the warmer weather is upon us at the moment but memories of last month's chill came back when I got my three monthly gas bill recently. This time last year it was £132. But this most recent one was over £455! Either I've turned into a gas guzzler this past three months, they've made a mistake or gas prices have shot up (which everybody tells me has indeed happened). Wait, it's probably all three. Let's hope me turning the heating down, having it on for less time and British Gas's recent price drop will help with next year's winter bill.

I feel like a pelican. Everywhere I look there's a massive bill in front of me.

Arsenal 3-1 Man City...

Yay! We're up to third (for the moment at least). It was an exciting yet frustrating game to watch at the Emirates last night though. We just don;t have the strikers available. The law of averages (should such a thing exist) meant that if our midfield got it up to their area it had to go in eventually. Three times as it happens. And Lehmann is a ruddy liability at times. But the biys played well and the scoreline reflected the game we watched.

It's Gym Space, But Not As We Know It...

I've final taken the plunge (quite literally as it has a pool) and joined our local gym. Highbury Pool Highbury Leisure Centre has just had a £1.6m refit and now sports a pool, three gym rooms, two studios and a sauna. I've not actually set foot inside a gym in over three years but the double impetus of an ever expanding waistline and slight wheezing after walking up even the shortest flight of stairs has spurred me to think again. Heart attacks before you're fifty are so last century.

The membership set me back the princely sum of £517 plus a £50 joining fee which I guess is a high enough price/incentive to keep going regularly. No point in wasting the fee. I've promised Stu I'll give myself ten weeks to get into it.

The membership I chose (Izz card Platinum) gives me access to everything for free so we went swimming on Sunday (Stu thirty lengths, me a paltry twenty) and last night I went to a step class (how 1990s?). I used to go to step three times a week yesteryear at the Y but I'd not done it in over a decade. It soon came back to me though; 'repeater knee', 'straddle', 'superman' and 'round the world'. And no, I wasn't the only man in the class. Just. God, I ache this morning. But I feel better.

Has anyone got any tips for starting out back at the gym?

Arsenal 2-1 Bolton ...

Paul and I went to see the Gunners play on a lovely sunny Saturday afternoon. It was our first win in five games. What a relief. Shame we had to come from behind again though.

The Crimson Diva - Marc Almond remixed...

My mate Hanko had edited a video of Marc Almond's The Crimson Diva. Fab.

Gwen McCrae...

Last night Stu treated me to dinner, drinks and a show: the rather marvelous Gwen McCrae at the Jazz Cafe in London's glitzy Camden Town.

Due to turn sixty-four this year McCrae has lost none of her sultry sexiness. She oozed onto the stage cracking jokes, playing with the audience and rendering each of her songs note perfect. Buried amongst her hits Rockin' Chair, Funky Sensation, All This Love That I'm Givin' and 90% of Me Is You were a bit of Prince's Purple Rain and Hues Corporation's Rock The Boat. Fab.

Apple iPod Sales Surpass 100m...

Not that that means there are 100m owners mind you. I've bought four of them myself!

Arsenal 0-1 West Ham...

I took my Dad to see Arsenal play on Saturday. A shameful performance by the Gunners didn't in any way dampen my mood. I do like my Dad.

Brain Teaser Answers...

Well we only had one entry this time round so maybe it was a bit too tough. I'll make it easier next time. Here are the answers anyway.

1. 72 people: we have enough room for 60 of these, expanding the 60 capcity by 40% will give us enough room for 84 - which we know is 12 more than the current count.

2. 4 people.
159 is the product of the number of people invited and the number of pages in each document. The only two numbers which, when multiplied together, give 159 are 3 and 53, which are known as its prime factors. So the number of people given documents was either 159, 53 or 3. It is extremely unlikely that Stephen would have had time to distribute 53 documents to 53 people (let alone 159) in the few minutes available, so he must have distributed three copies of the document, and each copy had 53 pages in it. His manager kept the original, making four documents for the four at the meeting.

3. The letter U

300...

Stu and I went to see 300 last night. Load of old bollocks. I almost fell asleep. Bring back Sin City (coming soon I hear). It made the 300 Spartans with their 1800 abs seem like homophobic homoerotic hypocrites. Bah!

Spartans, 300: Plot, Nil.

Calvin Harris 'Acceptable in the 80s'...

I so love this: [Video removed]

Brain Teasers...

A slightly tougher set of questions this time round as it's Easter.

1. Our company has recently expanded and we can no longer accommodate all the staff in the conference room for a training course. Luckily 12 people do not need to attend the training course on this occasion so we are OK this time round. However if we increase the conference room by 40%, this will allow for everyone, plus enough room for the extra 12 people for future events. How many people work at our company?


2. Stephen has to take photocopies of the marketing strategy and personally deliver one copy to everyone who is coming to the management meeting at noon, and return the original to his manager. And he only has half an hour to do it. Stephen churned out 159 sheets of paper from the photocopier. How many people went to the meeting?


3. What occurs once in June, once in July, but twice in August?

The Apple of My i(Pod)...

Apple giveth and Apple taketh away.

N-n-n-n-nineteen...

I've now been in my current office for thirteen years. And for six years before that I was doing the same job for the same company but in a slightly different office across the road. So that's nineteen years doing the same job. Man and boy.

Playstation 3 Is Shit Video...

So how are the Sony marketing-heads handling all the negative press surrounding the launch of their new games console? Stuff like this ain't helping, a lovely little song complaining about Sony pissing their brand away.

And here are the top ten things that Sony Execs wish they hadn't said.

Billy Mackenzie Tribute...

Last night Darren, David, Paul and I went to the Billy Mackenzie Tribute at the Shepherd's Bush Empire. It would have been Billy's 50th birthday so lots of bands got together for a bit of a party and a benefit night in aid of Sound Seekers.

The acts were there I guess because they were either Billy friends, fans or collaborators. We didn't get too much of the maestro's oeuvre in the end but enough to keep the interest up.

On the bill were Electric Soft Parade (a rather over long prog rock set I thought), British Electric Foundation (their first ever gig believe it or not with highlights being Claudia Brucken on backing vocals for Temptation and a haunting version of Party Fears Two), OneTwo (OMD + Ms Brucken = fabulousness), Claudia Brucken & Andrew Poppy (ZTT is alive and well my friends), Subterraneans (obviously real Billy fans and I loved their version of No) and Apollo 440 (their first gig in seven years and who came closest to actually sounding like Billy).

It was a great night and left me wanting more. Well, more Claudia Brucken to be honest.

YouTube Video Awards 2006...

So the seven 'best' clips on YouTube have been announced. They're all good but the OKGo video still gets my vote.

Flying The Flag (For You)...

I know this happened last week but I've been a bit busy: So Scooch's airline-themed tune Flying The Flag (For You) will be representing us in Eurovision in May. Fab. I for one love the camp song and the even camper dance routine. I have a bit of a soft spot for Scooch - Mike Stock and Matt Aitken's answer to Pete Warterman's Steps. Their hit When My Baby never fails to bring tears of joy to my eyes. No really. I cry with joy whenever I hear it. Really.

My name is overyourhead and I'm a Scooch fan. There, I've said it.

Slapton...

It was fantastic weekend down in Devon. Sarah and I and the triplets drove down last Thursday and spent four days in a cottage in Slapton. We had gone down to spend some time with Sarah's brother Stuart. It was great to see Stuey who I have known as a close friend for going on twenty years now. But of course. as was right. everything centred arond the kiddy-winks. At fifteen months they are almost walking, almost talking and a handful of fun to be with. I got a chance to bathe them, dress them, feed them, walk them and play with them: being Daddy for a few days. Bliss. You can see a few snaps below.

Devon...

I'm off for a five day break down in Devon tomorrow. Sarah and I are taking the triplets down to see their Uncle Stuart and Uncle Christopher. Should be fun!

English National Opera: The Gondoliers...

Stuart treated me to a night at the opera on Saturday. Well, strictly speaking is was a night at the operetta; The English National Opera's production of The Gilbert and Sullivan's The Gondoliers.

I'd not seen the The Gondoliers before but it followed a typical G&S structure - lots of girls, lots of boys, two couples falling in love and funny officials getting in the way of true romance.

The staging was great. The cast sang with gusto and we both thoroughly enjoyed ourselves.

One odd thing though. Despite the opera being in English we had 'subtitles'. A screen far above the stage let us read every word that was being sung. Interesting and perhaps something that has been introduced for some time. It was indeed many, many moons ago since I last went to the opera. But it certainly helped us follow the plot (such as it was) more easily.

Hogarth...

On Saturday afternoon Stuart took me to Tate Britain to see the William Hogarth exhibition. It was quite a cultural weekend as you can tell.

It was a bigger show than I had expected; packed full of people and packed full of all the Hogarth favourites; the rather naughty A Harlot's Progress, the satirical A Rake's Progress and the oh so modern Marriage à-la-mode.

And I now know a lot more about him than before I went: William Hogarth was a talented painter and printmaker, really quite clever, a bit of a bounder and really quite vicious. And I think I like him.

And those Before and After pictures are very saucy.

Dolly Parton...

Last night Stuart and I went to Wembley Arena to see big-breasted, big-talented and big-voiced Dolly Parton stage the second night of her sell-out concert.

The packed house (mainly gays and groups of, ahem, wimmin) went wild for our Dolly as she took to the stage. Standing just five feet tall with a 40 inch bosom she cut a spangled, sparkly figure dressed in gold lame. She ran around the stage like a Barbie doll on speed and sang like Minnie Mouse on helium. But what a voice! She may be 61 years old but it's lost none of its power.

Her songs have mainly been country songs over the years with strong elements of folk music in them. And we were treated to some of her classics last night such as Shine, Coat Of Many Colors, Jolene, Two Doors Down, The Grass is Blue, Here You Come Again, Little Sparrow, Islands In The Stream and the all conquering 9 to 5.

She sang a few covers too: Those Were The Days, Imagine and Turn Turn Turn but sadly no Stairway to Heaven. I had been holding out for Love Is Like A Butterfly and A Tender Lie (my favourite Dolly song) too but it was not to be.

In between songs she bantered with the crowd telling us about her childhood and film career. She was always self-deprecating and always very funny.

Something I didn't know, in 1974, her song I Will Always Love You was released and went to the top of the country charts in the US. Around the same time, Elvis Presley indicated that he wanted to cover the song. Dolly was interested until Presley's manager, Colonel Tom Parker, told her that she would have to sign over half of the publishing rights if Elvis recorded the song (as was the standard procedure for songs Elvis recorded). Dolly refused and that decision is credited with helping make her many millions of dollars in royalties from the song over the years. She claims to have made over $6 million from Whitney Houston's cover version alone - selling over 12 million copies.

Little known Dolly facts:
Her production company made the TV show Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
She owns her own wig company.

Dolly famous lines:
"It takes a lot of money to look this cheap."
"If I have one more face lift I'll have a beard!"

10cc...

On Friday Paul treated Simon and I to see 10cc (well, strictly speaking "10cc featuring Graham Gouldman and Friends") at the Shepherd's Bush Empire. And want a brilliant show it was.

The support act was Kiki Dee who wowed us with her amazing voice (she's 60 this year, dontcha know?), her keen sense of humour and great songs including Amoureuse, I Got The Music In Me and a fab cover of Kate Bush's Running Up That Hill.

After the interval 10cc came on from the first note we knew we were in for something special. They sounded great. We were treated to pitch perfect renditions of all their hits including Donna, Rubber Bullets, The Dean and I, The Wall Street Shuffle, Silly Love, Life Is A Minestrone, I'm Not In Love, Art For Art's Sake, I'm Mandy, Fly Me (my personal favourite), The Things We Do For Love, Good Morning Judge and Dreadlock Holiday. We sang and danced throughout

Turns out that Graham Gouldman is a bit of a star turn though. He wrote (and they performed for us on Friday) The Yardbirds For Your Love, Herman's Hermits No Milk Today and The Hollies Bus Stop. Fancy.

And about half way through the set my life was complete in hearing the opening chords to... Wax's Bridge To Your Heart - another Graham Gouldman project with Andrew Gold. Heaven.

New Abercrombie and Fitch Store...

A new Abercrombie and Fitch store is opening in London's Saville Row just round the corner from my office on Thursday 22nd March. Maybe we should place bets as to how many A&F bags there will be on display at people's feet in Comptons on Saturday afternoon.

Notes On A Scandal...

Last night Stu took me to the cinema. We went to see something we'd been wanting to see in ages: Notes On A Scandal. It was great fun - Judy Dench playing the bunny boiler with a restraint and convinction with great aplomb.

Mike Gambit...

Gareth Hunt who played Mike Gambit in the New Avengers has died. Shame. He and Joanna Lumley's Purdey and Patrick McNee's John Steed were true television icons. I used to quite fancy him too.

Blue Cheater...

Tsk, tsk. They should be ashamed of themselves.

How Green Were the Nazis?...

The competition to find the oddest book title 2007 is on. The shortlist is as follows:-
* Tattooed Mountain Women and Spoon Boxes of Daghestan
* How Green Were the Nazis?
* D. Di Mascio's Delicious Ice Cream: D. Di Mascio of Coventry? An Ice Cream Company of Repute, with an Interesting and Varied Fleet of Ice Cream Vans
* The Stray Shopping Carts of Eastern North America: A Guide to Field Identification
* Proceedings of the Eighteenth International Seaweed Symposium
* Better Never To Have Been: The Harm of Coming Into Existence
Vote here.

No Beatles Download...

It's a bit odd that the 'biggest band in the world' wouldn't want you to legitimately download (and let's not forget pay for) their music. Or is it? Beatles download rumour quashed. And I thought Apple vs. Apple was settled.

My Favourite Quotes From The Weekend...

It's like if you're in a room with Delmot O'Leary, Jamie Theakston and Patrick Kielty and you're got a shotgun and only two cartridge. What do you do?
Obvious really. You empty two barrels into Kielty and then have fun with the rifle butt.

I used to want to change the world... Now I just want to leave the room with a bit of dignity.

You're so far behind you think you're in the lead.

Hot Fuzz...

Stu and I went to see Hot Fuzz last night. Very funny. The test of "it's a 'comedy' if you laugh out loud five or more times" was spot on. We laughed five times in the first ten minutes. And it's full of British stars old and new - spotting who they are is a game itself. Go see.

Brain Teaser Answers...

1. Sparkle = 4p
Wibbler = 23p
Nobbler = 13p

2. A big fish in a small pond

Arsenal 1-1 PSV (agg 1-2)...

It was cold at the Emirates Stadium last night. And how prophetic that chill was. We missed so many chances in both halves and paid the price. Out of Europe for this season. Bummer. Just the Premiership to play for now. Third place anyone?

Brain Teasers...

1. At the local sweet shop, three particularly nice sweets are on special offer. A Sparkle, a Wibbler and a Nobbler together cost 40p. A Nobbler is over three times the price of a Sparkle. Six Sparkles are worth more than a Wibbler. A Nobbler, plus two Sparkles costs less than a Wibbler. Can you determine the price of each type of sweet?

2. What is represented by these letters? poFISHnd

TV Will Eat Itself...

What we're asking at the OYH TV newsdesk today:

1. Should Little Britain be cancelled for the crime of over promotion?

2. Should Big Brother, X-Factor, Dancing On Ice, ITV Play, This Morning, Loose Women, Who Wants To Be A Millionaire, Richard and Judy and Saturday Kitchen all be investigated for diddling the public?

3. Should Virgin and Sky just kiss and make up?

Star Trek XI logged for Christmas 2008 Launch...

So here comes the rebooted Star Trek franchise. With a new cast playing James T Kirk, Mr Spock and Dr McCoy and J J Abrams will helm. Should be good.

Arsenal 2-1 Reading...

Paul and I went to the game on Saturday. It seemed like the first time we've had a traditional 3pm Saturday kick-off in ages. It was a fun game to watch albeit rather nerve racking. Cesc Fabregas missed an easy goal and then later scored in our own net. Hey ho. But it was the result we wanted. Now just one point behind Liverpool with two games in hand.

Lost...

Along with 3 million other UK homes I get my digital TV through Cable London Telewest ntl:Telewest Virgin Media. And last night BSkyB and Virgin couldn't agree on the higher price of a contract to supply their basic channels so Sky took them all off air. No more Sky One. No more new Simpsons. No more 24. No more Lost. Well, until they sort it out anyway (which will probably be soon).

Mind you I don't watch 24. New Simpsons I buy on DVD. And Lost can be sourced elsewhere (a-hem). So I'm not too bothered. It might be nice if Virgon pass on the cost savings though.

Reissue: Spelling be...

Is spelling important? I mean in the scheme of things. Is it really important?

The reason why I ask is because a) I hold my hands up and am the first to admit I'm rather bad at spelling myself and, b) certain people delight at pointing out my (and others') errors. They claim it provides essential clarity whereas I suspect it's smug oneupmanship. My evidence is that my bad spelling seems to bother them much more than it bothers me. Just why is that? Should I care more?

It's interesting that over the past few years my spelling has actually got a lot worse than it used to be. Spell-checker aside, I used to be rather good at it but these days I just can't give a toss. I tend to rattle off text at great speed (80 words a minute / 40 of them mistyped!) making many typos which more often than not aren't actual spelling mistakes in themselves. I simply hit a neighbouring key on the keyboard in my hurry to get my thoughts down on the screen and don't bother to watch what appears. I tend to shove my fingers in the general direction of the right key and hope for the best. Mavis Beacon be damned.

Now all this wouldn't matter too much if I actually proofread my work and corrected what I knew to be incorrect. The problem is I don't. If a spell-checker cares to pick it up fine, if not then I certainly can't be bothered to check it manually. Funnily enough I'm actually quite good at proofreading when I can be bothered. I generally know a spelling mistake when I see it - I actually used to do it as part of my job many moons ago. But I just don't think it matters anymore. Spelling just isn't important these days. Discuss.

Marc Almond Signs New Record Deal...

Press Release:

Marc Almond has signed a new 3 album recording deal with Sequel/Sanctuary records under which his new studio album, 'Stardom Road', will be the first release in late May 2007. This album is a collection of cover songs (although there is one original song, too) that embody all the diverse influences that have shaped much of Marc’s musical life. The songs represent many of the styles which Marc has been associated with over the years; from the Torch Song ballad, Chanson, the crooners of the 1950's, the 1960's grand orchestral sounds, the 'over the top' pop glam of the 70's and the electro style of the 80's that made him famous. The album is, above all else, a musical journey through Marc Almond's life as an artist, a personal glimpse into his inspirations, aspirations and conclusions. It is perhaps his most important album being the first release since his near fatal motorcycle crash in 2004, from which he has had to make a public and private recovery. The crash was, as such ordeals are for all victims of traffic accidents, life changing. For Marc, recovery has proven to be frustrating and difficult, in addition his confidence as a performer and ability as a singer severely impaired by his injuries. Recording this album has formed part of
the recovery process and thereby represents a turning point as an artist.

The album has been compiled with the help of Tris Penna, who in turn produced many of the tracks with the acclaimed producer Marius de Vries and arranger Mike Smith. It features guest spots from Antony Hegarty of Antony and the Johnsons, Jools Holland, who Marc often tours with and Sarah Cracknell from St Etienne. Marc is thrilled to be a part of Sanctuary and an addition to the many diverse and cutting edge artists who are already a part of the label.

Chelsea 2-1 Arsenal...

It was a thrilling Carling Cup Final at the Millennium Stadium yesterday. Our young lads (outfield average age 21 by the way) had a cracking first half. Theo Walcott scored his first goal for the first team and Chelsea didn't know which way to turn. Sadly after a lucky break they equalised. In the second half we continued to play strongly but sadly ran out of legs letting in a second goal and what turned out to be the winner. Bizarrely John Terry got knocked out and was stretchered off. And a massive brawl with players and managers involved saw three people sent off and two yellow cards in injury time. Then we had the six and a half hour coach journey back to London to look forward to. Never again! Below are some snaps. 

Moving On...

Stuart is moving house today. Or more accurately, he's moving from sharing with Andy in Bethnal Green to buying a place of his own with Emma and Carolina in Bermondsey. Good luck in your new house, fella.

Carling Cup Final...

On Sunday Paul and I are going to the Carling Cup Final. Arsenal are playing Chelsea. We had to enter a lottery for the tickets as there are at present 43,000 season ticket holders and Arsenal received just 29,000 match tickets for the Final. Luckily we were sucessful. So we're leaving on a 'luxury' coach at 7am Sunday and returning God knows when the traffic jams permit. Should be a giggle though.