tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2201446.post113878326724150643..comments2024-03-27T09:14:54.556+00:00Comments on overyourhead: overyourheadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15348978597139506200noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2201446.post-1138985748596965142006-02-03T16:55:00.000+00:002006-02-03T16:55:00.000+00:00"...looking and feeling like a lemon"But not, God ..."...looking and feeling like a lemon"<BR/><BR/>But not, God forbid, a bitter lemon.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2201446.post-1138887224133098472006-02-02T13:33:00.000+00:002006-02-02T13:33:00.000+00:00Shitty thing to happen. But you should at least c...Shitty thing to happen. <BR/><BR/>But you should at least call to hear what happened....a genuine misunderstanding is possible, no matter how improbable. <BR/><BR/>If he makes excuses that seem implausible then you need to assess the situation...but be honest with yourself. For example, if he says "Well, I only said I might pop in if my friends were going there, it wasnt a date witgh you as such!" (possible...and you took that as a firm "date" - this has happened to me!) or "I thought you were going to be there anyway, if I went or not" etc...then maybe you were the one putting too much into it...(Im not saying you were!). <BR/><BR/>I mean, DID you speak and confirm the date/time/place and made sure he knew your mobile number the day before, for example? Its always a good thing to do if (Im guessing) it was a Gaydar date. Sometimes people genuinely forget or misunderstand... and sometimes people get cold feet for genuine, non-bastard reasons. And if you have had positive contact the day before and confirmed everything then he really has no excuse not to show or call you. <BR/><BR/>You can be all bitter and cynical or you can do something about it. Remember that next time!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2201446.post-1138811968311089052006-02-01T16:39:00.000+00:002006-02-01T16:39:00.000+00:00Thanks for all your comments. Well, I have to say ...Thanks for all your comments. <BR/><BR/>Well, I have to say last night I was rather left with the feeling "serves me right for getting my hopes up". Which I guess is a low self-esteem issue on my part. Something to work on methinks.<BR/><BR/>Part of me doesn't even want to hear from him again actually. Why? Because I fear that *he* is going to have a go at *me* ("you got the place wrong"/"you got the time wrong"/"you didn't double check first" or whatever the excuse is going to be). I guess this is fear of confrontation on my part. Something else to work on.overyourheadhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15348978597139506200noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2201446.post-1138811263384545542006-02-01T16:27:00.000+00:002006-02-01T16:27:00.000+00:00Sorry to hear that! Alan and Dave above both have ...Sorry to hear that! Alan and Dave above both have wise words. Personally I think the amount of time you wait could be expressed as an equation involving; how much you want the person to arrive; your current level of self esteem; how quickly you know you could meet up with a friend and what's on TV. There is NO excuse for not getting in touch. A while ago I would have said 'just walk away' but now I would be inclined to get in touch. Without being aggressive I think it's important to let someone know when they've had an impact - positive or negative. You've certainly touched a nerve with at least three of us. This could run and run!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2201446.post-1138792118582550932006-02-01T11:08:00.000+00:002006-02-01T11:08:00.000+00:00That sucks. You waited plenty long (I say 30 minu...That sucks. You waited plenty long (I say 30 minutes tops) but I wouldn't bother calling - he should definitely be calling to apologise (and would if it was a misunderstanding or unfortunate incapacitation on his part). That happened to me once, but the misunderstanding/apology was made and I dated the guy for 6 months. Chin up!dave_phttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03652304117011194045noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2201446.post-1138791386201906032006-02-01T10:56:00.000+00:002006-02-01T10:56:00.000+00:00In this day and age of easy and instant communicat...In this day and age of easy and instant communication, there is nearly no reason to stand someone up, and <I>absolutely no reason</I> not to apologise afterward.<BR/><BR/>Unless, of course, you're a uncaring self-centred shit; which unfortunately seems to be a common thing for (available) gay men. <BR/><BR/>It saddens me immensely that (perhaps) the herd instict - the fear of being "different" again and from that, the objectification of the gay man - in looks, in attitude, in actions - has led them to treat each other like, well, objects. Not other people.<BR/><BR/>Of course, there are gay men out there who aren't like this. Unfortunately, they tend to be partnered with <I>other</I> gay men who aren't like this, reducing the pool of decent guys for the rest of us. Bastards!<BR/><BR/>I'm 37, of average build and looks, and have been banging up against this exact problem for ten years now. I've had enough. I'm off to university next year to do some<I>thing</I> that I love, rather than waste any more time on some<I>one</I> I could love. <BR/><BR/>Life's too short IMO to spend any of it wading through tossers by choice. What happens, happens.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com