BBC Transcript To Be Used In Wake Of Nuclear Attack...

Long before the threat of Global Warming we lived under the threat of a Nuclear Winter. The 1970s was all about how cold things would get if we were attacked by nuclear weapons from Russia. And good old Auntie Beeb had a broadcast ready to reassure us. Bless them.

BBC TRANSCRIPT TO BE USED IN WAKE OF NUCLEAR ATTACK
This is the Wartime Broadcasting Service. This country has been attacked with nuclear weapons. Communications have been severely disrupted, and the number of casualties and the extent of the damage are not yet known. We shall bring you further information as soon as possible. Meanwhile, stay tuned to this wavelength, stay calm and stay in your own homes. Remember there is nothing to be gained by trying to get away. By leaving your homes you could be exposing yourselves to greater danger. If you leave, you may find yourself without food, without water, without accommodation and without protection. Radioactive fall-out, which followed a nuclear explosion, is many times more dangerous if you are directly exposed to it in the open. Roofs and walls offer substantial protection. The safest place is indoors. Make sure gas and other fuel supplies are turned off and that all fires are extinguished. If mains water is available, this can be used for fire-fighting. You should also refill all your containers for drinking water after the fires have been put out, because the mains water supply may not be available for very long. Water must not be used for flushing lavatories: until you are told that lavatories may be used again, other toilet arrangements must be made. Use your water only for essential drinking and cooking purposes. Water means life. Don't waste it. Make your food stocks last: ration your supply, because it may have to last for 14 days or more. If you have fresh food in the house, use this first to avoid wasting it: food in tins will keep. If you live in an area where a fall-out warning has been given, stay in your fall-out room until you are told it is safe to come out. When the immediate danger has passed the sirens will sound a steady note. The "all clear" message will also be given on this wavelength. If you leave the fall-out room to go to the lavatory or replenish food or water supplies, do not remain outside the room for a minute longer than is necessary. Do not, in any circumstances, go outside the house. Radioactive fall-out can kill. You cannot see it or feel it, but it is there. If you go outside, you will bring danger to your family and you may die. Stay in your fall-out room until you are told it is safe to come out or you hear the "all clear" on the sirens. Here are the main points again: Stay in your own homes, and if you live in an area where a fall-out warning has been given stay in your fall-out room, until you are told it is safe to come out. The message that the immediate danger has passed will be given by the sirens and repeated on this wavelength. Make sure that the gas and all fuel supplies are turned off and that all fires are extinguished. Water must be rationed, and used only for essential drinking and cooking purposes. It must not be used for flushing lavatories. Ration your food supply: it may have to last for 14 days or more. We shall repeat this broadcast in two hours' time. Stay tuned to this wavelength, but switch your radios off now to save your batteries until we come on the air again. That is the end of this broadcast.

Eurobeat...

Pano, David, Andy, Kev, Tony, Stuart and I went to see Eurobeat at the Novello Theatre last night. As Terry Wogan said on tape at the end of the show, "If you liked the show tell your friends. If you didn't like the show keep it to yourself... nobody likes a whinger".

So I'll take his advice and keep it to myself.

Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer...

I met Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer yesterday to chat about virtualisation (server, desktop and application) and online 'evolution'. Well, when I say 'met' - I was in a hall with hundreds of other people. Products discussed were Microsoft's new Hyper-V and new versions of Windows (desktop and 'cloud' versions).

Looks like Microsoft will be stripping it's desktop operating system Windows Vista v2 7 down quite a bit i.e. removing email, photo-editing and movie-making apps - instead making these part of Windows Live and available as downloadable options. And soft announcing a new online version of Windows with one-click application execution, software as a service, yah-dee yah-dee yah.

So basically they are going after VMware and Google. They have a lot of ground to make up. But then they did take on IBM, Lotus, Novell...

Arsenal 4-0 FC Porto...

What a relief. After the miserable game on Saturday we needed a win. And boy did we get one. Paul and I were singing and dancing most of the match (no really). Porto weren't really up to much - certainly not what they used to be so it was a comfortably win to get our home campaign started in Champions League Group G.

My Birthday Weekend...

Thank you to one and all for helping me celebrate by birthday.More snaps here.

Arsenal 1-2 Hull...

Oh, the shame of it. The result says it all. Recently promoted Hull ran rings round us. We simply didn't deserve to win. What a contrast to last Tuesday.

The Killers - Human...

The Killers new single Human is simply wonderful. "Like Johnny Cash meets the Pet Shop Boys", as they put it. Listen here.

A Piece Of Cake...

So, yes, I'll admit it. I'm 47 today. 47 years of fun and frolics. 47 years collecting toys. 47 years of playing games. And I have to say I really don't fell much different now than when I was 7, 17, 27 or 37. I have the same basic needs - to love, to learn, to be loved, to have fun and to do new stuff.

And to that end I did something last night I'd never done before. Something I'd never thought I would ever do. I baked a cake. My first one. A lemon drizzle cake it was. And it was great fun. I got the recipe from Stuart; 6oz flour, 6 oz sugar, 6oz butter, three eggs and a lemon.

But me being me I didn't make life easy for myself. I didn't have any kitchen scales. Hmm. What to do? Well I used Google on my iPhone to find out the density of self-raising flour, used the iPhone app "Units" to convert 6oz into grams and then via the density calculated the volume of flour I needed. I then used my thumb knuckle (which is about 1" = 2.54 cm, right?) to measure the diameter of a coffee cup and calculated the cross-sectional area. Again using my thumb I worked out the height I'd need to fill the cup to with flour to get exactly 6oz required. I then repeated this calculation for the caster sugar. Then for the butter (which came in a 250g pack) I calculated the ratio to 250g of the weight of salted butter I needed (again using Google for the denisty) and measured the length of butter I needed to cut. The rest was a piece of cake.

And it turned out OK too. In fact I brought it into work this morning and it's almost gone already (the sign of a good cake?)

So there's a new feather in my cap. Perhaps for my birthday next year I'll ask for some kitchen scales though!

47...

Do you see the number 47 crop up quite a lot in films and on TV? If so, you may have witnessed, or indeed be in on, the in-joke.

The Triplets...

Last Friday Mark and I went over to see Sarah, Ben and the triplets. Dylan, Eve and Lola were in fine fettle - singing Bowie's Starman, playing ring a ring a roses and playing Gulliver (i.e. pinning me to the floor). Great to see everyone as ever. Few more snaps here.

Arsenal 6-0 Sheff Utd...

Oh my giddy aunt. Sarah, Mike, Paul and I went to the game last night at the Emirates not really expecting much. It was the Carling Cup third round and we traditionally play our youngsters to give them some experience. It also gives them the chance to pop up on the radar for potential first team places in the Premiership or European games - a sort of chance at first blood if you like. And in this case Wenger was fielding the youngest Arsenal team ever.

Well, what a team he fielded. The goals came think and fast. Bendtner, Simpson and Wilshere were superb. And Vela got a hat trick. 6-0! We took them apart.

These were the eighteen players that Wenger was picking from to play. Many not old enough to drink!:
12. Carlos VELA (Age 19)
16. Aaron RAMSEY (Age 17)
17. Alex SONG (Age 21)
19. Jack WILSHERE (Age 16)
20. Johan DJOUROU (Age 21)
21. Lukasz FABIANSKI (GK) (Age 23)
24. Vito MANNONE (GK) (Age 20)
26. Nicklas BENDTNER (Age 20)
35. Francis COQUELIN (Age 17)
38. Jay EMMANUEL-THOMAS (Age 17)
40. Kieran GIBBS (Age 18)
41. Gavin HOYTE (Age 18)
42. Henri LANSBURY (Age 17)
43. Fran MERIDA (Age 18)
46. Abu OGOGO (Age 18)
47. Mark RANDALL (Age 18)
50. Jay SIMPSON (Age 19)
56. Emmanuel FRIMPONG (Age 16)

Jane's Birthday...

Taking a break from Open House last Saturday Stu and I joined Sophie to help celebrate Jane's birthday.

We went to the White Hart first in Stokie and then once the evil drink had done it's work (i.e. before long) we moved on to Blush. A few pints later we had flowers in our hair. Tee hee.

No Respect...

Lack of Respect.

Open House 2008...

This weekend just gone was Open House in London. On Saturday we met up with Pano, Andy and Kev for a spot of pavement bashing. As often happens with Open House you don't quite make it into the buildings that you think you might - in our case Houses Of Parliament, Lambeth Palace, BBC Bush House, HM Treasury or 83 Calabria Road but you do find some hidden gems such as 26 Whitehall (former Admiralty Buildings), Banqueting House Whitehall, Horse Guards Whitehall and the sub-crypt of St Martin-in-the-Fields. By mid afternoon to retired to The Cole Hole in the Strand for refreshments, not really making it on to anything else that day.

On Sunday we visited a rather charming Queen Anne house at 67 Grange Walk and then the IPC Media Blue Fin Building on Bankside.

Hey lady, you lady cursing at your life...

I've been to Georgia
I've been to California
I took the "hand" of a preacher man (well, he was a vicar in fact and it wasn't just his hand I took) and we made love in the sun (and also in the sea as it happens)
I've been to Nice (and got mugged outside a campsite)
I've been to (the Isle of) Greece (with a girlfriend first and later with a boyfriend - post outing)
I've sipped champagne on a yacht (many times, many places, darling - sailing around the seas of the British Virgin Islands being a particular favourite)
I've moved like Harlow (well I didn't wiggle quite as much as her) in Monte Carlo (backpacking as it happens)
I've showed 'em what I've got (way too many times to remember in way too many places)
I've been undressed by kings (well, I've been undressed *in* Kings, the now defunct tacky nightclub in the Canaries)
I've seen some things that a woman ain't supposed to see (you'd better believe it, baby!)
I've indeed spent my life exploring subtle whoring (and sometimes not so subtle let's me honest)
I've even been to Paradise (and Heaven, Bang and Bolts)
And before you ask, yes, I've been to me too!

Samsung Omnia (i900) Unboxing...

It's enough to make you want to buy one. If only unboxing all phones and indeed other gadgets where always this much fun.

Echo & The Bunnymen...

Last night Sarah, Ben, Simon, Bruce and I went to see Echo & The Bunnymen perform their classic album Ocean Rain at the Royal Albert Hall.

You may remember EATB from their early hits such The Back of Love and The Cutter or indeed what was for me their other most notable hit Bring On the Dancing Horses (although they did have quite a collection of other single releases).

The first half of the gig was a sort of greatest hits show which the packed auditorium simply lapped up. It was a sell-out show and everyone was singing along.

After the interval a full orchestra joined the boys on stage and the performance of Ocean Rain began. And what a fabulous album it is and a fabulous performance they gave of it. Standout songs were obviously the hits The Killing Moon, Silver and Seven Seas but for me the best song of the night was Ocean Rain itself. It was the song Sarah and Ben had at their wedding and the song Sarah would like to have played at her funeral. Quite wonderful.

EATB have now reformed properly and have a new album in the works The Fountain.

The rumoured support act was to be Scotland's very own Glasvegas but sadly they were a no-show.

Rick & Steve...

What: Rick & Steve: The Happiest Gay Couple in All the World
When: Wednesday 17th September
Time: 22:30 to 23:00 (30 minutes long)
Where: E4
Reviews: Luke warm
Watch it?: Set the PVR

French Alpine Property...

Looking to buy some French Alpine Property? Maybe you want a base for those skiing trips or a place to have a summer holiday. Well, look no further than www.frenchalpineproperty.com - a highly experienced international property agency focused on finding buyers the best French Alps property.

OK, time to declare a vested interest for this shameless plug. French Alpine Property is a company that my sister Joanna has set up with her friend Lee. I went to go and see them at their stand at the French Property Show last weekend and it all looks very swish. Good luck girls!

Matthew Bourne's Dorian Gray...

Stu and I went with Ian and Terry to see Matthew Bourne's Dorian Gray at the Sadler's Wells on Friday. Oh my God. What as amazing show? Sure it wasn't perfect but pretty damned near.

Based upon Oscar Wilde’s novel The Picture of Dorian Gray (1890) this was a fantastical, sexually charged homoerotic romp that had the audience agog from start to finish.

Walthamstow born Matthew Bourne has been influenced in his recent New Adventures productions by both film and TV. So it was with Dorian Gray. There's bits of American Psycho and Velvet Goldmine in there was well as echos of The Line of Beauty. We were transported to the 1980s world of fashion, politics, money, drugs, sex and celebrity. It is here that the power of beauty is so potent. Beauty that opens doors, opens hearts and ultimately opens up the way to disaster.

The dancing was superb, the music was thrilling and the whole production just throbbed with energy.

And let's not ignore the fact that the men were gorgeous. Sexy as.

More production shots here.