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Crawling through technology, life and love Contact me: hotmail gmail home 
Listening: 
Playing: Donkey Kong Jet Racing - Wii iTuning: Podcasts - Russell Brand, Chris Moyles and Mark Kermode Reading: The End of Mr. Y - Scarlett Thomas Bits and Bobs: Wish List Gerry's Lyrics Pop Quiz Minipops Quiz Sites I like: Marc Almond Top 40 Singles News IMdb The Register Hacks Sainsbury's Recent GBlogs Arsenal FC Some blogs I enjoy: bboyblues2000 bitful blogadoon brainsluice chig groc minkered scally sparky troubled diva Books recently read: I Never Knew That About London - Christopher Winn The Arsenal Miscellany - Adam Gold Young Hearts Run Free: The Real Story of the 1970s - Dave Haslam Magical Thinking - Augusten Burroughs Veronika Decides To Die - Paulo Coelho Time Out Guide - Amsterdam Lillian's Story - Kate Grenville The God Delusion - Richard Dawkins Schott's Original Miscellany - Ben Schott Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - J K Rowling A Gay History Of Britain - Matt Cook Time Out Guide to Madrid Time Out Guide to New York Kingdom Come - J. G. Ballard The Hours - Michael Cunningham Mutants - Aramand Marie Leroi A Young Man's Passage - Julian Clary Growing Pains - Billie Piper The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath Wild Swans - Jung Chang Highbury: The Story of Arsenal N.5 - Jon Spurling Red Carpets and Other Banana Skins - Rupert Everett Affinity - Sarah Waters Lighthousekeeping - Jeanette Winterson Tipping The Velvet - Sarah Waters The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini Of Human Bondage - W Somerset Maugham Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier Lucky Man - Michael J Fox Labyrinth - Kate Mosse Fingersmith - Sarah Waters The Night Watch - Sarah Waters The Pedant's Revolt - Andrea Barham The Republic Of Trees - Sam Taylor Written On tbe Body - Jeanette Winterson Untold Stories - Alan Bennett The Plot Against America - Philip Roth Read All About It - Max Clifford The Folding Star - Alan Hollinghurst Thursbitch - Alan Garner Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim - David Sedaris Staying Alive - Matt Beaumont The Bookseller Of Kabul - Asne Seierstad Harry Potter and The Half-Blood Prince - J K Rowling A Short History Of Nearly Everything - Bill Bryson Count Karlstein - Philip Pullman The Shadow Of The Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon The Handmaid's Tale - Margaret Atwood The Spell - Alan Hollinghurst The Double Life Of Daniel Glick - Maurice Caldera The Smoking Diaries - Simon Gray Straight- Boy George Digital Fortress - Dan Brown Deception Point - Dan Brown The Ladies No. 1 Detective Agency - Alexander McCall Smith Angels and Demons - Dan Brown Sydney - Time Out Guide Oryx and Crake - Margaret Atwood Eleanor Rigby - Douglas Coupland The Scarecrow and His Servant - Philip Pullman Tha Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown The Perks Of Being A Wallflower - Stephen Chbosky Planet Simpson - Chris Turner The Line Of Beauty - Alan Hollinghurst Barcelona - Time Out Guide The Closed Circle - Jonathan Coe The Clerkenwell Tales - Peter Ackroyd Copenhagen - TimeOut Guide The Butterfly Tattoo - Philip Pullman The Broken Bridge - Philip Pullman In Search of the Pleasure Palace - Marc Almond Brick Lane - Monica Ali Vernon God Little - DBC Pierre Last Exit To Brooklyn - Hubert Selby Jr You Shall Know Our Velocity - Dave Eggers Touching The Void - Joe Simpson Life Of Pi - Yann Martel Istanbul - Time Out Guide Millennium People - J G Ballard The Duchess Who Wouldn't Sit Down - Jesse Browner Hey Nostradamus! - Douglas Coupland Eats, Shoots and Leaves - Lynne Truss The Wind-up Bird Chronicle - Haruki Murakami Our Man In Havana - Graham Greene The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time - Mark Haddon Lyra's Oxford - Philip Pullman Doran - Will Self Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold Middlesex - Jeffrey Eugenides the book, the film, the t-shirt - matt beaumont High Society - Ben Elton Man And Wife - Tony Parsons I Was A Rat - Philip Pullman Harry Potter: The Order of the Phoenix - J R Rowling Great Apes - Will Self Barrel Fever - David Sedaris Round Ireland With A Fridge - Tony Hawkes Close Range - Annie Proux The Third Way - Anthony Giddens dot.con - John Cassidy The Salmon of Doubt - Douglas Adams One Hit Wonderland - Tony Hawkes The Thief Lord - Cornelia Funke The Corrections - Jonathan Franzen The Cloud Sketcher - Richard Rayner Keane: the Autobiography - Roy Keane A Wasteland of Strangers - Bill Pronzini The English - Jeremy Paxman How to Lose Friends and Alienate People - Toby Young Dead Famous - Ben Elton The Amber Spyglass - Phillip Pullman (again) The Subtle Knife - Phillip Pullman (again) Northern Lights - Phillip Pullman (again) The Bear and The Dragon - Tom Clancy 101 Reykjavik - Hallgrimur Helgason Forward The Foundation - Isaac Asimov Carter Beats The Devil - Glen David Gold The Tin Princess - Philip Pullman Atonement - Ian McEwan The Tiger In The Well - Philip Pullman The Rotters Club - Jonathan Coe Generation X - Douglas Copeland Perfume - Patrick Suskind All Families Are Psychotic - Douglas Coupland The Shadow In The North - Phillip Pullman No Logon - Naomi Klein The Dirt - Motley Crue Miss Wyoming - Douglas Coupland The Amber Spyglass - Phillip Pullman The Subtle Knife - Phillip Pullman Northern Lights - Phillip Pullman The Ruby in the Smoke - Phillip Pullman The Sandman - Miles Gibson Blood and Gold: The Vampire Marius - Anne Rice The Actrocity Exhibition - J G Ballard Shameless - Paul Burston Sing Out! - Boze Hadleigh Brilliant Orange - David Winner New Boy - William Sutcliffe London - Peter Ackroyd Wonder Boys - Michael Chabon One For My Baby - Tony Parsons How To Be Good - Nick Hornby White Teeth - Zadie Smith Lust - Geoff Ryman Tulip Fever - Deborah Moggach Dead Souls - Ian Rankin The House Of Sleep - Jonathan Coe A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius - Dave Eggers What a carve up! - Jonathan Coe The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay - Michael Chabon The Grapes Of Wrath - John Steinbeck Heartwood - James Lee Burke Cryptonomicon - Neal Stephenson Man and Boy - Tony Parsons The Map Of Love - Ahdaf Soueif e - Matt Beaumont The e Before Christmas - Matt Beaumont  
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Saturday, March 30, 2002
QM dead...
Her Majesty, the Queen Mother died in her sleep today at 3:15pm. She was 101 years old. RIP, you likeable old bird.
Arsenal vs Sunderland...
I'm sitting here - feeling bored. Too sick to concentrate on anything (e.g. reading or even watching a video or TV) so I'm listening to Arsenal play at home instead - streaming from their web site. And a great match it is too. 3 - 0 to the Gunners by half time. Something to smile about at least (you can tell I'm not a good patient!)
Still ill...
Great. It's Easter. The sun is shining. Four days off work. And I'm still ill. Sore throat, chest infection and fever. At least I'm out of bed today so I can sit and watch TV at least. I'm sick and tired - of being sick and tired. Friday, March 29, 2002
I'm ill...
I've been in bed since yesterday with a chest infection. Argh! Thursday, March 28, 2002
Taboo’s a hit, by George…
 Last night Alex, Ben, Bryn, Chris, Marky and I went to see Boy George's new musical Taboo at the Venue. I’d been wanting to go for some time and thanks to Bryn coming over from San Francisco we had the perfect excuse. Ben had kindly booked the tickets and very good ones they were too (C&D 14-16). We were almost sitting on the stage. The Venue auditorium is completely open plan so the actors performed, sang and danced in and around you which really made you feel part of the night club.
The show itself was sensational. Witty, outrageous and lyrical. The cast were exceptional - especially Euan Morton (Boy George), Mark McGee (Marilyn) and Drew Jaymson (Steve Strange). Surprisingly the show stealer wasn’t Matt Lucas (Leigh Bowery) despite his outrageous costumes and songs (like Ich Bin Kunst!) but actually Paul Baker (Philip Salon). Being able to step out of the performance and interact with the audience meant he acted as a kind of Greek Chorus at times that provided much amusement (talking to a portly couple in the audience “Hello, you two. You must have a big fridge!”) and helped accelerate the plot when needed. Matt Lucas attempts at doing the same were less successful as you were laughing at him not with him. The story itself was standard boy meets girl stuff (avoiding some of the let’s-make-it-really-gay mistakes of Closer To Heaven) around which the flamboyantly dressed fame and fashion obsessed bitches circulated - dropping their acid comments and casting their evil spells. It all rang so true! Apparently the ending was made a bit more upbeat after initial audience feedback in the previews. Boy George 16 new songs are in equal measure funny, moving and sing/clap along. He’s lost none of his touch to write a good pop tune. Mixed in with these new songs are some of Culture Club’s classics, a hilarious version of Visage's Fade to Grey and a bit of Human League’s Don’t You Want Me? I picked up a mini-LP of four of these tracks on the way out and have been playing it all morning. The cast album should be out soon. I would urge you to go and see the show. It's well worth it. We're already planning our next visit. Oh, and on the star spotting front, we saw Paul Keating in the audience and in the bar afterwards. I struggled to find something nice to say though (seeing as Closer... was so crap). Only afterwards did it occur to me to have praised him for The Rose and the Ring we saw at Christmas. D'oh! Wednesday, March 27, 2002
I love my phone...
 I've got a really natty phone. An Ericsson R380s. What I most like about it is you can scribble notes on it when you're on the move, you can sync everything (contacts, calander, notes) with Outlook and you can blog from it. Well, it turns out there's something else I like about it too. Ericsson continually develop the software that runs their phones and a new version of this software comes out every couple of months or so. So this afternoon I'm off to my nearest Sony-Ericsson service point to get my phone software 'upgraded'. I wonder what new features they've added this time?
Sleep sex...
Imagine awaking in the middle of the night to find your partner trying to make love to you - while they are sound asleep (chance would be a fine thing!) "Sleep sex" is a term coined by US scientists to describe the phenomenon, which can cause people to commit sexual acts on themselves or their partners - while asleep. This shocking news comes from the BBC. Actually sleep has been getting as bit of a bad press recently. It appears that sleep can be bad for you, sleep can make you depressed and sleep can kill you. So I guess the Sleep Marketing Board needed a bit of good PR. Let's face it, no-one could really delight in the fact that sleep can teach babies things. Do you know any good sleep stories?
The Internet: Volume One...
Wanna see your web site preserved for all time in The British Library? The Digital Preservation Society are trying to do just that. Only 100 sites are archived at the moment but 10,000 are planned.
The Amazing Retro Webmonkeys…
Last night’s Pop Quiz was a lot of fun, though we didn't win. We got a respectable 16½ out of 21. The theme was one hit wonders i.e. artists who had had just one top 75 chart entry. See how well you do and leave your answers in the comments. 01. The instrumental round kicked off with a hit called Nut Rocker. Who was the artist? 02. The every popular Popcorn was next. Who had the hit with that? 03. Back in 1984 a band called Doop had a hit. But what was their hit called? 04. The 1970s round was next. What was the name of the song and the artist who had a hit with the lyrics, “you can have it with a buzz, you can have it with a ring and if you really want it you can have a ding-a-ling”. 05. What was the name of the song and the artist who had a hit with the lyrics, “What's he like, Mavis ? He’s a real tasty, geezer”. 06. Who had a hit with Ring My Bell? 07. Who took a cover version of a Norman Greenbaum song to the top of the charts in 1986? 08. Who covered Scott English’s Brandy but subtly changed the title? 09. Who had a number one hit with Fire in 1968? 10. Urban Spaceman was a hit for who? And who was the famous producer? 11. Just Say No got to number five in 1986. Why was it recorded? (three key elements needed) 12. What was Jilted John’s real name? 13. a) Who had a hit with Dance Hall Days? b) Tarzan Boy? 14. a) Who had a hit with The Politics of Dancing? b) Together We are Beautiful? 15. Who is the odd one out (they had more than one hit) a) Minnie Riperton Loving You, b) Wild Cherry Play That Funky Music White Boy, c) I Eat Cannibals Toto Coelo 16. Whose 2nd hit was called Success? (but it wasn't one!) 17. Who had a hit in the 1990s with I Touch Myself? 18. Who had a hit with a song inspired by and called Tetris? 19. Paul Henry had a hit in 1978. What TV show did he come from? 20. What TV show did the singer Neil come from? Tuesday, March 26, 2002
Wine tasting...
Last Saturday I got a group of us together to go wine tasting at Vinopolis. Fun was had I think. Click on any of the thumnails below to see a larger version of the picture.    
   
  
Rules for Cats to Live By...
It's almost a year since my cat, Oliver died. And there isn't a day goes by when I don't think of him. But this made me smile. Rules for Cats to Live By BATHROOMS: Always accompany guests to the bathroom. It is not necessary to do anything. Just sit and stare. DOORS: Do not allow any closed doors in any room. To get door open, stand on hind legs and hammer with forepaws. Once door is opened, it is not necessary to use it. After you have ordered an "outside" door opened, stand halfway in and out and think about several things. This is particularly important during very cold weather, rain, snow, or mosquito season. CHAIRS AND RUGS: If you have to throw up, get to a chair quickly. If you cannot manage in time, get to an Oriental rug. If there is no Oriental rug, shag is good. When throwing up on the carpet, make sure you back up so it is as long as a humans bare foot. HAMPERING: If one of your humans is engaged in some activity and the other is idle, stay with the busy one. This is called "helping," otherwise known as "hampering." Following are the rules for "hampering:" 1) When supervising cooking, sit just behind the left heel of the cook. You cannot be seen and thereby stand a better chance of being stepped on and then picked up and comforted. 2) For book readers, get in close under the chin, between eyes and book, unless you can lie across the book itself. 3) For paperwork, lie on the work in the most appropriate manner so as to obscure as much of the work as possible or at least. Pretend to doze, but every so often reach out and slap the pencil or pen. 4) For people paying bills or working on income taxes or Christmas cards, keep in mind the aim: to hamper! First, sit on the paper being worked on. When dislodged, watch sadly from the side of the table. When activity proceeds nicely, roll around on the papers, scattering them to the best of your ability. After being removed for the second time, push pens, pencils, and erasers off the table, one at a time. 5) When a human is holding the newspaper in front of him/her, be sure to jump on the back of the paper. Humans love to jump. 6) When human is working at computer, jump up on desk, walk across keyboard, bat at mouse pointer on screen and then lay in human's lap across arms, hampering typing in progress. WALKING: As often as possible, dart quickly and as close as possible in front of the human, especially: on stairs, when they have something in their arms, in the dark, and when they first get up in the morning. This will help their coordination skills. BEDTIME: Always sleep on the human at night so he/she cannot move around. LITTER BOX: When using the litter box, be sure to kick as much litter out of the box as possible. Humans love the feel of kitty litter between their toes. HIDING: Every now and then, hide in a place where the humans cannot find you. Do not come out for three to four hours under any circumstances. This will cause the humans to panic (which they love) thinking that you have run away or are lost. Once you do come out, the humans will cover you with love and kisses and you will probably get a treat. ONE LAST THOUGHT: Whenever possible, get close to a human, especially their face, turn around, and present your butt to them. Humans love this, so do it often. And don't forget guests. [Thanks to Roger who knew I'd love this]
Acid Mothers Temple…
 Next Friday the Acid Mothers Temple are playing live to a screening of the late 80s cult Manga masterpiece The Legend Of The Overfiend at the Royal Festival Hall.
Overfiend is one of my favourite anime films and I love live music in films so I’m thinking of going. I don’t know too much about Acid Mothers Temple though but after reading the blurb I think I’ll like them. Tokyo's psychedelic earth worshippers Acid Mothers Temple perform live a score to the cult, X certificate Japanese Manga classic "Urotsukidji - Legend of the Overfiend". The perfect accompaniment to Hideki Takayama's 18 certificate 108 minute long animated classic. Acid Mothers Temple unleash a lethal concoction of guitar solos, Jazz inspired improvisation and Krautrock-like noise to one of cinema's darkest fantasies. Graphic sex, demon-induced gore and supernatural shenanigans make for a night of deliciously uncensored hardcore horror. Take your warning. Adults only. If you fancy coming too let me know. Monday, March 25, 2002
Too much sleep...
Is there such a thing as too much sleep? I went to bed at 10:30 last night sober as a judge and slept right through to wake up at 8am this morning feeling like shit. Arrgggh. Sunday, March 24, 2002
In at #7...
After almost four years wait and a £1m video George Michael has just scraped in at number seven in this week's chart. Poor lamb. Friday, March 22, 2002
Fanatic...
Do you have any bands that you would buy their music no matter what they put out? You have to buy every last single, every last remix, every last track no matter how crap? I have. In the past in used to be acts like Donna Summer, Bananarama, (early) Kylie, The Communards, Talking Heads, Kim Wilde, Erasure, Frankie Goes To Hollywood and Steps (sniff). I would religiously buy every single and album they put out - long past their sell by dates I can tell you. Thankfully I've managed to let most of them go now. I have disposed of nearly all my vinyl and have severely cut back on my CD purchasing. But still I can't not buy anything put out by certain artists. Certain bands just make me want to rush to the store. These are (in no particular order): Laurie Anderson Soft Cell Marc Almond Pet Shop Boys Depeche Mode Madonna George Michael Brian Eno I need to have everything they release. And I have boxes of CDs in my attic to prove it. So what did I rush to buy this lunchtime from HMV (all out this week)? - Two George Michael singles - both remixes of Freeek!. - One Marilyn Manson cover of Tainted Love - bizarrely because I love the Soft Cell version so much. - Three Pet Shop Boys singles - two remixes and the DVD single of Home and Dry. I shall probably play them just once. If that.
Nervous...
Thank you to those of you who have been asking about my hospital visit a couple of weeks ago. The blood tests are back and they all seem OK. The doctor thinks the nightly leg cramps and glove and stocking neuropathy must be some nervous system disorder. So I now have to go an see a neurologist. A three week wait. Ho hum.
Teddy Borg...
What you get when you cross a networking switch with a teddy bear? Why Teddy Borg, of course. 
Cute and fuzzy teddy bear. Bored MIT students. An idle weekend. Spare network equipment. When all of these things come together, Teddy Borg is born. Look over the pictorial journey from average stuffed animal to network appliance.
IQ Test...
When Alfred Binet, the French psychologist, started to develop intelligence tests in 1904 he had no idea what he had started. What was later to become the Intelligence Quotient (IQ) tests are really only applicable to children. But it doesn't stop the rest of us wanting to have a go. The BBC is running a live National IQ Test one Saturday night next month after it's huge popularity on European TV. By way of training here are some straightforward IQ questions to get you in the mood (there are no trick answers). Let me know how well you do. 01. Which one of the following is least like the other four? Celery - Lettuce - Onion - Grape - Asparagus 02. Emily is four years old. Her big sister Amy is three times as old as Emily. How old will Amy be when she is twice as old as Emily? 03. Bowl is to cereal as envelope is to? Mailman - Stamp - Letter - Mailbox - Mailbag 04. What would the next number be? 2...3...5...8...12...17...?? 05. WOLF to to FLOW as 8526 is to: 2856 - 6258 - 5862 - 5682 - 6852 06. If you rearrange the letters UGNAIA, you have the name of: a river - a planet - a city - an animal - a plant? 07. Niece is to nephew as brother is to: Cousin - Aunt - Mother - Daughter - Sister 08. Let's say that the following arguments are true: Some gatekeepers are warriors Some warriors are cowards Therefore, we can conclude that some gatekeepers must be cowards. Is this conclusion true or false? 09. That would be the next number in this series: 15...12...13...10...11...8...?? 10. Which of the following five is least like the other four? Smile - Grin - Frown - Touch - Sneer Thursday, March 21, 2002
For all you ex-Steps fans...
Former Steps stars H and Claire are joining ITV1's Saturday morning children's show, SM:tv Live, in April. "Being an SM:tv presenter is a dream come true." Really. That'll make two gay male presenters then. Wonder how long it'll be before Brian feels threathened and votes him off like Josh, Big Brother style. H and Claire are also booked to appear at G-A-Y on Saturday May 4th. They will be launching their single DJ (due for release on the following Monday) with a performance of the track at their very first live PA. Their web site is called www.handclaire.co.uk. Bit of luck H didn't team up with someone called Job, eh? Then their web site would be called www.handjob.co.uk. Fnah, fnah.
Chitty Chitty Bang Bang...
Last night we went to see the first preview of Chitty Chitty Bang Bang at the London Palladium. And what a happy time we spent. We were running a little late to the show as the the Victoria line was a bit screwed up. That meant we were getting a bit stressed as we sat on the train while the minutes ticked by and we calculated and recalculated how long it would take us to run from tube platform to Royal Circle row L. But as we turned the corner with a brisk walk we were soon skipping. Seeing the the Palladium made all that stress melt away. Just the sight of that huge shiny car hanging outside made us squeal with delight. We knew we were in for something special. We just knew it. The foyer was a mass of reds and yellows and there was a sense of expectation hanging in the air (as Abba would say). Everyone was excited about seeing the show. You could see it in their eyes. Later on most of the front of house people crept into the back of the auditorium to watch too. No sooner had we taken our seats then the overture started with the opening bars of the Chitty theme. Immediately I was transported back to my childhood experiencing the thrill of watching what was for me one of the best children's musicals ever. That warm fuzzy feeling of nostalgia was an almost physical sensation. It almost tingled.  Act 1 followed the plot to Ian Fleming's book/ Roald Dahl's film pretty closely (car racing rivalry between Britain and Vulgar (read Germany) leads to espionage, kidnap and shameless jingoism). All the key scenes were there with equal measures of drama, comedy and those big, big musical production numbers. Toot Sweets was a sensational spectacle of dance, colour and music.Chitty Chitty Bang Bang a racing gallop that had the audience wanting to jump to their feet. Truly Scrumptious had everyone singing along. Hushabye Mountain was genuinely moving (ok, ok, I admit it, I had a tear in my eye). But the real show stopper was Me Ol' Bamboo. People were calling for encores which I think took the cast a bit by surprise. We expected a few technical hitches and indeed there were some (fluffed lines, inventions that didn't quite work the way they should). Especially amusing was when the Toot Sweet is supposed to toot for the first time and but it didn't. The cast went into some really funny ad libs that somehow endeared us even more to the show.
The interval cames after 90 minutes. And after all that stamping of our feet, singing along and laughing we were in need of a glass of wine or two. I immediately phoned Roger and gushed like a babbling buffoon about how fantastic the show was and how he should come and see it immediately. Poor man. He was probably pleased when I hung up when the bell rang for Act 2. The second act was a lot shorter than the first. All the classics were there though: The Roses Of Success, Chu-Chi Face and Doll On A Music Box/Truly Scrumptious along with four new songs too. The childcatcher (Richard O'Brian) got to sing a new one called Kiddy-Widdy-Winkies in a suitably menacing style as he stalked about the stage like a wading bird trying to not get his feet caught in the weeds. Caractacus Potts (Michael Ball), Grandpa Potts (Anton Rogers) and Truly Scrumptious (Emma Williams) were excellent throughout the whole performance. But real show stealers were the Baron (Brian Blessed) and Baroness (Nichola McAuliffe). They got to be funny, threatening and camp all at the same time. At no better time than in another new over the top glitzy number called The Bombie Samba. The finale itself was just amazing. The car (which was the star of the show after all) literally flew round the auditorium. People were on their feet cheering and clapping and singing and laughing. Whether is was the "most fantasmagorical stage musical in the history of everything!" is perhaps open to debate. But for me it was the best musical I have seen on the London stage. It's as simple as that. Wednesday, March 20, 2002
Madonna is a Bond Girl...
Hot off the press: Madonna is to compose and perform the title song for the 20th James Bond film, Die Another Day. More details later.
Tonight...
A cast of 44, including 19 children, 20 musicians and a flying car weighing one and a half tons. And me. 
A New Crown...
The Queen's getting a new Crown for her Jubilee. No, not one to put on her noggin, it's one for her pocket. There is a new £5 coin being produced by the Royal Mint. 
Oh, I forgot she never carries money does she. Well, it's a crown for we commoners then I suppose. But wait, who's going to want to carry a thumping great heavy coin? Answer: no-one. But then we said that about the £1 coin... and the £2 after that... D'oh! Looks like I'll need to get stronger trouser pockets again.
Webmonkeys at Pop Quiz...
We didn't win last night as we did last week but got a respectable 16 out of 20. Webmonkeys (for that is what we now call ourselves team name-wise) is getting into it's stride, especially now that Darren is a regular (this week sporting a rather fetching pair of glasses I might add). Along with Darren, David and my good self this week we boasted the lusciously lipped Dave too. Ian joined us later on after a little nap. So to the quiz. I shall try and reproduce it as best I can but it ain't easy without the tunes, man. 01 - 03. Name all nine of these female singers. Three answers to each of questions 1 to 3. 
04. What's the connection between Martine McCutcheon, Michael Jackson and Liza Minnelli? 05. Who have a single out this week called Home and Dry? 06. What 'Mark' was the singer of Metal Guru? 07. What 'Mark' was the singer in The Fall? 08. What 'Mark' was in the band that had a hit with Kings Of The Wild Frontier? 09. Name these five Nokia tunes... - no, no I simply can't bring myself to do it they were all such horrible versions. Instead I'll just ask you to fill in the blanks a) Ain't XXXX Sunshine b) Amazing XXXX c) Rhinestone XXXX d) XXXX XXXX XXXX Clowns e) XXXX By XXXX Man 10. Who are these two famous late 70s/early 80s musicians? They met in 1976. Both changed their last names. They formed a punk band together after seeing the Sex Pistols in London. One of them soon left to form his own (hugely influential) band. The original band went on and was soon signed to a big record label and made it very big. Both bands have now split. The two musicians now reformed as a duo. 11. You has a single out called Cocoon? 12. Ali G and Shaggy have a single out. What's it's called? 13. Iron Maiden have a charity record in the top ten. What it called? And for a bonus point, when was it originally a hit? 14. Whose single out this week has a cover of Suicide Is Painless as a B-side? 15. What the first line to the chorus of Madonna's La Isla Bonita: <-----------------what is this first line ?----------------------> When it's time for siesta you can watch them go by Beautiful faces, no cares in this world Where a girl loves a boy, and a boy loves a girl 16. Which female singer had a hit with Looking for Love? 17. Which female singer had a hit with Crush? 18. Which band and featured artist had a hit with the heavily sampled Feel It? 19. What was the year the previous three tracks were all hits?
St Patrick's Day...
Last Sunday was St Paddy's Day - as if you couldn't have failed to notice if you were anywhere near London's glitzy West End. Thousands of drunken people wearing green were staggering through the streets in comedy Guinness hats looking for booze, dancing and a good time. The police blocked off Strand at one point as everyone had decided to walk in the street rather than on the pavement. The luck of the Oirish, eh? Well, everyone looked all Oirish. Except they didn't sound Oirish. This was confirmed when upon closer inspection the majority actually turned out to be Oztrarlians. Sure enough St Patrick's Day had been hi-jacked by our antipodean friends. Rather reminiscent of the fact that there supposed to be more Oirish people living in America than there are in Oireland. Tuesday, March 19, 2002
A Mars A Day Helps You Work Rest And Play...
As you may know Mars is changing it's advertising. Out with the "A Mars A Day Helps You Work Rest And Play" and in with something new. But what? Well, I'm sure it's with no more than a hint of irony and a reference to the infamous (alleged?) sex act involving the Rolling Stones and Marianne Faithful in the 60s that they can up with the tag line "Pleasure You Can Measure". Nice one, boys.
Dolce & Gabbana advert...
Others have commented on the cuteness of the D&G model. I prefer the Calvin Klein guys myself - but each to his or her own. 
Here is the latest D&G poster that is on every bus stop and in every tube station at the moment. As I took this snap last Sunday afternoon a few people were looking at me oddly. Apparently it's OK to walk past and glance out of the corner of your eye at racy posters like these pretending not to be too interested but to actually stop and stare (or God forbid, take a photo) brands you as some kind of pervert. We Brits are a funny bunch.
Holy Halo...
Don't worry, Marcus. Another prayer meeting will be held soon. Then you can come worship again at the Altar of the Holy Trinity of The Nintendo, The Sony and The Halo Ghosts. Monday, March 18, 2002
Toothy wonders...
I have a lot of teeth. To put it mildly. So does my sister. In fact all our family do. At my sister's birthday meal last Friday our gnashers made a rare showing together in public. 
Ivory poachers have been known to hang around outside our house.
This was posted to my comments earlier today after my posting about the 'sex with a goat' item...
Our animal welfare group noticed the case of the arrest of a zoophile who is being prosecuted. We wanted the court and others involved with the case to be aware of our group and our web site with information on sexual assaults on animals and those who do this like the defendant; http://www.asairs.com In our experience, the defendant is likely to re-offend, the UK has a strict law against animal buggery and we urge prosecution and sex-offender treatment. A person who does this is known as a zoophile, which in many ways is similar to pedophilia. Unfortunately this abuse of animals is a growing problem. If we can be of further assistance for information, please contact us. Good day to you The ASAIRS inc staff http://www.asairs.com A.S.A.I.R.S.inc is a non-profit animal welfare entity chartered and incorporated under the laws of the state of Missouri to promote awareness of, education about, and prevention of sexual abuse of animals (zoophilia) Business mail; Greg Myers, President ASAIRS inc P.O. Box 1157 Arnold, MO 63010 Sunday, March 17, 2002
My head hurts...
I'm hungover. Home, safe and happy - but hungover. It's been a wild weekend so far. And more to come. Oh, dear. It's not easy being Green :) Friday, March 15, 2002
Thumb bandits...
Tonight Marky and I are going to deepest, darkest Hertfordshire to have a family meal / birthday bash / Mother's Day celebration with Merts, Terts, Jo, Si, Dawn et al. We're kipping over at Myrtle's as I've got a USB card, CompactFlash reader and CD-R/RW to install on their PC in the morning. She's just bought herself a Nikon 775 (just like mine and just like David's) and wants to be able to transfer pix to her PC and then on to CD. My mother has become so 2002 lately! Saturday we are heading back to Highbury by lunchtime. Drew, Marky, Marcus and I will be twitching our thumbs in the afternoon trying to get to grips with preventing an alien invasion, trying to rescue some bundles of fluff with teeth from hideously deformed scientists using a one-footed mutant and racing round Trafalgar Square at breakneck speed in Mini's. It'll be the first time I've seen Marcus without David which is kind of odd as I tend to think of them as one. Awwww. Everyone has to be out by 9-30/10pm though as I'm getting my new Arsenal away kit all pressed and ready for Shorts and Shorts. No TV crew this time :)
Sadie and the Scrubbers...
Clean out your ears and take a listen to sexy cream and positive. Fantastic. [Thanks to Jon (Hi Jon!) for the heads-up]
Xbox (those first impressions)...
Needless to say I played with my new Xbox well into the wee small hours last night. I'm hooked. Simply sensational. Mark got up an hour early this morning to play before going to work. It's that good. And reviews in single sentence:- Xbox: The graphics are excellent, the device a little big and heavy, the controllers equally so, but it has the feel of a well built device though and it will now be a permanent part of my living room furniture.   
Halo: Tricky to get used to the controls at first, very satisfying killing the aliens though, not as smooth as I had expected, great fun and lots of strategy involved. (4 stars) Project Gotham Racing: Looks fantasic, oversteering takes a bit of getting used to, the detail of say Leicester Square is close to photo realistic, most fun in multi-player mode with loads of nice touchs. (4 stars) Oddworld: Munch's Oddysee: Superbly cute, witty, involving, challenging, funny gameplay. (5 stars) Thursday, March 14, 2002
Video game madness: the reviews...
Some years ago I used to write games reviews for a magazine. Here are some of the reviews I had published of what were current releases back then. The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time a.k.a. Zelda 64 (Nintendo 64 - Nintendo - £39.99) Ask by boyfriend about Zelda and he'll foam at the mouth. It was exactly 5 years ago that they both competed for my affections on a nightly basis. Zelda always won. Long into the night I’d be running round finding secret weapons, casting spells, flying over mountains, swimming behind waterfalls, sweet talking goblins or battling multi-headed ogres in Zelda, the perfectly crafted alternative reality adventure game. The latest version, Zelda 64, lives up to and exceeds all expectations. It is a stunningly good game. All the brilliant gaming ideas from the Zelda series have been married to the 3D engine of Mario 64. Again Nintendo have got the balance right between real-time action and puzzle solving. Zelda 64 ia a truly superlative game that shines through it’s stunning graphics, ear-crushing sound effects and totally addictive game-play. Zelda 64 is the essential buy for all you N64 owners. And if you don’t own an N64 this is reason enough to buy one! It’ll take at least 70 hours at least to complete so more late nights ahead for me. Zelda 2, Boyfriend 0. Gran Turismo (Playstation - Sony - £44.99) Sony has long been experts at crafting extremely playable racing games. The shelves of video stores are packed with old copies of Ridge Racer and Wipeout. Gran Turismo knocks the spots of all of them. It's a truly realistic driving simulation that has to be seen to be believed. Not only are all your favourite sports cars here for buying, selling customising and racing but after each race the cars are fully rendered and thrown round the course for an action replay that is of breathtaking quality. The Quick Arcade mode gets you up and running either against the console or if you have a second controller pitted against a friend. The Gran Turismo mode is the more solitary but ultimately satisfying aspect of the game however. You start by buying a car which you race in order to win prize money to get a better car. Sounds easy enough, eh? Well, the catch is that in order to race at all you must pass various driving tests to gain licences. These tests are not always easy and your reflexes, car handling skills and patience may be stretched to the limit. Once gained though you can enter tougher and more lucrative races so accelerating your progress to what are ultimately the International classes. The more you play the more points you win and so the better car you can afford. Getting a memory pack is essential so you can save your progress. This game looks good, plays well and is addictive. Fucking magic! MarioKart 64 (Nintendo 64 - Nintendo - £49.99) How could Nintendo follow up the corker that was Super MarioKart for the SNES? Well, they've done it. MarioKart 64 is a bloody 3D marvel that is fun to play, easy to learn and as addictive as crack. The cartoon style pseudo-3D nature that made Super MarioKart so revolutionary hasn’t been jettisoned rather it’s been enhanced. The graphics are smoother, the colours are richer and the tunes even more catchy. You race round course after course of delightfully coded worlds, each looking as gorgeous as cheesecake with extra cream. The brilliant, vibrant colours make you want to leave the race track and just drive around. Strangely enough if you do this on one course you come across the castle from Mario 64. The split screen four player racing mode is groovy either as a full-on racer or in the battle mode - if by “battle” they mean throwing empty red and green turtle shells at balloons, that is. Buy it! Bomberman 64 (Nintendo 64 - HudsonSoft - £49.99) Its’ 16-bit baby brother was the most fun you could have with four people alone together. Period. Unfortunately the 64-bit version is PANTS. Badly thought out and badly coded it's a nightmare to play. What should have been a sure fire winner is a pathetic waste of money. The characters are too difficult to control so you often blow yourself up by accident. What's more this game commits the cardinal sin in that you can't see what's going on. The action is all happening in the middle distance which is neither engaging nor useful. Avoid, my little friends, avoid.
Man had sex with a nanny goat...
A judge decided yesterday to spend two more days deciding what sentence was apt for a man spotted by commuters having sex with a goat. Stephen Hall, 23, who is HIV positive, was wrestled to the ground by walkers who found him with the animal on allotments in east Hull as the passengers, on a train to Bridlington, called the police on their mobile phones. The commuter train had stopped at a red light, overlooking a shelter of tin sheets where Hall had imprisoned the nanny goat with his belt. Hull crown court was told that Hall had decided to assault the animal in a "spontaneous act". Judge Michael Mettyear told the court he was "sceptical" there was any programme helpful to Hall. He was asked by Chris Dunn, defending, to bear in mind the consequences of a jail term for this unemployed and sick man. "It is difficult to know what else to say to mitigate in [this] case," said Mr Dunn. "All right-minded, normal thinking people would find this abhorrent. Clearly [he] needs help." The court heard that Hall was seen having sex with the goat by a man walking with his grandson near Argyle Street allotments. Hall hid but then backed into view again, with his trousers round his ankles and a tight grip on the goat. He pleaded guilty to buggery at an earlier hearing. Rebecca Thornton, prosecuting, said the goat had suffered distress during the assault, which went on for up to 10 minutes. [From today's Guardian]
Video game madness: the games...
I own literally hundreds of video games. Hundreds. I have boxes and boxes of them. Many cost me £30 - £50 each. Some as much as £70. As someone at work says (with just a hint of jealousy), "I can tell you don't have kids". Yeah, yeah. Whatever. Well, having just got my new Xbox I had to get some games for it. Three very different games by all accounts: Halo (shoot'emup), Project Gotham Racing (city racer) and Oddworld: Munch's Oddysee (platform). If |
