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Crawling through technology, life and love Contact me: hotmail gmail home 
Listening: 
Playing: Donkey Kong Jet Racing - Wii iTuning: Podcasts - Russell Brand, Chris Moyles and Mark Kermode Reading: The End of Mr. Y - Scarlett Thomas Bits and Bobs: Wish List Gerry's Lyrics Pop Quiz Minipops Quiz Sites I like: Marc Almond Top 40 Singles News IMdb The Register Hacks Sainsbury's Recent GBlogs Arsenal FC Some blogs I enjoy: bboyblues2000 bitful blogadoon brainsluice chig groc minkered scally sparky troubled diva Books recently read: I Never Knew That About London - Christopher Winn The Arsenal Miscellany - Adam Gold Young Hearts Run Free: The Real Story of the 1970s - Dave Haslam Magical Thinking - Augusten Burroughs Veronika Decides To Die - Paulo Coelho Time Out Guide - Amsterdam Lillian's Story - Kate Grenville The God Delusion - Richard Dawkins Schott's Original Miscellany - Ben Schott Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - J K Rowling A Gay History Of Britain - Matt Cook Time Out Guide to Madrid Time Out Guide to New York Kingdom Come - J. G. Ballard The Hours - Michael Cunningham Mutants - Aramand Marie Leroi A Young Man's Passage - Julian Clary Growing Pains - Billie Piper The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath Wild Swans - Jung Chang Highbury: The Story of Arsenal N.5 - Jon Spurling Red Carpets and Other Banana Skins - Rupert Everett Affinity - Sarah Waters Lighthousekeeping - Jeanette Winterson Tipping The Velvet - Sarah Waters The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini Of Human Bondage - W Somerset Maugham Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier Lucky Man - Michael J Fox Labyrinth - Kate Mosse Fingersmith - Sarah Waters The Night Watch - Sarah Waters The Pedant's Revolt - Andrea Barham The Republic Of Trees - Sam Taylor Written On tbe Body - Jeanette Winterson Untold Stories - Alan Bennett The Plot Against America - Philip Roth Read All About It - Max Clifford The Folding Star - Alan Hollinghurst Thursbitch - Alan Garner Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim - David Sedaris Staying Alive - Matt Beaumont The Bookseller Of Kabul - Asne Seierstad Harry Potter and The Half-Blood Prince - J K Rowling A Short History Of Nearly Everything - Bill Bryson Count Karlstein - Philip Pullman The Shadow Of The Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon The Handmaid's Tale - Margaret Atwood The Spell - Alan Hollinghurst The Double Life Of Daniel Glick - Maurice Caldera The Smoking Diaries - Simon Gray Straight- Boy George Digital Fortress - Dan Brown Deception Point - Dan Brown The Ladies No. 1 Detective Agency - Alexander McCall Smith Angels and Demons - Dan Brown Sydney - Time Out Guide Oryx and Crake - Margaret Atwood Eleanor Rigby - Douglas Coupland The Scarecrow and His Servant - Philip Pullman Tha Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown The Perks Of Being A Wallflower - Stephen Chbosky Planet Simpson - Chris Turner The Line Of Beauty - Alan Hollinghurst Barcelona - Time Out Guide The Closed Circle - Jonathan Coe The Clerkenwell Tales - Peter Ackroyd Copenhagen - TimeOut Guide The Butterfly Tattoo - Philip Pullman The Broken Bridge - Philip Pullman In Search of the Pleasure Palace - Marc Almond Brick Lane - Monica Ali Vernon God Little - DBC Pierre Last Exit To Brooklyn - Hubert Selby Jr You Shall Know Our Velocity - Dave Eggers Touching The Void - Joe Simpson Life Of Pi - Yann Martel Istanbul - Time Out Guide Millennium People - J G Ballard The Duchess Who Wouldn't Sit Down - Jesse Browner Hey Nostradamus! - Douglas Coupland Eats, Shoots and Leaves - Lynne Truss The Wind-up Bird Chronicle - Haruki Murakami Our Man In Havana - Graham Greene The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time - Mark Haddon Lyra's Oxford - Philip Pullman Doran - Will Self Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold Middlesex - Jeffrey Eugenides the book, the film, the t-shirt - matt beaumont High Society - Ben Elton Man And Wife - Tony Parsons I Was A Rat - Philip Pullman Harry Potter: The Order of the Phoenix - J R Rowling Great Apes - Will Self Barrel Fever - David Sedaris Round Ireland With A Fridge - Tony Hawkes Close Range - Annie Proux The Third Way - Anthony Giddens dot.con - John Cassidy The Salmon of Doubt - Douglas Adams One Hit Wonderland - Tony Hawkes The Thief Lord - Cornelia Funke The Corrections - Jonathan Franzen The Cloud Sketcher - Richard Rayner Keane: the Autobiography - Roy Keane A Wasteland of Strangers - Bill Pronzini The English - Jeremy Paxman How to Lose Friends and Alienate People - Toby Young Dead Famous - Ben Elton The Amber Spyglass - Phillip Pullman (again) The Subtle Knife - Phillip Pullman (again) Northern Lights - Phillip Pullman (again) The Bear and The Dragon - Tom Clancy 101 Reykjavik - Hallgrimur Helgason Forward The Foundation - Isaac Asimov Carter Beats The Devil - Glen David Gold The Tin Princess - Philip Pullman Atonement - Ian McEwan The Tiger In The Well - Philip Pullman The Rotters Club - Jonathan Coe Generation X - Douglas Copeland Perfume - Patrick Suskind All Families Are Psychotic - Douglas Coupland The Shadow In The North - Phillip Pullman No Logon - Naomi Klein The Dirt - Motley Crue Miss Wyoming - Douglas Coupland The Amber Spyglass - Phillip Pullman The Subtle Knife - Phillip Pullman Northern Lights - Phillip Pullman The Ruby in the Smoke - Phillip Pullman The Sandman - Miles Gibson Blood and Gold: The Vampire Marius - Anne Rice The Actrocity Exhibition - J G Ballard Shameless - Paul Burston Sing Out! - Boze Hadleigh Brilliant Orange - David Winner New Boy - William Sutcliffe London - Peter Ackroyd Wonder Boys - Michael Chabon One For My Baby - Tony Parsons How To Be Good - Nick Hornby White Teeth - Zadie Smith Lust - Geoff Ryman Tulip Fever - Deborah Moggach Dead Souls - Ian Rankin The House Of Sleep - Jonathan Coe A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius - Dave Eggers What a carve up! - Jonathan Coe The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay - Michael Chabon The Grapes Of Wrath - John Steinbeck Heartwood - James Lee Burke Cryptonomicon - Neal Stephenson Man and Boy - Tony Parsons The Map Of Love - Ahdaf Soueif e - Matt Beaumont The e Before Christmas - Matt Beaumont  
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Wednesday, October 31, 2001
Tonight in Sodom...
Just getting ready for the Soft Cell concert in Brixton. And on Hallowe'en too.Yippee!
Animal crackers...
A shrew? I don't think so. But then I don't think of myself as a baboon so what do I know? I like the bit about, "baboons are highly regarded as lovers and are frisky and creative in the bedroom." Hee, hee.
Red, white and blue...
If Osama Bin Laden wanted to stem the tide of UK gay bloggers he missed his chance last night. There was a highly concentrated pod at the Retro Bar last night. We stood strong and we stood proud. Not only that - we won too. Very Red: I was publicly humiliated when the music stopped and I was still singing Geri Halliwell's 'Scream If You Want To Go Faster' at full volume. Very White: When David correctly identified Kelis as one of the answers I noticed that there were next to no black people in the room. Very Blue: The language that rang around the room when we won the money. £64 to share amongst the four of us. Tuesday, October 30, 2001
The Pink Flamingo...
The Guardian aren't always that keen on giving out high star ratings for the theatre, film and pop concerts that they review. However today's review of Soft Cell's gig in Leeds got the full FIVE STARS! Wow! Soft Cell 5 stars - Leeds University Dave Simpson - Guardian Unlimited Tuesday October 30, 2001 Suicide and Sparks laid the groundwork, but between 1981 and 1984, Soft Cell defined the synthesiser duo. All these years later, they are still playing to packed houses - and opening number Memorabilia sounds anything but dated. This is either because the song has been meticulously updated as a post-techno gay disco anthem, or because Soft Cell were so ahead of their time in the first place. Everybody's making comebacks nowadays, but Soft Cell have more to offer than nostalgia. With Marc Almond's solo career at a halt, and David Ball refreshed by his time in 1990s dance act the Grid, the duo seem determined to prove that they can once again be vital. To assist, Almond has a new blond crop that takes years off him, and a nervous, twitchy dance that matches the music's speedy urgency. A clutch of new songs update the classic Soft Cell sound; along with Almond's soaring vocals and Ball's Motowny synth melodies, the bass frequencies do things to the human body that are illegal. Monoculture spells out the manifesto: "Why don't I give up, submit to the God of the bland?" crows Almond, answering his question with the vigour of the song. While their trademark stomp benefits from modern technology, not everything has changed. Almond - the Leeds Warehouse cloakroom attendant who chose to live out his fantasies - is still immersed in lowlife. Divided Souls finds endless sleaze in the life of Marvin Gaye; Last Chance introduces a lover who "looks like a lady of the night, in see-thru mac and 60s tack". And yet, there's something cuddly about Almond. When he sings Bedsitter, the timeless tale of clubland alienation, generations cheer in empathy. Many in the crowd bear the ravages of 1980s hair abuse, but promisingly, there are hordes of younger fans too. As the hits trundle out, it's difficult to resist the sense of danger, sex and radicalism that permeates these songs, especially vibrant in pop's current, colourless void. After Say Hello, Wave Goodbye, it's time to say hello again, and welcome back. Soft Cell play Brixton Academy, London SW9 (020-7771 2000), tomorrow. And I shall be there to see them! Can't wait. It'll be my fifth time of seeing them this year so far.
Your starter for ten...
University Challenge is that old quiz show that pits one uni against another - on each team there are four, usually ugly, brainiacs fighting it out to see who are the top bananas in the intellectual trivia department. Jeremy Paxman sits in the quiz chair and spits out the questions and the derision with equal relish. Mark and I are avid watchers. Normally just to see how many we can get right. More often than not we do OK, however last night's show seemed particularly easy. Maybe it was because they obviously had a gay question setter in there somewhere. How else could you explain the questions with such bitchy quotes and the fact that in one round you had to identify Bette Davis films from a single screen shot of each? Needless to say we walked it. One of the questions in last night's show was: Who said "The optimist thinks this is the best of all possible worlds. The pessimist fears it is true"? The answer was of course Robert Oppenheimer, that well know German and atomic bomber. David and I normally exchange text messages the start of the show about the attractiveness (or not!) of the team members. Proving you can be be shallow and deep at the same time. Monday, October 29, 2001
Terra Nova...
Rumoured to feature an old Earth settlement, Terra Nova, which was colonised by Earth before fast interstellar space travel was possible. After the initial group of colonist settled down, Earth wanted to send a second wave of colonists, but the inhabitants of Terra Nova refused. Shortly thereafter, all contact with the colony was lost, and as the planet was nine years travel away, no investigation team was ever sent. Now, Captain Archer and his crew go to investigate and see if there are any humans still left. This sixth Star Trek:Enterprise episode was a bit of a "ho-hum" episode. Not enough Trip in it for my liking. Interesting to see it was directed by LeVar Burton though.
To do list...
- Contact London Partnerships Registry to double-check time on Saturday and give names of our two 'best men' - Organize balloon delivery to the Retro Bar - Hire suits from Moss Bros. - Ask the wonderful Wendy to sort out the flowers - Book Pizza Express for meal afterwards for those that might be hungry - Write short speech about Mark - Go on stag night Now what have I forgotten? Sunday, October 28, 2001
On my mark...ACTION! (Part II)
The film crew picked me up at 7pm last night and whisked off to a secret location (well, a flat in Highbury) to be filmed getting changed into my kit and talking a bit more about why footie kit is sexy. They were very interested in finding out about what went on in sports clubs like 'Sports and Shorts' and I assured them that no sex went on. Well, not usually anyway! They asked me about this web site and I read some of it out to them which they loved. They even said they would put my URL on screen. Yeah, right! Like that's going to happen! Later we headed off to The Stag in Victoria to 'Sports and Shorts' proper. The place was not as busy as usual but more than I feared it would be. The combination of it being 'invitation only' and the fact that there were lots of parties on in town that night meant that the numbers were down. Initially anyway. Mark told me that while some people didn't want to come because Channel Four were filming others had made a special trip down there for exactly the same reason. So by 11pm to place was getting pretty busy. Iain and Scally were both there with their respective beaux. It was too noisy to do any sound recording inside so the crew just shot video inside. The crew also went outside and did some vox pop with a number of people who volunteered. In fact they were queuing up to say their piece. 'Football kit is the new leather', 'football kit is set to take over the gay scene' and all that bollocks. I was getting a bit bored of it all by then to be honest. I'd been asked the same questions all day and had really done the subject to death. So I just hung around the bar and got drunk at Channel Four's expense. Later on when the crew came back inside they tried to do a set-up piece with someone fondling my bum. Like I had to asked twice! I think they wanted to try and play up the sexual aspect of the place - whereas it's really just a fun night of drinking and mucking about. Setting up the shot was all a bit staged in that 'lights! camera! action!' kind of a way. Eventually they got the shot they were after though. The found some cute boy to do the fondling so I mustn't grumble. He gave me a hard-on but sadly once the shot was over I couldn't see my new found friend for dust. Telly tart! (Takes one to know one, I suppose!). I can see his gaydar profile now:- Name: Joel Dick Size: Large Special Interests: Buttock fondling, being on telly The crew left just after midnight but the presenter, Amory and I stayed on to the bitter end. If I'd known I had two hours of nightbussing it across town in the driving rain ahead of me in order to get home then I'd have left earlier. But back at the pub we tucked into another round of free drinks and chatted about how the had gone day. Amory seemed to think it had all gone very well and thanked me for my input. He said that the 7 hours of filming would be condensed down to about 5-7 minutes and the show would be screened some time in the Sprint of next year. Just before he left, Amory said, "Did you enjoy the day? Would you put anything differently?" and before I got a chance to answer he said, "Not that it matters now of course, we're got your signed release form!" Why does that not fill me with confidence? Oh well. I can expect a few I-told-you-so's no doubt. Is there anything I would put differently? Yes, probably. Would I do it all again? Definitely. Saturday, October 27, 2001
On my mark...ACTION! (Part I)
The first set of filming is now over. I have a two hour break to grab some food before we start again. We started at 2pm doing some external shots at the Arsenal ground, our local football stadium. Amory (eh, stage name I think) asked me various questions as we sat on a wall over looking the terraces - what I thought about football in general, why I am a fan - stuff like that. Then we walked a bit along the wall of the ground and he asked what I liked about football kit. We chatted, we laughed. Then we moved on to the Arsenal shop where I talked about some of the stuff they sell and especially why I like the Arsenal kit. I also pointed out who the cutest players were too, the Dutchman Dennis Bergkamp in particular. We chatted some more, we laughed some more. After we had finished there we went to JD Sports in the Holloway Road to film Amory looking at some England kit and trying some on. Cue: hilarious scenes of oversized and undersized kit being tried on in the changing rooms. I eventually persuaded him to buy a simple England shirt and shorts so he can look the part tonight at 'Sports and Shorts'. I think he was pleasantly surprised that he didn't feel a complete prat in the kit. Maybe we'll make a footie fan of him yet. You'll be pleased to hear I was the very model of discretion - apart from saying 'up the Arse' every chance I could. Let's face it it's low brow TV not High Art.
I'm ready for my close-up, Mr DeMille...
Filming starts in one hour. I'm a bit nervous but quite excited too.
I AM 49% GEEK...
I probably work in computers, or a history deptartment at a college. I never really fit in with the "normal" crowd. But I have friends, and this is a good thing. Take the GEEK Test at Fuali.com! [Thanks to Michael for the link]
Typos...
The blogger spell-check is back! Hurray! Friday, October 26, 2001
There comes a time in every geek's life...
...when they set up a webcam. So here's mine. It's currently pointing at my chair at work so you can see whether I'm at my desk or not. It updates every 60 seconds.
Strange package...
This morning I got a call from front desk. I had a package to be collected from goods in on the ground floor. The normal delivery guy didn't want to bring it up. Odd, I thought. So I went down thinking, 'what a lazy git'. When I got down there they showed me the package. It was from the Middle East. No big deal. I work for a Saudi company. It’s not unusual for me to get packages from the Middle East. No reason for him to be worried. No reason at all. Funny how perfectly rational people behave irrationally in times of war. Idiot. Lazy idiot. 
OK so I’m back in my office and the package has been sitting on my desk all morning. Funny how I haven’t got round to opening it yet? Me? Worried? No, no I’ve just been too busy. Far too busy. I’ll wait until I’ve eaten my sandwich anyway. Then maybe I’ll open it later. Or maybe on Monday. Or get someone else to do it. OK, I’m the idiot.
Get your kit on…
Tomorrow night is ‘Sports and Shorts’ at the Stag in Vauxhall. It’s David Overkamp’s 30th birthday too so the event is invitation only but you can download one now. I’m really looking forward to it. Lots of boys in football kit all up for a bit of fun. And we're promised a 'special night'. Lights, camera, action… And on a completely related subject, Channel 4 is making a documentary tomorrow in which I am taking a small part. During the day we are filming at the ‘World of Arsenal’ shop in Finsbury Park, at another football shop in North London, at a flat near the Arsenal ground and at the Arsenal ground itself. Then I’m being interviewed about why I think soccer kit is sexy – that should be easy! In the evening the crew will be following me to ‘Sports and Shorts’. All very innocent really. Football… I first took an interest in football when I was very young. I didn’t know I was gay then. It was just a fun thing to do with friends. Kick a ball about. I used to play in goal and, though I say so myself, was actually not bad. When I got to secondary school (age 11) I began to realise that actually I wasn’t as good as I’d previously thought. I didn’t get picked for the team anymore so lost interest. I still found football alluring though. I had a poster of the delicious Peter Osgood on my wall for Chelsea was my team. “Blue is the colour, football is the game. We’re all together and winning is our aim”. I didn’t think of it as a sexual thing – just plain old fashioned hero worship. Watching BBC1’s Grandstand on a Saturday afternoon soon told me that I was wrong though. Boy, was it sexual thing. At the end of every Grandstand show they would do a round up of the football scores and usually interview one football team or the other - live! More often than not they would conduct the interview in the dressing room. After 90 minutes on a pitch the players are hot, sweaty and covered in mud. So the first thing they do in the dressing room is strip off and jump in the communal bath. For some reason they never seemed to have showers in these places. So the cameras would gingerly peer through the steam and mist to reveal eleven fit, young men romping around in the soapy waters of a huge bath. The interviewer would try and conduct a serious discussion where of course your attention would be firmly fixed on what was going on behind. Could you see a flash of thigh, a bit of bum or even a soapy dick? While the guy being interviewed tried to keep a straight face his team mates would be pushing, shoving, rubbing and squeezing under water to try and distract him. It was a thrilling thing to watch and often very funny. And strangely erotic too. That's when I became a football fan. During my school years I didn’t really have much time for football. I was too busy studying and trying to learn rudimentary social skills. I was much better at the former than the latter. I eventually won an Exhibition to study at Cambridge where every sport was encouraged - except football. I played hockey, squash, badminton and tennis. My picture of Peter Osgood was replaced by one of Debbie Harry. I was too busy trying to be 'normal'. Not that that lasted long! Shortly after leaving college I ‘came out’. It was received wisdom at the time that football was anti-gay. That is, it was viewed as aggressive, loutish and homophobic. The epitome of what was wrong with 80s Britain. Hooliganism was rife and soccer crowd violence at matches and on the streets afterwards was common. However as the 80s drew to a close, football had started to change its image. There was more money in the game thanks to lucrative television contracts. The era of the all-seated stadium had been ushered in by a number of tragic accents at grounds. And gradually it became OK again to stand up and say “I like football”. English teams were again allowed to play in Europe after being banned for a number of years for having violent fans. Even the national team was doing better too. By that time I was going out with an Arsenal fan, or a Gooner as he would prefer to be known. He would take me to the odd match and I have to say I was transfixed. It was unforgettable. It was magic. It was amazing. The roar of the crowd at a football match is like nothing I’d ever witnessed before. 65,000 people all watching, chanting and shouting as one. It is an almost religious experience. You could feel the emotion pouring onto the pitch from the crowd. The crowd was largely men. So you had men watching men. Men idolising men. Men loving men. There was so much testosterone sloshing around that without precautions you could have caught twins or something. I naturally became a gooner myself and I soon realised there was quite a group of gay football fans. There was even a Gay Football Supporters Network. Somehow football was being reclaimed by those you had long not felt as though they belonged. Clubs began to acknowledge they had gay fans too. Footballers would even play up to the idea that they had gay fans. Giggs and especially Beckham started to do homoerotic calendars and overtly sexual magazine spreads. They obviously welcomed the attention. And we wanted to give it to them (missus!). I should perhaps point out that you can be a football fan without finding the players attractive, and indeed you can find players sexy without being a fan. However most gay football fans not only appreciate the Beautiful Game but whose beauties wearing the kit too. So there you have it, I'm a gay football fan.
The world's most evil kitten...
http://www.konstruktiv.net/kitty_02.html (Turn the sound up) [Thanks to PopBitch] Thursday, October 25, 2001
I am 19% Punk...
It's not a fashion craze, or even a cool thing to do. I should just swallow it, get Lost, and take my friends with me. Take the PUNK/POSER Test at Fuali.com! [Thanks to Sparky for the link.]
The Joy Of Text...
David spends a lot on phones calls, particularly using SMS. For our American friends SMS stands for Short Message System/Service and gives you the ability to send text messages to and from mobile phones. It's fast, only costs a few pence and is unidirectional like e-mail. This is immensely useful as it let's you send messages like - "I'll be a few minutes late" or "Meet you in the pub at 6". People in Europe send zillions of these SMS messages every day. Note that we are not *always* late or *always* in the pub. Just often. The oddest SMS I ever got was I think sent to me in error. It simple said "Let's do it again tonight - Woffy X". I didn't recognise the number and didn't have the courage to send back a reply to whoever Woffy is. I've just got this month's phone bill. Not too frightening at £40.99 (over half of which is SMS, many to David!). Last month it was a tad over £143 (gasp!). The previous month it was in excess of £173 (eeks!). Luckily I have a very nice boss - who agrees to pay all my bills! The joys of having a company phone, eh?
A good night all round…
Last night was Bar Code’s “5th birthday party”. In fact that was a bit a misnomer as it wasn’t actually the correct date for their birthday. They had brought it forward from 12th December to last night as business has been bad recently and they wanted to pep things up a bit. Get a few more punters in. And selling all drinks at £1 was a sure fire way of doing this. The place was packed. It was great to spend time with Mark, Will, Paul (fwoah!), Colin, Carl, Ian, Roger, Michael, Steve, Terry and, towards the end, David and Marcus. To top the night off Arsenal won 3-1 at home. Just the score they needed to take them through into the second phase of the Champions League. We love you Thierry Henry for your injury-time winner. Go Gunners! Go! Wednesday, October 24, 2001
Up the Arse...!
As I walked to work this morning the police parking cones were all out in force. The Gunners are playing Real Mallorca at Highbury tonight. "I know they are coming here very focused on getting a big result,and that means only a draw." Too right, Lauren. Mash 'em. Oh, and if you fancy popping in for tea afterwards the b/f is out all evening :-) For the uninitiated: Arsenal Football Club = Arsenal FC = The Gunners = The Arse. Yes, I know our goalkeeper is called David Seaman. Yes, I know that means you can go and watch Seaman play up the Arse. But would you want to?
The Raining Champignons...
We didn't win at last night's Retro Bar Pop Quiz but we did pretty well. 19½ out of a possible 21. And what a fun quiz it was. Easy too. Wendy devised it which is always a good sign. Wendy’s quizzes seem to hit the right balance of old vs. new, obvious vs. geeky that some of the guest compilers sometimes miss. The first round was three current releases. Britney Spears, Michael Jackson and Lisa ‘Left Eye’ Lopes. Can you name their current hits? We got one word wrong with the MJ hit so losing ½ point :-( Next we heard three pieces of music from three horror films. Easily spotted were the themes or music from Psycho, Halloween and The Hunger. Then there was a round called ‘And the Girl’. We had to name the female members of the bands. The songs played were ‘Band on the Run’, ‘Psycho Killer’ and some song by Pulp (that escapes me). Can you name the three women? The ‘What Happen Next?’ round was the wonderful warbling of Pauline Black singing The Selector’s ‘On My Radio’. We needed the last twelve words of the chorus. Easy really - can you guess? The next round was three new releases with songs called ‘Fat Lip’, ‘Rock The House’ and ‘In The End’. Can you name the three bands that have these singles out at the moment? The 80s round consisted of three tracks and we had to guess the artist and the album they came from. We heard ‘Gloomy Sunday’ by The Associates, ‘Cake And Eat It’ by Dead Or Alive and ‘4 Ever 2 Gether’ by ABC. Can you name the three albums they come from? The ‘Spot The Connection’ round was a little tough. We didn’t get it anyway. The four tracks were:- ‘New York, New York’ – Frank Sinatra ‘A Love Supreme’ – Robbie Williams ‘These Boots Are Made For Walking’ – Nancy Sinatra ‘Diamonds Are A Girl’s Best Friend’ – Nicole Kidman Can you see the connection? I’ll give you a clue. It’s a song title. The final round was the ‘Grease’ round. The questions were:- Who sang the title track? How many weeks was ‘Summer Nights’ number one in the UK? Who sang ‘Beauty School Dropout’? What year was the film released? (for a bonus point) The winners got every question right – twenty-one out of twenty-one. Unfortunately (for them) they one the booby prize of the Britney Spears single. Ha! Tuesday, October 23, 2001
You're fooling no one...
All a big prank, of course. But funny all the same. http://thegrapevine.blogspot.com/. The mock fight back is fairly lame though at http://whoisgrapevine.blogspot.com Have a pop yourself. Just go to blogger.com and sign in as: username: whoisthegrapevine password: whoisthegrapevine
This town, is coming like a ghost town...
I love the London Underground. OK, it's a bit of a nightmare during the rush hours, it's not the cleanest metro in the world and the Northern Line justly deserves its name as the Misery Line. But otherwise it is fast, convenient and cheap. It is the life blood of London as can be amply demonstrated during tube strikes when lots of people just stay at home. More often than not it gets me from home to work and back again faster than any other method I've tried. It gets me to and from The Vauxhall Tavern on a Sunday. It gets me home from Bar Code or the Retro Bar without fuss. (OK, I *do* get taxis but usually only when I'm drunk!) When I first started taking the tube on a regular basis some years ago I started to notice the irregular spacing between stations. In particular between Caledonian Road and Kings Cross and between Green Park and Hyde Park Corner on the Piccadilly Line. The reason for this is because between these stations are 'ghost' stations. Disused stops that have long had their entrances and exits boarded up. No longer needed, their platforms lie idle. If you look closely you can see these bricked up stations flashing past. Examples are British Museum, City Road, South Kentish Town, York Road, Marlborough Road and King William Street. It seems a little sad to me that these stations can't be reopened. One of the official reasons for their original closure was that as tube trains were getting longer so the stations needed to be further apart. Some stations are still very close to each other though. If you stand at the end of the platform at Covent Garden you can actually see the lights of Leicester Square down the track. The Tube: what do you think? Love it or loathe it?
The Unexpected...
We watched the fifth Star Trek:Enterprise episode last night called 'The Unexpected'. It was really very good. A bit funny, a bit sexy, and not too off-hand. I'm really begining to warm to the show now. Especially Trip, the chief engineer. Did he need to strip down to his blue underwear? I think so.
Start your Christmas shopping early...
And get something for the man in your life. For those nights and days, when you want to be and feel a little special, naughty, and very sexy, these are for you. All the colours, all the sizes. Monday, October 22, 2001
Jonathan helps out in class...
Andrew is 'our' nephew - really he's Mark's but I've sorted of adopted him too. He has just finished training to be a teacher and has now started a new job teaching year 4 in a South London primary school. I have my IM running at work all day. Even so, I was a little surprised (pleasantly) when this popped up on my screen last week. 13:45pm 18/10/2001 Andrew says: hi Jonathan says: Oh, Hi Andrew says: sorry i have got my class in here looking at the projector and me typing so dont be rude Jonathan says: That's OK Andrew says: say hi to 4a! Jonathan says: Three nuns go into a pub... :) Jonathan says: Hi 4a! Andrew says: they say hi back Jonathan says: What's the weather like? Andrew says: nice and sunny Jonathan says: Glad to hear it Jonathan says: What do you call a man with a spade on his head? Andrew says: we dont know Jonathan says: Doug Andrew says: lol x 28 Jonathan says: What do you call a man with two glass doors on his head? Jonathan says: Paddy O'Doors Andrew says: much laughter again Jonathan says: What do you call a woman with two pints of ale and an earthen ware jug on her head? Jonathan says: Beer-tricks Potter Andrew says: what do you call a fish with no eye (from sverrir) Jonathan says: Don't know Andrew says: dont be rude Andrew says: fsh Jonathan says: HA HA HA!!!! Andrew says: sorry we must get back to our lesson Jonathan says: What do you call a man with a saucepan on his head? Jonathan says: Stu Jonathan says: OK, back to work everyone!!!! Jonathan says: BYE!!!!! Andrew says: if we are good we will be back in a bout 30 minutes after our it lesson Andrew says: bye x 28 Jonathan says: Bye, class. A little bit later they came back for more. Bless. 14:33pm 18/10/2001 Andrew says: hello they wanted to say another hi to you Andrew says: don't know why Jonathan says: Hi Andrew says: they want to tell jokes Andrew says: hang on Andrew says: why did the boy throw a honey sandwich out of the window Andrew says: ? Jonathan says: I don't know? Andrew says: because he wanted to catch a bee! Jonathan says: HA HA HA! Andrew says: (i don't get it either) Jonathan says: Quite weird! Andrew says: daisy: why did the golfer wear two pairs of trousers Jonathan says: Don't know? Andrew says: daisy: just in case he got a hole in one Jonathan says: Hee, hee. Andrew says: chelsey: how do you pikachu (pokemon) on a bus Andrew says: ? Jonathan says: Give up Andrew says: poke him on Jonathan says: Ho Ho Ho! Andrew says: already gave that one away my fault. One last one I promise Andrew says: george: knock knock Jonathan says: Who's there? Andrew says: boo Jonathan says: boo who? Andrew says: don't cry it's only a joke Jonathan says: Ha Ha Ha Andrew says: we are off now byyyyyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Jonathan says: Bye gang! Wow! Where else could a forty year old man have a conversation with a group of 28 kids over the internet and it all be quite so innocent? (Note to self: have better jokes to hand at work) Sunday, October 21, 2001
Wap-tastic...
Wow! I'm posting this from my phone using wapblogger. Blogging on the move. Cool! Saturday, October 20, 2001
Have I got news for you...
... returned to our screens last night. Funny, funny show. For the uninitiated it's a topical news quiz featuring the Master of Ceremonies Angus Deayton, prince of the put-down Ian Hislop and joker of the pack Paul Merton, plus two other guests. Last night these were Michael Crick (Jeffery Archer's biographer) and Rich Hall (the comedian). During the show the subject came up of the 'entertainment' given to the British troops in Oman last week - consisting of Geri Halliwell, Steps and Bobby Davro (the rather crap 'comedian'). “Bobby Davro was entertaining the troops”, said purple-suited host Angus Deayton. “If that doesn’t put them in the mood for killing people, I don’t know what will.” And the best line of the night. Paul Merton: "And how did Geri Halliwell entertain the troops exactly? Alphabetically?"
So many men, so little time...
Last night was fun. We went to the Ram Bar for a Sports And Shorts friendly. When I say 'we', what started out as "I'm going to the Ram Bar tonight' turned into 'the world and his wife are going to the Ram Bar tonight'. We almost had to hire a bus. When we got there the place was packed already. Cute boys in football and rugby tops. Hmmm. It was nice to see Mark, Drew, Christopher, Colin, Martin, Ross, Stephen, Neil, Mark, Kevin and to meet Des, Simon, Richard, David, Peter, Ashley and especially Duncan (ginger). [God! This is beginning to sound like one of Uncle Hedgehog's people lists!] I would have had more time to socialise but I started playing pool and by some fluke couldn't seem to put a ball wrong. Nine straight games without losing, I retired undefeated. We moved en masse to the Artful Dodger at midnight to continue with some more jolly japez and wizard weez. In bed by 4am. Smiling broadly. Friday, October 19, 2001
Shameless not senseless...
I'm due to take part in a TV show next week - being filmed in my footie kit and being interviewed about sex. But now I'm not so sure. Even if the show did win an award this year. What does the panel think? Thursday, October 18, 2001
Star Trek: Enterprise...
I watched a couple of the new Star Trek:Enterprise episodes, 'Strange New World' and 'Fight Or Flight' last night. I'm going to watch the first two episodes 'Broken Bow Part I & II' tonight. Just a few comments. ? Generally plots are OK, but scripts are terrible. ? What's this with a depressed argon-loving slug that's off it's food. And they leave it on just any old planet. Hello? Prime Directive? ? That stupid translator women picks up a gun and says, "What's this?". Hello? Didn't you get any training? ? Jokes like, "You've been watching too much Sci-Fi" aren't funny when you're watching crap Sci-Fi. ? Hello? Just how many people are there that ship? Six? ? Is the captain going to keep wanting to just rush down to the planet/on to the alien ship/do stupid things all the time? It's going to get a bit boring. ? Why is the first 20 minutes always so crap (no, not 'ironic' or 'funny' just crap), the next 20 minutes only slightly better and last 20 minutes always action. ? Are they in a rut already? ? Why do they have table-clothes at dinner? Is this The Waltons? ? It's Dark Star but without the humour. ? It's Alien without the Alien. ? It's X-Files (autopies, smoke, torches et al) without the 'X' and without the 'Files'. ? Where's all the money gone - it sure ain't up there on the screen. ? Have they killed the franchise? I bloody hope not.
Dead, compressed and cool...
Since the demise of Napster, I download files from Morpheus these days. I've found Morpheus to be both fast and reliable for music and video. You can even close your PC down in the middle of a download and when you restart it will continue with the download. If a source goes off line it will try and find it from a different location and pick up from where it left off. An excellent system that has allowed me to watch Star Trek: Enterprise way before it gets shown on Sky One. This also brings me to a little chat about MPEG - the Moving Picture Engineering Group - lossy compression standard. MPEG-1 was pretty lousy. OK for VideoCD format (about VHS quality) but not much else. It was designed to compress video streams at constant fixed rate so fast moving images would blur. When MPEG-2 was launched it was much better. It's the compression used for DVDs with adaptive rate compression i.e. in fast moving scenes not much compression occurs to ensure a crisper image. In scenes where less happend visually the file gets compressed a lot more. The overall files are much smaller and or better quality. MPEG-3 (aka MP3) as many people know, has been chiefly used in the audio field. The video aspects have rarely been exploited. The newest compression algorhythm is MPEG-4 which was originally designed for video use on low bandwidth devices such as mobiles and PDAs. However when used at higher bandwidths such as on a PC or a Mac the results are even better. You can watch an MPEG-4 video clip at full screen and it is an outstandingly clear and crisp image with no blur whatsoever. The files are small and easy to copy. The Star Trek:Enterprise clips we downloaded yesterday where of this high quality. I simply burnt them onto a CD and we watched them on our DVD player. Outstanding sound and image quality. Cool. Shame the same couldn't be said of the shows themselves. More on that later.
Chitty Chitty Bang Bang...
PRESS RELEASE: Coming to the London stage. Previews from 19 March 2002 - London Palladium - £10.00-40.00 The world’s most famous car will soon be flying into London’s most famous theatre! Chitty Chitty Bang Bang is based on the enthralling children’s movie musical about a magical car that sails over the seas and flies through the skies. But the adventures really start when Chitty’s eccentric inventor, Caractacus Potts and his family are flown to far-off Vulgaria – a cruel land where children are not allowed and where they are at the mercy of the evil Child Catcher! I have to go and see this next year. I just loved the film. I first went to go and see it when I was 7 years old for my birthday treat. We were allowed to go to the cinema once a year - the birthday boy or girl always got to choose. It was the best birthday a boy ever had. I loved everything about it. Even Dick Van Dyke. And I used to imagine Truly Scrumptious was my mother. And I knew Baroness Bomburst was a sexpot. And I wanted to be an inventor when I grew up. And the Child Catcher gave me nightmares. And I wanted a toot sweet. And a flying car. And, and, and... 
Remember those songs? 'You Two', 'Toot Sweets', 'Hushabye Mountain', 'Me Ol' Bamboo', 'Truly Scrumptious', 'Posh!', 'The Roses Of Success', 'Chu-Chi Face', 'Doll On a Music Box/Truly Scrumptious', and of course the title track, 'Chitty Chitty Bang Bang' which got nominated for an Oscar. What a classy 'family' film and a rip roaring set of songs. It should be a blast on the stage. Little known facts about the film - it was written by Roald Dahl, both Benny Hill & Barbara Windsor were in it and Phil Collins was too but was left on the cutting room floor. Ha! Best place for him. Any one else out there remember seeing the film as a child? Wednesday, October 17, 2001
There are no cute politicians, discuss....
Oi! Amercia! This is a joke, right! You don't really think Tony Blair is cute, do you? When he gets called 'presidential' here it's as an insult. Thanks to Michael for the link. Having said that a friend of Mark's fancies Gordon Brown. Yikes!
Madonna News...
Microsoft uses Madonna's "Ray Of Light" to promote Windows XP. The advert implies that if you buy Windows XP you will be able to fly. Hmmm. Nice song though. Coming this autumn will be Madge's new CD called "GHV2" (i.e. Greatest Hits Volume Two). Bit of a disappointment as there will be no new tracks. The 15-track album spans Madonna's career since 1991. Interestingly, several big hits have been excluded from "GHV2," including "This Used to Be My Playground"; "I'll Remember"; "You'll See"; and "Rain". The set serves as a companion to the 1990 release "The Immaculate Collection". Here is the tracklist for "GHV2": "Deeper and Deeper" "Erotica" "Human Nature" "Secret" "Don't Cry for Me Argentina" "Bedtime Story" "The Power of Goodbye" "Beautiful Stranger" "Frozen" "Take a Bow" "Ray of Light" "Don't Tell Me" "What It Feels Like for a Girl" "Drowned World" / "Substitute for Love" "Music" Madonna's next project will be a starring role in a film directed by her husband, Guy Ritchie. Filming for "Swept Away," a remake of a 1975 Italian love story, is currently underway in Malta. Let's hope it's no "Shanghai Surprise".
Hurray for us...
Darren, David, Ian and I came first in the Retro Bar Pop Quiz last night! And we won the prize I hoped we'd win! And my generous team mates said I could have it! Thanks guys! Tuesday, October 16, 2001
Psst! Can you keep a secret…?
MI6 are recruiting. Send a SAE to PO Box 1300, London SE1 1BD. Mum's the word. |