Brighton Pride: the good bits...

The hotel saga aside we did have a fab weekend. Spending time with Tim and Andy and Michael and Andrew and Gary and Nau and Fabio and David was great. We had nice meals out, great fun bar hopping and of course the parade was simply brilliant. Naturally I took loads of snaps.

Brighton Pride: The hotel saga...

This weekend just gone Stu and I went down to Brighton Pride. We had a lovely time all told but it wasn't without it's ups and downs. More later about the ups but first let me tell you about the main down. Our hotel. The afternoon journey down to Brighton started with only a slight niggle. We missed our train from London Victoria. No biggy really. We just took the next fast train, got off at Hove and walked along the front to our hotel in Brighton proper. Well, I say 'hotel'. The place was without doubt the shittiest place I had ever set foot in. Yes, I name and shame you The Brighton Charter Hotel. It was run down, there were no staff that we could find. "Call in at the bar next door" the sign said. We did. Rude dismissive barman called over some woman who proceeded to fleece us for the full room rate up-front (one hundred and forty eight pounds if you please) and take a fifty pound (yes, fifty pounds) deposit for the key. Well, really! They didn't actually show us up to the room. We found it on the first floor overlooking the street. Small. Miserable. Dirty. Smelly. Noisy. Rusty metalwork in sink and shower. Television held together with sellotape. Mouldy wall paper coming off the walls. Missing light bulbs. Twin beds that had all their springs poking through. A Yale lock on the door that had just a single loose screw in it so the door could be pushed open even when it was 'locked'. We almost turned on our heels and left. Almost. We debated long and hard and decided that we would give it a chance. God knows why we did. Maybe we're just not born complainers.

 Anyway later that night when we returned to our room we had steeled ourselves for the worst. We had a few drinks, we both look a Valium and some painkillers and tried to settle down for the night. Needless to say, neither of us slept. To say the beds were uncomfortable is an insult to the word 'uncomfortable'. Needless to say we checked out first thing the very next day. Saturday morning we found a lovely hotel just opposite; The Queens Hotel. OK, it was one hundred and seventy quid for just the one night but it was worth it. Polite staff, sea view and everything. My advice: look before you book.

Brighton Pride...

We are heading down to Brighton later on today to stay for the weekend. 

Because it's Brighton Pride. Yay!

Do Elephants Really Have Long Memories?
In 1986, Mkele Mbembe was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Northwestern University. On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed, so Mbembe approached it very carefully.

He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant's foot and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it. As carefully and as gently as he could, Mbembe worked the wood out with his hunting knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot.

The elephant turned to face the man, and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments. Mbembe stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away. Mbembe never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.

Twenty years later, Mbembe was walking through the Chicago Zoo with his teenaged son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Mbembe and his son Tapu were standing. The large bull elephant stared at Mbembe, lifted its front foot off the ground, and then put it down. The elephant did this several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man.

Remembering the encounter in 1986, Mbembe couldn't help wonder if this was the same elephant.

Mbembe summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder. The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Mbembe's legs and slammed him against the railing, killing him instantly.

Probably wasn't the same elephant.

[Thanks for this heart warming story Simon]

Jonny Woo's Night of a Thousand Jay Astons...
Last night Andy got us tickets at the Soho Theatre to go see Jonny Woo's Night of a Thousand Jay Astons a drag lip synch musical about the alleged slutty one from Bucks Fizz (quite some title I think you'll agree).

JWNOATJAADLSMATASOFBZ has been around since last year and though it started as a straight musical about all of Bucks Fizz it soon found it's natural centre - femme fatale Jay Aston. As drag performance artist Jonny Woo says himself, "Jay wrote the book on how to pout. She didn't smile in a single Bucks Fizz photograph."

Although the show is based on fact it takes quite a few liberties along the way. Best though are the dance moves and all those Bucks Fizz classics; Run For Your Life, Land Of Make Believe, If You Can't Stand The Heat, Now Those Days Are Gone, When We Were Young and of course the fabulous Making Your Mind Up (complete with skirt ripping).

A great, but at fifty minutes let's not forget short, night out.

Ben's 40th Birthday...

It's Ben's 40th today - so happy birthday, fella. But it was on Sunday he had his big party. He held it at the Comedy Cafe down in Shoreditch and it was a right old laugh. Martin was DJing and the band Sound Of The Suburbs were playing - live rock karaoke dontcha know. All the lovelies were there to help Ben celebrate his middle-age; Sarah, Christopher, Katrina, Jamie and Nick. Plus a few celebs too; his cousin Martin Freeman, Ed Byrne and Dara O'Briain to name but three.

Roger and Kevin's Wedding...

On Saturday Roger and Kevin got hitched at Islington Town Hall. It was a lovely ceremony, lovely readings and lovely people. It was a lovely reception at The Green afterwards, a lovely glass of Pimms waited for us, there were lovely balloons, a lovely free bar, lovely food and a lovely cake. It was simply a lovely day. And I got a chance to pull the key-gag on Roger. Tee hee.

Roger's Stag Night...

Roger and Kevin are getting hitched on Saturday so a Stag Night was in order for Roger. On Thursday we went bowling at Rowan's in Finsbury Park. Vicky was the organiser - a role that she was born to - arranging for the lanes, the entry and little presents. Fab. I took a few snaps below.

Brain Teaser Answer...
Janet is five years old. Next year she will be six, twice the age she was two years ago when she was three.

Brain Teaser...
When she is one year older than she is now, Janet will be twice as old as she was two years ago. How old is Janet?

The Producers...
Last night I went tout seul to see super-group The Producers perform at the Jazz Cafe in Camden ritzy Parkway.

The Producers are Trevor Horn, Lol Crème, Stephen Lipson, Chris Braide and Ash Soan. The night was mainly a showcase for their new CD, Studio 1, but there were plenty of their collective oeuvre. Peppered with lots of onstage banter.

The set list was:
01. Two Tribes (with that driving thrusting bass)
02. You And I (newie - a la PSB/Robbie)
03. Right Time (newie - a sweet ballad)
04. Barking Up The Right Tree (new single - plinking, plonking pop)
05. Music from Bel Air (newie - about his 'small' 7 bedroom house in Bel Air)
06. Rubber Bullets (10cc - a test tube full according to Jonathan King)
07. Your Life (newie - atmospheric very PSB, very YES, bit like 'This Is You Life')
08. If I Was Invisible (Chris Braide penned song originally for American Idol Clay Aiken)
09. Freeway (newie - a la Buggles' Clean, Clean)
10. Man on the Moon (newie - sweet little Let's Go Fly A Kite power ballad)
11. Elvis In Vegas / Looking For Love (newie - escort agency ditty a la Buggles' I Love You Miss Robot...)
12. I'm Not In Love (semenal seminal 10cc hit)
13. Video Killed The Radio Star (Buggles crowd pleaser)
14. Slave To The Rhythm (encore - with guest vocalist being... wait for it... "Ladies and Gentleman..." "Heeeeere's... Tina!" Yes, Miss Tina Charles! The woman we all Love to Love - and the original 'doo, do-do-do, doo' vocalist on Video Killed the Radio Star dontcha know?)
And what a great way to end the set. The session musicians had spoken.

Incidentally, the other one from 10cc (no, not Godley, the one with the moon face) was there - talking loudly during the songs. Clot.

And Trevor Horn's family are there too - I steered clear of his son. Obviously.

A fun night. Who knew I could have so much fun by myself? Well, me and 200 other Trevor Horn fans (Hornies?).

Potter Potty...
The queues leading up to Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows going on the sale at midnight last Friday night in the West End were bonkers. Perhaps wisely we just stared in the window at midnight rather than venturing into the scrum. But selling 11m books in 24 hours is pretty impressive. But perhaps not quite 11m readers in 24 hours though. I bought two. Amazon didn't deliver my preordered one until Monday so I bought a backup one in Salisbury's on Saturday.

Evolution is a theory, not a fact...
The first sticker is real. The others just take the piss.

London Gay Men's Chorus...
Andy treated Stu and I to a trip to the Cadogan Hall on Friday to see the London Gay Men's Chorus.

They were performing a show they called Bad Boys consisting of songs by Wham!, Gloria Estefan, Carl Orff, Queen, James Bond songs, The Eagles, Carmen and Jerry Springer - The Opera etc. Great fun.

Brain Teaser Answer...
After 280 seconds, the Big Wheel would have gone round exactly 28 times, the Rotator would have gone round exactly 35 times and the Twirler would have gone round exactly 40 times.

This happens because 280 is exactly divisible by 10, 8 and 7; it is also the smallest number with that property. So they were in line again after 280 seconds, or 4 minutes 40 seconds.

Servalan...
Servalan has a blog.

Brain Teaser...
Janey started on the Big Wheel at the same moment that Barry started on the Twirler and Sheila started on the Rotator. The Big Wheel went round once every ten seconds, the Rotator once every eight seconds and the Twirler once every seven seconds.

If all three children started at the bottom of their respective rides, how long would it have been before they were in line with each other again at the bottom of each ride?

And the Winner is...
Dear Auntie Beeb,
Can I have my licence fee back please?
Thank you.

Mario Party 8...
My copy of Mario Party 8 for the Wii dropped through the letter box last week. Imagine my surprise when I discover that Nintendo has pulled the game because it contains offensive language. Specifically, a blue wizard called Kamek says: "Magikoopa magic! Turn the train spastic! Make this ticket tragic!" And sure enough - here's the proof.

Barnet 0-2 Arsenal...
It was a friendly last Saturday but Paul and I thought we'd make the trek up the Northern Line anyway. We won and Barnet's ground is on a slope. I shall say no more.

BBC Prom 5...
Last night Stu and I went to the Royal Albert Hall to see the fifth of the BBC Proms 2007.

First was Sam Hayden's Substratum (a BBC commissioned world premiere, dontcha know). And to be honest it was 15 minutes of unlistenable cacophony. Like putting a 50 piece orchestra in a large bag and pushing it down the stairs.

Then came Bernstein's Symphony No. 2, The Age of Anxiety. 36 minutes of melodious joy. Great fun.

After the interval came Ives's Symphony No. 4. Bit of a mess to be honest. A bit like two player-pianos having a bare-knuckle fight behind the circus carivans for half an hour with a 90 strong orchestra and 130 strong choir egging them on from the sidelines.

Easy Star All-Stars...
Last night Simon, Stu and I went to the Jazz Cafe in Camden Town's ritzy Parkway to see reggae outfit the Easy Star All-Stars.

They performed various of their hits but drew mainly from from their seminal work Dub Side Of The Moon (a complete reggae reworking of Pink Floyd's Dark Side Of The Moon) and their newer piece, Radiodread (the reggae treatment given to Radiohead's OK Computer).

The masterminds behind Easy Star All-Stars are Michael Goldwasser (a.k.a. Michael G), his production partner Victor Axelrod (a.k.a. Ticklah), and his two Easy Star label partners Eric Smith and Lem Oppenheimer. This New York reggae band are in fact a loose collective with a rotating line-up. Last night there were eight of them on a stage and they did a pretty good job of keeping us entertained. I barely stopped dancing. Strongly recommended.

Picnic...

Yesterday Tim and Andy organised their annual picnic - this year in Regent's Park. Sadly, after a promising start the weather rather let us down and it was bit of a wash out. We had fun retiring to the Black Cap to dry out though. 

Gay Film Night...
Vue in Islington is having a four-hour Gay Film Night tonight: showing Mysterious Skin and Shortbus back-to-back. Good for them.

Harry Potter and The Order of the Phoenix...
James and I went to see the HPATOOTP this morning. At 9:30am in fact. We thought we might be fighting off the screaming hordes of kids bunking off school but in fact there were just twelve of us in the cinema.

The film was fab. Best of the five so far; dark, moody, scary, moving and really rather wonderful. Go see.

Brain teaser answer...
1 DJ Skinf Lint 2 red
2 DJ Park'n Ride 3 yellow
3 DJ Slam Dunk 1 green
4 DJ Jam Jar 4 blue

Brain teaser...
During a recent music festival, four DJs entered the mixing contest. Each wore a number, either 1, 2, 3 or 4 and their decks were different colours. DJ Skinf Lint came first, and only one DJ wore the same number as the position he finished in. DJ Slam Dunk wore number 1. The DJ who wore number 2 had a red deck and DJ Jam Jar didn't have a yellow deck. The DJ who came last had a blue deck. DJ Park'n Ride beat DJ Slam Dunk. The DJ who wore number 1 had a green deck and the DJ who came second wore number 3. Can you determine who came where, which number they wore and the colour of their deck?

Pam Ann in Virgin Stewardesses...
Pam Ann's own take on the M&S adverts (Not work friendly!)
[Thanks Stu]

BBC, ITV, Channel 4 plan single broadband TV player...
UK terrestrial broadcasters are supposedly in talks to establish a single platform for on-demand TV to broadband devices. Called Project Kangaroo it will do the equivalent for broadband what Freeview did for terrestial telly. And three cheers say I.

Matthew Bourne: The Car Man...

Last night Stu and I went to the Sadler's Wells to see a restaging of Matthew Bourne’s The Car Man. The action takes place in and around a garage in the fictional, vaguely Western, small town of Harmony, USA, population 375. That number will go down before the night is over.

After their hard day at work the car mechanics at the garage go upstairs and take a rather revealing communal shower, accompanied by Bizet’s famous Toreador Song. This is only the first of a host of musical jokes in a performance that can be as funny as it is moving. The action really shifts up a gear though when a handsome drifter called Luca turns up at the garage - for he is both the Car Man of the title and the Carmen of the plot.

The Car Man is a theatrical tour de force: fast, funny, physical, sexy and extremely violent. Part ballet, part modern dance and a whole lot of Broadway Bourne’s choreography is intensely physical and full of graphic sexuality. Even we were a little taken a back at the amount of gay sex in it. But then we shouldn't have been surprised after seeing Swan Lake.

Go see.

Marc Almond is 50...
Last night Stu, Davie, Paul, David and I all went to the Shepherd's Bush Empire to see Marc Almond perform. And what a show it was. Back on form after his near-fatal accident Marc was obviously enjoying himself from start to finish. Sure there were the forgotten lines, sure there was the minor tantrum during What Makes A Man A Man? (when isn't there?) and sure he wasn't always spot on with his set list choices. But boy did he put on a good show. There were no snazzy lights, no swelling orchestra and no go-go boys. Just Marc doing what he does best. Singing.

He plundered his back catalogue fairly thoroughly; my own personal golden nuggets were Tears Run Rings, Ruby Red, My Hand Over My Heart and his newy Redeem Me (Beauty Will Redeem The World). Of course the sing-a-long songs were there too towards the end and I think his fans have earned the right to join him in Say Hello, Wave Goodbye and Tainted Love on this special occasion.

And hardcore fans there were. Everywhere. The crowd was packed full of people I knew from way back when - some I'd not seen in 20 years or more and others I'd only met at Marc gigs in such far flung places at Bremmen and Istanbul.

It really was like being at a party. A birthday party. A 50th birthday party. Of a survivor. A survivor that gives me goose bumps when I see him perform live. He's back on form and back in my heart. I love you Marc. Happy Birthday.

New Wheels On The Block...
Wheelchair boy band - stick with it, it gets really good.

Torchwood Goes to CERN...
Torchwood's Captain Jack has been sighted at CERN's Large Hadron Collider. OK, it's a publicity stunt but good to see John Barrowman with a hard (hat) on. Missus.

You're Kidding...
Guess who is advertising the new Nintendo DS Brain Training game?