Nintendo's next-generation console won't be called the Revoultion after all. It's been renamed the Wii (pronunced "we"). Tee hee.
"Wii can easily be remembered by people around the world, no matter what language they speak. No confusion. No need to abbreviate. Just Wii," reads the announcement on the Nintendo's website. What's that you say? 'Just Wii'. Tee hee. Are they taking the piss? Just Wii in this pot, will you? Tee hee. Purile? Me?
You may think your postman is an lazy over-paid git. Or indeed think him a wonderful human being doing a tireless job for a pittance. Either way, some things he draws the line at delivering to your door. In fact The Royal Mail has a comprehensive list of things it just will not carry: including dry ice, weapons of war or indeed 'filth'. So now you know.
01. Italy 02. Kon-Toki 03. Ireland 04. Pamplona 05. Rubella 06. Lederhosen 07. Kilimanjaro 08. Cocaine 09. Grand Central 10. Groundhog Day 11. B - 35 12. Morticians 13. chloe, claire, caroline, carly, courtney 14. toothbrush, food, cigarette, foot, finger 15. shoes, socks, gloves, twins, boobs 16. church, concert, bath, school, car 17. letter, box, window, drawer, tin 18. William Tell, Sir Issac Newton, Adam and/or Eve, Granny Smith, Steve Jobs 19. C - £800 20. The Italian Job 21. Taverna 22. Jackass 23. Queen Elizabeth I 24. He ran it backwards 25. The Needles 26. A - 3 27. Alton Towers 28. Eros 29. Albion (or Britannia) 30. All Creatures Great And Small 31. Kew 32. B - Flogging 33. Bath 34. Heather Mills McCartney 35. BBC Radio Two 36. Edward Heath
Jeff Wayne's Musical Version of The War Of The Worlds...
Well, what a mighty struggle it was between two mighty foes last night. Naturally the best team won in the end. But it went right down to the wire. Arsenal vs. Villarreal? Oh no. I'm talking Earth vs. Mars. (Although I was getting regular text messages from my nearest and dearest. Roll on Paris!)
There's been much talk of Christmas in my world recently. On Monday night Stuart was talking about his recent Christmas do. Drew gave me a belated but rather lovely Christmas present on Sunday. And last night Paul gave me his Christmas present... which was a trip to Wembley Arena to see Jeff Wayne's Musical Version of The War Of The Worlds. I've long been a fan of the original disco concept album of JWMVOTWOTW - which has been in the UK charts for over 300 weeks and sold in excess of 13 million copies worldwide. But this was the first ever live production of the album. H.G.Wells meets disco meets Martian world tour.
And quite a spectacle it was: crashing, bashing, smashing action from opening scene to mind-bending climax. Full orchestra, 70s disco funksters, space ships, explosions, smoke, flashing lights and Richard Burton (resurrected and in fine fettle). So we got both cheese AND ham!
Size Isn't Everything (Apparently) - The Devil is in the Detail...
Over the weekend I went to stay with Ady and Carl down in Oxshott. They live in such a lovely part of the world and I'd resisted invitations once too often. So it was with some excitement I headed down there on Saturday. We had a great time playing games and just hanging out. It's always nice to catch up with the boys and they were perfect hosts.
Star of the weekend was however their new massive TV.
Naturally I was suitable impressed with their new 42" whopper. I'd perhaps been rather more modest when I bought mine and stuck to 32" (which had arrived on Friday). Ady and I had in fact been chatting about new TVs for some time and had both decided to go for one of these big LCD HD-ready jobbies. He'd plumped for a Sony whereas I'd gone for a Samsung (after doing some research with Ali and following his recommendation).
And I have to say. They are both excellent. HD is indeed very impressive but I guess we'll have to wait to see when the new content actually starts getting broadcast. Sky may be up and running before Telewest I suspect.
Yesterday I went to see Ben, Sarah, Dylan, Eve and Lola. I'd not seen them for weeks as I'd been away and the triplets have really grown. It was so much fun seeing them all. They are being tried out on solids now so quite a lot of it comes back up but that's to be expected. They are looking so cute in their new romper suits.
This just in from my friend Pete who is in Sydney, Australia: "get this... some random person in the 7eleven came up to me today and said "you look like overyourhead"... of which I replied "no thats Jonathan".. he repeated it again.... as did I.. I'm sure his mind was well fucked over by the incident.. and the fact that you were my friend. too funny!! x"
We all met up in the Defector's Weld first for a few swifties and then over to the gig proper.
Andy and Vince were promoting their acoustic Union Street album (crashing into the charts at number 102 last week if you please). The album, and indeed the set last night, showcases Vince and Andy song writing talents over their twenty-one year career together. They have picked songs from various albums and reworked them as acoustic numbers often in a yee-haa country and western stylee. Indeed, Andy insists one motivating factor behind Union Street was to "show the songs in a different light, and show that they could work on whatever instrument, synthesizers or guitars. Vince agrees: "We just felt there were songs on our albums that had been missed as songs."
So the gig last night was an experiment I guess. Would this all work live? And for me the answer is a resounding 'yes' but with perhaps a couple of caveats. Standing in the stalls makes you realise how much people chat at gigs when "a slow one comes on". Worse still, when a gig is 80% slow ones they just chat 80% of the time. So short of punching the noisy fucker next to me I resorted to blowing smoke in his direction and staring at him. Shut the fuck up, you git! The other slight issue is that Erasure gigs are all about dancing. The many times I've seen them before we danced from opening track to mind-bending climax. But last night was mainly about swaying. Good though it was I was left wanting to have danced more. Though it was great to bop a bit to country versions of Blue Savannah Song and Chains Of Love.
Erasure said on the ITN News last night that this wouldn't be a change of direction for them and that the album they were working on next would be full on synth based. So perhaps we can allow them this slight indulgence and revel in Andy magnificent voice as it soars with a solo guitar accompaniment.
'Natch I've already ordered the concert CD from LiveHereNow.
Last night Mike, David and I went to The Green to take part in Paddy's Trivia Quiz. And guess what? We won! Sadly not the big money but a bottle of champagne.
Why not have a go yourself?
01. Where does gorgonzola come from? 02. What was Thor Heyerdahl's craft called for his 1947 Pacific crossing? 03. Which country has won Eurovision more than any other? 04. Which Spanish city hosts the famous bull run? 05. What is the proper name for German Measles? 06. What are the short Bavarian trousers better known as? 07. What is the highest mountain in Africa? 08. What is the chief export of Colombia? 09. What is the name of the large station built in New York in 1913? 10. What do the Americans call 2nd February which is also the name of a film? 11. What is the minimum age of a US President? A - 30, B - 35 or C - 40? 12. What do Americans call undertakers? 13. We asked 100 people to name five girls beginning with C. Name any two of the top five. 14. We asked 100 people to name something you put in your mouth. Name any two of the top five. 15. We asked 100 people to name things that come in pairs. Name any two of the top five. 16. We asked 100 people to name places where you hear sing. Name any two of the top five. 17. We asked 100 people to name things you open apart from a door. Name any two of the top five. 18. We asked 100 people to name people associated with an apple. Name any two of the top five. 19. How much on average does each man, woman and child spend of gambling in the UK each year? A - £8, B - £80 or C - £800? 20. Name the film that starred Michael Cain, Noel Coward and Benny Hill 21. What do the Greeks call a restaurant? 22. What is a male donkey called? 23. Who did Dame Judi Dench play in Shakespeare in Love? 24. What was interesting about Ron Austin's world record 6:23min mile in 1981? 25. What are the three rocks called that still stand off the Isle Of Wight that used to connect the island to mainland Britain? 26. How many houses are there in Downing Street? A - 3, B - 4 or C - 5? 27. What is the Earl Of Shrewsbury’s House now surrounded by? 28. What is the statue in centre of Piccadilly Circus? 29. What was the Roman name for Britain? 30. What long-running BBC series starred Siegfried, James and Tristan? 31. Where are the UK's Royal Botanical Gardens? 32. What was abolished in 1948? A - Hanging, B - Flogging or C - the Home Guard? 33. Where is The Royal Crescent - thirty great houses built in a gently curving terrace with huge columns? 34. What is Paul McCartney's wife's full name? 35. What can you pick up between 88 and 91 FM? 36. Who was British Prime Minister from 1970-1974?
It was a dirty weekend, wasn't it? Filthy, filthy, filthy. Easter may have been late and Spring may be officially here but it was filthy. It rained, it was windy and it was cold. Quite the dirtiest weekend in a very long time.
Changing the subject entirely I went away down to Hastings, St Leonards, Bexhill-on-sea and Brighton for four days over the weekend. Charlie, De La Waar, Eddie Izzard, Griffin 'themed' B&B; had a great time. Tee hee.
Yesterday evening when I got in from work I was feeling tired. I put my head down on the pillow for what must have been five minutes. Long day. Jet-lag. Whatever. I needed a kip.
What seemed like moments later my mobile rang. It was Paul. "Where are you? Have you remembered we're going to David's 50th tonight?" Shit. No. I'd forgotten. Sorry. A few birthday drinks in town might help me sleep right through though. So I pull on some old jeans, a Tom of Finland t-shirt and my old dirty trainers and head on out the door. I call Paul back, "Where is it again?"
Half an hour later I'm just the wrong side of fashionably late. Gosh, this venue looks posh. The Wardolf Hilton in Aldwych no less. Maybe they're all in the front bar. So I ask at reception. Turns out I'm to head for Palm Court at the back. I eventually find it through a maze of corridors but the double doors are closed. So I gently push one of them open. It squeaks rather loudly.
Shit! There's 120 people looking back at me all wearing black tie and suits and sitting at tables. Shit! It's a formal sit down dinner. Posh as. Family, friends, the lot. I spring back out of the door again. Shit, shit, shit! What to do? They all saw me. My mind it racing. Flee or brave it out? My heart is beating fast. I look an absolute state. I can't go in can I? Can I?
I make my mind up. Go for it. I throw both doors open and march right in. All eyes on me I mince straight up to the cute host and give him a big full blown kiss on the lips. "Happy Birthday, darling! Where's the bar?!"
Four hours later I was still there, wobbly from the booze and having smoked too many pogged cigarettes chatting to a porn director and his impossibly handsome Dutch boyfriend. No one seemed to really care I was dressed as a tramp.
The moral I guess is: brave it out and you'll most probably pull it off. Missus.
Well, it's good to be back. Sort of. The jet-lags not been too bad (so far) and there haven't been any major disasters while I've been away. It's mildly depressing to see some of the same shit is still here but at the very least I shall try and bring a sunnier disposition to it if I possibly can. It was a great holiday and I can't thank Davie and Craig enough for hosted me.
Traveling teaches you a few things about yourself and life in general I think. For a start it gives you more confidence in yourself and your decisions. Even on a simple level of deciding what to do with your day. It definitely helps put things into perspective too. And it also teaches you some things about yourself - or perhaps just reaffirms some things you already knew. So all good really.
But there are probably two things I shall take away from this holiday: don't like others just because they like you - see something in them that's worth knowing, and sex on the beach is not just the name of a cocktail.
Wed 5 Sunbathing / Sunny Hill / Pier 26 / dinner & drag / Patsy Decline / laughing at / laughing with / gays vs. greys / attack of the lesbians / barricade
Thu 6 Gavin / Surrey Hills / G / Hertz / Ford Ghia / to Newcastle with Craig / Noah on the Beach / Darcy Street / Islington / Gateway Hotel / pub quiz / karaoke
Fri 7 Tour round city / shorts / Merryweather / ocean baths / Hunter Valley / wine tasting / Mr Spit vs. Mr Swallow / nominated driver / Lindemans Hunter Valley "Steven" Shiraz 1999 / The Cellar / self-saucing Belgian chocolate pudding with oozed maralade jam and ice cream / Scary Movie 2
Sat 8 Wine tasting at 10am! / Margan / Mr Swallow vs. Mr Spit / Blueberry Hill Chardonnay-Sauvignon mould-infected desert / Fresh Creek / Thomas Kiss / Keith Tulloch / Hunter Cellars (case) / drive back to Manly beach / rest / Colombian / Manacle
Mon 3 Museum of Contemporary Art / bears parade / tour / Mike Parr / Masquerade / Sam Taylor-Wood / Beckham sleeping / nude man dancing / lunch with Davie / Jak & Dakster / Mexican with Rich & Steve / Newtown Hotel / heart to heart
Tue 4 Met Pete / Kings Cross / topless / Mrs M's Chair / Fleet Steps / Botanical Gardens / fruit bats / Sex+Death hedge / The Domain / Hyde Park / Oxford Street / Oxford Hotel / bus / train / Newtown / snooze / cab / Waterloo / Gary / "Brace yourself" / wash & go / Oxford St for beerages with Pete
Fri 31 Pottered / Court House hotel for after work beers in garden / Zanzibar / Newtown Hotel with Davie / bumped into Russ and his flat mate Julian / no sleep!
Sat 1 Davie's birthday / mad taxi dash home for pancakes / gave D a video iPod so he can listen to music on way to college / Bondi Beach / posh nosh at Sean's Panaroma (sic) with Sue, Paul, Craig, Davie and me / Bondi Beach walk / C, D and I met Steve for drinks Newtown Hotel / Imperial Hotel / drag show(s) / dancing / 4am / v wobbly
Sun 2 Day in bed / Jak & Dakster / King St burgers / bumped into Aaron / early night / dreamt I was in Fraggle Rock the Musical but I got trapped in a cellar with hundreds of spiders at the audition and Aaron rescued me (go figure!)